Mike: Slow Signs or Go Signs?
I met Roller Derby Girl at my regular Corpus Christi spot, with my fellow bachelor, Drew. She was sitting alone in the booth next to ours. We started talking and I found out that her sister and a friend had just gone to the bathroom.
Overprotective girlfriends can be just as big of an obstacle as a boyfriend, so I had to act fast. She told me her name and that she used to bartend at a different bar and was now a member of the local roller derby team. She was a cute girl with a bit of a tomboyish side to her, and looked too small for roller derby.
When her sister and friend returned, we introduced ourselves and I returned to my conversation with Drew. He needed advice on asking a waitress for her number without coming off as just another lame guy at the bar. It was the perfect opportunity to reengage in conversation with Roller Derby Girl.
“Hey, Roller Derby Girl, we need to get your opinion on something,” I said. She came over and sat next to me. After about 20 more minutes of conversation, she wrote down her number and kissed me.
Two days later she asked if I’d accompany her to the reception for a wedding in which she was a bridesmaid.
“That’s a pretty intense first date,” I said. But my record with bridesmaids at weddings is a pretty good one so I took her up on the offer. Plus, there was a guaranteed free meal and the possibility of an open bar—two things I love.
Within the first 20 minutes of the date, I learned all I needed to know. I started off easy: favorite bands and films. She liked 90’s metal band Pantera and her favorite movie was the 1985 fantasy flick “Legend” with Tom Cruise. Now, I live by the principle taught in the book and film “High Fidelity:” What really matters is what you like, not what you are like. Books, records, films—these things matter.
And we didn’t like the same things. However, she did admit that she liked to drink tequila, which in guy language translates to: “I like to have an excuse in case I do something that’s inappropriate for a first date.”
She spent the next hour talking about her ex-boyfriend. There was no possibility for any emotional connection, but I had some hope for a physical one.
After the reception, we went to my place, drank margaritas and watched a movie. Her glass was always empty before mine. This girl liked her tequila. She wasn’t in any hurry to leave after the movie so I suggested that we watch TV in my bedroom, where we’d be more comfortable. We shot what was left of the tequila and changed locations. We had been together seven hours. Slowly but surely, the night was going exactly where I wanted it to: my bed
I suggested that she spend the night, and she agreed. She got undressed right in front of me, put on a pair of my shorts and one of my t-shirts and laid back down. I turned off the light.
I leaned in to kiss her. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“What do you mean, what am I doing?” I replied, just as confused.
“I thought we were just going to sleep,” she said.
“Really? It’s two in the morning and we’ve been drinking tequila for the last four hours,” I said. “You just got naked in front of me, you’re in my bed, the light is off and you thought we were just going to sleep?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry if I sent the wrong message,” she said. “But I like to take things slow.”
Ladies, I’m going to tell you the same thing I told her, spending the night on the first date is not slow.
“Well, nothing’s going to happen tonight,” she said.
“If you know you sent the wrong message, and you know that I don’t just want to sleep next to you, why are you still here?” I asked.
She changed in the bathroom this time, and left.
Comments
I hate to admit this, but i think i've done that before...haha But if i was roller girl, i wouldnt need the tequila or the lights off! Just kidding!
Posted by: Shannon | April 29, 2008 9:54 PM
It seems that the girl was giving you the "go" signal all night.
After all, who spends the night with someone on there first date?
Maybe the girl was thinking about her morals at the last moment and did not want to "go all the way"...
Posted by: minerva | April 23, 2008 10:55 AM
This girl is clearly a ridiculous tease--not to mention a bit of a head case. But seriously...what would you expect from a girl who would ask you to accompany her to a wedding on a first date? That she would be stable? A great catch? Not so much. When you get a warning sign before you even leave the driveway and you decide to head out onto the street anyway, you deserve to have to drive on the bumpy road ahead, you know? Better luck next time.
Posted by: Elizabeth | April 22, 2008 5:18 PM
WOW!Mike that was great,i think am in love with you actually.I think that girl took things too fast while still thinking that it was slow.The most interesting thing is when she strip in front of you and then comes to bed right next you to sleep,Thats crazy.But i think you are great coz you could have decided to do anything to her but you spared her.That was nice
Posted by: Lyne | April 22, 2008 3:06 AM
I think I am officially in love with Mike. The Roller Derby Girl is majorly crazy, just as much as all her other "crash into other human beings as a form of a sport" teammates. But the situation was very well handled and for all the other people that want to basically rag on Mike for his decision, all I have to say is: lame. But if you were in his shoes, or bed and you saw what he did, you definitely would have said the exactly the same thing.
Props to Mike.
Posted by: Ginny | April 21, 2008 8:12 PM
Wow gentleman, you gave her the 'put out or get out' treatment. She is obviously a confused girl and you obviously belong in a frat...how old are you?
Posted by: | April 21, 2008 4:52 PM
WOOW!!!i thank u mike coz u let her go safe after all,coz some guys may hurt her bro if they were in your part.but sorry coz u expected too much, hahaha
Posted by: julz | April 21, 2008 7:19 AM
WOW... all i have to say is WOW... she totally lead you on!! she cant expect for a girl to get naked in front of a guy.. and the guy not think anything of it. ESPECIALLY if there was alchol involved!!! idk.. but its good that she left your house!!
Posted by: Jeni | April 18, 2008 9:51 PM
you can't just go in for the cleveland steamer, mike. you gotta throw a little foreplay - maybe some spanking, or perhaps some prodding with a lit cigarette, first. still, you did the right thing kicking her out. never, ever reward a Tease! tis noble work you're doing good sir!
Posted by: jose | April 18, 2008 7:39 PM
Boy u r crazy!!!lol
But she is even more crazy because she took things WAY TOO FAST.She should have already known that u wanted seomthing, I mean y else would a male u just met invite u 2 spend the night...??? Duhhh....She needs 2 go back 2 school or something because she's not dealin' with a full deck. LMAO
Posted by: ti | April 18, 2008 5:26 PM
Okay, first of all...Corpus has a roller derby team??? I am from there. I was NEVER aware of this. You should have been sceptical just by her telling you that. Anyways, obviously this girl has some issues. Honestly, who invites a GUY on a first date to a wedding(I have to agree...extremely intense!)and then asks to take things slow. Let alone the getting naked right in front of you. Girls are complicated. I am a girl and I can't figure out why other girls do half the things they do. How are guys supposed to figure us out with roller derby girls, like this, running around ruining the female name??
Posted by: Shannon | April 18, 2008 3:32 PM
Are you kidding me? That girl was just a tease. Maybe she drank TOO much tequila and decided she might be too drunk to perform so she backed out? In any case I think her actions prior to hopping in bed with you were clear signs that she was screaming to get laid. I think she just chickened out. As far as all the people who think you're the bad guy, they must be teases themselves. I mean who changes in front of a guy and then says, "You know I just want to go to bed." I can't believe this chick.
Posted by: Melissa | April 18, 2008 7:38 AM
Wow... I am amazed that so many people agree with you. I say lower your expectations, then you can never be dissappointed. Never assume that you're gonna get laid. Thats where you went wrong.
Posted by: Susie | April 18, 2008 3:43 AM
WTF.....Well when in doubt, just ask yourself what would Tucker do http://www.tuckermax.com
Posted by: Jordan | April 17, 2008 9:03 PM
Pure tease. Unfortunately, there are tons of girls like this. They deliberately send mixed signals: kissing you the first day you meet, inviting you to a wedding reception, getting friggin naked! She wants you to pine for her without having to put out. She tries to fool herself into thinking that she didn't do anything wrong but she does know better.
Avoid these. The enemy is everywhere.
Posted by: Brigitte | April 17, 2008 8:58 PM
Mike, you always find a way to crack me up! HAHA But you're right, you don't get naked in front of a man and say nothing is gonna happen, it's just a tease! Getting naked is supposed to be a sure sign of action! What does she do when she does wanna get it on?!
Posted by: Ashley | April 17, 2008 7:39 PM
Maybe she is gay?....you did say she was tomboyish.I am a "real" woman.......if I get naked in front of you, I want you!!!LOL.....
Tip:Stay outta that hangout!!!
Posted by: denise | April 17, 2008 4:38 PM
damn mixed messages. and i concur that isn't slow. that's a "i wanna get pounced on" sort of deal right there buddy.
Posted by: RENE | April 17, 2008 10:40 AM
I see in two different ways. For you, first, it must have been really dissaponting, since you hope to get something out of this, but too fast boy.
For her, somehow confussing, since she was drunk, and still believing in fairy-god-mothers. Next time I would advice you to take it slow, not just avoiding to get heart-breaking times, but avoiding to be taken as a perverted man. There is a nice song in Spanish that tell the story of a man and a woman, and he finally says, tell me "not' and let me work my way to change your mind. It feels a lot better. Good luck next time baby.
Posted by: Angelica | April 17, 2008 9:42 AM
Well at least you know that if you are ever on a talk show about paternity tests, you indeed sir, would not be the father. Begin cussing at the audience now.
Posted by: berto | April 17, 2008 6:27 AM
Was that girl serious?? Thanks God you did not harm her and I'm so sorry your feelings were hurt. Next time be a little careful.
Posted by: Florence | April 17, 2008 4:53 AM
That was Really rude of u to say that to her. maybee she felt really comfotable with u like she does with her friends, like u said she was kind of tomboyish soo yeah dressing in front of u DOES NOT mean your getting some....it doesn't matter if she is in your bed..YOU invited her there to SLEEP not to have SEX. she didnt ask to get in your bed u offered...maybee next time u should be MORE specific so that the girl doesnt waste her time and can get the hint that u are getting a wrong signal.
Posted by: Troy | April 17, 2008 12:58 AM
Everything was in place and you were just about to get it..... But the moment you switched off the lights, that was the end of it.
Posted by: Robert | April 16, 2008 11:11 PM
But she was drunk, that changes the whole perception. Why are you trying to take advantage of a drunk girl?
Posted by: TJ | April 16, 2008 10:06 PM
wowww. lol thats funny.
Posted by: Renee | April 16, 2008 9:14 PM