I agree with some of the comments posted above. However, we all know that the whole absences of the "black man" in the African American family stems from slavery of course. The whole issue of why black women are single in 2008....stems from a lot of reasons. One good reason, that was mentioned before is dating outside of our race. Black women seem to be much more loyal, then black men for one. Secondly black women have more against them then any other race. So there are numerous of reasons why we are single, but we all could go on for days listing them and crying over them. From men on the down low to men in prison all the way to just simply being gay, could add to the list as well. At the end of the day, I think women should just focus more on God and themselves, rather then trying to "get a man" because when you go out looking, you may not find what you want. Like those said before me, think outside the box and date outside of your race! REAL LOVE HAS NO COLOR MY AFRICAN AMERICANS QUEENS!!!!!!

i was watching the show and all i have to say is...wow im sorry but tyra made it seem like black women should only date black men and white with white and asian with asian hispanic with hispanic. NO things have changed and you should THANK GOD for that you should be grateful to see black and white together and other races cause it means that we have accomplished that acceptance between one another, yea maybe not EVERYONE accepts each race, but really things have changed. If black men r dating other races, why shouldn't black women too? well it doesnt matter what race you are remember we are all HUMAN , we meet if we like each other we date, and if we fall in love we get married. That is life, there is no rule in love that says u should only date your own race and that youll be happy because of it. NO you will not be happy because of race you will be happy because that person you are with makes you feel loved and cared for no matter what race,there is a special someone for EVERYONE in this world, maybe the reason you haven't found them is because u keep ignoring them , what if the love of your life is a white man? or a hispanic man? or an asian man? and you have a chance to meet and get to know them but you refuse because you want your own race, no thats all wrong and thats being racist in my opinion because your still telling the world to stay between their own race, and because of people like you
some couples brake up because their friends or family doesn't want them to date another race and it gets to them but we have to remeber LOVE IS LOVE no matter what race so love yourself as well and dont go looking for your loved one, he or she will come when the time is right. =)

Dear Tyra,

I saw your show on Friday about why black men are not coupling with black women and again was infuriated. I have no idea why you would even have a show like this. Why are you so hell bent on making black women look undesirable? You have traveled the world yet you are very close-minded. You had the black woman on there and made her look like she hated her-self. Maybe you do not think most black men are in jail or baby making machines. You are probably not exposed to that type of man. But the truth is that MOST black men are drug dealing, babies’ daddy jailbirds. This is a fact. We live in these communities and we see this not you. So why are we self-hating when we date outside of our race? you did not even ask this woman if dated outside of her race. You just painted her as a self-hating woman. On top of that you are going to ask the black guy (who is a suspect gay man) what black women should do to get and keep black men. Basically you told the black women that they should settle. We should take any black man. as long as he is nice is should not matter that he has no job or not a really lucrative one. why is it that only black women are told this? No one ever tells white, asian, or Indian women that they should hook up with a man no matter what he does. Why is that society thinks we are not good enough to be with a man that can be a good provider and a lover of our children. Why is it that when we say this is it, Black men are not good and I am not going to waste my life trying to find a so called good black man so I’m going to find a good man period. No matter what race. I will find a good man period. Why is that a problem? Especially for you! You want a man more than anyone. It shows if you want a black man. you are in more trouble than we are. Black men in the entertainment industry do not date black women. It is very rare. You know that. You may want to hold on to a black man but I have news for you. You will be alone for a very long time. the only thing they will offer you is sex and that is it. Non-black men are dating black women. I know. I’m in a relationship with a very kind and loving white man. And three of my black girlfriends are married to white and Asian men. We would not have been in relationships if we held on to black men. Why should we be forced to? Why? It is self love Tyra that makes us want to leave a type of man that has no love for us. In my view. I do not care if black men date white women, I do not care if they do not like me. I could care less actually, because I have men, with power and prestige, men who rule the western world that are interested in me. men that love my long wavy hair and my bronze skin. That want to create a life and be with me. you should start feeling that way too. stop holding on to these men that do not want you. the first thing they are going to say is that you are fake with all that makeup and weave in your head. Men like a natural woman. Try to be that. do not be clingy and stop acting like such a white girl. If you want a white man. trust me, that is what they hate the most. If you act with confidence and pride, you just might get the non-black men you deserve. Stop being so fascinated with black women. You really do not know anything about real black women so stop trying to sabotage us. Because here in NY black women are being courted in droves by non-black men. we are definitely not alone of a Friday. Don’t talk about things you really do not know about at all. And do not think cause you can’t get a man that black women cannot. We can, it is just that unlike you, we are expanding our options. A black man may be sexy (to some people not me.) but that is all they provide. I will take security over good sex any day.. And it just so happens I have both in my man. my groups and are tirelessly letting black women know that there is an option. They no longer have to face the abuse, and disrespect from black men. we let them know that there is a stable option. There are men out there looking for their black queen. And your show is making black women feel hopeless. You are undoing all the work we are making. You have a chance to re-deem yourself. Have a show about black woman that date white men. I will come and let the world know that we actually do not need black men. But you probably will not. Since you are hell bent in making black women look so bad.

I have a little something, I would like to add to this Message here.

I keep up with the tyra show frm. time to time. I think she is an alright host, Her topics are some what interesting!!!

First I would like to say I'm 25 Mexican American with some mixture of other races in my bloodline...
I think that for a long time the people got the ideal that just because your african american or mexican american, cascasin american or jamican what ever race you are that thats the race you should be with and end up with because of what ever reason.

I'm hear to say that there are so many people and so many races that no matter which one you are, you can feel free to chooes with whatever person you want to be with weather is a friend of persoanl realationship with. I personally get a long with every singel race, and i as well fit in with just about everyone frm whatever class they are to race they are. with me it don't matter. I wouldn't say i dated but i have frienships and relationships with several different races, its fun, it's interesting, and you can learn things frm. it.

I watch that tray banks show and the majorty of guys and women on there are real real stupid talking about why they pick casian women, or asian women, or hispanic women. they put out some real lame answers, and some of them were even trying to talk and act cacasin...

I say be who you really are, not what you think others will approve of or want you to be. if your african american be that, if your jamican or asian or what ever your race it be it. don't run in shame or hide cause even if you go out and try to change the color of your skin, or try to speak a certian way, or dress a certian way, or hang with a different crowd, or get a certian kind of occupataion your still gonna be that race, and it all starts with you if you dont like yourself then no one will like you.

another thing is if your a mix race sometimes that can be a problem some say no be it can. cause you really don't know which race to be more. but the benifit of it is you get the best of both race, so be both and get to know all about you rather than just part of you.

ya all dig, you follow me. and me talking right now isn't black its street talk.
theres no such thing as black talk.

I don't know whats wrong with the rest of you in the world, but you need to be who you really are, don't be ashame of it, dont be embarasse of it.

I think the media has a lot to do with how some people feel about they're race because, and i'll tell you how come.
it is because the portray african american men and women as hoes and thugs, or into drugs, and they repesent chicanos as westside cholos gangsters, or rapest, and the chinos and kung fu love you long time sluts..

yep.

thats what it all comes down to.

thats how they show our race. and other people watch that and think thats it speaks for all of us, but its not true it only speaks for the dumd asses who believe it and who are actually out there doing thoes kinds of things...

i thnk we need better media to start telling the turth about races, and get down to the realness of our caluters, and put some better programs on for the kids to watch.

shows like punky brewster. what ever happend to her?

back in the 80's and 90's thoes where the only times when television was really fun and entertaing to watch when familys can really sit in the living room and laugh together....

think abut that.

instead of all this race back and forth crap. grw up and get pass it.

I agree with Qiana. There are wonderful black men that are not American and would love us just the same. I am not opposing dating outside our race. However, as Gakii stated, take time and date good men. Stop picking up anyone because you are lonely.

Well this is an interesting topic. I am a Canadian black woman and I have never dated a black guy, I have not really dated a lot of men but white or black I think it comes back to `What have you done for me lately?` Most men that I meet do not have a lot to offer and when I look at the black women I know a lot of them are working,going to school and raising a child simulataneously, unless he has something to offer you what`s the point she does not have the excess energy to drain. White men are typically accustomed to dating white women who I find more accomodating. You will not get away with the same things with a black woman plain and simple. We are living in a day and age where the success of a man is based on how many women he can get not how loyal and dependable he can be. You will get away with more dating a white woman.Black women also have higher self esteem which can is hard for the majority or men who seem to be getting weaker and weaker as the years go by. It`s typical for Fathers to abandon their families and cheat on their women and we as women have to pick up the slack.I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF.If a man and woman can't be together and elevate each other what is the point. When is the last time you heard a woman say I have such a good man he helped to raise me up and become a better person. I do wish I got laid more ofen though.

Well this is an interesting topic. I am a Canadian black woman and I have never dated a black guy, I have not really dated a lot of men but white or black I think it comes back to `What have you done for me lately?` Most men that I meet do not have a lot to offer and when I look at the black women I know a lot of them are working,going to school and raising a child simulataneously, unless he has something to offer you what`s the point she does not have the excess energy to drain. White men are typically accustomed to dating white women who I find more accomodating. You will not get away with the same things with a black woman plain and simple. We are living in a day and age where the success of a man is based on how many women he can get not how loyal and dependable he can be. You will get away with more dating a white woman.Black women also have higher self esteem which can is hard for the majority or men who seem to be getting weaker and weaker as the years go by. It`s typical for Fathers to abandon their families and cheat on their women and we as women have to pick up the slack.I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF.If a man and woman can be together and elevate each other what is the point. When is the last time you heard a woman say I have such a good man he helped to raise me up and become a better person. I do wish I got laid more ofen though.

WOW... This is a topic I can truly relate too from both sides. I too am a single black female. I have dated men of three different races and to be honest I see NO difference when the race things comes up. I have dated a white man, (who might I add was a BUM) and I dated a black man (also a BUM) and I have dated a mexican man. Now he was a sweetheart, and still is to this day. But when I dated a white man I too, thought things were going to be so different than dating a black man. I thought he was going to love and adore me and be there when I needed him. And all I got was someone who used me and verbally and physically aboused me. I was shocked and appalled, but then that is when it hit.This is the reality of being with a MAN.... no matter what damn race he is. Now do not get me wrong, yes I have been asked all the question if the sex life is different or what the relationships difference was, but to be honest it was NOTHING. To me it was all the same. I mean yes there were ones in his family who did not like me cause I am black, but since I am a strong individual, I did not let their thought dictate or interfere with my realtionship, cause that is their own ignorance. So I do not see this WHITE MAN KEEPING the black people down, has nothing to do with dating someone from another race. That was then and this is now. I think blacks are beautiful and intelligent, but to continue to think like that will not help you do anything but hinder yourself from all the wonderful possiblities you can have in life. Especially in a realtionship. You will always fail if you keep up that kinds of thinking. I know from what I have been through in all my relationships has nothing to with race. It's more of the person.........

thanks shawny, sometimes It gets frustrating as a black individual having to constantly fight against your own race something, that whites have enbeded in our brains in the first place, I think a lot of white people dont want to admit whats really going on in the world today, they want to deny racism, one reason why I think is because naturally they dont understand because they dont have to live It everyday so Its easy to just want to act like It doesnt exist, the other reason I think that they dont want to keep It real because they dont want to own up to anything but I give you props for keeping It real, I know all dont feel the same ignorance but its a refreshing reminder that there is plenty of good out there and we need that sometimes

thanks shawny, sometimes It gets frustrating as a black individual having to constantly fight against your own race something, that whites have enbeded in our brains in the first place, I think a lot of white people dont want to admit whats really going on in the world today, they want to deny racism, one reason why I think is because naturally they dont understand because they dont have to live It everyday so Its easy to just want to act like It doesnt exist, the other reason I think that they dont want to keep It real because they dont want to own up to anything but I give you props for keeping It real, I know all dont feel the same ignorance but its a refreshing reminder that there is plenty of good out there and we need that sometimes

I have read every post on this page... I will tell you up front, I'm white, single, mother. I want to thank everyone that has posted on this site. Your words are raw. You're real. What has happened? This self hatred that some of you have talked about... What has happened? Yes, it's true. Whites have tried since slavery to break down the black man and woman. After the civil rights movement those "in power" found a way to make blacks break themselves down. That's what I see in your words. My heart aches with you. But, consider this: the black community was one that stood by each other -- until the government flooded the community with drugs. I admit, I come from an area that is predominately white and latino. So, I only know a small bit personally about the prejudices people can hold (I grew up with the last name Martinez - it later changed and I noticed a difference in the way people treated me). But this is what I want to share with you:

Hutan Simpanan Penan Ba' Puak Di Larang Masuk

It means:

ALL PEOPLE ARE OF ONE HEART

Please know that not all people see color the same way. We are all beautiful in our diversity -- that is part of what makes each of us so beautiful. Man's devices have created the anger, hatred, divisions that exist between us. In God's eyes, we are all brothers and sisters -- regardless of color, culture, or any other reasons people find to hate each other. I hope that someday the wounds from our past can heal.

First off what we all must take into consideration, is that Chris Rock is a COMEDIAN , which means that his job is to make us laugh. However, many comedians and storytellers do incorporate their own beliefs into their work. I must say that i was happy in a way to read this blog because i was beginning to think that i was the only black woman that was going to be single forever. In alot of ways i do believe that there is some relevance to chris's theories. Please let me elaborate. When i speak i am speaking solely from my own point of view and surroundings. ok. I am a black woman who has never dated a white man. i find some white men extremely attractive and have even fantasized about being with one. The thing that has kept me from dating one is the stereotypical "corny white boy" appearance and facade. If i met or meet a white guy that dresses and acts a little bit more like im accustomed to dealing with, then it would be a go. Black women are a more complicated breed of women. We are the meaning of fierce, strong and independent. In my opinion though it is easier for everyone else to see our beauty and strength than ourselves. Due to this black single mother epidemic (of which i have fallen victim to as well) black women have an immeasurable strength that goes unrecognized far too often. The term single mother gets thrown around so often that the meaning is losing its value. It is hard for employers, coworkers, organizations and especially our government to understand the full meaning of being the SOLE SUPPORTER OF A HOUSEHOLD. The buck starts and stops with YOU!! If mommy cant do it, it doesnt get done. Being a single parent is a task for anyone regardless of race or sex , however i single out black women becuse this plague on us dates back to slavery. Women were forced into this way of life when our men were separated from us, leaving us to support our families alone. The question is WHY CANT WE BREAK THIS CYCLE? Being the sole support of a household gives a woman a dominant position, being a mother also gives that position so it is natural for a woman in that position to take a more "bossy" attitude. However, most tradition makes the man the head of the house. Many women love to argue and say that this is 50/50, and take on that I AM SUPERWOMAN attitude but lets be honest ladies. We do want to be treated fairly by our men, but the bass in their voice, the hair on their face and the dominance that they do posess is what makes a man a man. No noone wants to be treated like a doormat but i as a woman do want the security, the sheltering and the protection that a man can offer;IF HE IS THE RIGHT MAN!! Not if he is the WHITE man, or the black man or mexican, etc...etc.. As stereotypes go, my culture (hip hop) is all about vanity. Name brand clothes, cars, and in a nut shell keepin up wit the Jonses'. Iced out chains, makin it rain in the club and all of that senseless bs exists, but it is part of my culture. With that vanity comes the concern that we have of what others will have to say about us. I will deal with some stares if I walk down 125th (harlem) with a white dude on my arm. At the end of the day, what wehave to ask ourselves is what makes us happy, truly happy. Life is too short to be worried about what everybody thinks about us. Please believe me when i say that i am not the type to throw the race card around. I grew up in an all black neighborhood in the bronx and went to all black and latino schools until i was 15. When i moved upstate ny it was to a predominately white neighborhood, with less than a handful of minorities. The meaning of CULTURE SHOCK. Having been around more white people for the latter part of my life, I am fully aware of the fact that prejudice does exist. Whether we want to admit it or not, there are differences between blacks and whites, but there are similarities as well. Black women, white women, chinese all of us, lets just go for our happiness.Webster's is one of the most acclaimed dictionaries in the U.S. Look up the word "HAPPY"-is there a color in the definition?

Yve..u need to get some more friends because what kind of friends would put you down like that, I'm feelin your laid back and positive attitude but c'mon that is out-of-line with them, everybody has different taste, you are somebodies cup of tea, everybody isnt attracted to the same things, dont think your hopeless

I am an young black woman and I personally like black and white men. I think that color shouldn't matter as long as the man treats you right. I think that black women are so stuck on having the perfect black man that they don't give any attention to men of other races. Personally I think black women should find a man that respects them and treats them like a queen instead of being "racially picky".

you know my sistaz I love coming on this comment page to read all of your concerns, It makes my heart glad just to talk to my sistaz to see whats on their minds, It reminds me of how diverse and beautiful we are in heart and mind, I just was thinking last night how If u notice, no other race puts their own race down like black men
(of course not all of them)
you seriously have to think about that u all, nobody else puts their own race of women down like a black men and of course this goes back to slavery as we all know as a blk race, I was talking to a couple of my older friends who are in their thirties and they were telling me how their friends little thirteen year old sons, & sixteen year old sons who I know personally that are already saying specifically that they wanted mexican girls and dont want anything to do with black girls, they say they like the mexican girls hair and etc.. It's so heart breaking to me, I asked my friend If she had asked her girfriends If they talked to their sons when they have said this and she said no, this reminded me of the post the lady put up about blaming the mothers aunties and grandmas for not talking to their sons grandsons and nephews about loving a black women, I could not understand why they werent disgusted by this coming out their mouths, If It were my son saying this I would be bouncing off the ceiling having a heart attack, I would sit him dwown so fast in front of the t.v. watching roots and everything else It wouldnt even be funny, the men of this generation are lacking a sense of black history and the struggle, their minds are more into the trends going on in the world, not the past, where we have come from, and where we are going, they see this opportunity now to get with whoever you want for ignorant reasoning and they dont give It a second thought, so you got these young guys now with other races, not giving a care how their hurting the sistaz bcause It's normal now and they dont care about the past, not to say that the older men in their thirties and fourties arent doing this but It's even worse with this generation, this past sunday one of my older friends was showing me this eighteen year old guy whos told his mom that he wanted a mexican girl,It really broke my heart because here he was six foot six, eighteen, like 2pac with a degree, chocolate thundah, and I almost wanted to cry knowing that this beautiful black man was calling hiself riding off a sistah already, this was sunday and we were at our religious meeting..soo.. at the end of It when everyone was associating my friend had introduced him to me..It was funny because she said...THIS IS MY FRIEND SHACARA, SHE'S SWEET, HAS A GREAT PERSONALITY, SHE'S CUTE,SMART AND SHE IS SPIRIITUAL, I JUST WANTED YOU TO MEET A BEAUTIFUL SINGLE CHOCOLATE SISTAH, AINT SHE BEAUTIFUL AND CHOCOLATE?

it was just so funny, she kept putting emphasis on that, he was nice and everything and I noticed throughout the rest of the day he was sneaking some looks but at the same time I know It was a spanish girl I heard he had his eye on so I wasnt about to get too happy, to myself I said ..WHATS THE POINT IN DAYDREAMING ABOUT HIM AND MAYBE POSSIBLY NEXT TIME GIVING HIM MY DIGITS IF I KNOW THAT HE HAS SAID HE WANTS MEXICAN GIRLS,

I cant lie and say that deep down inside It didnt hurt a lil bit,

fast foward to later on that day, a ton of friends went to a congregation picnic, as I was sitting at the picnic table and looking amongst all the pretty chocolate black girls playing, so beautiful, with smooth chocolate to hershey skin, pretty round to almond shape eyes, pretty smiles, with black girl style, ranging from twelve to nineteen and I got so sad inside all of a sudden because I said to myself..ALL THESE PRETTY LITTLE BLACK GIRLS WITH THESE GOOD HEARTS ARE GOING TO BE LOOKED OVER BECAUSE OF THEIR BEAUTIFUL SUNKISSED SKIN, IT JUST BROKE ME DOWN..

because It stressed once again for me inside the point that only us as a people put each other down so much, If some of these men that put sistaz down really sat down, went deep in their heart, and meditated on what they said I wonder how they would feel then, If we sat these grown men down in front of the series Roots and refreshed their minds of our black history, what we have been through as a people and how we as sistahs have been through hell and back, how we stood behind our men then ,and to this day still, how we never turned on them but how they turn on us, you want to know why were a bit aggressive as they complain about? well hello! we have been through it all, we have been raped, beaten my masters , and then thrown out like yesterdays trash by our own men, just like angela basset said in the movie "MEET THE BROWNS" a black women always knows how to survive
all of a sudden that trait of strength that used to be admired back in the day of black women now is turned into a negative and to put us down, a lot of black men have low self esteem obviously, self hatred issues, It's ridiculous that when I'm in the public and a see a black man with a white girl they follow me around so that I will notice them, the black man talks extra loud so that I can turn their way, even one case where the man purposely ran into me with a buggy so that I can see him and his white women, black man looking at you and back at his white women as to say "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME" black man pushing me out the way so rudely with his white women, black man that is tagging along behind his precious white women with a thousand bags as she shops, black man tending to her every need so joyfully,..all the while..I'm thinking to myself..arent these the same ones that got you hung when they lied on you about raping them???but yet and still they treat them like queens, In a sense sleeping with the enemy but treating the alli like trash, my friends and I were talking and we were saying to each other how sad It is that when you go out now how Its a pleasant surprise to see a black couple and how exiting It is and how you almost want to cheer for them, for It to have gotton to that point Is really sad, dont forget to watch tomorrows epidode my sistahs, until next time

Ms. Thang

I am in my forties and I have never had a black or white boyfriend. I have many white male friends who say to me the reason they don't want to date me is that I have so many white model type gorgeous girl friends they have never gotten around to me plus they see me as one of the guys. I have tried to me more feminine, but both my white and black male friends say there is nothing attractive about me. When I was younger, it was a joke that if you become my roommate you would be married within the year. I cannot say why other black women have not married, but for me it is just a matter of if you have it or not and I do not. Thank God I love my life, but if you know of any male who would like to date a slightly overwweight plain woman who has been around since Kennedy was present, PLEASE let me know. I want to know what I have been missing.

you know my sistaz I love coming on this comment page to read all of your concerns, It makes my heart glad just to talk to my sistaz to see whats on their minds, It reminds me of how diverse and beautiful we are in heart and mind, I just was thinking last night how If u notice, no other race puts their own race down like black men
(of course not all of them)
you seriously have to think about that u all, nobody else puts their own race of women down like a black men and of course this goes back to slavery as we all know as a blk race, I was talking to a couple of my older friends who are in their thirties and they were telling me how their friends little thirteen year old sons, &sixteen year oldsons who I know personally that are already saying specifically that they wanted mexican girls and dont want anything to do with black girls, they say they like the mexican girls hair and etc.. Its so heart breaking to me, I asked my friend If she had asked her girfriends If they talked to their sons when they have said this and she said no, this reminded me of the post the lady put up about blaming the mothers, aunties, and grandmas for not talking to their sons, grandsons, and nephews about loving a black women, I could not understand why they werent disgusted by this coming out their mouths, If It were my son saying this I would be bouncing off the ceiling having a heart attack, I would sit him down so fast in front of the t.v. watching roots and everything else It wouldnt even be funny, the men of this generation are lacking a sense of black history and the struggle, their minds are more into the trends going on in the world, not the past, where we have come from, and where are going, they see this opportunity now to get with whoever you want for ignorant reasoning and they dont give It a second thought, so you got these young guys now with other races, not giving a care how their hurting the sistaz bcause It's normal now and they dont care about the past, not to say that the older men in their thirties and fourties arent doing this but It's even worse with this generation, this past sunday one of my older friends was showing me this eighteen year old guy whos mother told her that he wanted a mexican girl,It really broke my heart because here he was six foot six, eighteen, like 2pac with a degree, chocolate thundah, and I almost wanted to cry knowing that this beautiful black man was calling hiself riding off a sistah already, this was sunday and we were at our religious meeting..soo.. at the end of It when everyone was associating my friend had introduced him to me..It was funny because she said...THIS IS MY FRIEND SHACARA, SHE'S SWEET, HAS A GREAT PERSONALITY, SHE'S CUTE,SMART AND SHE IS SPIRIITUAL, I JUST WANTED YOU TO MEET A BEAUTIFUL SINGLE CHOCOLATE SISTAH, AINT SHE BEAUTIFUL AND CHOCOLATE

it was just so funny, she kept putting emphasis on that, he was nice and everything and I noticed throughout the rest of the day he was sneaking some looks but at the same time I heard he had his eye on a spanish girl so I wasnt about to get too happy, to myself I said ..WHATS THE POINT IN DAYDREAMING ABOUT HIM AND MAYBE POSSIBLY NEXT TIME GIVING HIM MY DIGITS IF I KNOW THAT HE HAS SAID HE WANTS MEXICAN GIRLS,

I cant lie and say that deep down inside It didnt hurt a lil bit,

fast foward to later on that day, a ton of friends went to a congregation picnic, as I was sitting at the picnic table and looking amongst all the pretty chocolate black girls playing, so beautiful, with smooth chocolate to hershey skin, pretty round to almond shape eyes, pretty smiles, with black girl style, ranging from twelve to nineteen and I got so sad inside all of a sudden because I said to myself..ALL THESE PRETTY LITTLE BLACK GIRLS WITH THESE GOOD HEARTS ARE GOING TO BE LOOKED OVER BECAUSE OF THEIR BEAUTIFUL SUNKISSED SKIN, IT JUST BROKE ME DOWN..

because It stressed once again for me inside the point that only us as a people put each other down so much, If some of these men that put sistaz down really sat down, went deep in their heart, and meditated on what they said I wonder how they would feel then, If we sat these grown men down in front of the series Roots and refreshed their minds of our black history, what we have been through as a people and how we as sistahs have been through hell and black, how we stood behind our men then ,and to this day still, how we never turned on them but how they turn on us, you want to know why were a bit aggressive as they complain about? well hello we have been through it all, we have been raped, beaten my masters , and then thrown out like yesterdays trash by our own men, just like angela basset said in the movie "MEET THE BROWNS" a black women always knows how to survive
all of a sudden that trait of strength that used to be admired back in the day of black women now is turned into a negative and to put us down, a lot of black men have low self esteem obviously, self hatred issues, It's ridiculous that when I'm in the public and a see a black man with a white girl they follow me around so that I will notice them, the black man taks extra loud so theat I can turn their way, even one case where the man purposely rn into me with a buggy so that I can see hime and his white women, black man looking at you and back at his white women as to say "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME" black man pushing me out the way so rudely with his white women, black man that is tagging along behind his precious white women with a throusand bags as she shops, black man tending to her every need so joyfully,..all the while..I'm thinking to myself..arent these the same ones that got you hung when they lied on you about raping them???but yet and still they treat them like queens, In a sense sleeping with the enemy but treating the alli like trash, my friends and I were talking and we were saying to each other how sad It is that when you go out now how Its a pleasant surprise to see a black couple and how exiting It is and how you almost want to cheer for them, for It to have gotton to that point Is really say, dont forget to watch tomorrows epidode my sistahs, until next tim

Ms. Thang

If you haven't been on a dating web site, you should. Even if it is only to see the figures. A dating site is like a census.

I am from extremely ethnically diverse Southern California. But I was shocked when I started using a dating website and saw how many guys (of all races) listed that they would date anyone, ANYONE BUT a black woman. Not all men, but I saw it enough to be sick.

And those guys were all strangers to eachother. Just strangers on a dating website who listed what kind of woman they wanted to date!

I have recently gotten some attention from non black men. I might as well give that a try because the odds don't look good otherwise.

i am a south african black woman and im really disgusted how hip hop degrade african american women.calling them degrading names,is that how they want black american women to be potrayed like low class trash.you never see white musicians degrading their women in such a disgusting manner.that is very stupid if that is how they want to make quick bucks.

I disagree with Chris Rock's comment I have been attracted to many white men and to the end a man is a man...not all o them cuz I know

for those who dont understand who WE are.
love,
another sista

WHAT IF I AM A BLACK WOMAN?"

WHAT IF I AM A BLACK WOMAN?
Is It A Disease?
Well, If It Is,
I Sure Hope It`s Catching
Because They Need To Pour It
Into A Bottle,
Label It, And Sprinkle It
All Over The People
Men And Women
Who Ever Loved Or Cried,
Worked Or Died
For Any One Of Us

So...What If I Am A Black Woman?
Is It A Crime?
Arrest Me !
Because I`m Strong,
But I`m Gentle
I`m Smart, But I`m Learning,
I`m Loving, But I`m Hateful
And I Like To Work Because I Like To Eat
And Feed And Clothe
And House Me, Mine, And Yours
And Everybody`s,
Like I`ve Been Doing For The Past 300 Years

So...What If I Am A Black Woman?
Is It Insane?
Commit Me!
Because I Want The Happiness,
Not Tears; Truths, Not Lies;
Pleasure Not Pain;
Sunshine, Not Rain;
A Man, Not A Child!

So...What If I Am A Black Woman?
Is It A Sin?
Pray For Me!
And Pray For You Too,
If You Don`t Like Women Of Color
Because We Are... Ivory,Midnight Black,
Chestnut Brown, Honey Bronzed,
Chocolate Covered, Cocoa Dipped,
Big Lipped, Big Hipped, Big Breasted,
And Beautiful All At The Same Time!

So...What If I Am A Black Woman?
Does It Bother
You That Much
Because I Want A Man Who Wants Me
Loves Me And Trusts Me,
Respects Me And Gives Me Everything
Because I Give Him Everything Back, Plus!

So...What If I Am A Black Woman?
I`ve Got Rights,
Same As You!
I Have Worked For Them,
Died For Them,
Lied For Them,
Played And Laid For Them,
On Every Plantation From
Alabama To Boston And Back!

So...What If I Am A Black Woman? I Love Me,
And I Want You To Love Me Too,
But I Am, As I`ve Always Been,
Near You,
Close To You,
Beside You,
Strong, Giving, Loving,
For Over 300 Years,
Your Black Woman
Love Me!
(author unknown)

Roz what a disappinting comment from you, like I stated a lot of people are dating out their race for ignorant reasons, I'm tired of people putting white people on some highly exaulted position as If their so perfect and do no wrong, they are a hot mess too just in their own way, you talk no better than when a black man puts down a sistah and exaults the perfect little white women, Why dont u get a revolutionary black man like michael eric dyson, brotha malcolm and brotha martin, a man that is enriched in black pride, black love, and black beauty,thats what a lot of you people dont realize, dating out your race for ignorant reasons is not the buisiness and thats what the case is more often than none, jus another sign of the self hatred that has been engraved in the minds of our people in some way shape or form since slavery

Hello everybody..

Iam a black girl from Sweden, and I have been together with a white man for 4 years now..and he treats me like a man should treat a woman..
For me its not about the color, its about how he is as a person.
Sistas date who ever u want like our men.

I'm a divorced black woman who was married to a black man. Now that I'm single again, I never thought that dating would be this hard. I'm one of those women who is not attracted to white men; therefore, I've never dated outside my race. I believe the reason I'm having a hard time has nothing to do with me. Every black man that I've dealt with came with drama, confusion, triflin ways and they don't know who they are. I'm tired of black men that don't realize the Kings they are and if they don't know they're kings then they won't recognize me as their queen. I'm tired of the drama that they bring, the confusion that they have and their triflin ways. Now I'm looking more at the white man because when I see a black man I'm hurt, disappointed and sad. My faith in the brotha is just not there anymore:(

For the gentleman who commented about dual roles: You are very correct. As a single mother of a young son I struggle to simply be his mother, not his father too. But the reality is that there are somethings that need to handled that his father doesn't intend to ever address. So do I let my son fall between the cracks or do I step up to the plate? I choose to step up and become the hybrid single parent you mentioned. I will gladly relinquish my dual roles for the man who shows he can be a solid and reliable in good times and in bad. One who doesn't rush out the door when the bad times are on the horizon cryin' for his Moma. Given the number of single and blended families its safe to say there are some individuals who don't meet this standard. That's what I'm looking for a solid commitment. Someone who will work through issues together, not dictate saying I'm the man. Also, recognize that I've (and other single parents) carried this dual role for a long time, some of this is ingrained and YOU, the man will need to adjust. More is needed than pointing out the fact you have the XX chromosome and by default are the head of the household. Because your default is not my reality. I have the sacred duty to protect my son. That involves a certain amount of testing to find the right person - so what are you made of?