Her words followed me home.

"I can't imagine what dating you must be like," my friend said after our Wednesday night dance practice. She flashed a "wow" face. "You're strong and crazy. I mean in a good way."

I was wowed too. All these years, I’d never thought about what it’d be like to date me. I mean, I know what I want in a man, but what do I offer as a woman?

Do my aroused looks come off as creepy-club-man glances? What about my intelligent talk, my shrill speech? Is it too much? And my make-out massage, my carrot gnawing? If I were a man, would I want to date me?

An existential exercise was in order. I needed to turn my lens onto myself.

Right away, the idea made me feel uncomfortable, like when I hear my voice recorded. The clash of what I actually sound like versus what I imagined myself to sound like gives me motion sickness.

So I developed a plan.

First, I contacted three former boyfriends, asking them what is was like to date me. Next, I took a "What kind of lover are you?" test on a dating site. Last, I configured a list describing myself, using the five senses as a guide. Was my voice the only thing that rang of adolescence? After some honest reflection, here's what I found:

Sight: When I start to date a guy, I immediately envision what our children would look like, and I implore my guy to come up with hybrid names in an attempt to see the future. “How's Malanthony?”

Smell: With dry skin, I lather myself in jojoba, olive and carrot oils. No matches around me please. I must smell like a candle factory.

Taste: I'm particular. I'll break it off with a guy over an off-handed remark or ill-placed curse word. My attention rarely lasts long after a lackluster hello, but I can be easy to please…if you’re familiar with my rule book.

Hearing: I'm guilty. Ninety percent of my listening is merely waiting to interrupt and assert my own political viewpoint.

Touch: When it's on, I'm a total man-handler.

So I certainly see myself as tough. But after filling the survey of 19 questions like: "Are you a good kisser?", the dating site had a slightly different take, saying I’m a "fantastically great catch.” I scored: "45% bitchiness, 60% sexual drive, 60% cleanliness, and 70% self confidence!”

But for whom am I such a great catch? The site then concluded: "You are nice enough, confident, clean and super-sexy…. the hard part … is trying to choose a partner worthy enough for you." Ok, Cupid, I’d like to buy that, but something tells me you were just sweet-talking to get me signed up.

I had to get my former beaus to weigh in.

After a few unanswered calls and emails, only one ex responded with a quick: “There's no need to rehash the past.” Sheesh. Must have been a brutal break-up.

Well, one thing I learned is that it’s hard as hell to see the true you. But still, exploring the idea was enlightening. What I want from a guy starts with me.