Being a 'dark skinned' female growing up in a 95% white community, I've always felt that I had to prove myself. To the whites, that I'm worthy and had the right to be there just as much as they and to the blacks, I had to prove...well EVERYTHING!!! I've always felt that black people expect me to be so much more than my white counterpart. I've been called ; Oreo Cookie, White Washed, Cookies & Cream, because of the music I listen to, or the men I choose to date, or the way I talk, etc. My mother always told me : I better not bring no white man infront of her! Things like that have led me to feel more comfortable around white, latino, asian, middle eastern or what have you. I refuse to marry and have kids with a black man. I see it as doing my part to eliminate racism. In my opinion everyone should be with someone of another 'color'. The Exnihilation of One Ethnicity.

I am a dark skinned black woman, not that it makes any difference I am a person first of all and foremost. This show was very interesting today. I can not believe one woman in particular that said she does not want her son to bring home a dark skinned black woman. I have two sons myself. Both totally different in color. My eldest is biracial very light skinned and he is 13, my youngest is 4 and dark skinned. I can care less who my sons bring home as long as the young woman is respectful, love herself, love God, and cares for my sons. Why we place such a barrier on color is like what tyra said that is what the master wanted. He wants us to separate each other to carry on the non sense. Why we can't look at the inside of what people bring to the table no matter what the color is a mystery. I do believe that this woman had something traumatic happen to her in early years or recent. She is choosing at this time to recognize it. If it so much about color I have a question to oppose that may get people thinking as well. My two sons one is half white the other we both are black. Which one the kids do you believe the father is not caring of them?

Hi,
I loved this topic! I'm a 17 yr old white girl. Even though people think that white people have it better, I get picked on because I'm so white. My brother is just a lil darker than me and he still makes fun of me. I know this was about black people but I have the same problems and alot of it is from my family and friends. My family is big on not dating blacks and sad to say I believe the same thing, but my bro. married a black girl and I'm just fine with it. So, we have broken this chain and hopefully more people will!

I am a white woman and I think that there are light skinned women that are gorgeous and dark skinned women that are just as fabulous. I recognize that there are beautiful people of EVERY race!!

I am a fully black person
[Ghanaian] with a a chocolate colored skinned && for a long period of time i would look at my self and think i'm ugly. When ever it was winter my skin would become a bit lighter which made me feel so good. After i watch the Tyra Show i realized that it doesn't matter what skin color I am because as part of the black community its not like we are in a competition to see who is lighter than the other [although some people think so]. So i really want to thank Tyra for letting me look at another side of me.

Hi tyra i grew up mix it was very hard home and school my father is italin and my mom black she was very abusive she called me a white {B} it was hard all the darker girls jump me i had to run home almost every day i ran so fast i pass my home i grew up hateing black girls today i have 2dark and 2light kids my grand daughter is darker than my daughter it amazes me god got last word i taught my kids god want us to be one if i cut a light and a dark well bleed the same but to see your show brought back bad memories and far as that lady with son she better be careful it will come back and hunt her

I am a 23 year old darkskin woman who has been through hell and back for being a darkskin woman. I still have the hardest time dealing with the color of my skin. Since I was in daycare, I've always been put down for the color of my skin. I've been called burnt cookie, burnt biscuit, oil spill, ink spot, black widow. . . the list goes on! I've only had two black boyfriends and the two black boyfriends family did not like me because of the color of my skin and they made it known that they didn't like me because of that. I've even had family members that put me down because of the color of skin. I've never in my life felt like I was beautiful and I honestly don't ever think I will feel that way because of the years of verbal abuse by so many people for being DARK! My parents have always told me that I was beautiful but for some reason, I felt like they were my parents and that they were supposed to tell me how pretty I was. So, I never took their compliments seriously. I went to the point to where I told myself that I would never date a black man because since they didn't like me, I didn't like them. I've even had family members tell me that they buy skin lighner just to make sure that they don't appear darker than they originally are. I've had my cousins tell me that they don't wanna stay in the sun too long because they don't want to be black as me! I've had them tell me that my sister was prettier than me because she was lighter and because she had prettier hair! People have asked me questions like, how could my sister and mom be so pretty and me be so ugly? I've been told by black guys that if I was lighter, they would go out with me! My self esteem got so low that I never took any pictures from 7th grade to my sophomore year. The only reason why I took a picture my senior year was because my parents really wanted a senior picture of me. Being verbally abused has affected every part of my life. I still hold a grudge against black men but strangely enough, I don't hold a grudge against black women as much anymore because I've learned that most black women are just bitter about something and that's something that they can't help.White men and other races have found me to be beautiful and since then, I swore to myself that I would never ever date a black man and I never have. Matter of fact, I married a Romanian and now I have a beautiful mixed four year old girl and I thank God every day that she doesn't have to deal with the emotional trials that I went through for being a darkskin person in the African-American world. She has beauiful smooth naturally tanned skinned and beautiful black naturally curly hair! I can already tell the difference of her upbrining compared to mine! She gets compliments all the time and I know it's because she's mixed.
Now I truly hope and pray that this light skinned and dark skinned "drama" will go away, but we all know that nothing's going to change! I actually feel sorry for the african american community because we already have enough hatred towards us and this is just another thing that makes us look bad.
Tyra, I have to say that I'm very happy that you did a show about this because maybe the more this topic is talked about, maybe, just maybe we can get past this. I just wish that I knew about this show because there's so much more that needs to be said about this subject and hopefully, someone will here my story and realize that this epidemic in our community is only hurting us, not helping us!
Thanks Tyra!

I have very white skin but my best friend has dark black skin. she is made fun of all the time because she is black and i dont think its rite. i personally think she is much prettier than i am but most people will come up to me and tell me that im beautiful and then just look at her and walk away so i think darker skinned people have it harder than whiter skinned people.

I absolutely loved the show about is lighter skin better because I have seen it in my community only the lighter skin is made fun of. Same goes to the white community. I am made fun of because I am "too white" and that people like me should not be able to wear capris or shorts or colors of white until I tan. I love my color. I burn easy, why should I sacrifice burning myself to make someone happy? In a high school beauty pageant I did, I did a fake-bake while my best friend didn't. She actually got a comment saying "too white." It's hard to consider what is the "perfect" skintone. Every single skin tone is not enough and I'm so glad that the show talked about this even though I am not black because people do need to know.

Remember there was a big issue with Kanye West stating that without light-skinned women, I think he referred to them as "mutts", there would not be many women to choose from in the music videos? My question is how can a dark skinned man put a dark skinned woman down because of their skin tone when he is dark skinned himself? This sh*t is so sad. What is this world coming to?

I am a carmel brown skinned girl who has not really had any negative encounterS for my skin tone. I have always loved my color, and have love for all shades of the rainbow. My boyfriends/friends have ranged from dark to light to many of the other colors. However my number one best friend is light skinned. Not that I chose it that way, it just happend. I am aware of the separation with dark and light, but I choose to value all colors and not look down on anyone.

I SAW YOUR SHOW TODAY VERY INTERESTED,IT REMINDED ME OF MY NEICE WHEN SHE WAS IN JR.HIGH SCHOOL AND THE KIDS ON THE SCHOOL BUS CALLED HER A CHOCOLATE BURNT COOKIE.SHE CRIED FOR DAYS AND DAYS WE TOLD HER TO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND THAT BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL.I THANK GOD THAT I WASN"T RAISE TO SEE ANY COLOR,I DON'T LIKE THE WORD UGLY, I FEEL NOONE IS UGLY PEOPLE MAKE THEIR SELF UGLY WITH THE ATTITUDE THAT THEY HAVE.

I had the opportunity today to watch this show and I was appauled with some of the guests on the show. It's crazy to think that people of the same race are prejudice against each other. I was not fully aware of this "inner-problem" until this show. I can now say that thinking back on my life as a hispanic female, there were subtle clues that were given but enormously ignored by everyone. I could not believe what one woman was saying and teaching her own son to hate their own people. I can say that I don't think skin color matters, to me, I think it's the person inside that counts. It truly is a shame that not everyone can see that! We as people (all people-all races) will not be able to come together as one and eliminate all prejudices unless each race can stick together and then move interracial without judgements. I hope that this issue is taken seriously by everyone, not only black women and men, but all people.

I am a light skinned black female who watched your show today. People (some) want to act like because we're light-skinned we are issued free health care, or discounted gas, or special relief from recession woes. HA! (that would be "having it better than...")
To clear it up for some- H*LL no its not easier for us. It hasn't been easy for NONE of us. My mother's light skin didn't protect her from abuse/drug use- or loosing her youngest daughter (me) to the system (foster care), and it hasn't protected me from struggles and hard times either. Hard times has nothing to do with skin tone-its all about your economic status, baby, those are the facts.
Growing up I had a complex-not wanting to be light skinned because of certain stereotypes. Like some sisters have heard "oh you're pretty to be brown skinned" which is messed up, but I heard "oh, you're cool to be light" "I thought you were conceited (or an airhead) 'til I got to know you".... When dating, my heart was broken a few times by dark-skinned (fine) brothers. But thank God I have love for all black men and didn't remain stuck on a stereotype, because along came a good (light skinned) brother who I fell deeply in love with and loves me just as much.
Now I'm preparing (not poisoning) my six year old light skinned daughter for what she'll probabbly face-being that folks are still telling their kids "don't you bring home someone too light or too dark.." or light skinned people are this way, brown skinned people are that way," etc.
Its a shame what is still being passed down from slavery. Along with many other things, I am teaching my daughter we are a race of people with classic beauty, strength and intelligence. But also she should not ever let anyone make her feel ashamed, or have to explain or compensate for sh*t. This sickness is not her (or any other child's) fault. The fact that this is still being taught at home is a poor reflection on parents who do it- throwing fuel into fire that we've been trying to put out for years.

Hi Tyra,

Today's topic really opened my eyes. In middle school I was the new girl in an area that is 70% african-american and I was picked on and told that I was "the ugliest barbie doll" they had ever seen. I never understood why they called me names and thought I was stuck up because I was so shy and kept to myself. Now, in college, one of my good friends is a medium toned african-american woman and when she invited me to her house for dinner a few of her friends snubbed me and I never understood why I was scoffed at for just walking in the room. It has made me afriad to approach african-american women my whole life which I guess only perpetuates their belief that I think I am better than them....what a horrible cycle.

I am a light skinned black female who watched your show today. People (some) want to act like because we're light-skinned we are issued free health care, or discounted gas, or special relief from recession woes. HA! (that would be "having it better than...")
To clear it up for some- H*LL no its not easier for us. It hasn't been easy for NONE of us. My mother's light skin didn't protect her from abuse/drug use- or loosing her youngest daughter (me) to the system (foster care), and it hasn't protected me from struggles and hard times either. Hard times has nothing to do with skin tone-its all about your economic status, baby, those are the facts.
Growing up I had a complex-not wanting to be light skinned because of certain stereotypes. Like some sisters have heard "oh you're pretty to be brown skinned" which is messed up, but I heard "oh, you're cool to be light" "I thought you were conceited (or an airhead) 'til I got to know you".... When dating, my heart was broken a few times by dark-skinned (fine) brothers. But thank God I have love for all black men and didn't remain stuck on a stereotype, because along came a good (light skinned) brother who I fell deeply in love with and loves me just as much.
Now I'm preparing (not poisoning) my six year old light skinned daughter for what she'll probabbly face-being that folks are still telling their kids "don't you bring home someone too light or too dark.." or light skinned people are this way, brown skinned people are that way," etc.
Its a shame what is still being passed down from slavery. Along with many other things, I am teaching my daughter we are a race of people with classic beauty, strength and intelligence. But also she should not ever let anyone make her feel ashamed, or have to explain or compensate for sh*t. This sickness is not her (or any other child's) fault. The fact that this is still being taught at home is a poor reflection on parents who do it- throwing fuel into fire that we've been trying to put out for years.

Hola Tyra,

I really enjoyed your show as well. I really apprecaite the fact that we are all trying to accept our differences. I can relate being that I am lighter complexted. I have two sister's and a brother, we all have different shades. It's hard sometimes because I felt my mother didn't like me because I looked more like my father, because he is lighter. My mother is darker complected and raised us on her own. I don't feel that I have it any easier. To be honest with you I think darker complected women are beautiful. I have many male friends that perfer darker complexted females. I just hope that we will all just accept and love who we are as a black race. I think there are more things that are more important in life than looking at the different shades of our skin. I am a native of California. Everyone marries out of their race there. When I lived in Georgia people seemed more apprehensive about marrying out of their race. But times are changing. I actually perfer men of color. I tend to like darker complected men, just my perferance. I can't change who I am, but I can change the person I can become. With that note I will say. "All Black People Are Beautiful"

Thanks again Tyra

I'm watching the "skin color" show right now and it's really pulling out some emotions that I try to ignore everyday. I'm 22 and recently married and you would think that I was very secure and confident within myself but that is not the case. The feeling of being inadequate and not good enough has reared it's ugly head in my life once again and I'm afraid that its gonna ruin my marriage. My husband shows a different type of attention to stars and celebrities that have a lighter complection. That wouldn't get to me if it wasn't for the situation that our relationship emerged from.
In the beginning he revealed to me that he was in a failing relationship that he didn't know if he wanted to fight for. But he proceed to put her on a pedalstool because she was light skinned and a model. And another girl before me was bi racial, black and mexican. They both had hair down their back and fit the body type he liked. Even though I had shoulder length hair I wore extentions and he always wanted me to wear my real hair, as if I was an embarrassment bc of the extentions. He stopped making a big deal about it and really became the person that I love. But its really hard for me to show the condfidence I had before that incident.
He always tells me that I am so sexy and he loves me, but I find it hard to let my guard down to accept the compliment. We just had a baby and now I'm getting my shape back but now instead of a flawless six pack, Im burdend with thoughts of him being turned off by my stretch marks. I know most of this comes from my childhood growing up with friends who were bi-racial, black & white and black & philipino.
We were the best of friends until we went to different high schools. We drifted apart when I felt that she only wanted light skinned friends and when I tried to reconnect with her I received very fake efforts. This is brought to my attention almost everyday with my family and my husbands family.
They have been recognizing that my 3 month old daughter will grow to be darker complected by the tips of her ears. They comment on her skin color, they say things like, "Where did she get her color from, she's so dark, and she gonna get even darker". It just really bothers me that she's getting it from her family who loves her. I refuse to let her grow up thinking that she any less than any other person.
It's almost as if we need Dr. King to fight for civil rights within our own race. It's sad but it's the truth.

I believe that everyone has too go through many struggles in life and its sad to see that racism is being took to this level. Until today I never really realized the levels of light skinned black people, or dark skinned, a beautiful person is just that to me, beautiful. Its sad to know the struggles the black community must face by people who made it hard to begin with, and I always thought that the pain of that would connect the black community, but too see the racism within ones own race really hurts. Growing up in a small town in northern British Columbia I can remember the first black person that came here, he was a doctor, and an amazing man. The struggles he went through I could not imagine. But now ten years later our black community is growing, and he is the person we have to thank for that. We all face struggles with the color of our skin, weather you are light and want to be darker like someone else posted, we are always working so hard to get a tan :) But then the darker race seems to want to be lighter... I do not think racism can be fought until your happy with who you are in full. There are so many problams in the world today, I honestly cannot imagine worrying about who's dark or light around me, just worrying if they are recycling or not :) I hope that the people watching your show today, are realizing how silly it all really is. If we could just connect together things would be so much easier. If people would be honest, and come to terms with who they are, instead of blaming someone else, it would be easier to see the beauty within them. You had a women on your show today, saying that light skinned women are better than dark... and she was quite dark herself, it is obvious she is hurting in some other way. I once dated an aboriginal boy in high school and his mother could not stand that I was white. She made sure to let me know how she felt as well, though I am also aboriginal you cannot really tell. It made me sad for her, not myself. I am just babbling now but before I sign off I would like to thank you for being such a strong women, and that is how I see you. Not as black, or carmel :) Just a beautiful women, who is strong, that we can all look too for inspiration. You should be so proud.

Hi Tyra, I am a white woman who has 3 daughters who are half black. Today's show reminded me of how far we, as a society, have to go to become what we should be. It hurt me to see what the darker women were going through, no one should be treated that way for any reason! I do have a unique perspective on this issue, in a way I am an outsider looking in, but I am also very close to the issue be cause of my daughters. My oldest 2 daughters are generally assumed to be light skinned black girls and are accepted by their black peers as well as white and I have seen them be treated differently than some of their darker friends. I have also seen them shunned when people find out that they are half white, but they don't feel like that is something they should have to hide. And my youngest daughter is not as easily accepted by her black peers because she looks like "a white girl" who happens to have brown hair and brown eyes. She has actually been told by her black "friends" that she was a white girl and needed to remember that and not "act black" or hang out with the black girls. So, I really want to know where is the line? If you are black, you can't be too dark, but you can't be too light either. Exactly where is the line? And why does it really matter?

P.S. Just another note, my current husband is white and I have noticed that the black women (usually on TV) that he points out as being beautiful have all been dark skinned.

Hola Tyra,

I really enjoyed your show as well. I really apprecaite the fact that we are all trying to accept our differences. I can relate being that I am lighter complexted. I have two sister's and a brother, we all have different shades. It's hard sometimes because I felt my mother didn't like me because I looked more like my father, because he is lighter. My mother is darker complected and raised us on her own. I don't feel that I have it any easier. To be honest with you I think darker complected women are beautiful. I have many male friends that perfer darker complexted females. I just hope that we will all just accept and love who we are as a black race. I think there are more things that are more important in life than looking at the different shades of our skin. I am a native of California. Everyone marries out of their race there. When I lived in Georgia people seemed more apprehensive about marrying out of their race. But times are changing. I actually perfer men of color. I tend to like darker complected men, just my perferance. I can't change who I am, but I can change the person I can become. With that note I will say. "All Black People Are Beautiful"

Thanks again Tyra

Hi Tyra i am a beautiful black women and i love my dark skin but when i was younger and sometimes even now i hear comments and remarks about my skin. i feel like lighter skinned black women get treated better and are looked at more as in terms of relationships, jobs,just about everything.when i turn on the tv and see african american women they only show lighter skinned girls or women and even when i want to go to the store to buy makeup i see things like covergirl or revlon and they only have up to a caramel type color and it upsets me because there are girls darker then that. Like i mentioned earlier when you turn on the tv and see things like music video's you always see like skinned black women and a few darker girls It upsets me that are own people judge the way they do I've been told that because i might date outside my race that i'm trying to become something i will never be which is a white or spanish women but I dont want to be saying that i wanna change my skin is like telling my grandmother, mother and even my ancestors that i hate them and i dont i love them and i love myself and my beautiful dark ( Black) skin

i am honestly getting pretty sick of this. it does not matter what race you are what skin colour or what skin tone.. who cares. we all get judged by our colour/tone whatever at some point, its just the way things are. why things arent changing is because of the people who will not let it go, i am 16 white girl and even i know that the 'race' i am is becoming a minority, yet we still get called prejudice etc. etc. i get called prejudice.. uhhmm hello.. i really dont care. and people automatically calling me prejudice..makes you prejudice.
dont call me immature.. or say i dont know anything. cuz i do.. i know alot for my age. and we all need to grow up and get over it, because nothings going to change until we change.

Ms.Tyra,

I would like to say that this was the most interesting topic to which you have cleverly brought to light (no pun intended). And I say cleverly because you and I and all the sistas watching (and anyone who is educated) know that the manner in which the topics were discussed begs the question: THEN WHERE IS THIS S*** COMING FROM?

And that answer brings us the root of 'it' to which we find in history. As much as people get tired of hearing it, history doesnt go anywhere so JUST DEAL WITH IT(which is what you are trying to do for us..for everybody).

See..today we have been lead to believe that all s in the past. And to a degree that is true. We CAN achieve anything we wish. And we certainly push very hard to do so "Everyday Im Hustlin". And some are too discouraged.

But many cant deny that you feel what is buried underneath. This is where and WHY the pattern of bringing up race ..ethnicity...social stratification keeps coming up. Because we (black , white, whatever) keep trying to bury the BEAST.

That "It" (history and other causes) had thrown a bomb in the middle of the black family which created self hatred against eachother, therefore self distruction...which is exactly what some people and institutions in history wanted to happen.

And it sadly continues today. But we have been taught through media that if we get gold and bling, that it must symbolically mean we got out of that system. Which to me is like "the" institution (the mother) giving a baby a sucker to keep him quiet and ignoring the fact that a babys diapper still gotta be changed. And then the "Mother" teaches the siblings how to pacify eachother while she is away and the s*** keeps building up. (were not babies though). DONT BE FOOLED!

I have recently graduated with a degree in Anthropology. I love different cultures and people. So no s*** here. I love my culture as well. But I am also open. My boyfriend is from Okinawa Japan and mainland Japanese dont even consider him Japanese. I witness the racism he faces when we go out into the asian community here in San Diego. Both because he is Okinawan and because I am black (from South East Diego..aka "The Hood") So this s*** is world wide. I boldy call it s***.

I am African-American with a very enriched skin tone to which people call "dark". My sister and I have the same parents, she is "light" because of the french genetics my dad picked up from Louisiana. So?!?! Ya know? But people sometimes flip a lip when I try to explain that I have white spanish and native american ancesters. I shouldnt feel the need to explain. I just try to create a buffer zone so my sister wont feel so akward to peoples ignorance. Or they they I am "too dark" to have had inherited the genetics my sister shows on the outside. Though I am 5 years older, they ask if I am HER sister...and not the other way around.

Most black people in america have been Creolized. But yes we are BLACK. Black by our own definition. I love being black. And I have ALMOST never felt any kind of split between my sister and I because I refused to. And I was too busy raising her to let it become an issue.

But I can admit that I have also seen that light skinned/dark skinned issue in pre-school through College. The mixed girls getting the attention. And I know they know whats up and the advantages that the reap from the product of forced self-hatred. And they do use that to their advantage with a pursed lip. Because no one wants to talk about it. So we know its true alot of times. It just has to be opened like a pimple to relieve some pressue.

I admit I used to have the same feelings about seeing you on the run way in the 90's. I was too youngggg to think like that. But I was conditioned so early.I am only 22. But I used to think "she think she alllllll dat"..because of your features. And I am so sorry!!! I love you Chal'!
I am the first to graduate from my family and often the only black /dark person in the classroom. I admit I have felt and experienced the color pinch. Partly, due to my own inherited insecurites and the insecurities of others (self-hatred)...from people of all types. So YEP I KNOW IT HAPPENS!!! I FELT IT! I EXPERIENCED IT!.

But...We would like to thank you for being brave and bring it up and re-washing the laundry. Keep it up because your changing the world a piece at a time. No one gets the solution on the first try..but girl...somebody has got to start it. What a TRAIL BLAZER you are! God Bless. I also appreciate the way you keep it so diverse in your shows. Thank You!!

Peace and Vaseline!,

Ms.Candace

Your show is just blowing me away. I am not 'black' however there is a bigotry in my family against darker skinned people that I have always have had to conteract my whole life. For all intents and purposes my family is 'caucasian', however, our roots are in the mediterranean and north african regions.

I am the younger sister with the crazy curly frizzy hair, with the skin that tans easily and have been fighting prejudice and weird comments from my family. My older sister is lighter skinned, hair is straighter and she does not tan. Just this difference alone has created a problem in my family our entire lives...

It's a terrible human trait that even in families with varying backgrounds this prejudice also exists.

I love your show and the fact that you bring up these situations so people can heal and be real!