Sometimes it just can’t be helped. No matter how hard a guy tries to be good to his girl, there always seems to be something for her to fault him on. Even when he’s trying to do something good, there are always times when it backfires, usually right in his face.

Let’s flash back a few years to a younger, simpler me. My girlfriend and I had been together for a few months and, looking back, all the warning signs of trouble were there; if I had the deal breakers in place then, this relationship would never have even started, but I was young and in love and no one could tell me any differently.

It was a Thursday night. She usually had work early on Friday mornings, but this week she wouldn’t have to, so we were going to meet up for a night together. No exact time was set because I had some errands to run, but when I was done I was supposed to go to her house.

I drove all over the place that day, from one end of the city to the other and back. Along the way, I ran across a friend who had something I knew my girlfriend would appreciate. The only problem was it would take some extra time to get it. I decided it was worth it so I waited…and waited. It ended up taking a lot longer than expected.

I called her from my friend’s house to let her know I was running late, but I would be there as soon as possible, and that I had a little surprise for her. Her reaction wasn’t very nice. She called me names and told me I was inconsiderate. I replied that I was trying to do something nice for her, and if she would just wait a little longer, I would make it up to her. She hung up on me. The surprise finally arrived. I left my friend’s house and drove the hour and a half to her place.

When I got there, her family was giving me the eye. She came downstairs and began yelling at me about how inconsiderate I am, how she had been looking forward to spending the whole night with me, and how I had ruined everything. I tried to tell her that we could make the most of it now that I was there, but she just started to cry.

I told her I had brought her something, and she didn’t even want it anymore because she felt so terrible. Somehow in the conversation, it came up that I was at my friend’s house waiting for the surprise, and this just made her more upset. She accused me of blowing her off for my friends. This went on for a while. We never did get to go out that night, and I ended up keeping the present. I just couldn’t figure out how to make her happy. The only reason I was so late was because I was trying to do something nice. My intentions were good, even if my execution wasn’t perfect. When I got there, I expected her to be happy about the gift, instead she focused on the negative, and therefore ended up wasting the rest of our night.

Eventually, the whole thing went down in flames, but the lesson I learned still burns bright in my mind. Do not confuse my mistakes with my intent. No man is perfect, no matter how hard we try. It’s easy to love all the good things about a person, all the things you think are perfect, the things that bring you together. But it’s accepting the flaws that will keep you together.

The irony of it is that I’m usually blind to mistakes. That’s why I stayed with that girl even though she made me feel awful. I’m pretty easy going, so if we’re dating, I’ll usually overlook everything except the most blatant of transgressions. But in the end this usually leads to disaster.