So many guys don’t trust their girl to go out with guy friends. And girls are no better. How many ladies let their man hang out with another guy? This needs to change.

You need your friends as much as I need mine. My lifestyle and my friendships shouldn’t change simply because we are together. Yours shouldn’t either. We are supposed to be building a life together that we both enjoy, not ripping each other from the past.

Looking back, I have seen a lot of friends get involved in long-term relationships at the expense of their friends. Casual acquaintances are the first to go, followed by the friends who filled your schedule not reserved for “me-time” or sleep. Eventually, many people choose their lover or their closest friend. To be fair, the closest of friends will always be there when the worst of lovers has left you. Even if you spent all your time with your lover, your closest friend will always come back to you.

My advice is keep your friends close no matter what. Your friends will always be your friends. I hope you have met the man of your dreams, but if the dream becomes a nightmare, it is your close friends and family who will wake you up. I need to be able to go to my friends when I am trying to figure out what to do with you.

My grandparents were married for 60 years. If there is a model for a relationship, this was it. For those 60 years, these two laughed, cried, worked, slept, pushed, pulled, reared children and served the community. My grandfather loved to hunt. He never shot anything, but he loved to go. My grandmother hated it, but out of love for my grandfather, she didn’t just allow him to go, she encouraged him. She recognized that he needed to see friends she didn’t necessarily like, but because he liked them, so did she. Later on they complained to each other, but it didn’t make a difference. The two of them were a team no matter what. They both, after sixty years, still had friends exclusive to each other. My grandmother didn’t like all of my grandfather’s friends, just like he didn’t like some of her friends, but they respected each other enough to allow the friendships to continue.

No girl should be willing to give up on all their friends for their man. As far as I can tell, there are two reasons for this. The first reason is trust. She doesn’t trust her man so she doesn’t let him out of her sight. She doesn’t trust him around his friends, so she keeps him from them. This is stifling. If a lady cannot trust, then she cannot expect her relationship to work. The second reason for this insanity is insecurity. She wants to be involved in every part of his life. She wants him to like her so much, that she will do anything to be close to him. By making his friends her friends, she tries to ensure that she will always have a connection to him.

Once again, it is the irony that makes this whole thing worthwhile. Here I am talking about how important friends are and keeping friends during a relationship, when I haven’t been in a real relationship for years. Maybe I’m spending too much time with my friends and not enough time trying to find someone for me.