Teen Troubles: Judgment, Popularity and Sex

Whether you are a teen or were a teen, you know how difficult high school can be. With popularity, sexual pressure, drugs and more, it only gets worse as the years go on. The following resources can help you deal with these issues.
POPULARITY
So, You Want to be POPULAR?
www.wholefamily.com
'Hanging Out' Continues To Grow In Popularity Among Teens
www.theonion.com
SEXUALITY
Strong Religious Views Decrease Teens' Likelihood of Having Sex
www.parentingteens.about.com
Sex Education: What Should You Say?
www.familyeducation.com
JUDGMENT
Don’t Judge Me
www.layouth.com
Building a Healthy Body Image and Good Self-Esteem: A Guide for Teens with Facial Differences
www.youngwomenshealth.org










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Posted by: jesse | May 6, 2008 2:16 PM
Tyra i need your help!!!!!!!!!i really need your help. i bearly turned 18 on may 1,2008.I have been struggling because i am rasing my brother aand my sister because my parents were taken away from us unjusticely. I want to let people know my story because it is happenning all over the U.S. and people dont know. Now i am struggling everyday to bring food for them and to provide money for us, cause i am still going to school althought i graduate in june. We have been in the LA times, San diego union tribune and many other newspapers in san diego, we have been in spanish talkshows. But i really need ur help i love your show and i thought u can help me please.im very desperate and sometimes i want to give up. what keeps me going is my brother and my sister and my parenta althought they were taken away from me they depend on me in everything.They were deported to mexico because i lawyer lied to them and told them that they could ligalize and it was all i lie. Please help me help other people know whats going on and also if u can help me find i way out.Thank you sooo much i am a fan of your show and i think it will have a great impact n people. thank you please respond back
Posted by: leslie munoz | May 2, 2008 2:24 PM
Hey tyra :)
at my highschool, to be popular you have to pretty, skinny and all to be popular and im not any of that.
I used to always hate my look and all but when i saw your show and where you said " SO WHAT".. something came to me.. i said to myself "so what if im not skinny, so what if im not attractive" and by saying that has made my self esteem go up because it was always low, and your shows have been helpful because you state the true facts on things.
Thank-you for doing these shows :)
Your My Role Model :)
Much love
Mariah
Posted by: Mariah | April 25, 2008 4:24 AM
Hi Tyra
Im am 15 years old girl turning 16 in Novemeber. I have/had this boyfriend and he hurt me so bad. After a 6 month relationship he told me that we should just be friends for a while because he is "confused" and hes not sure if I am the girl that is going to be there for him in the future. There is this other girl that he use to go out with about 3 years ago and they had lost contact so they never really broke up. Just recently they got back in contact with each other and according to her she "waited" for him. She never talked to no other guy because she knew that one day she was going to get him back. He said he knows for sure this girl will be there for him in the future because she "waited" for him. He never told me about her until one day when we had a fight. Now hes been talkng to her for about 4 months and he claims that hes not sure who he wants to be with now because we are both so perfect for him. I don't want to let him go because we shared something special and now he wants to leave me just beacause she came back into his life. I want to prove to him that I will be there. Should I continue to wait for him?
Posted by: Shana | March 27, 2008 6:17 PM
Hi Tyra
Im am 15 years old girl turning 16 in Novemeber. I have/had this boyfriend and he hurt me so bad. After a 6 month relationship he told me that we should just be friends for a while because he is "confused" and hes not sure if I am the girl that is going to be there for him in the future. There is this other girl that he use to go out with about 3 years ago and they had lost contact so they never really broke up. Just recently they got back in contact with each other and according to her she "waited" for him. She never talked to no other guy because she knew that one day she was going to get him back. He said he knows for sure this girl will be there for him in the future because she "waited" for him. He never told me about her until one day when we had a fight. Now hes been talkng to her for about 4 months and he claims that hes not sure who he wants to be with now because we are both so perfect for him. I don't want to let him go because we shared something special and now he wants to leave me just beacause she came back into his life. I want to prove to him that I will be there. Should I continue to wait for him?
Posted by: Shana | March 27, 2008 6:14 PM
hey tyra
how are you im 15 yrs old and you are my favorite person in the whole world and i was going thru some hard times my cusin/brother raped me and i wish it didnt happen because i cant get my world back ever again i wanted to be just like you when i grow up and now that wont happen. i am insecure about myself but when i saw your show on "SO WHAT" it made me realize that nobody can take it away from you for me that is kind of hard and maybe you can help me my mom is a drunk and one day we both got made at each other and now me and her dont speak now i love her but she is gonna have to change her ways if she wants to be in my life it sounds harsh but i just dont know how to deal with her anymore.so this is all i got to say but i wish one day i can really meet you in person in stead of seeing you on the tv screen thank you for listing to me and just to let you know i am your biggest fan ever you dont konw how much i would love to see you have a great day i hope we can keep in touch with one another some times. love your ultimate, yet pretty friend EVER!!!! shaquilla annette hampton
Posted by: shaquilla | March 27, 2008 12:29 PM
Hi Tyra,
my name is Heidi i am 15 years. and i go through a lot of problems at school and home =[
at school I'm getting judged! just because I'm not the perfect size, and i don't wear the perfect clothes. and i just had a big bad thing that happen to me on feb 21 i had gottin raped!. and i had told a few friends at school and it seems they turn there backs on me and been telling everyone at school and now everyone knows my personal problem. and now theres rumors going at school that i am pregnant.. it may be true and it may not be. but knowing that my own friends told every one at school is the worst! i dont really know wut to do any more cuz i have been sad. but at school i act totaly different becuase i dont want to breaking down at school. well thats my story =/
wrll tyra i love ur show and take care =]
Posted by: Heidi | March 27, 2008 12:05 PM
Hey Tyra.
Well in High School I am judged everyday. People assume because I am what they call pretty that I get all the good guys. They assume that because I am active in the school and because I make pretty good grades that my life is great. Well they're wrong. I have just as many problems as anyone else, if not more. I am 16 years old (soon to be 17) and I have bigger commitment problems than anyone else I know. I have so many problems at home that no one else sees that it's ridiculous. My parents were married for 14 years and then divorced, because my father (an abusive cheating man) got another woman pregnant after having an affair with her for 4 years. I have witnessed so many of there problems that I believe it has effected me in a way that others couldn't even begin to understand. Every time i come across a boy that i believe is cute i immiedietaly get to know him and size him up and when i say size him up i mean s decide a few things: Is he smart, Talented, and how in to me is he and how much more in to me can i make him. It never crosses my mind whether or not I like him and whether or not we have chemistry. That is the furthest thing from my mind and always has been. Now for my friends.. I am so tired of them assuming that my problems are small and that there's are more urgent than mine. I know when it comes to my best friend that she doesn't mean to but she can't help it. Since she's met me, along with my other friends, i have always put myself out there as the friend who can deal with her on problems and would much rather help her with hers. Now though this is very true sometimes I want to just ramble about my own problems. Oh and my mother. Since her divorce, which seems to feel like mine also, she's become this uncontrolable ball of emotions. For two years Tyra i've delt with her stupid boyfriend which I cant stand while he's placed her on an emotional roller coaster. She'l like a teen ager and i'm quite tired of giving her the advice that I need. WHY CAN'T I FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP ME? Tyra, I need help. I will be graduating next year and for once I would like to live life as a regular teen ager and have regular problems. Please Help Me.@
Posted by: Ashley | March 27, 2008 11:09 AM
Heyy Tyraa,
I Go Throw Judgement Everyday Mostly At School.
At School Every Eye That Glances At SomeOne Judges If The Person Is
LaughAtWorthy,
FriendWorthy,
TalkToWorthy,
Or Just SomeOne To Leave In Their Shadows.
When People Look At Me I'm Not Too Sure What They Judge Me As...
Just That Girl Over There?
Too Beautiful?Too Ugly?
Ickk, Look At Her Friends?
Oh, I Can't Talk To Her Not Popular Enough?
Ewwwuh, Look At What She Is Wearing?
What Ever They Judge Me As I Don't Really Mind, Well I Do Cos I Sometimes Care What People Think Of Me,
That's Not A Bad Thing To Care What People Think About You, Right?
I Don't Take It As Harsh As Some.
But Anyways,
What Matters Is Who I Truely Am And That I Don't Try To Fit In With People By Putting On A Mask.
xoxo
Sincerely, Devon.
Posted by: devon | March 26, 2008 3:00 PM
Dear tyra i go threw the same thing every day it's not just high school anymore it started 4 me as early as 3rd grade (thats horable) at 1st i didn't no how to dill but now it's coo but i think wst you do is so important keep it up
Posted by: Naadirah | March 26, 2008 11:20 AM
This has nothing to do with Tyra,OR her show(s)Given what has transpired in the last 72 hours with the NUTJOB,charged with stalking our beloved T.B.I'd just like to make it clear to Tyra,as well as any other person who has had,or will encounter similar difficulties with future WACKO'S.DO NOT take anything for granted,and ALWAYS be on the lookout.How many times have we seen or heard of similar instances where just when they thought the problem was taken care of.Something tragic happens.This world (unfortunately) is full of sick people who are starved for attention,and will go to any lengths to attain what they so crave.NEVER let down your guard.We don't need any more heartache than this world is so diseased with already.
Posted by: John | March 25, 2008 5:57 PM
I'm fifteen years old and I live in Ottawa, Canada. I can't pretend to understand everything, and so I won't try to. I am from a white, upper-middle class family and have led what could only be called a fairly painless, sheltered existence. And I acknowledge that. I haven't been submitted to the kind of judgment that many of these teens had to due to their race or appearance or religion, but I have strong opinions on the subjects nonetheless.
I first saw this episode of Tyra about three or four months ago,but a few weeks ago it aired again, and I realized I really had a problem with a lot of the things the kids said. Obviously the show would not have made the point it set out to make if the teenagers participating didn't say some controvercial things about race and stereotypes. But honestly, if the future of our society is represented by those ten teenagers, then I'm ashamed to be a part of it.
I'm not saying any of those participants are bad people, because I'm sure they're very far from it. In fact, some of them really impressed me with how smart and perceptive they were. In particular, I thought the thief (what was her name? She was 13 I think, black, and really cute)was amazingly articulate and intelligent for her age. I am so so so ashamed of the teens there for casting her as a thief just because she was black. That made me absolutely sick. Right off the bat she struck me as the smartest girl there. I also liked the banker (Ashley?), because she made no apologies for her choices, and nor should she have to. If she wants to have sex at 16 then that is HER CHOICE, and how dare anyone tell her she is wrong to make it? Sure she's a little young, but that has nothing to do with anyone else except her and if she felt old enough to have sex, then let her do it. I'm younger than her, and although I haven't lost my virginity yet, I have tons of friends who have, and I would never judge them for that. So props to her for admitting that and for taking the ruthless, unfair bashing she did. Also a shout-out to the gay guy for coming out in what was clearly a close-minded bunch.
The biggest problem for me were the choices made because of religion. Religion for me is a touchy subject. I am not religious myself, and I have never been to a church in my life. I feel like Americans are much more religious than us Canadians. Or much more old-fashioned in their religions, at least. I find it so annoying when people excuse their irrational opinions by saying it's because of their religion. I am completely for freedom of religion- as long as it doesn't impede on other people's freedom and rights. If you want to live your life by the Bible, or the Koran (sorry I can't spell that) or the Torah, then please go right ahead. I think it's really important to believe in something when this world is so full of crap. But don't you dare take the right to a religion but refuse others the right to their own happiness. I am so proud to be from a country that has accepted gay marriage. The US could take a page from our book in that respect. This long paragraph is pretty much to say that I was appalled that Ashley was kicked out of the town simply because she didn't practice a religion. I don't know much about Catholicism, so feel free to call me out if I'm wrong, but doesn't the Bible preach acceptance? And that should include accepting Ashley's right to believe whatever the hell she wants to believe and not be ostracized for it.
If I was in that experiment, I would have said the same thing as Ashley. I would have said that I'm not religious, and I'm perfectly happy with that. I set my own guidelines in my life, I give myself limits. I live my life for ME, not for God or whoever else. And if you're happy living your life following the directions of God, then that's fine for you. Just let me be Atheist in peace.
I realize this post was mostly about the religion aspect. I was also quite disgusted with the race stuff, but that's an age-old debate. I don't think I can bring much new to the table except that I think this proves that no matter how much we say racism is no longer an issue in today's society, it still totally is. And that's sad. I wish we could all just accept our differences, be they in race, religion, politics, sexuality, WHATEVER. I know I have. But obviously some people have trouble dealing with change, and obviously this acceptance is far, FAR away from reality. I think that is probably the greatest tragedy in the world.
And way to go Tyra for addressing this issue. Many others would have been much too scared to do something so controversial. Probably my favourite episode ever.
Whew that was long. :)
Posted by: Sarah | January 14, 2008 3:11 PM
Tyra,
I'm a 15 year old girl and I am straight but I have a comment on gay and lesbian teens, because most of my friends are bi or gay.
True love is hard to find. If a man finds it in a man or a woman finds it in a woman, I say go for it. If you find it at all, your lucky. When you do find it, cling to it and run.
Yeah, every teen has problems. I know I do. I'm ugly, overweight, and Wiccan, so trust me I have issues. But I think your Teenville episode finally opened up to adults some of the issues teens have.
Adults always think that we have no problems, but we have worse problems than adults do. If adults don't like something, they can change it. We can't, because hardly anyone important will listen to us...
SO yeah, that's all I hade to say.
♥
Posted by: Kt | January 2, 2008 1:22 PM
this episode was so interesting..i'm a 16yr.and i thought thaat this gave the adults in our life just a hint of what we actually talk about..not everything is about boys and gossiping..im christian,but i believe that gays should be who they wanna be,simply because thats the way they wanna be..as long as they can walk talk and think for themselves..i say why not?and politics..the subject adults think we dont care about..i have extremly strong feelings for this stuff..i know moe kids that talk about politics than adults do..and the subject of sex..it is on our minds..how could it not be..i mean regardless of how old we are and how fast we mature everyone has sex on their mind.not just teens.thats all i have to say for now...thanx for letting me vent a bit....
-Jennifer.
Posted by: Jennifer | January 1, 2008 3:06 AM
I WULD OF LOVED COMIN OUT IN THIS SUBJECT... WELL IM 16 N EVERYTHIN YEAH IM A TEEN BUT I KNOW WHATS UP WITH LIFE U KNOW, BUT FOR THE FACT THAT THEY PICK HER AS THE PROSTITUTE WAS NOT COOL AT ALL N IF I WULD OF CAME OUT IN IT I PROBABLY WOULD OF SAID SOMETHINGS THEY DIDNT WANT TO HEAR. N FOR THE PRESIDENT OR MAYOR OMG JUST CUZ WHITE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS PRESIDNET DOESNT MEAN A WHITE BOY HAD TO BE PRESIDENT IM SORRY BUT PEOPLE CAN CALL ME RACES OR WHAT NOT BUT WHERE I LIVE WE DONT REALLY LIKE WHITE FOLKS N I WAS LIKE TRIPPIN OUT THAT THEY HAD SAID IDK THATS JUST MY OPINION
Posted by: SHEYLA | December 12, 2007 7:04 PM
It is very interesting how teens from the US can sometimes judge people so harshly but I really like the banker, and the convenience store owner for being open about really talked about issues about teens (sex and sexuality). I also like the thief girl, she is at all not a thief - from the way she spoke. She is a very smart and articulate girl and she would be really successful to be the mayor (in my opinion, she would do a lot better job than the southern accent white teen guy. I live in the Philippines, and from my experience there is really not much issue about race but in my experience I struggle with my weight (so i can relate to the homeless person). I can understand that she can judge harshly sometimes because she is expressing her insecurity in that way. For me, I struggle with people underestimating me (because of weight issues)despite the fact of my multiple accomplishments. I wish I am in the show because I would love to comment in behalf of the asian community (I am half filipino and half chinese by the way). I can also relate to the store owner because I am gay and I can also relate to the banker because I am not a super religious person and I am not a virgin anymore, and in the asian community (especially to the conservative communities) it is like grave sin not to be religious and not to be a virgin being a teen. So i really can relate to the social experiment that the tyra show did, and i hope i would be there to participate someday.lol. It might happen despite the fact I am half the world away.
Posted by: PJ | December 8, 2007 4:36 AM
I agree with you Charlotte. GO BANKER GIRL!!!!!but I also just finish watching the show and I say that if you are gay you dont choose you are basically following your heart and same if you have someone you like and they are a different ethnicity or not the same religion .
just follow your heart and you will find happiness (simple as that)
Posted by: shannon | December 7, 2007 6:55 PM
I agree with you Charlotte. GO BANKER GIRL!!!!!but I also just finish watching the show and I say that if you are gay you dont choose you are basically following your heart and same if you have someone you like and they are a different ethnicity or not the same religion .
just follow your heart and you will find happiness (simple as that)
Posted by: shannon | December 7, 2007 6:51 PM
I just finished watching the show and all i have to say about it was i really glad i was not on the show because i would have some many problems with what some of the kids said. This really shows me what life is really like. WHt this show shows us should be a wake up call to all of young kids. I AM MAD THAT SOME OF THE KIDS DID NOT STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES, AND TO THE BANKER GIRL GOOD JOB YOU DID WONDERFUL FOR SAYING WHAT YOU BELIEVE.!!!!!
Posted by: Charlotte | December 7, 2007 6:26 PM
okay...well ...where do i begin...people now-a-days are so ignorant toward opinions...i disagree witht the exclusion of the banker because she was the only one who opened up first and shared a very personal matter, that shows that she doesnt care what people think about her and in my opinion it is only people who speak for there mind and heart that make a difference in this world not people who try to fit in and do what everyone else is doing. i thought the thief should of gotten excluded but not because of her social statues but because of her town lable. I am also very enranged with the enourmous amount of racism that still excists, i knew there was still some around but i thought people got through all this ignorism. Many people died to get an equal share and a good word was all that for nothing? well my conclusion was as well what you said..i was surprised by how little people stood up for thier belief, race, and opinion.
Posted by: Guadalupe | December 7, 2007 6:18 PM
This is my personal favorite Tyra Show episode by far. Being a teen myself, I feel as if these other teens represent the extremes of adolescent discourse. Watching this episode troubled me because there was so much conflict revolving around issues that shouldn't even matter in the United States during this time and age. Maybe my mindset is contributed by the fact that I live in the San Fransisco Bay Area, a very diverse atmophere, but I feel people shouldn't be stereotyped by their race, religion, or sexual orientation. I know at this period in our lifetime, we teens feel overly zealous when it comes to our belief systems, but these kids need to re-evaluate what they stand for and opt for a more civil way to deal with others.
Posted by: Kevin Nguyen | December 7, 2007 4:19 PM
I just finished watching the show today. I only caught the last 45 min. So i missed the first 15. But I got to see most of it. & I have a lot in common with a few of the teens that were on the show today. Im 18 years old, turning 19. I have alot in common with "The Banker". She reminds me alot of myself. I, myself, dont really have a religon either. I lost my virinity when I was younger. Im also very outspoken & outgoing. I really didnt like how she was stereotype for those things & was kicked out of the town. I also can relate to the "Store Owner". I think his name was Ethan, and he told them that he was gay. I am not gay, but I have a brother who is. And I hate it when people are so judgemental about the gay community. & Rachel "the Homeless girl", she was a very sweet girl, & I understand how she was afraid that her family would disown her, if she was to marry a person of a different race. I have went through the same things from my family. Im with a black guy right now & madly in love. We're happy. I dont see him as black. I see him as a person & the person that I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.
I saw the show & I had to post a comment on it. I loved the show. & It's what teens are going through all the time throughout the society. I hope that more teens watched this & are more open minded about anything that was shown on this show.
ThankYou.
Sincerely.
Posted by: Jennifer | December 7, 2007 4:07 PM