The Science of Love

Dr. Helen Fisher explains how chemistry (the scientific kind) plays into love.

I feel that Dr. Fisher miss the mark today. What she is explaining is called infatuation and not love there is a very big difference. There is no such things as love at first site. There can be infatuation at first site or lust at first site but not true love. As soon as society figures this out the divorce rate in this country will drop tremedously. This big misconception is why so many people think they have found their soul mate, run out and get married and within two to three years if that long are getting divorced and can't stand each other. Love is verb and requries action it is not a feeling that overcomes us. That fussy feeling, lost of appetite, sweaty palms is called infatuation (or it could be the flu)and it comes with an expiration date. Like I said love is a verb and requires effort and action by both parties. The best definition of love can be found in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)if you can get to this place in your relationship then you have a shot at something that can last a life time. When you here things like we just feel out of love or we just grew apart that was never love in the first place it was just infatuation that has passed it's expiration date.


HI TYRA!!
My name is Stephanie i am 18 years old and i am in love with your show and Top Model i watch it every week. You are one of the few people in this world that i admire i have alot to ask from you but not sure if u really read this if you do i will love to ask you a few things regarding my life and decions i want to make thank you much luv steph!

I don't buy this at all. There are parts of it that may ring true, but these types are too broad. I imagine a lot of people fall under each umbrella with wide variation among them.

The REAL way to tell if people are compatible is to go out on a few dates one that is one on one, one that is in a group of strangers and one that is around a group of familiars. I think these situations will show the persons in their true element, or at least give an honest preview into how compatible two people might be.

In addition to that, Astrology works very very well. It is kind of a supplement to actually going on dates and getting to know the person that way. It gives insight into the psychology of a person that could give people a bit more tolerance and compassion about another persons short comings as well as their own.

Tyra,

Love your show. I have been married 10.5 years and there is nothing left. He is never romantic, never makes decesions I feel like his mother not his wife. When I go somewhere or do something without him I always bring him something or do stuff for him, trying to give and take but the only thing he does for me is bring home a paycheck and a attitude problem. We have tried marriage counclers but it didn't help. I asked him if he wants to get a divorce or if he is cheating he said no to both. I really feel he doesn't love me but has to stay with me because he doesn't have no one else. I have tried to be supportive with everything he has done. But I dont get that from him. Please help need advice.

Amy

Tyra, I am 58 and love enjoy your show today. I am a member of match and get ads for chemistry .com all the time. I really wished I would of known that joining one would not give me access to both,I really would of gone with chemistry. I have been divorced for 25 yrs and would like to meet that someone special. I have emailed and tried to meet men to no avail. I dont really know how to go about dating I guess. Any sugguestions, I would at least like to talk with a man and get advise on what to do,talk about etc. And not just the hop in to bed thing either.

Hey Tyra, Girl you keep doing you..smile. I love your shows and the fact that you care and it show in both of the shows.
With that said I was watching your show today about the science of Love, My sisters and I have been wanting to find our mother a nice man to treat her right, with love,compassion you know all the things as women we desire to be treated. She is a 49 full figured lady, works everyday, and Loves her kids. She would kill me if she knew I was doing this. We want to see her happy. She will have the empty house snydrome soon. Do you think you will do another show on the Science of Love? and if you do will you keep us in mind. I think it would be perfect.

Love Ya Ty
Keep it FIERCE -

Hi Tyra,
my name is shelby kokalis, 14 years old. i live in charlotte north carolina. I watch your show everyday and americas next top model. I think you are the next Opera, but like n your own way no joke. I love you, your a great person. Please can i have tickets to your show. One about teens? i would love you forever. Thanks so much

Hi trya..I'm 23 years old and I love watching your show,I watched your show today about marriage and it made me think about me and my boyfriend..I have been going out with him for almost 2 years and I know that he is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with,I have brought up marriage to him and he just laughs..I really want him to know how much I love him and want to be with him..We do fight and argue but what couple doesn't, I need help

Tyra-

This is the first comment of the type that I've seen on this site, and I was just wondering...

How would the 'Science of Love' work for a gay relationship??

I myself am a gay man, and watched the show today and it struck me that they explained the chemical reasons for why women fall in love with their men, but... what about men who fall for other men?? Or a woman who falls for another woman??

You hear all the time about one being 'the woman' and one being 'the man', which is absurd, but I can tell where people get this misconception from the feminine/masculine gender identities that people have, but I don't know if that would really affect things in the test or not.

I consider myself to be masculine, yet I'm very generally attracted to masculine types.. such as tall, built men; and facial hair is always a plus.

So, about the whole pheromones and saliva testing that tells the seeking person about the potential mate's immune system... How exactly would that work for two people of the same sex!?

I think the idea is brilliant, but it's just got me in a loop there.

Would the same tests prove accurate results from one man to another?? Has 'Mother Nature' actually planned all of this out, with giving men attractive qualities to other men?? And what's with the whole 'gaydar' thing?? (I swear, mine's broken..)

A good idea would be a reverse situation- a straight man taking the tests for potential female mates, but just for kicks throwing a gay guy in there just to see if it would throw him off at all.

In the instance that you read this, thank you very much for sparing a part of your busy day to read a humble comment, and I'd be very pleased to hear more information on the subject on your show sometime, because this interests me deeply.

- Steph

Hi Tyra!!!I love love love both of your shows. I've always admired your character as a person, i know you hear that often, but i mean it.I hope to meet you one day, if ever i make it to New York. I can't afford it but maybe one day.KEEP MAKING DREAMS COME TRUE! Hopefully you'll see my daughter on Top Model one day. She wants to be a Super Model, it's her dream but she's only 15, maybe in 3 more years. Smooches

Hi Tyra,
I am 23 years old and I have never been in a real relationship. I am very lonely. I find myself getting angry when I see other women happy with their men. I watch your show a lot and I wanted you to know that I draw some inspiration from you and others on your show. Although I know that the reason I haven't found a good man is my fault, I wonder if there is any advice someone can give me to help me out. I am soooooo tired of being lonely.

Nicole

Hi Tyra
I started watching your show religiously just recently, and I love it. I always take something out of your show and use it to my everday life... Keep doing what your doing. I'm in love with your show!

Dear Tyra, I love your show!! i started seeing this guy over a year ago, at first i didnt want anyone to know about us, it was exciting and fun, no hes not married. we love to be with eachother as much as we can, but now i think i want more than our secret get togethers but i dont think he does, he likes it this was because of his kids they dont know about me!! should i give him up? what should i do? we tex eachother everyday and we are so excited to see eachother when we get the chance, please help!!!

Dear Tyra, I love your show!! i started seeing this guy over a year ago, at first i didnt want anyone to know about us, it was exciting and fun, no hes not married. we love to be with eachother as much as we can, but now i think i want more than our secret get togethers but i dont think he does, he likes it this was because of his kids they dont know about me!! should i give him up? what should i do? we tex eachother everyday and we are so excited to see eachother when we get the chance, please help!!!

Tyra how do you get a girl to like you.

Dear Tyra,

I am truly one of your biggest fans.I am 13 years old and I live in Ireland.I watch your show and americas next top model as often as i can but it don't be on too often over here..
I heard that you reply personally to some comments??if you do then girl you so sweet!!you have no idea how much i love you and your shows.(not to mention yo' momma lol she's my idol 2)if you could e-mail me i would just die!!I love you sooo much Tyra im crying now I love you so much.i am as obsessed with you as you are with beyoncé.

I love you

Katie

(please reply)

Hey Tyra,
Thanks so much for all your advice, you are a great person and you keep it real.
Heather V.

HEY TYRA,
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I THINK I FOUND THAT I IN A MILLION GUY..WEVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 9 YEARS AND MARRIED 6 YEARS AND ME AND MY HUSBAND FEEL WE ARE EACH OTHERS SOUL MATE...I MEET HIM WHEN I WAS 3 MONTHS PREGNANT AND GOING THROW A REALLY HARD TIME AND I FEEL HE WAS MY LAST HOPE AT LIFE AND HE SHOWED ME A LIFE WITH LOVE AND CARE...IF IT WASNT FOR MY HUSBAND I TRUELY DONT THINK I WOULD BE HERE SO I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT SOMETIME WITHOUT SCIENCE AND THE REST OF THE WORLD GETTING IN THE WAY YOU REALLY HAVE TO TRUST YOUR HEART AND WHEN YOU DO IT COULD BE THE DECSION THAT CHANGES YOUR LIFE FOREVER....

Hey Tyra,
I loved your show today, and it kinda hits close to home because of the relationship trouble im having.I am currently in a 3 yr relationship.He has been amazing,sweet,completely respectful and i know he really loves me.We have our differences but who doesn't.He sais he loves me and would someday start to think about us getting married.But i have a feeling that i might have to wait a really long time for him.We are both currently 21.I recently met a guy in one of my classes in college.He is 9 yrs older than me and is kinda the teacher.But even though he is my teacher i would never even think to take advantage of him.In fact i feel like i have to work harder to not get any special treatment. We started talking when i asked him for some advice with a personal problem.From then i have been amazed how amazing we get along.He is one of the most amazing men i have ever met.And he always makes me laugh and makes me feel like in the only person in the world.He recently told me that he that he has started to have deeper feelings for me.He said in his eyes i was perfect and that he would love the opourtunity to fall in love with me and give me the world.He also said that he never believed that he would be able to find that one person he had been looking for.I know that he is being completely sincere.I told him that about my boyfriend and he completely respects that and that as long as i am happy he will be happy too.I feel extremly lucky to have to amazing guys care about me that much and at the same time my heart is torn.I love my boyfriend but at the same time i think about how my life could be with the other guy.I know my life would be amazing either way and yet i dont know what to do.I wish there was a way to know which decision was right.Right now i dont talk to my teacher anymore because i feel its wrong to my boyfriend.But when im alone i can't help having him in the back of my thoughts.And also thinking of how happy i have been with my current relationship.I dont know what my heart really wants.

What Can I Do?

My friend Porsche wants to
have a a bay bay for her 15th birthday and I'm scared for the baby because she uses meth with my boyfriend Bill. I'M SCARED!!! She said she will throw it in the fire if I don't take it. HELP ME HELP HER!!!

I must say that the young lady named shannon that you had on your show left me inundated with adoration for the beauty she possesed. I called all my friends and told them to check out the show because I found her beauty to be... well just all together desirable. If you pass these messages on to the guests on your show I would desire for you to do so. Not trying to get get hooked up but publicly express my compliment in hopes that it reaches the one that was the inspiration for it. Ciao!!

hi Tyra i loved your show today i sometimes think that if u every was to sleep with someone that u hardly even know that u could fall in love with them after having sex on the first date and i saying it's very true it can happen.i meet my husband through a close childhood friend and had sex the week we knew each other and we got married been married for 8years now we have a wonderful 6yrs old son and i'm loving life.

love toya

HI Tyra... i always watch your
show and today i loved it so much .... i met my husband 3 years ago and when i met him he was not my type until the one day he came to work on his motorcycle and asked me out on a date that night we kissed said goodbye, and since then i have had butterflies in my stomach everytime i see him. the truth is like DR.helen fisher said we do at least 1 new thing every week. thank y0ou i will still continue watching

Hi
Tyra i love your show,ilike the way u very down to earth am from Trinudad and not many people like u
Love MARSHA

Hi
Tyra i love your show,ilike the way u very down to earth am from Trinudad and not many people like u
Love MARSHA

 

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