Diagnosing Violent Girl Syndrome
If you’re worried someone you know is suffering from Violent Girl Syndrome, compare her behavior to Dr. Gary’s list of signs.
- Irrational physical responses to emotionally charged conflict situations, usually starting with verbal taunts in the form of hurting, aggressive or demeaning personal accusations to trigger a challenge to fight.
- Anger is an overreaction, like killing an ant with an atom bomb.
- Group mentality takes over. Each girl is usually supported by her own pack of girlfriends. Often the situation is made worse by clique members who provoke and incite fighting.
- Conflicts are seldom resolved or brought to closure by “the fight.” Usually grudges are held and the conflict continues “underground.” Others can still be drawn into it at this stage. The “sides” get bigger.
- Usually the conflict focuses on personal territory (turf, things or even people seen as “mine”) and some threat to that territory by the other girl.
- The conflict can focus on a perceived challenge to a social position in a cultural hierarchy…like in the school/friends system.
- The conflicts are usually emotion based, and subjective (more about feelings than facts). She reacts to emotional insult or pain with physically or verbally aggressive behavior.
- There can also be a secondary gain to the fighting like attention seeking, social elevation, status change, etc.
- THE FINAL KEY: In these violent girl syndrome episodes there is ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY IT COULD HAVE BEEN HANDLED, but wasn’t. The repeated choice is always to fight, and in the heat of the moment anger is a thoughtless reaction based on animal instinct instead of thought or consideration.
There is a huge difference between “reacting” to a situation, and “responding” to it. Reacting just involves action based on feeling. Responding is behavior based on feeling plus THOUGHT to decide on the best way to deal with the situation. In every one of these instances we could ask what the girls would have done differently in hindsight if they had thought about it and responded, rather than reacting without consideration. Maybe that is part of the lesson that to be learned by those watching!











This girl is a liar she got me so bad that i had to move to new york she is the violentiest girl i no im sceared to even go outside anymore but im a good girl that loves you tyra so stop lieing taylor!!!!!!!!!!!!! jk im sitting next to her she is the coolest person and nicest person i no
Posted by: caleb | April 25, 2008 12:41 PM
I dont think i have this syndrome i think im the nicest person you can every talk to... but also i tell people what they dont want to hear.
i also love to watch your show i record your show all the timee!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Taylor | April 25, 2008 12:36 PM
I got in to a big fight but it was worse than amanda and Kaitlind fight. The person that i fought with was innosent and i was guilty
Posted by: Jamie | April 9, 2008 7:26 PM
tyra, i just wanted to thank you for letting me and my sister on your show for this showing.
my sister was one the girls on here for the violent girl syndrom.
i think the show helped her out for a little, but she went back to her old waysm and actually became a little worst.
Posted by: laura | April 7, 2008 10:17 AM
my sister and i were on the show for violent girl syndrom about two years ago.
i think the show helped my sister for a little vut she went back to her old self and maybe a little worst.
Posted by: laura | April 7, 2008 10:13 AM
i think this violent girl syndrom is a bunch of crap. Why are people trying to make a name for everything. And how come when males fight you dont give that a name.Or when men cheat how come we dont call it cheating syndrom. Tyra this was a good show but you need to stop putting labels on us women. If were mad or someone is doing something to us ofcourse were going tp fight back
Posted by: mary | March 30, 2008 11:12 AM
tyra
do you remember when you did the violent girl syndrom with two girls named Amber and another girl(I forgot her name). well what Amber said was true the other girl did kick first and the tape was edited!!!! please read this...if you want to see the vide go to www.youtube.com and look for girl fight and when you see the first vide click it and then when you watch it on the side to see more videos(from other people not the same person) there a video were a girl is on top of another girl.....hope you read this!!!!!
Posted by: Laura | March 25, 2008 5:47 PM
i feel that a child can be influenced by people and can also take up different attitudes because of the people aronund them.people just like to cause scenes and be something they're not.they feel like they have to pretend to be a person they know people will be proud of if they arentthe person people like already
Posted by: katie | March 24, 2008 1:42 PM
I watched the show on youtube and first I would like to say that I would not name this "violent girl syndrome". Thats an excuse for bad behavior. I think its clear that children display the type of behavior that they see at home. Amanda's mother is Amanda's problem. Her body posture, comments (verbal and non-verbal) and her tone of voice were disrespectful and aggressive. But as is the case with most bullies when confronted directly about her behavior she backed down. She was so out of line for talking to someone elses child like that! I was disgusted by her actions and felt sorry for Amanda. I was glad that Kaitlin's sister stood up for her in the audience and didn't punk down to Amanda's mother. But I felt she should have shut Amanda's mother down faster (I would have). The moment she elevated her voice and started pointing her finger at that child I would have checked her. Its clear that Amanda's problem at school is not because of this incident but is because of her mother. Her mother's attitude ruins the opportunity for Amanda to be able to show and prove to others that she is not a bully. The teachers and students at her school and people in her neighborhood expect her to be a vicious bully because of how her mother acts. I felt really sad for her, she is not the victim on the video but clearly by her mothers response to the hug and "truce" that Tyra asked the two young ladies to come to, she is a victim.
Amanda you may not know this but what you did in the end of the show put you light years ahead of your mother. Don't accept her emotional baggage as your own. Honor and respect your parents but choose to be different in areas where you see they are weak.
Now that you have been exposed to something better its your responsibility to do better.
Best of luck to both of these young girls.
Posted by: Tiffany | March 21, 2008 2:05 PM
shoot you guys are sett trippin.if someone talks trash about me of course ima lay them out.i have no sympathy for haters.and there is no such thing as a violent girl syndrome! thats BS.if youre gonna talk the talk.then you better be ready to walk the walk.
Posted by: chaslynn aumoeualogo | March 21, 2008 1:42 PM
THE BAD GIRL SYNDROME
My name is Andrea and i am only 15 years old and i have got into two fights and i think i do have a anger problem but i dont think the bad girl syndroem is true!! I go to a school with a lot of drama and the guys to. If you say something about another person and they hear what you say that person will want to fight you atomaticaly. Some girls at my school dont care if they fight or not!! It gets kind of scary sometimes when some girls or guys try to fight. There was a fight not to long ago in the girls bathroom! Yes, its true one of those girls was dripping blood like if she was abot to die and her eyes were sll red. It was very scary to see such a thing. I have also done that to a girl in sixth grade i made half of her face swell up and she was pruied for a long time. It was bad the girls mom called the cops on me. In january of this year there was a fight between me and this non-coloered chick. She pulled most of my hair out, i was not very happy with that. But know she wants to fight me again. I have taken Five classes of anger managment, it did not help me at all!! I dont call myself a violent girl. I think that every girl and guy have problems with anger all the time. We are just human! I thought of the show but i did not beleive that it was true. I dotn beleive of the illness part!!
P.S. I really enjoy your shows Tyra. They have inspired me alot. Especially the one with waight!!!!
Posted by: Andrea From Colorado | March 13, 2008 6:59 PM
Diagnosing "violent girl syndrome" ... are you kidding? This is ridiculous. Maybe your psychologist should stop being sexist and creating false syndromes. Why are women's bodies always medicalized? Why did you buy into this Tyra, this is not empowering for young women. This tells them there is something wrong with them, its not them, its how they're socialized. Look to the social agents in society, particularly the school. Sigh. Tyra, this was a questionable show, perhaps your message could have come across better if you didnt focus on the girls and highlighted the real problem, society in general.
Posted by: Jen | March 12, 2008 9:35 PM
Tyra, there is no violent girl syndrome, it's just a sexist term to put women down. Do boys have a "violent boy syndrome" when they are aggressive? Women are not allowed to show their aggression or anger in public, as it is seen as masculine and unlady-like. Girls who show their aggression or emotions through anger do not have a "syndrome" Tyra, they are just expressing themselves in the same way that boys do when they fight. Women do not have a syndrome when they "act" out of what is socially acceptable.
Posted by: Nicky | March 12, 2008 2:47 PM
Tyra, there is no violent girl syndrome, it's just a sexist term to put women down. Do boys have a "violent boy syndrome" when they are aggressive? Women are not allowed to show their aggression or anger in public, as it is seen as masculine and unlady-like. Girls who show their aggression or emotions through anger do not have a "syndrome" Tyra, they are just expressing themselves in the same way that boys do when they fight. Women do not have a syndrome when they "act" out of what is socially acceptable.
Posted by: Nicky | March 12, 2008 2:42 PM
I go to school with a lot of girls with "VIOLENT GIRL SYNDROME" I think it is just a way to make sure girls are not being bulled or picked on. it also mostly starts with peer pressure. i hope we can find some way to figure this out!!
Posted by: mercedes | March 12, 2008 1:26 PM
Tyra, this is NOT an "epidemic," as you say, unless you know another definition of the word.
PS: you are fat.
Posted by: s. | March 5, 2008 7:09 PM
"Violent Girl Syndrome" is not a real illness, and it should not be a tool used by an otherwise unsuccessful psychologist to make him money or bring esteem. There is no evidence of this as a real disorder. It is kind of amusing to see how many women and girls saw your show and now think there is something wrong with them, or someone they know. I urge your viewers to research this so they realize how ridiculous it is. And if you are interested, look up "oppositional defiant disorder," and "conduct disorder." At least there is something somewhat tangible there.
Posted by: sara | March 5, 2008 10:27 AM
This sounds as credible as restless leg syndrome. Does its treatment lead to erectile dysfunction and nausea as well?
Posted by: liz | March 5, 2008 10:13 AM
This sounds as credible as restless leg syndrome. Does its treatment lead to erectile dysfunction and nausea as well?
Posted by: liz | March 5, 2008 10:11 AM
This sounds as credible as restless leg syndrome. Does its treatment lead to erectile dysfunction and nausea as well?
Posted by: liz | March 5, 2008 10:08 AM
i think i have this syndrome im always angry and i am always fighting and screaming and i cant control my anger i have already been arrested and i am only 14 please help me before this gets out of hand. DO I HAVE VOILENT GIRL SYNDROME...Iyanna
Posted by: Iyanna | March 5, 2008 10:03 AM
ok so i think i might have this violent girl syndrome... what do i do... i need to fix it before it gets out of hand!!
Posted by: yuliya | March 2, 2008 6:54 PM
This sounds reminiscent of a book I just started reading. It's called Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons.
Even after only having read the introduction to the book, I highly recommend it.
I've noticed, as did the author of the book, that aggression in boys is much more openly talked about in our society. Not only that, but the type of aggression that girls are often forced to express due to societal constraints, is usually NEVER talked about. Either that, or it's ignored completely.
I think it would be a good idea for a show topic. How our society restricts girls to being 'nice' and 'friendly', and makes it socially unacceptable for them to express anger in healthy ways. To talk about why girls have to go underground, so to speak, and resort to emotional warfare with each other.
Posted by: Sarah | March 1, 2008 1:12 PM
i think i have this ... i love to fight and be mean to every body . girls and boys . i love to show people im the boss
Posted by: ashlie | February 29, 2008 11:30 AM
WHEN I WATCHED THIS SHOW IT REMINDED ME OF MYSELF. I BEGAN TO THINK I HAD ANGRY GIRL SYNDROME.BUT WHEN I LOOKED IT UP I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING ON IT. BUT I KNOW I HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM, AND I REALLY WANT TO GET HELP. AT TIMES I TEND TO GET MAD T ANYTHING AND JUST SNAP. I USUALLY TAKE IT OUT ON WHOEVER IS CLOSEST TO ME. I GOT IN A FIGHT ONE TIME AND ALMOST CHOKED A GIRL TO DEATH. BUT UNLIKE THE REST OF THE GIRLS WHO WERE ON THE SHOW I KNOW I HAVE A TEMPER PROBLEM, I KNOW I NEED TO SEEK HELP AND MOST OF ALL I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY OWN ACTIONS.
Posted by: SHONDA | February 28, 2008 10:48 PM