Diagnosing Violent Girl Syndrome

If you’re worried someone you know is suffering from Violent Girl Syndrome, compare her behavior to Dr. Gary’s list of signs.

- Irrational physical responses to emotionally charged conflict situations, usually starting with verbal taunts in the form of hurting, aggressive or demeaning personal accusations to trigger a challenge to fight.

- Anger is an overreaction, like killing an ant with an atom bomb.

- Group mentality takes over. Each girl is usually supported by her own pack of girlfriends. Often the situation is made worse by clique members who provoke and incite fighting.

- Conflicts are seldom resolved or brought to closure by “the fight.” Usually grudges are held and the conflict continues “underground.” Others can still be drawn into it at this stage. The “sides” get bigger.

- Usually the conflict focuses on personal territory (turf, things or even people seen as “mine”) and some threat to that territory by the other girl.

- The conflict can focus on a perceived challenge to a social position in a cultural hierarchy…like in the school/friends system.

- The conflicts are usually emotion based, and subjective (more about feelings than facts). She reacts to emotional insult or pain with physically or verbally aggressive behavior.

- There can also be a secondary gain to the fighting like attention seeking, social elevation, status change, etc.

- THE FINAL KEY: In these violent girl syndrome episodes there is ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY IT COULD HAVE BEEN HANDLED, but wasn’t. The repeated choice is always to fight, and in the heat of the moment anger is a thoughtless reaction based on animal instinct instead of thought or consideration.

There is a huge difference between “reacting” to a situation, and “responding” to it. Reacting just involves action based on feeling. Responding is behavior based on feeling plus THOUGHT to decide on the best way to deal with the situation. In every one of these instances we could ask what the girls would have done differently in hindsight if they had thought about it and responded, rather than reacting without consideration. Maybe that is part of the lesson that to be learned by those watching!

Comments

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I HAVE A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD WHO EXPLODES AT EVERY LITTLE THING THAT DOESN'T GO HER WAY. SHE DOESN'T HIT YET BUT SHE DOES SCREAM AT ME & HER TWO YOUNGER SISTERS. SHE CALLS US NAMES THREATENS TO RUN AWAY & HAS MAJOR TEMPER TANTRUMS. HOW DO I KNOW THAT THIS IS SOME SYNDROME OR IS SHE ONLY BEING A TIPICAL TEEN?

Tyra you are a shallow get use to it. When men fight or boys fight it is OK?????? We dont need a Syndrome because women fight. Give me a break. There is real stuff out there. FIND IT and show the world. RATINGS arent everything.

Tyra I have two neices that fights all the time .Thay can not live in the same house.Thay fight so bad that one had to get stitchs,the other had a black eye.But it dose not stop at home.One got kicked out of school becuse she slamed a girls face into a locker.Thay are my sisters girls,she died about a year ago. My mom has the 17year old . Becuse her 19 year old sister lives with her dad. The 17 year old loves the bad girls club.The part she loves the most is when thay fight.I have all boys and never had a fight.Girls now days are so mean and alot tuffer.Help i love my neices i can't stand to hear about the fighting. Thay are sisters thier should be nothing but love.I wish i had my sisters.I had four sister, now there are just two of us.I do know how much sister love each other.It is a never ending love.I want my neices to have that too.

Are you kidding me?
Why do we have to have a syndrome for everything? Why is it, that when men fight we don't call it Violent Boy Syndrome? Or, how about, Cheaters Syndrome?
It's human instinct to push back when pushed, but just because some women push back doesn't mean they are going to get a prison shank and attack people at McDonalds.

Parents are just looking for more reasons to medicate their children.

"Violent girl syndrome"? Bull. Sounds like another excuse to explain away today's young people's bad behavior (and not a good excuse at that). Girls involved in serious beat downs is nothing new. The only difference between when I was young and now is that there was no Internet or YouTube in my day.

I think this is ludaris. What in the world has gotten into ppl that they think there is something wrong with everything. Its not enough they label everyone with bi polar disorder, but now we have gone so low as to Violent Girl Syndrome???... None of you have it so get over it. Quit blaming everything u do on something that DOESNT exsist!!!... Everyone gets mad!!! ppl are not going to get along with everyone. Females are freakin DRAMA QUEENS anyway, and this is just proof of it. hypochondriacts! Have u ppl ever thought for one minute that the only reason alotta ppl have the "mental conditions" they have are because of Doctors saying it exsists... if ur seeing things and hearing things i could be a lil more understanding... but throwing a freakin mental condition out there because ppl havent had their arses kicked like they should have had growing up, is just pathetic... u wanna know the cure to ur pathetic syndrome... bring belts and whipping and god back into the schools and family lives!!!!!! try that on for size!!!! Trying raising ur kid instead of letting them raise themselves and run the parents and adults around!!!!... no that would be too much work for u wouldnt it!!! oh lordy im angry must be my Violent girl syndrome kicking in!!! maybe i should go take a pill or get disability for it!... get a grip on reality ppl and quit looking for a reason other than urselves as to y u have problems!... half of u would freakin bawl like babies to hear the bull ive been through in my life, and yet im still sitting here telling u to get a grip... grow up!!!

violent girl syndrome is crap first off it implies that any girl that dose not have it is some kind of dainty little flower and two girls have been getting into fights with each other for as long as humans have been on this planet and the only reason that people are making a big deal about it is because of two reasons 1 it is being blasted all over the Internet and TV and 2 because of the stereotype that girls passive they guy there are just as many girl fights as their was before the only difference is that it is being seen more because of websites like you tube it gives them their 15 minets of fame

Fist off...this is an epidemic I do believe. It's not CUTE, nor is it LADY like. Guys are already fighting and killing e/o off. We dont need FEMALES doing it too. This is a very sensitive topis for me bcuz my whole MOTHERS side of the family is like this. They fight e/o ALL the time. Callin e/o b**'s and Hoes. Even fighting w/ their own MOTHER. N yet they ALL always around e/o. It's somwthing i'm trying to avoid it. =/

i am watching this show and reading this, and i think that this is ridiculas, these girls just want to create drama, and want to see drama, not only that but it isn't even real fighting, it is "cat fighting" so to speak, they have no intent to do any MAJOR damage to the opponent.

I think that this is an epidemic...regardless of what other people have said. I think girls are becoming more and more violent these days and people are getting way out of control. Call it what you want but there is a huge problem with girls getting into altercations lately.
I'm fifteen and I got suspended this year because a girl poured propel over my head and I pushed her and we got into a fight.
I do not believe I have this because this was a one time thing and I know I'm not a violent person. But if someone did that to you...what would your reaction be?
It was basically because of the same thing between amanda and kaitlind... The other girl had thought I said something about her that was bad but someone twisted what I said and told her.
I did apologize because me and her have had problems for five years. She's been fixated on me for that long and it's just become insane.
Someone told her that I didn't mean my apology and she poured propel over my head at lunch.
That was the worst thing to ever happen to me. I'm glad you did this topic because it brought me to tears cause I could totally relate.

I think your show is awsome and keep up with the good work.

vgs is crap...if anyone had it that would mean every girl would have it

I believe this is a fancy way at aiming borderline personality syndrome at women... I'm not saying this is a fake issue, but merely a rewording of an already existing social problem. It was good to bring up a rising social issue, but this does happen to males as well; stereotypically even more so than females (i.e. spousal abuse, etc.). My opinion is it is sexist to say Violent Girl Syndrome because it singles out females as it implies that it’s socially acceptable for males to have such a syndrome.

Tyra, did you make this up? I googled violent girl syndrome and the only things that came up were things relating to you. It sounds pretty fake too. All I'm saying is that it doesn't look good when you make up a disorder and make people think there's is something wrong with them. Being violent is human nature. Some are just more violent then others.

warming Fight to global

warming Fight to global

I wish to address the show with Katy and her "friend" on YOu Tube. I want to know who was holding the camera. It seems to me that these girls staged a conflict to get on You Tube. Being on Tyra's show and having their mothers square off was just icing on the cake. They wanted fame and they got it. Good for you Tyra

Tyra-
I love your show and I wanted to let you know what "violent girl syndrome" feels like on the inside. It hurts. I know I have it because every time I get frustrated or angry at someone I always picture punching them or taking a weapon against them. I have an extremely aggressive attitude against some people and I try to control my thoughts the best I can. Sometimes, just to muffle it out, I go to pray. When people say "calm down" or "be reasonable" to me it makes me want to say "Calm down? Calm down?!?! You don't know how I feel and I just can't calm down!!!" Some people say girls can hold grudges for a long time. It's true for any normal girl, but for a girl with "violent girl syndrome", even after it's resolved they will still hold that grudge. If there were plain and simple techniques to resolve the anger that builds up inside me, like taking a pill or counting to 100, I would do it. Every time I get angry at someone who is suppose to be my friend, I want to cry because I know that my anger will not be resolved. I've tried talking out the differences as well and each time I try, it still doesn't get resolved. Each time it seems that the intensify the thing that made me angry in the first place, and without even realizing it. The anger that gets built up wants to come out some how and each time I won't release it like I want to release it, it makes me even angrier. Sometimes I go to the shooting range and take it out, but it's still there. As I said, if there was a pill or a technique to do when I got angry to get myself to go on normally with the person, I would do it. I would even go see a therapist if I could afford it. I just don't know what to do.

There is no such thing as violent girl syndrom. It's called anger problems and people need to learn how to freaking control it. Grow up and take responsibility for your own actions people.

tyra i had always liked your show, but as many has pointed out this "syndrome" is not an epidemic... because it simply does not exist... maybe you should take a psychology course or two to know the effort and hard research that people go through for yeeeears to come up with a sound diagnosis. This however is not a diagnosis. if you are going to make up a term maybe you should at least use the correct terminology like female instead of girl. Extremely disappointed that u did a show on anger and aggression and did not use the correct medical terms (example: conduct disorder) which is a DSM IV diagnosis... do some research on that

tyra i had always liked your show, but as many has pointed out this "syndrome" is not an epidemic... because it simply does not exist... maybe you should take a psychology course or two to know the effort and hard research that people go through for yeeeears to come up with a sound diagnosis. This however is not a diagnosis. if you are going to make up a term maybe you should at least use the correct terminology like female instead of girl.

I think i may have this. I fight with my boyfriend all the time mostly about nothing. It is messing up our relationship and I really dont want to loose him. When we fight i always hit him and say mean things to him. I say that i hate him and other mean things. Sometimes when i fight with my boyfriend i kinda go behind a wall ( so to speak) I dont listen to what he says. I dont know how i can get help for this but i need help. I could loose him. thanks

 

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