How to Help A Friend with An Eating Disorder
Jessica Weiner, motivational speaker and author of, “Do I Look Fat In This?” offers advice for helping a friend who may suffer with an eating disorder. The best way to help is to realize that eating disorders are not about food, fat or weight. They are about emotions, experiences, and feelings. Deep feelings. Intense emotions. And many of those feelings and emotions may not make sense to an outsider - so it is important to practice compassion and ACTION.
Eating disorders are a SERIOUS mental health issue that can be treated. You have to look for warning signs:
• Withdrawn from others.
• Focus on food, exercise, weight, and/or calories.
• Compulsive behavior, isolation, or moodiness.
• A drastic drop or rise in weight. (allthough you can't always tell just by looking on the outside whether someone is sick)
If your friend suffers with an eating disorder, take action immediately. Call a professional, go to www.nationaleatingdisorders.org, talk to a teacher, counselor or parent. Speak up and don't be afraid if your friend or loved one gets mad at you. This is a disease that kills. Also, as a friend, walk your talk. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and not putting yourself down or becoming pre-occupied with your own weight or body. You must lead by a loving example. And friends and loved ones don't have to do it alone. There is help out there for families and those suffering.
Also, remember that eating disorders are not 'logical,' and they are not cured by just telling someone to 'eat' or to 'love themselves.' Eating Disorders are treatable through recovery programs such as in patient hospitals, out-patient programs, support groups, and individual therapy. There are many different kinds of treatment and everyone deserves to find the path that works for them. Recovery is like taking 10 steps forward and 5 steps back every day. It isn't quick. It isn't easy. But it is worth it.
For more information on Jessica Weiner, and body image issues, visit www.jessicaweiner.com
Comments
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Posted by: login | December 31, 2008 4:56 AM
hey tyra, my name is sasha and i do not have an eating disorder. the problem is i look like i have one. i know you probably never hear anyone say they need to gain weight but i seriously do. im 5 feet 4 inches and weigh 85 pounds. i just keep losing weight and i dont know why. my doctor says there is nothing wrong with me. i began to notice how small i was as a teenager. i felt all the other girls looked much better than me because they actually had a shape. i began to lose self esteem but i never let anyone know. i pretended like my weight didn't bother me. i cry almost every day. i wont wear skirts, shorts, bikinis or anything that will show off my legs because i know i look bad. when people call me anorexic my heart breaks. i didn't ask to be this size and i dont want to be. i'd rather be fat. no matter what i do i cant gain even 1 pound. it upset me when i see girls who look perfect and complain that they are too fat. i'd switch bodies with them any day. im not asking for help i just want someone to understand where im coming from or is im the only one out here who has this problem?
Posted by: sasha | December 22, 2008 12:25 PM
Hey Trya,i say this like i know you, but i don't. I do know that you care about others and this is why i'm writting. My name is deborah an am the mother of the above. We need you to help us continue to be as active as we are now in our church and our comminuity. We both are over weight an are in need of moral and finical help. We have a family of 8 with very little income, i'm recieving disabilty and my daughter is a student, all other ages range from 1-16. My daugther is having the most problems with walking, back, pain in hers arms etc. She is in need of a special shoe that begin from 400.00 each and up. She's going to culinary school an will graduate Jan. 31 2009. Her dream is to own her own restraunt someday. Can you help?
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HI TYRA,
I know you get many other messages of girls with eating disorders,and you may not get to read this but its worth a shot.My names Cheyanne Young and I am 14 years old and I have been dealing with anorexia nervosa for two years now and it has completely stripped me of my once happy life.I used to b an energetic,loving girl, and now I am nothing but ED. It all started with a simple nutrition assignment and spiraled into something far worse.I have always been really self conscious of my body, at the time being 5ft 3in and wieghing 115lb and I saw this as the time for me to lose wieght.So I officially started my diet when I got to my grandmas.I would not eat meat,sweets,dairy,or breads and I counted every calorie that entered my mouth.Plus I would exercise excessively and get books about losing wieght.I also began cooking for my relatives but not eating any of it, and it soon turned into going days without eating.It turned real bad very quickly.I began blacking out and had no energy,but I(ED) liked the feeling. By the time I leftthree weeks later I had dropped 16lbs and wieghed 99lbs.My parents were shocked of my appearence and they immediately set up a doctors appointment.That was when I was first sent to the hospital at 85lb.After being released it just got worse and I was sent back to more times.My parents knew I needed some serious help so they sent me to The Center for Discovery in CA.(at the time we had great insurance that covered the whole stay) but I was not willing to accept the treatment when I went,so I got no better there.Things just got even worse. I now will do anything not to eat.I've hid food anywhere you can think of have stored it in my mouth and spit it after I was done,hid it on my body,and in my underwear(i'm sorry).I have also verbally abused my mom with every name in the book because I feel she is evil for giving me food.Plus I have thrown food everywhere, screamed, and had fits. Plus whenever I get mad I yank my hair out, scratch my arms, and have even cut myself a few times.I used to have a great relationship with my parents and now I have no relationship with them at all.I only have the relationship with my eating disorder.Now all I do is look at myself in the mirror and want to die.I see a fat,ugly girl who does not deserve life or happiness.I dont see the frail, 78lb body that everyone else see.I know know that going back to The Center for Discovery is my last chance at getting my life back but my family doesnt have the money for our insurance was switched and they will only cover 80% which leaves us $13,500 dollars short and I was wondering if you could answer my prayers and give me the money so I can go and get the help I need.I feel really guilty asking for it but I just want to get better, but that will not happen at home.I do not want to be another anorexia statistic.I want to return to my old self and want my family to want to be around me.This is not only ruining my life but it is ruining there's,and they dont deserve that.So please Tyra,HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!, be my angel and send me the money I need to get help.God bless you for helping all you have and I hope you can help me.You are a true miracle worker of god.
Love,
Cheyanne Young
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Posted by: | May 12, 2008 2:34 AM
Hey Tyra,
I don't think that i have an eating disorder but sometimes it's in my head and it really scares me. Im 16 years old and weigh about 122right now, i have recently dropped about 55 pounds. I used to be about 185. I lost all this weight in about 4 months. I'm gonna be honest here sometimes when i look on the mirror i think i look OK, but then other times i think i look gross and i start to cry because i think to myself why do i have to look like that. I have two other sisters and their both really skinny and i always ask myself why did i have to be the fat one. Im looking to lose about 21 more pounds because i eventually want to be at 105. It's really tough though because people at school claim that im anorexic or bulimic. I always tell them im just eating healthier and exercising but they don't believe me because i have dropped so much weight so fast i look completely different. I used to consistently exercise everyday for about an 1hour 15min, but lately i've stopped but i don't really care bacause im still losing weight. It's not that i don't want to it's just ive been to tired to lately. Anyways i just wanted to ask if you think that i have a disorder because of how fast i lost this weight and if u think that 105 is extreme for me because of how i used to be (at 185). I'm really petite though in size that's why im wondering if 105 is appropiate. My mom took me to the doctor a while ago because my hair started falling out and she was scared, but my doctor really pissed me off because she kept reffering to me being sick. She didn't tell me that but i could tell it's what she meant. Anyways hope to be at 105 really quick. I love you and your show, and i think it's amzing that you help people.
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