I must say i'm so happy i found this post. My boyfriend/fiance broke up with me this past thursday... i feel like "blah" bad thing is that i know i'm young (only 18 and he is 19) but we had been offically together for about 7 months...but we knew each other and dated for more than a year... he was my best friend and i was his... and getting over him has been so hard...
but now reading these stages... i may get over him a little more better... but it still hard...so hard...

but i'll give it my best!

Dear Tyra,

First i wanna say THANK YOU for posting the stages of a breakup, and to the people who have commented on it. Im 17 and my boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago, and I can relate so much to all of the girls posting on here. He was my first real boyfriend and my first love. We were only together for 5 months but it seemed like a lifetime because we were so in love. Unfortunately, he fell out of love and I didnt, and im going through those stages right now and it honestly is the most painful thing I've ever felt. I cant sleep at night so I take sleeping pills, I feel so empty and sad and alone. Theres not much that can make me happy these days and it honestly feels like im gonna be hurt forever. Its just so incredibly painful to lose someone who i felt so perfect with. People tell me Im too young to know what love is and that I should just "let it go". But I know that I loved him and still do because I now know what it means to have a broken heart.. and apparently Im not too young to have my heart broken. Reading these peoples stories is comforting cause I know im not alone in this, and the stages give me hope because If other people can move on from a broken heart, that means I can too right? .. Anyway, I just want to say thanks again, you made me smile for the first time in what seems like forever. Thankyou =)

It's Hard getting over someone that you love but i want to thank you for this article it was very helpful because it help me understand what i'm going through i just recently got out of a three year relationship with my lover and she was 11 years older then me and she taught me alot within those three year and there was nothing i want do for her but when we broke up it hurt and i went through all the eight stage and still going through it very diffuclt to get over someone you love but you just let life take it's cousre, yes i lose sleep and i cried and my weight lose is crazy but i still have a life and need to move on it's not that easy as it sound but you can do it

junker greediness toothpaste manipulators mutableness poll compulsive!Binghamton buses

tyra im olny 16 but the guy i was with for 2 an a half years lived with me the whole 2 years we became very close an then he started dating one of mi friends an i kicked him out then he came be to live with me after only 2 weeks now he stays in very close contact with her i dont mind its jus that they both lied to me for 2 months about datin each other i cant believe no one now he lives back wit his mother an this has all happened in a months time but he stays here sometimes but also stays with her your stages are great i just need more than that im still in the denial stage it doesnt seem like we ever broke up when he stays here its like old times nothing has changed nothing at all but is hurts so bad when he is with her cuz i dont know if i can believe him on what they are doing.

Tyra,

I love you for being so inspirational to me.

Here is my love story: I am 26 and I've being dating this guy for a little over a year. Before we began dating we were friends we used to work together. We hook up and half way into the relationship I found out he was married. Of course I dumped him, however we were back together at month later. He began he divorced with his wife b/c he wanted to be with me. He begged to get back with me, and he kissed the ground I walked on. Everything was fine up until two weeks ago. His uncle got into a car accident in Georgia and he rush down to see him. We are from South Carolina by the way..I spoke with him the day he left and I have not heard anything else from him. The only reason I know he is alive it b/c I'm close with one of his aunts. He has not tried to contact me in any type of way. His aunt did say that he will be back here this week but she does not think that it is permanent and that he coming to talk to me. I am afraid b/c I do not what he is going to say. I have been through hell and high waters with him for him to do me like this. Should I still linger on hope Tyra or just let it go?

PS: I love him with all my heart!!

I've had my first heartbroken. Most dumb part; I guess people would say or think. He was from online. I loved him though and I thought I would never love anyone like I did for him. We broke up because my lack of trust for him, accussing him. We would blame ourself for all the mistakes. I never thought he would leave because I believed every promised he said to me. I believed every words, but I guess he just knows all the right words to say, what a girl wants to hear. I hated him for having me fall and never picking me up in the end. He flirts and I get jealous, acting as if were still together. He did the same sometimes and now I'm on stage 7; It took me 9 months to get to that. We broke up on December 1 now its August 29. I still care about him and I still get jealous at times. I try to repeat myself over and over again "Love is never jealousy" but its hard, if you know what I've been through for him. I've changed; now I don't even know if I'll be able to get myself back. I'm so insecure and paranoid and scared. I have anger for him that I just want to throw it all on his face, but I know it won't do me no good, because nothing will change and that I'll just be wasting my time and emotions on guys like him. I finally accepted how he is and nothing is gonna change that. I love him and I'll always be there for him. It was a great and painful experience, but I don't regret it. I just miss the old days and somehow deep inside, even if I tell myself over and over again that I'm over him. I wish he can come back and we can work it out; if hes willing to change. Because he was also my best friend, he's seen me in every mood I've been, my ups and downs. He appreciated me and also accepted me. But yet, thats how players are, right ? They'd do anything to be with a girl. I feel like he played with my emotions and left me stranded. But everything happens for a reason, I'm just wondering what will happen to me next.

I've had my first heartbroken. Most dumb part; I guess people would say or think. He was from online. I loved him though and I thought I would never love anyone like I did for him. We broke up because my lack of trust for him, accussing him. We would blame ourself for all the mistakes. I never thought he would leave because I believed every promised he said to me. I believed every words, but I guess he just knows all the right words to say, what a girl wants to hear. I hated him for having me fall and never picking me up in the end. He flirts and I get jealous, acting as if were still together. He did the same sometimes and now I'm on stage 7; It took me 9 months to get to that. We broke up on December 1 now its August 29. I still care about him and I still get jealous at times. I try to repeat myself over and over again "Love is never jealousy" but its hard, if you know what I've been through for him. I've changed; now I don't even know if I'll be able to get myself back. I'm so insecure and paranoid and scared. I have anger for him that I just want to throw it all on his face, but I know it won't do me no good, because nothing will change and that I'll just be wasting my time and emotions on guys like him. I finally accepted how he is and nothing is gonna change that. I love him and I'll always be there for him. It was a great and painful experience, but I don't regret it. I just miss the old days and somehow deep inside, even if I tell myself over and over again that I'm over him. I wish he can come back and we can work it out; if hes willing to change. Because he was also my best friend, he's seen me in every mood I've been, my ups and downs. He appreciated me and also accepted me. But yet, thats how players are, right ? They'd do anything to be with a girl. I feel like he played with my emotions and left me stranded. But everything happens for a reason, I'm just wondering what will happen to me next.

Hello,
It seems that everyone has a broken heart.. I geuss I'm another one added to the list. My boyfriend and I had a relationship for two wonderful years. He was my first. My first love, my first real date, my first guy to give me flowers, my first everything. He broke up with me about 4 months ago and I can't find it in myself to let him go. They say your first love is always the hardest, but I don't believe I will ever stop loving him. I'm only sixteen and they say I'm too young to know what love is, but if that's true why do I hurt so much? You think it would be easier to get over him by the way he treats me, but it really doesn't. It just hurts me even more. He acts like he hates me, so I asked him why and he responded "I don't care enough bout you to hate you." I can understand if I cheated or did something to make him feel this way, but I honestly did not. I just wish I could make myself forget. Love is not worth all of this pain and I don't know if I will ever trust anyone again.

Tyra,

Me and my ex broke up about 3-4 months ago...and as much as i smile, and laugh, my current boyfriend now can still see that it hurts, and he seems like he don't know wat to do and i don't know wat to do? i was with my ex for a lil over a year... and i loved him so much...he broke up with me wen i was having problems in school...guys were messing with me touching me and he didn't go to my school so there was nothing he could do about it... but these guys refused to back off and i kept on telling my ex wat was going on at that time... but instead of helping me...he made matters worse by ignoreing the problem, wen ever me and him would go out in public together guys would shout stuff at me... and he would get so pissed off wen he saw it... but even wen my best friend told him wat was going on he chose to back out of the relationship instead of helping, i don't know wat to do? i still love him...i read the stages and i already have made it through a few of them... but how come i'm still so depressed i smile, i laugh, but all my friends can still see its fake... i'm happy with my new boyfriend but its hard for me to trust guys again. i basically built a brick wall around my heart, wen ever i'm around guys my gaurd goes up even with my boyfriend he notices but never says anything about it... how do i stop the pain its been months and i still feel empty, i'm still scared of being hurt, of putting my gaurd down and relaxing...what do i do?

This was the dumbest thing I have ever done.. I was dating this guy and I was in love with him I never felt like this about someone before.. He had cheated on me 3 times but i still went back! Then I relized what I had done to myself and let him go its been a year we were broken up.. It was going to be a year if we were still together.. But i finally got over him...Just now and it was hard but I did it.. but now I kinda still put up a wall I dont know why? You think you can answer that question...

I've been broken up with my ex over a year ago and i am still not over him. he has moved on and i feel like a fool still wanting to be together. really it's for my 10 month old son we have together.he was not right for me. he was abusive, tried to sleep with my sister and broke other woman inmy house while i was at work. anyone who thinks they have it bad, just look at my story.he wasn't like this in the beginning, and that'sall i keep thinking about. i know i need to move on, because he is no good for me and he is also a deadbeat dad.

HI TYRA,
my boyfriend of 3years dumped me via sms in the morning.i feel very depressed because i didnt believe it.it was just out of the blues.we'v bin having a long distance relationship for the past 1year and it was a really blow off for me because everything seemed to be going on well.I was so angry that i told him never call me again since i dont believe in exe's being just friends.

Tyra, this is absolutely right. I'm 18 and only have had one boyfriend. His name was Joe, we went out for 2 years i thought he was the one, his family loved me and i got along very well with his sister. I thought we had it all. Slowly he started changing, he didn't hold my hand, did't want to kiss me, and stopped calling me or didn't answer my calls. I knew somthing was up. I believe that we were meant to be together and after a while of me trying to make things right again, he told me that he wanted to meet other people. that broke me apart, i felt all those 8 stages. and yes, intuition is real, 2 weeks after we broke up he was already with another girl, which means he was talking to her a little before we broke up. To all you girls trust your intuition, it's real!

Whussssssuh' Tyra,

I was with this boy for a year and a half. I was 15 when we first met and he was 15. We're now 16 but he turns 17 in 3 days. We broke up like a month aqo. Well dat's when we started talkinq aqain. He was my first love. We stopped talkinq for 3 months because he was just takinq advantaqe of me. He cheated, lied, and immature around his friends. He is now with dis qirl I qrew up with and we even used to call eachother cousin. Man dat really is hurtinq me. It's been hurtinq me for about 8 months since I found out he cheated on me with her. Danq that's almost our whole relationship. I'm stuck at staqe 5 & 6. And need help. Thanks!

Whussssssuh' Tyra,

I was with this boy for a year and a half. I was 15 when we first met and he was 15. We're now 16 but he turns 17 in 3 days. We broke up like a month aqo. Well dat's when we started talkinq aqain. He was my first love. We stopped talkinq for 3 months because he was just takinq advantaqe of me. He cheated, lied, and immature around his friends. He is now with dis qirl I qrew up with and we even used to call eachother cousin. Man dat really is hurtinq me. It's been hurtinq me for about 8 months since I found out he cheated on me with her. Danq that's almost our whole relationship. I'm stuck at staqe 5 & 6. And need help. Thanks!

Whussssssuh' Tyra,

I was with this boy for a year and a half. I was 15 when we first met and he was 15. We're now 16 but he turns 17 in 3 days. We broke up like a month aqo. Well dat's when we started talkinq aqain. He was my first love. We stopped talkinq for 3 months because he was just takinq advantaqe of me. He cheated, lied, and immature around his friends. He is now with dis qirl I qrew up with and we even used to call eachother cousin. Man dat really is hurtinq me. It's been hurtinq me for about 8 months since I found out he cheated on me with her. Danq that's almost our whole relationship. I'm stuck at staqe 5 & 6. And need help. Thanks!

i met this guy i wont say his name but they call him jdot we were dating for about 5 months and i was in love with him we had a very good realationship im 16 years old and a heart broken teen he is 16 about to be 17 in 12-1-07 or somthing like that but were broke up now i begged for him and he screamed over and over were done itz over!!!! telling everybody i wasnt nothing but a dumb B****!he was suppose to be the love of my life nothing can explain the pain im going through right now but i wish girls didnt have to go through this lieing cheating they tell us they love us but when there sick of you they leave you and is your worst nightmare!i love you tyra your show gives me the only smile a day im trying to get over it ,Melissa

I've been stucked at the anger stage for almost 6 months. Revenge seems to be sweeter each time i think of it.

dear tyra,

wow. this is right on the dot. my boyfriend just broke up with me like yesterday and i swear i am in the depression stage right now but i am moving on to the seventh stage. are the stages suppose to go so quick? but anyways. i was dating him for seven months. and i felt so attracted to him. then he cheated on me. stupid me, i couldnt let him go but i knew that i couldnt trust him that much. just to let you know i am 14. i know it is young and it is like "what the heck he cheated on you??" but ya he is my age to. and the sad part is that (parden my language) but she was a super slut. but ya. and now that i look back on it i am probably better of without him because he had some problems and i have them too. he has also done some bad things so in a way i am glad that we are over and that i hurt even though i know he wouldnt hurt me ( i dont think) but hey it is summer and i get to flirt with other guys and not have to worry about being ashamed or feeling that i was cheating on him. now that i think about it i think i still might be on stage three.

thats all i have to say and it is really strange how true the stages are.

It is strange that I find myself writing to you, Tyra. I watch your show when I can and find you to be a remarkable woman. Today I spent the entire day in bed and all of a sudden decided I needed to get what was bothering me off my chest and that you were who I wanted to talk to about it. You see back in November 2006 my live in boyfriend and I got into an argument and he hit me. I did not leave him. The same thing happened about two weeks later. This time I told our chains of commands about it. I still did not leave him though. Then we found out I was pregnant. We had a rocky relationship and here we are with a baby on the way. In either case December gets here and he hits me once again. This time I called the police. The two male officers that came to our apartment refused to write a report and told me that they could not force him to leave the residence because his name was on the lease as well. I made a big stink about it until he agreed to leave. You would think that was the end of my story and wonder why it is now in June that I am writing you. Unfortunately, the story does not end there. I had not told my chain of command I was pregnant so when January rolled around I notified them of my pregnancy and my decision to keep the baby despite my situation. I then told him and his chain of command the same. He did not seem fazed by my decision. In February he came back into my life for two weeks and then he left again. A sequence of events occurred that caused the chains of command to decide that my safety may be in danger and to place a military protective order/ no contact order out. Still binded by the orders stating he was not to have contact with me, he reached out to me in the beginning of May. He told me how sorry he was for the past couple of months and how much he wanted to be there for the rest of the pregnancy. Being that I had not let go yet despite everything he put me through, I agreed to let him back in my life. He was not back in my life two weeks before he started treating me like I was his free ATM. I paid $400 for him at court, $200 on his phone, when we went to dinner it was on me, and then he always seemed to lend me his car on empty. He started trying to control everything regarding my life to include who could come and go in my apartment that I pay rent at by myself. It has been six weeks since the last time I let him back in my life and he once again walked out the door. This time sending a text message saying that I and our expectant daughter do not exist to him. He even went as far as to tell me that the only kids he cares about are those with his ex-wife. After all of this that I have shared and that that I have not shared, you would think I would be ready to move on, but I am not. The scary part is I know if he were to call me I would answer the phone and let him right back in. Please help me because I need to break this cycle before I have our daughter in 7 weeks.

It is strange that I find myself writing to you, Tyra. I watch your show when I can and find you to be a remarkable woman. Today I spent the entire day in bed and all of a sudden decided I needed to get what was bothering me off my chest and that you were who I wanted to talk to about it. You see back in November 2006 my live in boyfriend and I got into an argument and he hit me. I did not leave him. The same thing happened about two weeks later. This time I told our chains of commands about it. I still did not leave him though. Then we found out I was pregnant. We had a rocky relationship and here we are with a baby on the way. In either case December gets here and he hits me once again. This time I called the police. The two male officers that came to our apartment refused to write a report and told me that they could not force him to leave the residence because his name was on the lease as well. I made a big stink about it until he agreed to leave. You would think that was the end of my story and wonder why it is now in June that I am writing you. Unfortunately, the story does not end there. I had not told my chain of command I was pregnant so when January rolled around I notified them of my pregnancy and my decision to keep the baby despite my situation. I then told him and his chain of command the same. He did not seem fazed by my decision. In February he came back into my life for two weeks and then he left again. A sequence of events occurred that caused the chains of command to decide that my safety may be in danger and to place a military protective order/ no contact order out. Still binded by the orders stating he was not to have contact with me, he reached out to me in the beginning of May. He told me how sorry he was for the past couple of months and how much he wanted to be there for the rest of the pregnancy. Being that I had not let go yet despite everything he put me through, I agreed to let him back in my life. He was not back in my life two weeks before he started treating me like I was his free ATM. I paid $400 for him at court, $200 on his phone, when we went to dinner it was on me, and then he always seemed to lend me his car on empty. He started trying to control everything regarding my life to include who could come and go in my apartment that I pay rent at by myself. It has been six weeks since the last time I let him back in my life and he once again walked out the door. This time sending a text message saying that I and our expectant daughter do not exist to him. He even went as far as to tell me that the only kids he cares about are those with his ex-wife. After all of this that I have shared and that that I have not shared, you would think I would be ready to move on, but I am not. The scary part is I know if he were to call me I would answer the phone and let him right back in. Please help me because I need to break this cycle before I have our daughter in 7 weeks.

Tyra,
Gah i really need your help right now. please email me at foreverbaby_2011@yahoo.com
i need advice on alot of things if anyone else is reading this please email me. i really need to talk to someone.

Elow Tyra..
I am from a far off country. A Filipina. Hope you heard what Philippines is all about. With these flooding comments, i don't think that you would even notice this one. Anyhow, I just think this would be the only outlet for me to overcome the situation I am going through right now.

tO tell you, I am only 17 yrs old.. yes, I know I shouldn't be bothered with such problems like this. Especially with the culture I am used to, at my age, being in love is a taboo.

But, i have been madly inlove Tyra. And after we broke up, can't help but feel completely distressed. I am going through the stages right now especially the DEPRESSION part. The problem right now is that I am thinking of suicide Tyra.. And I can't help but pity myself for this. My ex boyfriend and I have been goin out for almost two years. The last broke up was for the second time we were together. I thought that was forever coz as they say, love is sweeter the second time around. But, it didn't end up that way. He cheated on me, and what I did was just stopped texting him and just erased him in my life.

Viewing your show has been very inspiring for me Tyra, even some episodes I cant relate with myself. I have been wishing to be on your show, but, I am too far from your country. My dreams will stay as dreams forever and knowing that there are too many people like me around the world.

Writing in this comment is a relief for me though. Knowing that somehow, I have participated.

I love you Tyra..

well tyra i am over the guy i knew we were gona break up and i assumed it would be in a nice way and that we would be friends.no, he began screaming at me and telling me we were done "were done i dont want u any more leave its over were done" he repeted this loudly the last day of school infront of people passing bie.thats not all he did later we ran into each other and i just wanted an explenation but he just started screaming at me and sayng were dun get over it and other related stuff that i did not decervei dint even know what i had done to disserve this you can ask him and anyone that knew us. everione thought i was the best girlfriend and he did this to me for no apparent reson if you only knew all the things i did for him i was so nice to him i didnt mind that he didnt have money to take me places or that he didnt have a car and i had to drive and pay for the stuff.i lisend to all his family problems ididnt mind that we couldnt go out because his parents didnt like me because of my race,i didnt mind that his parents called me trash,and i didnt mind helping him out going to visit him at work or his house that was relly far away i didnt mind helping him and making him feel beter. if he needed something i was there for him all the time no questions asked. i feel betraid, used so so sad. i am over him i didnt realy like him that much but i cant get over how he treated me all i wanted was to know why he was breaking up with me. to make matters worst it was our 4 month date he didnt even care for that what can i do i feel so bad for the way he treated me i have cried so much, i dont think he even feels bad i hate him and i feel horrible for the way he treated me i didnt decerve it help!

well tyra i am over the guy i knew we were gona break up and i assumed it would be in a nice way and that we would be friends.no, he began screaming at me and telling me we were done "were done i dont want u any more leave its over were done" he repeted this loudly the last day of school infront of people passing bie.thats not all he did later we ran into each other and i just wanted an explenation but he just started screaming at me and sayng were dun get over it and other related stuff that i did not decervei dint even know what i had done to disserve this you can ask him and anyone that knew us. everione thought i was the best girlfriend and he did this to me for no apparent reson if you only knew all the things i did for him i was so nice to him i didnt mind that he didnt have money to take me places or that he didnt have a car and i had to drive and pay for the stuff.i lisend to all his family problems ididnt mind that we couldnt go out because his parents didnt like me because of my race,i didnt mind that his parents called me trash,and i didnt mind helping him out going to visit him at work or his house that was relly far away i didnt mind helping him and making him feel beter. if he needed something i was there for him all the time no questions asked. i feel betraid, used so so sad. i am over him i didnt realy like him that much but i cant get over how he treated me all i wanted was to know why he was breaking up with me. to make matters worst it was our 4 month date he didnt even care for that what can i do i feel so bad for the way he treated me i have cried so much, i dont think he even feels bad i hate him and i feel horrible for the way he treated me i didnt decerve it help!

well tyra i am over the guy i knew we were gona break up and i assumed it would be in a nice way and that we would be friends.no, he began screaming at me and telling me we were done "were done i dont want u any more leave its over were done" he repeted this loudly the last day of school infront of people passing bie.i dint even know what i had done to disserve this you can ask him and anyone that knew us. everione thought i was the best girlfriend and he did this to me for no apparent reson i am over him i didnt realy like him that much but i cant get over how he treated me all i wanted was to know why he was breaking up with me. thats not all he did later we ran into each other and i just wanted an explenation but he just started screaming at me and sayng were dun get over it and other related stuff that i did not decerve i hate him what can i do i feel so bad for the way he treated me i have cried so much, i dont think he even feels bad. help!

hey TYRA!!

well tyra i wuz with this guy for about a year and 2 months and im telling u i became soooo attached 2 him.

when i first met him we were just friends but then one day all of a sudden after only about a month of knowing him i felt completely diffrent about him. i knew he had a crush on me since before we even met and i just started developing such strong feelings towards him because he wuz just such a sweet person and i had never met a guy like him before.we began 2 talk constantly 2 each other and i fell so quick i dont know what happened.i cant say that i was in love with him right away because it just didnt happen over night.but i can honestly say i was head over heels 4 this guy.i had always felt so alone and he just really made me feel wonderful for the first time in my life like there was actually someone out there that would love me and just care for me so much.he asked me out on may 5th 2006 and it was just the happiest day of my life!

things went so well in the beginning and it felt good 2 have a best friend and a boyfriend all in one.it wuz an amazinggg feeling.but as school got out and summer came he quickly began 2 change from this sweet amazing guy 2 a person that everybody wanted him 2 b.i loved him 4 the person that he was and for some reason no1 would appreciate him for what he was except for me.people would alwayz tell him he was such a geek and that he wuz a "lil bitch" because he wuz sensative 2 the way girls would feel and he was the type that never wanted 2 hurt any1.so i guess he fell 2 the pressure and just stopped being the person that i loved him 4.and when i realized what was happening i just became sooo depressed and wished that things would just stay the same.however, i was determined to stay with him because i seriously fell for this guy and even began to just feel so much love towards him.and i find it odd that as soon as i had completely fell in love with him..things were diffrent.i was so determined to stay with him because i had seen what a wonderful person he could be and i knew behind this new person was the guy i had completely fell in love with.

so then my sophomore year of high school began and we were just surrounded by so much gossip and so many people asking me..."and why are you guys together?" it was just crazy how many people were against us being together. people would tell me that i was to pretty and too good for him and people would tell him that he could do better.the more the school year went on the more he began to change.he started to chill with new friends, started to dress diffrently,(trying to be gangsterr haha), talked diffrently,treated me with less respect,he started having more girls after him(some which are even my so called friends),and he started paying more and more attention to other girls and less attention 2 me.

i remember back in freshmen year when we first started dating he was completely in love with me and if i ever said another guy was cute he would get hurt by that.and after he had changed he was constantly telling me what gurl was really sexy and what gurl he was crushing on.and it really hurt because i was disgusted at who he had become and it was not at all the person i grew 2 love. he would even constantly compare me 2 other girls and tell me " why cant u dress more like that girl" or "why cant you do your hair like her."
my esteem was really affected by him and the way he would compre me 2 these beautiful girls and i was always cryin myself to sleep because of him.and still i loved him and we had plans to marry each other after high school and it was a dream i just wanted 2 come true.in the back of my mind i would always be thinkin...look at everything hes done 4 me...look how he puts up with me...look at how hes there 4 me...look how long we've been 2gether..hes my first love...

so we were constantly on and off and it hurt me and the more we would break up and get back together , the more i would get upset about it and the more i would feel that one day it really would just come 2 a final end.and i was soo right.

he began puttin me after all of his friends, talkin about me behind my back 2 his friends that didnt like me, and always goin out without me and conveniently told me about it the next day.

one of my best friends michelle had developed a crush on him and would always invite him 2 huge parties and teen clubs and he would go..and i was never invited and at that point i just really went into depression because for some reason he had a hold on me and i still loved him even tho it seemed as if his feelings for me were fading.we had so many talks 2gether and we fought constantly and he would tell me he would change 4 me..but he never did..he just became more and more of an ugly person.i knew he was only making me miserable and that i had to get out of this bad relationship because the more i stayed with him the more i hated myself for it and the more i noticed myself just slowly breaking down.
and still for some reason i couldnt find it in myself to just break up with him and not go running back to him. i anted 2 feel like i didnt need him but i just couldnt do it...

so finally we got into a huge fight and ended it for good and stopped talking for a while and i was devastated at first but after a while i got used to it. it was just kind of hard seeing him flirting with other girls because after all i did love him and for some reason that love wouldnt go away.so i finally believed i was over him after 2 months and then something unexpected happened...he started talking to me again and he told me that he didnt want to be a complete asshole 2 me.and i wish he would have never done that because all those feelings just came rushing back.

so right now i am just a confused depressed mess.part of me is dying to have him back because he really was my everything and there were times where he was just an amazing person that helped me to cope with all this pain in my life.and the other part of me isnt sure if he did more good than harm for me because my self esteem wqas just at an all time low and at times he would make me feel worthless. i honestly think that i was just really dependant on him and just felt like i needed him so that i wouldnt feel so alone in this world and i feel that i put myself through all of that just 2 feel that i had SOMEBODY.once in a while ill c sumthin or hear sumthin that reminds me of him and i break down in tears and start to miss him.i know once school starts up again next year and i see him and he will once again begin to talk to me. the confusing mess will just start all over again.

so tyraaa please give me some advice!!

tyra i honestly just think u are amazing!!

i never thought of watchin your show because i thought it would just be a pointless show hosted by some super model trying to become the next oprah but once i actually watched it i was so wrong!

i saw how you are just such a sweet and kindhearted person despite the fact that you modeled for many years you did not at all let this go to your head as most people do.you're such a down to earth person that just loves giving to people and makin dreams come true.i watch as you change people's lives and help them to over come things that have caused them so much pain or things that they have difficulty dealing with.just seeing these people brought 2 tears of joy is just such a great thing.once again you are completely amazing and i admire you so much for this.=)

hi tyra!!!

im gen from Philippines!!
i just want you to know that i thank technology for having invented the cable... so i can watch you...
i always watch tyra banks show and ANTM...
you are such a good person in and out..
im glad that even you are a star still you are reachable...
continue your good doings!!!
luv yah!!! god speed!

Hey TYRA I really really love your show.. i watch it everyday,, well I really need advice.. i had been with my x boyfriend for the past three years.. we had been on and off but the last time we broke up i decided to leave it at that.. we have been broken up for 8 months. it was really hard for me to forget about him cuz i really cared for him. but the reason we broke up was because he moved to arizona and you know long distance relationships dont work.. even though we tried to work things out within the 8 months it never worked.. so i finally gave up..now were just became friends and i started hanging out with this guy i had known ever since high school.. ive known him since my sophmore year cuz me and one of his friends were going out and we stopped talking.. up to about a month ago we seen each other again and started hanging out ever since then we go out about five times a week..hes sweet and he likes the same things as i do.. im not quite sure of what he wants with me..what should i do tyra i know he hasnt asked me to be his girlfriend but i really want to try things out with him, i also dont want to rush into things with him..i really dont want to pressure him. but how do i let him know that im into him with making him feel weird. please try helpppp me

HI TYRA!!

LET ME START OFF BY SAYING THAT YOU ARE TRUELY AN INSPIRATION TO ME AND ONE OF MY HEROES RIGHT NEXT TO MY MOTHER.

I HAVE DATED THIS GUY FOR FOUR YEARS SINCE SOPHMORE YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL. WE HAVE A VERY STRONG AND DEEP CONNECETION I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED WITH ANYBODY ELSE BEFORE. THE FOUR YEARS HAVE BEEN BUMPY, BUT THE MOST AMAZING IN MY 19 YEARS OF LIFE. LAST YEAR, HE BEGAN TO MESS AROUND WITH ANOTHER GIRL WHILE WE WERE HAVING PROBLEMS, HOWEVER, WHEN I LET HIM GO AND TOLD HIM TO BE HAPPY, HE CAME BACK CRYING TO ME, AND HAS BEEN PROVING HIS LOVE FOR ME EVER SINCE. HE SAID HE WOULD NEVER GIVE UP AND MAKE ME HIS. I NEVER WANTED TO FALL BACK IN LOVE WITH HIM, BUT IT HAPPENED. ABOUT FOUR MONTHS AGO, HE STOPPED PUTTING IN ANY EFFORT INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP. HE BEGAN TO STAY OUT ALL NIGHT WITH HIS FRIENDS, FORGOT ABOUT ME, AND PUT IN NO EFFORT. I THEN BEGAN TO REALIZE THAT I CANNOT LOOSE HIM AND BEGAN TO WORK AT THINGS MYSELF. I REALIZED HOW MUCH HE HAS BEEN TRYING AND I KNEW DEEP DOWN THAT HE WAS THE ONE FOR ME. TODAY HAS BEEN THE HARDEST DAY. HE TOLD ME HE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS AND WILL NOT TRY TO WORK AT THINGS ANYMORE. WE BOTH BEGAN TO CRY AND I LOOKED SO DESPERATE BEGGING HIM FOR ANOTHER CHANCE, AS IF I DID ANYTHING WRONG. THROUGH OUT OUR 4 YEAR RELATIONSHIP, WHENEVER I WANTED TO LEAVE, HE WOULD NEVER LET ME AND HE NEVER GAVE UP. I GAVE HIM NUMEROUS CHANCES AND NO MATTER HOW BAD WE FALL, HE IS THE ONE WHO NEVER GIVES UP. THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT. I CAN TELL BY THE WAY HE LOOKS AT ME, THE WAY HE HOLDS ME. BEING HIS FRIEND WON'T BE EASY BECAUSE I HAVE ALL THESE FEELING FOR HIM ON AN EMOTIONAL LEVEL. IT WILL BE EVEN HARDER TO SEE HIM TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS AND WHAT NOT. I SIT AND CRY ALL DAY, NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO. I KNOW I WILL NEVER FIND SOMEONE AS GOOD AS HIM. HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME AND NOW, IM JUST CONFUSED AND DEPRESSED. CAN I TRUELY STAY FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHO I HAVE GREAT FEELINGS FOR? HE SAYS HE LOVES ME WITH ALL HIS HEART. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, WOULDNT YOU TRY TO HOLD ON TO THEM? I GUESS IT'S MY FAULT FOR DISTANCING MYSELF FROM HIM THIS PAST YEAR BECAUSE HE PLAYED ME. BUT WHAT DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO TRUST AND LET HIM BACK IN THAT EASILY. HE GOT TIRED OF PUTTING IN 110% AND ME NOT CARING. I TRUELY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. I CANNOT CONCENTRATE IN SCHOOLWORK, HE IS ALL THAT RUNS THROUGH MY MIND. IT JUST HURTS TO SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH SOMEONE FOR FOUR YEARS, BECOME SO ATTATCHED TO THE POINT OF OBSESSION, AND LOSE IT ALL. I AM TIRED OF BEING DESPERATE AND BLAMING MYSELF. HE IS TRUELY A GREAT GUY AND I PICTURED US TOGETHER FOREVER. I KNOW IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD, BUT IT SURLEY FEELS THAT WAY. I NEVER EXPECTED HIM TO BREAK MY HEART TWICE. WHEN I FINALLY ADMITTED MY FEELINGS FOR HIM, HE BACKED OUT AND SAID HE WAS NOW CONFUSED AND DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO. WHY WOULD HE TRY FOR A WHOLE YEAR, AND THEN WHEN I'M READY TO TAKE THAT NEXT STEP, HE'S GONE. IT TRUELY HURTS MORE THEN THE TIME HE CHOSE ANOTHER GIRL OVER ME. MY HEART CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH, BUT YET I AM STILL WILLING TO HAVE HIM BACK IN MY LIFE AS A BOYFRIEND IF THAT WAS AN OPTION, WHICH UNFORTUNATLY, IT IS NOT. BEING SUCH A STRONG WOMAN THAT I ADMIRE, DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE?

HI TYRA!!

LET ME START OFF BY SAYING THAT YOU ARE TRUELY AN INSPIRATION TO ME AND ONE OF MY HEROES RIGHT NEXT TO MY MOTHER.

I HAVE DATED THIS GUY FOR FOUR YEARS SINCE SOPHMORE YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL. WE HAVE A VERY STRONG AND DEEP CONNECETION I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED WITH ANYBODY ELSE BEFORE. THE FOUR YEARS HAVE BEEN BUMPY, BUT THE MOST AMAZING IN MY 19 YEARS OF LIFE. LAST YEAR, HE BEGAN TO MESS AROUND WITH ANOTHER GIRL WHILE WE WERE HAVING PROBLEMS, HOWEVER, WHEN I LET HIM GO AND TOLD HIM TO BE HAPPY, HE CAME BACK CRYING TO ME, AND HAS BEEN PROVING HIS LOVE FOR ME EVER SINCE. HE SAID HE WOULD NEVER GIVE UP AND MAKE ME HIS. I NEVER WANTED TO FALL BACK IN LOVE WITH HIM, BUT IT HAPPENED. ABOUT FOUR MONTHS AGO, HE STOPPED PUTTING IN ANY EFFORT INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP. HE BEGAN TO STAY OUT ALL NIGHT WITH HIS FRIENDS, FORGOT ABOUT ME, AND PUT IN NO EFFORT. I THEN BEGAN TO REALIZE THAT I CANNOT LOOSE HIM AND BEGAN TO WORK AT THINGS MYSELF. I REALIZED HOW MUCH HE HAS BEEN TRYING AND I KNEW DEEP DOWN THAT HE WAS THE ONE FOR ME. TODAY HAS BEEN THE HARDEST DAY. HE TOLD ME HE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS AND WILL NOT TRY TO WORK AT THINGS ANYMORE. WE BOTH BEGAN TO CRY AND I LOOKED SO DESPERATE BEGGING HIM FOR ANOTHER CHANCE, AS IF I DID ANYTHING WRONG. THROUGH OUT OUR 4 YEAR RELATIONSHIP, WHENEVER I WANTED TO LEAVE, HE WOULD NEVER LET ME AND HE NEVER GAVE UP. I GAVE HIM NUMEROUS CHANCES AND NO MATTER HOW BAD WE FALL, HE IS THE ONE WHO NEVER GIVES UP. THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT. I CAN TELL BY THE WAY HE LOOKS AT ME, THE WAY HE HOLDS ME. BEING HIS FRIEND WON'T BE EASY BECAUSE I HAVE ALL THESE FEELING FOR HIM ON AN EMOTIONAL LEVEL. IT WILL BE EVEN HARDER TO SEE HIM TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS AND WHAT NOT. I SIT AND CRY ALL DAY, NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO. I KNOW I WILL NEVER FIND SOMEONE AS GOOD AS HIM. HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME AND NOW, IM JUST CONFUSED AND DEPRESSED. CAN I TRUELY STAY FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHO I HAVE GREAT FEELINGS FOR? HE SAYS HE LOVES ME WITH ALL HIS HEART. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, WOULDNT YOU TRY TO HOLD ON TO THEM? I GUESS IT'S MY FAULT FOR DISTANCING MYSELF FROM HIM THIS PAST YEAR BECAUSE HE PLAYED ME. BUT WHAT DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO TRUST AND LET HIM BACK IN THAT EASILY. HE GOT TIRED OF PUTTING IN 110% AND ME NOT CARING. I TRUELY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. I CANNOT CONCENTRATE IN SCHOOLWORK, HE IS ALL THAT RUNS THROUGH MY MIND. IT JUST HURTS TO SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH SOMEONE FOR FOUR YEARS, BECOME SO ATTATCHED TO THE POINT OF OBSESSION, AND LOSE IT ALL. I AM TIRED OF BEING DESPERATE AND BLAMING MYSELF. HE IS TRUELY A GREAT GUY AND I PICTURED US TOGETHER FOREVER. I KNOW IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD, BUT IT SURLEY FEELS THAT WAY. I NEVER EXPECTED HIM TO BREAK MY HEART TWICE. WHEN I FINALLY ADMITTED MY FEELINGS FOR HIM, HE BACKED OUT AND SAID HE WAS NOW CONFUSED AND DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO. WHY WOULD HE TRY FOR A WHOLE YEAR, AND THEN WHEN I'M READY TO TAKE THAT NEXT STEP, HE'S GONE. IT TRUELY HURTS MORE THEN THE TIME HE CHOSE ANOTHER GIRL OVER ME. MY HEART CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH, BUT YET I AM STILL WILLING TO HAVE HIM BACK IN MY LIFE AS A BOYFRIEND IF THAT WAS AN OPTION, WHICH UNFORTUNATLY, IT IS NOT. BEING SUCH A STRONG WOMAN THAT I ADMIRE, DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE?

creatures foregone profited!blurry.Midwesterners?quandaries haunt bobs

Tyra,
First I have to say, I absolutely love your show. You're an inspiration. And you're one of my biggest heroes. Right after my mom. Lol.

Me and my boyfriend of nine months broke up two weeks ago. In the time we were together we broke up four times. This is the fifth. This time it is done though. Those steps are so familiar. Right now I would say I'm in stage five. I feel like I absolutely hate him. But I know I have a reason to. The jerk cheated on me. And I found out he lied to me about smoking weed the whole time we were together. I can't even stand to be in the same school as him anymore. Just knowing he's there makes me mad. The girl he is dating now is a tramp. But oh well, they deserve each other. :]
I know I'll find better.
I don't think I'll ever make it to step 7 and 8 though. I think i've already moved on.

All of this information is so completely true...thanks for giving us the oppurtonity to post it.

I just broke up with the one man I loved.. We have been together for 5 yrs and we broke up last yr for about 7 months and he came back to me b/c he said that he realized that he loved me and that i was the one he wanted to be with so we started to date again about 5 months ago and he started to tell me he loved me (he hasnt said he loved me for about a yr now) so when he said it i was exicted well we have had our problems and i asked him do u love me and just 1 day ago he said he loves me more then anything and now he is telling me that he dont love me no more... how can u tell someone that u love them and then just b/c u have problems tell them that u dont? did he ever really love me? I dont know what to do anymore..

i went out with this guy and now he still likes me and i still like him..or i think he likes me because his friends keep saying that.i dont know.does he like me?because he never loks at me straight in the eye and i could tell by the way i walk by him i see him looking at me.i dont know should i tell him or not?

my x an i have broken up so many times all those stages r so familiar its a lil scary. hopefully this time i will finally make it 2 the last an b done,because i dont think i can handle stage 6 n e more.

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

~Kahlil Gibran

i dated someone for three years and i trusted him with all my haert but he ended up living me and my haert can not accept that
becourse i still love

HEY TYRA,
THESE ARE SOME REALLY TOUGH STAGES, I HAVE BEEN THROUGH MOST OF THEM. MY EX-BOYFRIEND AND I OF 4YEARS AND 7MONTHS HAVE BEEN BROKEN UP FOR A WHILE. THE BAD THING IS WERE STILL FRIENDS AND I WANT MORE THAN THAT. I KNOW IT ISNT GOOD TO BE AROUND EACH OTHER AS MUCH AND HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, BUT IT'S HARD TO JUST LET GO. WERE LIKE BESTRIENDS, BUT WE ALSO FIGHT ALOT. DEALING WITH SCHOOL AND WORK HAS BECOME A HASSLE, BECAUSE FOR SOME ODD REASON YOU CANT GET THIS PERSON OUT OF YOUR MIND. SOMETIMES I THINK ONE OF THE GOOD THINGS FOR YOU, CAN BE THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. YES, IM TALKING ABOUT LOVE. SOMETIMES I HATE IT, BUT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. ANYWAY I LOVE YOU TYRA, AND YOUR SO BEAUTIUL.... :)

Yesterday me and my boyfriend that i was with for a year and 4 months broke up because my parents. Im going to be 17 in 2 months and he just turned 18 last saturday was so scared that he would end up in jail if my parents see us standing together. I know he loved me and i still am shicked but have to hit reality because i have respect for him and care about him. He wants to be friends but I cant because i still feel like im his shorty. The thing that hurts the most is that i asked him were breaking up for someone else not because i did something or u did something, he looked at me and sayd i kno baby, thats y im sorry. Now my parents saw us together yesterday when we were talking and they want to kick me out just beacuse i was with HIM talking about our relationship. I cant get him off my mind everything reminds me of him cuz we did everything together n always were secretly together, i just want to stop thinking about him every minute because i kno we cant be together and have to see him as my friend. I love em and want him happy and he wishes me the same, my parents called both my jobs and i had to quit them now i DONT kno were to go or what to do....

WELL I'VE BROKEN UP WITH TWO GUYS THAT I REALLY LIKED.....THE FIRST ONE BROKE MY HEART, BUT STILL THIS DAY I WANT HIM BACK.......I JUST CANT MOVE ON, I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM BUT THE ONLY THING I KNOW IS THAT I CANT KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM HE'S NOT GOING TO STOP ,ME FROM MOVING ON.....I SIMPLY JUST HATE GIRLS THAT GIVE UP ON THEMSELVES OVER A GUY...TRUST ME THERE ARE PLENTY OF MORE GUYS THAT WILL CHERISH YOU FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE...I ASLO HAD THIS LAST GUY WHO I REALLY LED MY GUARD DOWN FOR BUT IT SEEMS LIKE I CANT GET OVER HIM......I TRY MY BEST BUT I SIMPLY JUST CAMT LET HIM GO...BUT WHILE READING THIS I NOTICED THAT GUYS ARE LIKE MONEY, WE ITCH TO GET THEM BUT THEN SPEND THEM AND WASTE THEM........AND NEVER SEEM TO LEARN HOW TO HOLD ON TO THEM!

hey.
Yeah i broke up with my boyfriend, but its seems like i still cant get over him. We are still friends and everything. But when i was with him i was always getting into trouble, like never comming home, and staying at his house all the time, I never got to hang out with my friends anymore and have awsome days, but now its not like the good old days. My mom and dad lost my trust. I don't know what to do right now because we are still kissing and hugging when i dont want to. I just want to get it over with and start new. I'm still young, and confused.

Hi Tyra,
I really needed to read this. Last week, I found out that my boyfriend, (of two years), is/has cheating on me. Not only was he my boyfriend, but he was my best friend. I'm still very upset about it, I went to the doctor last week because I'm having problems sleeping. Anyways, I've been diagonised with insomnia and depression. But after reading this, and the other posts, I think i'm going to be fine. After all, maybe it's not the end of the world.

I just broke up with my boyfriend last night but I think so far, I'm doing pretty well. I'm on the depression stage now(strange, I know. But it's THAT FAST!). At least now I know I'm really gonna be ok. Life goes on. Thanks Tyra! You really are an angel :)

i've gone through most of these stages. my boyfriend of a year brokeup with me and went with another girl and almost wentout with her..he kissed her and everything, and lied to me about it for a lnog time. i finally found out ... not from him though, through her..... i got through it and it made me stronger. im back with him because i learned to forgive but i find it had to trust anyone. btw, I LOVE YOU TYRAA!!!!! :)

i've gone through most of these stages. my boyfriend of a year brokeup with me and went with another girl and almost wentout with her..he kissed her and everything, and lied to me about it for a lnog time. i finally found out ... not from him though, through her..... i got through it and it made me stronger. im back with him because i learned to forgive but i find it had to trust anyone. btw, I LOVE YOU TYRAA!!!!! :)

hi tyra,
okayy well i never dated this kid but we had a "thing" we acted like we were going out but now he likes my best friend and she likes him =( i liked him soo much and for him to do this to me... everytime i like a kid he starts to like me so that i won't like other kids.. what do i do?

Hi Tyra.

Well to be honest with you im not sure what is going on in my life at this moment im so confussed.I recently broke up with this guy and i have been doing well or should i say pretending to doing well.I have to pretend im not missing him in front of family and friends, when inside I miss him so much and im hurting so much.I sometimes find myself dialing his number and before he can answer I put down cause deep down I know that hearing his voice will make me miserable all over again.I belive i am strong but sometimes I just cant handle not having him in my life and the reality is that he has moved on with his and I dont want to compicate his life cause I know that he is happy, I just miss him so much at times it's unbearalbe and I get so lonely and at times angry knowing that he is feeling comfort in some one else arms.How do I get over some one when Im still so much in love with him?

erotic Hellenization.particular Mackey Philly Hottentot Cruickshank - Tons of interesdting stuff!!!

Tyra,
I have a PROBLEM! I broke up with my boyfriend and I really dont know if I made the right decision. I told him that I was trying to move on in the world and that he was not holding me back but moving me very slowly forward. Im just about to start college in the fall and he has dropped out of high school and isnt really planning on getting hie GED in the near future. Can you please help me and let me know if I did the right thing or not.

Hi I'm 16 and i've been off and on with this guy for the last tree years and we haven't talked since 2005 and all of a sudden we talk for hours on the phone but he says he just wants to be friends and dosen't understand that i've never gotten over him but he talks as if were going out and always wants to hang out but he's wit someone else and one of my best friends like him what should i do? I've tried to tell him that he's hurt me and i don't want anything to do with him anymore but when i hear his voice i just can't say it instead we laugh and talk it just sucks please help me

Hi Tyra.

My boyfriend (of two years) and I broke up just two days ago. He told me that he was interested in another girl. I was in a state of shock. I just couldnt believe that this was actually happening. I went CRAZY. I started crying uncontrollably and I kept saying that I just wanted to die. He was the last good thing in my life and now he's nothing but a memory. I hate myself because I keep calling and i'm putting the thought in my head that he is going to come back to me. I know he isn't. Today he was suppose to pick me up from school..but he totally never showed off. He just blew me off. I couldn't believe he did that. He would never EVER do anything like that. I feel so alone because I was really starting to love him when he decided to be intreasted in someone else.I have never felt heartbreak like this and I just cant handle it. It's honestly the worst feeling in the world and I hate it. I hate him for leaving me like that and not giving a damn about me anymore. I try to stay as busy as possible so I don't think about him..but nothing I do really keeps my mind off of him. I just wish he would reconsider and come back to me. But i know that won't happen. And i just can't come to terms with that. Please help me.
I need some advice.

Thanks Tyra.

Oh gosh! lol im still on all numbers ive tried to come to terms with 7 & 8 & cant.. 4 years & i still cant..

Hey Tyra,
Reading this really help me determine where i was. For a year now I have been hurting over this four year relationship that jus ended so badly. From back and forth to I'll never talk to you again. He was someone I thought I would never get over. But I thought I could cover up the hurt with new guys. Which you can't. I jus turned 20 and with this new age brought a new and repaired heart I'm ready to get out there and find my new guy. Not worrying about "Will he hurt me like my ex did" just knowing I'm ready to let my gaurds down and let someone in!!!!!

Hi tyra

Me and my boyfriend of 2 years just broke up about 5 days ago and it has been so hard. All of those things i have been feeling. I reallylove him todeath im 16 and hes 19, he need to move out of our small town and get a really good job the he loves and go to school while im still here finishing school. We both love each other and he said he doesn't want another girlfriend because if he did want one it would be me and we both want to see if it will work once i can move out of my house and live where he is. It is so hard i dont want to be with anyone else and i just feel up at times like i know its going to be all ok because we are doing this so we can have a future, but then at times i feel like this is not what i wanti want himto stay an wait for me, but that is selfish and i dont want that i just want him to be happy and hes for sure not happy hear.

hi tyra,

well i think those step are so true. im a 24 year old woman and i was in a 6 years relationship and one day he just told me it was time to move on . thats all i got as an explination i was shock but really hurt i was engaged to this man and all he did is break my heard well noew 9 month later im glad im not with him he show me a different side of him that i dont like at all. it was hard to accept te fact thats he was not my fiance and thats all the plant where out the door with him. now it weird for me to date i never been sinlge i was with him since i was 17 so now is weird for me to date. what can i do.well thatnx u for giving me tha chance to express my self.

love,
cristina

Hi Tyra.

I was with my ex for three years, since i was 16. We were insepaerable, did everything together, he was my first love. We broke up sometimes, and he always came back. One day after xmas, we broke up and i moved on with another guy, was doing good with him, then my ex started talking to me again. I ended up going to Montreal with my ex and we hooked up again, thus i left my bf for him. It worked out for a few months, we had or own apartment, a kitten and puppy, evrything. Then one day when i came home from work, he was gone, he left me again. I finally was fed up and numb to it all, thinking to myself, is this what i want for myself? I moved on with my current bf, who im with now. Then, again, the ex started talking to me, and sparks flew again. he said he wantd to be with me and he loved me and stuff, and i believed it. So, we hung out for a bit, i admit i kissed him,i couldnt help it. So a few days later, after we had been chillin for a bit, he told me he was on his way to come see me so we could be together, at this point, i had hopes of us getting back together, as thats what he said. He would reasue me many times he was coming, but after hrs he didnt show. That same night, i got ahold of him, after he didnt answer his calls after he didnt show for a while, i found out he had a gf and wouldnt talk to me anymore and was being so cold towards me. He said he didnt wanna talk to me, and we were over, and he still loves me but wants to move on. Like, the same day he was telling me how much he loved me and would marry me one day. It was like being shot in the same wound. Im devistated again, and its going to take some time to recover. Im still with my bf, but i dont love him like i love my ex, i neevr will. Ill always love him, he was the love of my life, but i need to one day understand he isnt right for me, and i deserve someone who wont play games and do that to me.

hi,tyra
it is good to understand peoples feeling so,keep itup!

hi,tyra
it is good to understand peoples feeling so,keep itup!

hi,tyra
it is good to understand peoples feeling so,keep itup!

Hi Tyra,
I'm 17 and my boyfriend of a year and a 1/2 broke up with me about a month ago. It was very devastating. He broke up with me 2 days before Christmas. It was a huge shock and I couldn't believe what was happening. I called him 100 times a day begging him to come back to me. But he was very cold to me and would call me a bitch and a slut and told me to leave him alone. I couldn't understand how someone who was with me for a year and a 1/2 and told me that they loved me and took my virginity could be so mean. All of my friends told me to just not talk to him anymore and leave him alone. They all told me I was being stupid for actually wanting to be with him after he called me those names and treated me that way. But I just kept looking past all of that and would forget about it... all I wanted was to be with him. If he treated me like that or not, it didn't matter to me. I was very blinded by it all. So then on Christmas eve I called him hoping he'd want to see me. So he picked up the phone and I asked him what he was doing and he told me he was at this girl Faith's house. I knew Faith was a girl he worked with and he thought she was a really cool girl. So I started crying and begging him to leave her house and come see me. But he didn't, he wanted nothing to do with me. I couldn't bare to take in that we just broke up and he didn't care at all. For about another week I still called him everyday, probably 10 times a day. He'd sometimes pick up and sometimes not. He was never nice though, always cold. Most of the times he was with Faith too. It was VERY devastating. I lost 10 lbs in a matter of 2 weeks. I couldn't eat and I weighed 97 lbs. I was getting very sick. My mom got very concerned and yelled at me telling me I was not allowed to talk to him anymore. At that point it had been 2 weeks since I last saw him. That was the longest I ever went without seeing him since we dated. So I went to the doctors and was told I was anemic and I was diagnosed with being Clinically Depressed. I was given an anti-depressent and was told by the doctor to break all communication with him. So I listened to the doctor and started moving on. Then one day he called me about a month or so after we broke up he called me. He told me all he ever does is think about me and how he really wants to get back with me. But at that time I was in stage 5. I didn't want to hear it. I was so mad at him for treating me that way. So I started getting over it and I told him we could hang out just as friends. BIG MISTAKE! We hung out and ended up having sex. It brought back all of the feelings I had for him and it pretty much was like starting over. I regreted it so much b/c I felt like all of my hard work to get to that strong point I was at was all useless. He then started treating me badly again and currently wants nothing to do with me. I feel very used but now I know I can't be friends with him at all any time soon. Maybe a year from now. But when you're in the healing process don't think hanging out as "just friends" will work. It wont and it's very hard especially if he has already moved on with someone else. But right now I'm accepting hte fact we are over with and we both need to move on. It definitely has made me a stronger person.

hi tyra,
i was in love with this boy since 2004, but we continued to stop talking on and off because when we first started to talk his ex-girlfriend was four months pregnant, and that caused a lot of drama that i was not ready for at the age of 15. i still continued to talk to him, he was the cutest boy in school and i turned him down plenty of times because i heard he was a hoe. i ended up falling for him hard, he was the first and only boy i ever loved and ever shed heavy tears . but i was always put second in his life, not for his son, but for his baby mova. i asked him about that a few weeks ago and he asked me what do i expect, since she is the mother of his child. that hurt me so bad because if he doesnt even think or want me to be number one where do i stand. i want to get him out of my life so bad because even though he makes me feel unwanted at times i still know that he loves me. i hate comparing myself to his baby mova but everytime i see her i know that he loves her more and im really nothing to him. recently he was suppose to give me money for a pregnancy test but he kept procrastinating. so i got mad and one time he said he was going to come over, and of course i didnt believe him, but i said okay, okay sure and i hung up...but i really didnt hang up (on accident), and he heard me say all this negative stuff about him. he was pissed. now he doesnt want anything to do with me anymore. im sitting here crying and going thru my depression stage that he usually puts me through at different times of the year, and its his fault, for treating me like im unimportant and im his last priority. because in reality he needed to hear everything i said so he could finally get the picture. so why am i sad, and praying that he would come back to me. now im jealous of his baby mova(i dont mean to spell it like that, but if i spell it any other way it wouldnt be me) because now i know he's spending more time with her because he doesnt want me and i had to return back to school. i gave my all to this boy and now im lonely and depressed and i dont know what to do. tyra, i hope i didnt bore you with my situation, but i would really appreciate advice from you because i kno u will be telling me the truth and what i need to hear.

Hi Tyra..
i just broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago..he was my first love and my true love! we've been dating almost 2 years..he cheated on me..with some other girl i know..and she is like my own sister! he told me,the reason is because i always accused him of being a playboy.i still love him and tried winning his love again but he rejected me. yesterday i started working at his mother patrol station..and what really surprised me is..he still wearing our ring..what should i do to winning his heart tyra? help me plz..im in pain.

hey tyra..i just love the advice you give so i wanted to ask some advice from you...im 17 and i used to go out with a guy from another state..he would sometimes make me laugh other times it was crap...after 6months we broke up i tried to move was almost there till he came back to me saying he still has feeling for me he still talks to me like before still says he loves me but just isnt ready for a commitment and i REALLYY want to be with him again SOO BAD!!! and ever since school started he hasnt really been talking to me...whats up? are we going to get back together or is he ignoreing me?? and btw I LOVE YOU tyra :-)

Tyra,
I need your help. I am trying to get over a recent split with my husband. We’ve been separated for a month now and I’ve filed for a divorce. He cheated on me more than once and lied, deceived the whole nine yards of ugliness. I am reaching out to you because of what you’ve been through and have experienced with your ex-boyfriend. How the heck do you get over something so painful and traumatic? I know going through the fire or pain is a healing process and everyone should go through it in order to heal completely. I’m just so “ugh” right now. You know? I gave this guy everything. We have a child together and I don’t see how the heck he can throw away his family for a piece…or for partying. And then not help me with anything!! I know that he is immature and really stuck in the “boy” stage. I just would like to hear how did YOU overcome your break up? You are so gorgeous and beautiful inside and out. Did you follow each of these steps? I’m scared to death to date again. Are you too? How long did it take you to get over your love. I know that you really loved him too. That’s why I’m reaching out to you…I think you can help me through this because you went through it too. Tyra, please help!!

hey Tyra,
I've never been good at this break up think that will ever happen.i broke up with my boyfriend 2 days ago and i dont think i did the right thing because right now i cant even sleep and worst is i find myself planning my own death cause i dont know what to do. i am in excrutiating pain right now.i dont think that i can go on with this stupid life without anyways.
please help me, tell me what to do. i cant suffer like this anymore. i have no one to talk to. my mom would understand anyways.
please help me
please
standy

hey tyra ,
well me and my boyfriend broke up 4 months ago but we were together for 1 yr. And now he will call me and we will "MEET" you know what i mean and i cant help but to "MEET" up with him and i dont know what to do?

For all that are going through the tribulations of a nasty break up;
Stay Strong for the next one that comes along to love you right.

If he cheated and you put yourself to blame it helps to remember that even the fine, fine successful and talented Halle Berry has been victim to the roaming man horn. Never blame yourself for anyone's actions.

Personal therapies that have helped me;
-Reading a list of positive things about me every day. "I am strong. I am beautiful. I am lovable and forgivable..." I taped it to my mirror to see every morning. At first I didn't feel they were true but in time it became my mantra and started out every day "after ever after" on the right foot.
-Mixed cd of positive chick songs. Nothing that talked about pain or anger of unrequited love that plaged the radio stations.
-I tried new things including chili cook offs and bingo nights. Even though I realized they were not my kind of things they got me out of the house and kept my mind preoccupied.
-Ask family members that have seen it all for their tips. One aunt turned to losing weight and exercising to get her groove back in the 80's. Their insite may help.

Much love to all messageboardees and a safe journey to a better stronger life. :)

Wow, this is exactly what I went through. Well, he left me not physically but emotionally. I physically left him, but the pain and hurt was still the same.

He didnt fight to keep me around, he just accepted it. It has been a couple of months, but I am moving on... at least trying.

Hey Tyra, I am 15 years old and I am still terribly in love with my ex boyfriend. Its just everything that he ever did for me was perfect, I miss him alot and I cry alot because I miss him so much. the other day I had to lie to my mom because I had been crying up in my room. The thing is when he calls just to see how I am my mom hangs up on him because she doesn't like the way he talks. I really wish that I could see him again, but I don't know how to get to him and not to mention I have no clue what his number is. Its really hard for me because I am so young and when ever i try to talk to someone about him its like I get ignored. Everyone says that I have no clue what love even is because I am so young. I also wish that I could tell my mom how I feel when she tells me she doesn't like him but I know she'll just get mad. I have absolutely no clue what to do, I really just want some help. can you help me?

the love of my life and my best friend just broke up with me almost two weeks ago. i was having a hard time trusting him because of previous relationships in my past. we had been very close friends for almost five years now and decided to date while he was incarcerated for a dui. i waited for him to come home for four months! then i moved in with him the day he came home. things were great until a "friend" told me that he had cheated. instead of calming down and confronting him face to face i freaked out and left a bunch of crazy messages on his voicemail. by the time i found out that this "friend" had just wanted someone to beat this other girl up it was too late. he says he just needs space and alone time. i try not to call and text him but i get so scared that hes just saying that. thats what a previous ex told me and all i did was sit around and wait for nothing. i dont know what id do if we cant make it work. whats hurts the most is seeing that my severe depression is hurting my family, but the only thing that made me truly happy was him. i dont know what else to do........i miss him so much......i want to go home and see him there waiting for me to get home from work. i cant take this......

MY FIRST LOVE MADE ME FEEL GREAT. WE'VE BEEN TO MANY PLACES, DONE MANY THINGS, HAD MANY LAUGHS. WHEN HE DECIDED TO CALL IT QUITS ON OUR RELATIONSHIP I WAS TORN BEYOND IMAGINATION. IT TOOK SOME TIME FOR ME TO BOUNCE BACK AND TO MOVE ON. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH FROM THAT RELATIONSHIP. I WANT EVERY PERSON WHO IS READING MY MESSAGE TO UNDRESTAND THAT THE PAIN WILL HEAL,BUT YOU MUST NOT SIT AROUND EXPECTING FOR THE PAIN IN YOUR HEART TO DIE. REALIZE THAT WHAT GOES AROUND ALWAYS COME BACK AROUND. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF FIRST. TAKE TIME FOR YOU. THEN LATER YOU'LL MEET SOMEONE WHO'LL BE FOR YOU.NOW, I HAVE A NEW MAN IN MY LIFE WHO SHOWS ME LOVE IN MANY WAYS. ACTIONS COUNT BELIEVE ME!!!!! THANKS TYRA.

Dear Tyra: I just got out of a six year relationship with the love of my life. At first he did every thing for me and then some. I never had to beg for anything. He could read my mind and he made me forget all the bad that was going on in my life at the time. Now it seems to be that we cant be together for more than a couple of hours. He put several thing in front of me. The other bad thing is that we had a daughter togehter and she is nothing without him. She love her dad so much that her world would not be the same. He does things to hurt me and doesn't think that it hurts her too. I am trying to get over him but dont know how. I try to go to the club or hang out with friends but that is not enough. I even try to spend time with him but he has to do things that just drive me nuts.Plus he is always trying to do something else (always with friends and without me). On top of it all it seems that he just uses me to get away from being at home by himself. So when the weekend comes he cant even call me. All he tells me is that he loves me and wants to change his life but wont make me first in his life. I dont know what he want to do with me or what he wants to do with his life. I want to be with him if we could stop the fighting and the fact the he doesnt do anything with me but pushs me to the side. What do I do? Do I find some one that can do for me what I want or do I stay single for the sake of my four year old daughter?

I'm going through a breakup now, it is very difficult. We have a son together, that is what makes it worse. What gets me through it is I know in my heart that it will never work out, so I will stick with my decision because I know I'm saving myself from continually being hurt. Life goes on...

seems like every woman has had her heartbroken. Broken Relationships can lead to low self-esteem esp. when the boyfriend is cheating.Just remember ladies it is something beautiful about all of us. You should love and understand yourself before entering a relationship and gaurd your heart in all you do , it is many deceiving men out there!

TRYA SHOW ROCKS!

Hi Tyra,

I am a 24 yr old female. I was dating this guy for about 6 mths (he was 51) I thought things were going pretty well, but then I found out that he was screwing me over with an older woman. Most would say I should've known better, but I never expected him to do me this way. I have always dated older men but with him it was different. We had such a strong connection (or so I thought) and it hurts like h*** that he was so selfish. Now he wants to try and go back to the way things were, but never once said anything about leaving the other woman. I can't say that I loved him, but I had a very strong liking for him, and told him things that not even my family members knew. I'm done with him, but I can't help feeling hurt and betrayed. This situation has caused me to become sooo numb......I don't want to date anymore for a loooong time. I trusted him and thought that because he was such an older man that he wouldn't have time for games....but I now know that being a "man wh**e" knows no age.

Tyra,My bfriend just broke up with me from a five year relationship. I went thru some of the stages. Im better now, I guess that is so cos a year before we broke up I had this other guy who was interested in me.While my ex was never there he comforted me.But the problem now is that my new boyfriend is not good in bed. Due to this I still miss my ex.I dont know what to do now cos my new boyfriend wants us to get married.

Hey Tyra,
I've been through all of those stages. Im only 18 and i was with a guy for four years and just broke up last summer,he cheated on me. And he still calls me like once a month and tells me he loves me and then he'll stop calling. I want to be over him,but i just cant if he keeps toying with me. What do i do?

Hi, Tyra
I was in a relationship with who I thought was my soul mate when I got pregnant. Everything seemed great, he said we would always be together and as soon as the baby was born he broke up with me. Now im 22 with a 6 month old daughter in my last semester of college and Im a single mom. Im so hurt that I gave my all to him and for him to just walk away from his child of all things. I could have handled a break up with him but for him to not even care for his child hurts the most. because she is the most precious and innocent thing and she doesnt deserve not having a father. I just dont know what to do, he was my world for the past almost 2 years and I just find myself thinking about him and everything I am going through everyday. I cant get him out of my mind. What should I do?

hi tyra,

i've experience a lo of trauma in a relaionship lately.. 6 months ago my 6 years boyfriend broke up with me for another girl who is older that us and already had a child, i accepted it since my ex is a bad boy type, so there is always a reason for me to get hurt in a relationship with him,a monh afer i me this guy in a summer class.. a reserve type of guy,i find him so interesting hat made me fall in love with him, i realized that he was a very nice guy and intelligent, a boy next door and very sweet..we had several hang-outs until he finally courted me..i was so in love with him, and i know he is too wih me.. he does things w/c my ex never did to me..we had a lot in common, and we had cherished every moment we apend together..we dont have any problems at all excep one week before our semestral break i ind him so cold in me..i tried to understand that there are some things that made him worried sometimes like school stuff and apartments..we talk about it and i thought were ok..hen suddenly right after our final exams.. he broke up with me for he says he's confuse..without telling me at all what made him confuse..my friend told me that he will talk to me a soon as he's no longer confuse..were supposed to be in our 6th month a week after our break up..and i was so depressed about this..i really wanted to talk to him about it..until now im still waitin for him to answer all the questions he le in my mind..no im struggling to move on without undersanding what had happened..

hi tyra,

i've experience a lo of trauma in a relaionship lately.. 6 months ago my 6 years boyfriend broke up with me for another girl who is older that us and already had a child, i accepted it since my ex is a bad boy type, so there is always a reason for me to get hurt in a relationship with him,a monh afer i me this guy in a summer class.. a reserve type of guy,i find him so interesting hat made me fall in love with him, i realized that he was a very nice guy and intelligent, a boy next door and very sweet..we had several hang-outs until he finally courted me..i was so in love with him, and i know he is too wih me.. he does things w/c my ex never did to me..we had a lot in common, and we had cherished every moment we apend together..we dont have any problems at all excep one week before our semestral break i ind him so cold in me..i tried to understand that there are some things that made him worried sometimes like school stuff and apartments..we talk about it and i thought were ok..hen suddenly right after our final exams.. he broke up with me for he says he's confuse..without telling me at all what made him confuse..my friend told me that he will talk to me a soon as he's no longer confuse..were supposed to be in our 6th month a week after our break up..and i was so depressed about this..i really wanted to talk to him about it..until now im still waitin for him to answer all the questions he le in my mind..no im struggling to move on without undersanding what had happened..

Reading the stages makes the wound feels fresh. I've been through of all them. I was going crazy back then. I lost my ex who used to be my bestfriend and my only buddy in the everything. I was kinda young and I didnt have a home to come to. I found all the love and comfort in him. Unfortunately, he was too immature and i guess i was also. He gave up our relationship after a year and two months. It felt like hell. I used to call him up, bugging him everyday and begged for him to come back. I ran after him but sadly he didnt give a damn. I felt so alone. I cried every single time when I think of him. And guess what? He was on my mind all the time. My friends were so tired of me crying and talking about him all the time. I was so afraid of being alone. I used to hurt myself just to avoid the pain inside my heart. I drank anything just to put myself to sleep. I used to wake up in tears and having pains on my chest. I didnt do well in school, i was always late or absent. I lost direction and i even lost myself. I lost passion in evrything. I also thought that I will grow old alone and no one will ever like me again. But guess what sisters? That aint true! Its just a phase and everybody will survive from that. Time heals everything. Have a strong faith in God, He was my bestfriend when i was really down. I used to talked alone in the room, praying to God. Believe in yourself! And one day, you'll get surprise of yourself because you are over him, feeling better or even happier than having him around. I am already happy! Very very happy. I have found someone who gave my life back. But you know what? No one knows I might go through these stages in the future again. Whats important is..... I BELIEVE IN MYSELF. I LOVE MYSELF. I LOVE GOD. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT LIFE GOES ON NO MATTER WHAT. ENJOY LIFE. CELEBRATE WOMANHOOD :)

Hi Tyra,

I'm writing because I need some serious serious help. I've been friends with my now ex-fiancé. We have been together for a year and a half. Tyra, I can honestly say that the first two months I was extremely happy. Then he let the cat out of the bag that he was having major problems with his son’s mother. This leaded into the courts having to take charge, by the time that he told me everything I had already fell for him. He know has told me that he kept these things from because he didn’t want me to get hurt, and that he thought he COULD handle it without, it getting out of hand that the way it did. Tyra, if you knew what I’ve been through in the last year and a few months, you’d ask why in get “HECK” did I stay. I never kept it a secret as to why or what would make me not get deep into a relationship. He always knew now I know why he kept things from me for so long. We ended up having premature twins and on top of all the things that he was going through, I guess it proves to me I’m not superwomen and can’t handle everything. I knew what I couldn’t/wouldn’t be able to deal with and did so, but ended getting hurt. I do agree that I’ve made wrong choices in this relationship, he sees it a different way. He doesn’t want to face that I don’t love or care for him the way I did in the beginning. I left this relationship so long ago; I don’t want to or know how to go back. He does the blame game (I feel), and I told him when you get into a relationship you take chances on love, you lose and you win, and in this case you lost. Tyra, I do love him and always will. I just can’t live to just settle for something, or except something that I was against in the first place, what can I tell him to make him realize we are “NO MORE”? Tyra, I feel like I've failed, I'm dumb, and feel disrespected. I really need advice please, Tyra!

Hey Tyra,

First i should start by saying that I am only 19. I was with my ex for 4 years, two years into our relationship, he cheated on me. I found out and stupidly I stayed with him. We went on for the next two years, but towards the fourth year of our relationship he started to act different, wasnt treating me right AGAIN! and because I know he needed me I stayed around hoping for change. Finally I got some sense and left him. We didnt talk for about 7 months, and then randomly one night when I was driving around lost I stopped a car for directions and he was in the back seat (talk about coinsidence) we started talking again because he asked if we could be friends, and now I dont know what I am feeling its like I still have love for him, but then there are constant reminders of the pain he put me through and then I hate him again. Now hes kind of staying with me, but its mostly because my mom loves him to death and she told me that if I told him to leave it would not be a nice thing to do. After reading the tips on your website I realized that I am not the only person who was feeling the way that I felt. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH

HAS ANY0NE ACTUALLY READ THiS BOOK? IM JUST CURiOUS BECAUSE I'M THINKING ABOUT BUYING..

Ola,

Got the chance to read all the messages about being hurt when you are in breaking terms with the Love that you thought is forever. I got rjected by a guy when i though seemingly is feeling the same way for me. I believe I love the Guy so thingking about him and seeing him just pierce me so deep inside. But thnks to Tyra for her wonderful words. It lightens a burden heart. Everybody goes through it and its cool im also now hurting but realizing that pain is inevitable.I alwys find reason to smile amidst all this.

thanks TYRa

Tyra im havin ALOT of trouble geting over my ex we just broke up like 3 days ago..im only 17 but we ended up living together i left my family for him all my friends and i dont think theyll even take me back im back home tho,the reason we broke up cause he pushed me around so i moved out and the cops are also involved,he was in jail for one day and there is this restraining order against him for 6 months hes not supposed to contact me or he could go back but tyra my heart is soooo broken right now im crying right now and the keyboard is getting blurry..im graduating this year but i have no idea how im supposed to focus on school i loved him more than anything he was my first bf first everything first kiss and i no what he did i didnt deserve it but still...I loved him more than anything in the whole world!!!I want him back so bad but i know that i HAVE to move on,ive been through all the stages except for 5,7 and 8 i dont no how ill ever accept this PLEASE HELP thanx
Your number one fan:Laura x0x0

For those of you who read this, im 18 years old. Ifirst fell in love when i was 15 years old. and i know it may seem a little young but i dont think real love has a specific age. well down to the point. Its been 1 year and 6 months that me and my ex boyfriend have been departed. I have never fallen in love the way i have with him. he was my first love. when we broke up my world was shattered and i never thought id be able to see the next day. especially becasue i woke up knowing noone was there outside my door loving me. He broke up with me in the worst possible way. telling me he didnt care, didnt love me, and everything i never thought i would hear him say. but then one month later he confessed to me in his last letter how that was all a lie. so i tried in some case to do something about it. We broke up becasue aty the age of 16 i got pregnant and had an abortion, now days it was the most life changing situation i have encountered. It was our decision in th ebeginning to not have the baby but then be4 we decided