WELL- I SAW YOUR SHOW WHEN IT AIRED AND I CAN HONESTLY RELATE TO THESE WOMEN. I AM THE EXACT SAME WAY- I CAN NOT CONTROL MY ANGER USUALLY- I GET VERY IRRITATED WITH MY KIDS- HUSBAND- FAMILY- EVERYONE REALLY. I KNOW WHY THOUGH- I LIVED WITH MY GRANDMA-WHO DID THE BEST SHE COULD BUT SHE ALSO HAD THIS ILLNESS WORSE THEN ME AND SO DID HER MOTHER AND MY MOTHER AND MY AUNTS. BUT I AM TRYING REALLY HARD TO CONTROL THIS PROBLEM BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE HOW TO TEACH THE OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS SET IN THIER WAYS THAT THERE IS A SIMPLER EASIER WAY TO DEAL WITH THINGS? I MEAN I KNOW HOW I GET- I GET TO THE POINT SOMETIMES WHERE ALL SOMEONE HAS TO DO IS LOOK AT ME WRONG AND I THINK - WELL- THEY MUST WANT TO FIGHT OR ARGUE- AND IF I AM ALREADY MAD- I WILL TAKE IT OUT ON MY KIDS AND HUSBAND- I GET EXTREMELY DEPRESSED AND UPSET- AND EVERYONE AROUND ME SAYS I HAVE NO REASON TO BE THIS WAY BUT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW TO BE. ANY HELP AND ADVICE WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. THANKS AND HAVE A GREAT DAY.I am just glad I am not alone with this. thanks to everyone else for sharing your problem too.

-Holli
Kentucky

Dear Dr. Keith,

Growing up, I have always seemed to have developed an attitude. Don't get me wrong, I'm a great guy, and most people see it that way, but I do have an anger issue. I believe it was developed throughout my childhood years as I was always being threatened by a step father figure, "When you're big enough, and man enough, step up." There was always something that I had to say that had frustrated me to the point of blowing up every time a different type of confrontation arises. When I was a kid, I've had a few emotional traumas as well. It started with my grandfather, whom died when I was about 12 or 13. Then it was my moms' best friend. Then slowly losing my grandma to diabetes and stroke just sent me over the edge. Since these instances of trauma, I've been "spoked", more or less, about how long I'm going to live. See, my problem is, I end up hitting myself when I start freaking out about death. It scares me to the point to where I'm causing myself pain, and leaving bruises across my face from punching myself. In a way, I'm beating the thought of dying out of my system. Well, now I'm with my girlfriend, and we start having confrontation that tend to get violent, but on myself. I would never lift a finger to hurt her, which is probably why I do hit myself. I'm not usually a controlling person, but this is the only way I can try and control my feelings to what's happening in my life. I'm from extremely happy at times, to extremely depressed. Just about anything can set me off to where I start zoning out and isolating myself from everything/everyone else. Being alone and not being remembered is one of the most things that I'm afraid of. But when I get down, I put myself in a virtual box, and keep myself there till it's alright to come out. It shouldn't be that way, and I don't know how else to deal with these types of things that bother me. There's not many people that I can talk to, and express myself, when I get out of control like this. I've tried talking to my parents and my girlfriend about my moods, and depressions, but nothing seems to change. How can I stop being so depressed and so angry? Like hitting myself, I also hit things. I've broken my right hand numerous of times hitting it on solid wooden doors, to banging my head on cement. I don't know what drives me to do it, or even how to stop doing the things that I do, because I know that one day I'll go over the edge and I won't be able to come back.

Dr.Keith
I have relized that i have the same issues as the ones that you described on your show. I do yell at my children alot and most of the time its nothing to do with them. I thank you for doing the show it makes you feel like at least someone understands what you are going through and it really is a illness. I am currently taking the steps to control my anger and learn how to deal with life in general. Just a comment for some of these people out here who disagree with you, all i can say until you have walked in my shoes dont try to understand what i am going through bc you never will truley know what me and many others go through everyday. Its not that we dont love our kids some of us like me just have to learn not to let everything bother us. Im happy that some of you can deal with your anger but dont put us that dont down or critize us for something that we arent.

I saw the "anger illness show which aired 12/1/06. Laughingly, I asked my son if they reminded him of someone? He shrugged and didn't answer. I also want to check the test that you have for this. Being a single mother of 3 boys, for whom I would do anything, I'm appalled at some of the things I do!! If someone else were to even think of saying/doing some of these things, I would STOP it. HELP!!!

I am a mother of a 6 year old boy. I live with my parents who yell at one another and at myself and my son. I also have just broken an abusive relationship with my son's father about 4 years ago.

My son and I are constantly fighting and yelling all the time. I go from bad to worse. I think I have gotten better over the years because I see what I have been doing but I just can't stop sometimes. I try to stop yelling but when my father and mother are both yelling at everyone in the house I start to go with the flow sometimes and it's hard to calm myself to stop yelling.

I know that my son is learning bad behaviors from myself and my parents. I try not to yell at anyone but sometimes my anger gets out of control and I just start yelling.

When I am under pressure I will go into my room and cry or if my parents won't stop nagging me I will just get mad and yell at them and sometimes right in front of my son.

My son just resantly told me that he didn't like his pappa because he's mean to me and sometimes to him. And sometimes he feels like hitting his pappa. I made up an exuse and told him that sometimes his pappa doesn't know that it's wrong to yell and be mean so that's why he does that. I also told him that it wasn't wright for him to want to hit his pappa because he needs to have respect for his pappa.

Just this morning my son missed the bus and I had to get mother to take him to school because I don't have a car. She didn't want to let him eat breakfast at home but at school, so she yelled at him and said "why aren't you ready yet", I told her that the reason why he wasn't ready was because she always ate breakfast in the morning and I expected for her to eat and I didn't think that it mattered if he ate breakfast this morning.

They always blame things on him for some of the things that I do. I don't like that and sometimes I don't speek up until it's to late and he gets yelled at and cries because he doesn't know how to take the abuse.

I want to get out of this house asap because it not only is influincing me to yell when I get angry but it is also influincing my child.

Dr. Keith,
I just watched your show on Anger Illness. Itoo suffer from this. In fact the story of the mother with the 14 yr old daughter, sounds just as it is for me and my 12 yr old son. I get so angry with him, sometimes over stupid stuff, typically small things and him lying. But Ilove my sonmore than anything and I feel so bad when I get so angry with him, it feels like something else takes over my body and makes me do things as I stand back feeling hurt for whats happening. I say things to him to make him feel bad, that really hurt him alot, I will call him names, I scream at him, and I have done things I would never do.
What is wrong with me?
t has gotten better than it was, once I realized how much hurt I was doing to him by saying the awful things to him, I was like "what am I doing" " I promised I would never do this to him".
I had a crappy childhood myself. I honestly dont remember much of my childhood at all, which reallyscares me to this day.......I dont understand WHY I cant rememebr anything inmy childhood except how things were between my mom and I. WHat happened to me that has caused me to forget it all? My parents divorced before I was born, Ilived with my mom and she refused to let me have a relationship with my dad until my senior year. My mom never told me she loved me, never hugged me. I never knew what it felt like to be loved at all, it hurt me so much to feel that. I craved being loved.
We fought all the time, she always accused me of doing drugs, drinking and sleeping around,none of which I was doing at all. I started smoking cigs at 14 to relax cause she stressed me out so, and started drinking inhigh school because I couldnt take it anymore. Somany times wanted to kill myslef because I knew she hated me. She even tried to get my aunt to adopt me when I was little because my mom said she couldnt take ME anymore, I was a bitch.
We fought so much, as I got older and started fighting back, she had me arrested for pushing her and then threw me into a mental hospital my jr/senior year- for over a month because she claimed it was all me. Nothing was her at all.
I then moved out after I got out. I promised myself I would never be that way with my child and that he would always know and feel loved and I do tellhim everyday Ilove him very much and I hug him, hes my life . I am all he has, I am divorced and his dad doesnt have anything to do with him, and he's hurt by that enough, he doesnt need me doing what I do and making himfeel even more insecure about himself.
I want to stop............PLEASE help me??
I want my son and I to have a great relationshp, get along and for himto feel he's truly loved and can come to me for anything..........now and always in his life.
Can you help me???

Angie

I watched your show today about anger illness. It really hit home. See, I have two kids of my own and one step child who is only three. I get angry at my kids all the time. Scream, hit and anything esle I see fit at the time. I hate my self for that. I love my kids very much and I don't understand why I keep doing it. My step son is a really nice boy but he is just a big old baby. When we tell him to do something he just cries about it. I get very upset at him and I just can't control it. I make him stay in his room so I don't do something that I regret. If it was up to me he would be in his room all day long. Me and my step son's mom do not get along. She has ruined my life and marriage. I hate her for that. Sometimes I think I do things to my step son because I hate his mother so much. But it is not his fault and I know that but I just can not help it. My husband seems to favor my step son over our kids and it hurts so much. His parents do it to. The way I see it they are grandparents and should treat all of thier grand kids the same. I wish every day that my husband will give his rights up to his son so we can have a good life together with our own kids. Am I just a awful person, or what?

Dearest Dr. Keith. I too am suffering from the Anger illness as you so intelligently put it. I regularly beat my children to no end. I have no remorse for the pain and agony i put these little c***suckers through.


I have smacked my son so hard in his face, that he turned from force before he hit the floor.
I have dropped my 5 year old son straight on his back because he demanded i let him down. I merely answered his request.
I lock my 1 year old son in his room all day, and scream obscenities to him.

I do all of this unmercifully, and with no holding back.

With all this said, I am a wonderful mother, and they couldn't ask for more.

Please address anger illness in men. My child is now 26 and he has been having anger issues all his life; he was dx with ADD in grade school, he is an adult with ADD.... what help is there for these men? Iam afraid he will never be able to have a relationship that is without some sort of abuse which stems from poor management of his anger.

I was reading the comments from those people that don't understand what we go through. It is so sad that they think we don't try to control it. After every time I lose it with my kids, I always say I am not going to do it again. But, dang it does happen and I feel worse then I did before. I wish I could be like them and not have this Anger Illness. They don't know how lucky they are. Instead of being critical, they should be sad for everything that they have with their families that we are missing. Thank you for being you.

i guess its better to
keep the problem a
secret than to risk
the wrath of the know]
it alls that have there own issues.
Take the children
away and give them
to people that sexually abuse them
and sometimes kill them. One never knows
where life will lead
them and every person
is capable of every
thing. Under the
right or wrong
circumstances. Walk
a mile in their shoes
before you judge.
If you hate something
enough God will give
you or curse you with
the exact thing that
you hate so that you
can see it through the
other persons eyes.

I just watched your anger illness show today and see myself in all the mothers. I have three children. my oldest and my youngest I dont have to many problems with. My twelve year old son I get angry and yell and call him names and he yells back at me, backtalks and is a smart aleck most of the time. he always says it isnt fair that I can tell him what to do and he cant tell me what to do. i know if i dont nip it in the bud soon he will be in trouble as a teenager.He disrespects me, wont listen to me and its tearing my family apart.Sometimes I get so angry because he keeps on going when he shoudl shut up and I smack him across the mouth or hit him on the arms and stuff. I dont want to be like that. Please help me. I dont want a hand out just some information to help myself. I have no insurance and cant afford to see a pshyciatrist. I am quick to get mad and angry and dont know how to stop I want to be a good mother but dont know how to stop being like I am. I need help. Could you please send me the tools I need to help myself so I can have happy productive kids. i know I hurt my kids but cant seem to help myself. I really appreciate anything you can send to me.

I am a mother of 3. I have two boys and a girl. They are 10 1/2, 7 1/2, and 3 1/2. There are times when I have to tell my boys to get away from me because I feel like I want to shove them into a wall. I try very hard not to spank my kids, but there are times that I will spank them and I feel like I don't want to stop. This usually happens when they lie to me or do something intentional to hurt one of the other kids. I don't like to feel this way and I don't want the kids to see me like that. I always feel so bad after I have yelled at the kids or spanked them. My ex-husban has had things thrown at him and he would always tell me that I had anger issues. I have tried talking to a therapist but it did not help. Any suggestions? Please help me help myself!

I too suffered anger problems. I was recently diagonsed Bi-Polar. The Key ingredients to well being has to be Therapy, Medication and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. No matter what is prescribed you must try and keep at it. I am now 43 and my son is 14 and I think I missed out on a lot. My family has noticed a big differece and keep in check with each other. It has changed my life to the extent that I was able to locate my biological family and meet them this summer.
Please encourage people to keep trying ... Do Not Give Up. Life can be good again.

I can relate with everyone on this topic. I started out as a single mom to a great kid who is now 9 years old. I used to feel like the worst mom in the world when my anger got out of control. I always felt as if I was not supposed to be someones parent. My son's nickname for me is miss yells alot. When I would loose my temper I always felt as if my eyes were going to pop out of my head and that my blood was boiling. It would start in my toes and go to my head. Nothing I could do would control it. I just had a baby 7 weeks ago and my worst fear is that both of my children will grow up hating me. My doctor has put me on Prozac which does seem to take the edge off quite a bit, and I now have a wonderful husband that also helps with the daily stresses of motherhood. It has helped so much having him in my life. I was not always like this, but did grow up with a dad that had an anger problem. He was not abusive, but did loose his temper and scream alot. No one can possibly live a happy life this way. I feel so terrible for the inocent children that have to deal with this in their lives. I just hope everyone having this problem in their lives seek help. It can get better.

I caught your show today because I know the red headed group. Reading the posts above I wanted to respond to the post about the mother not caring. Linda doesn't look it, but she is an older mother (late 50's?) and she has done as much as she can for Abby. She watched Mason while Abby went to school, Abby finished this school and doesn't have a job yet, that I have heard, she still lives with both parents. Linda bends over backward trying to help her, but Abby hasn't tried to better herself yet. Abby's dad also does everything he can, but nothing seems to be enough. I'm glad to see Abby getting help again, I hope the entire family goes to councelling as I see the enormous stress on all of them.
I also agree that anger is an emotion, I'm not sure you can call it a disease, they give names to too many bad behaviors anymore.

I am watching your show on Anger Illness and see myself in these women. One thing that I would like to bring up is that most of these women are single moms. I am not a single mom, but I do not get much help from my husband because of the hours that he works. I think in general women are taking on most of the responsiblities like wife, mother, maid and then continue to work 40 hours a week. We as women are tired. I find myself yelling at my kids, ages 6 and 3, in the evening when I am tired and overwelmed. I understand that a lot of women have this issue because of thier childhoods, or past relations but I think most of us moms just need more help with all that we deal with in life.

I just put my 2 year old down for a nap, and turned on the T.V. I think it must have been fate for me to turn on your show. I never really even watch T.V. I have been very angry for several months now, and it is only getting worse. I am very tired of being angry and bitter. Most of the time, it manifests itself on my children and my husband. I love my family very much, and I am concerned that my anger is destroying it. I don't know if the pressure of being a good mother, wife, co-worker, boss, etc. is causing my anger. I often think that I should have never gotten married or had kids. I would have been better off alone, because I am so selfish. It was good to see that other people feel the same way I do. I have been treated for depression before, and I guess I will go back for more treatment. What concerns me is that so many women these days are depressed. Why is that?

I am watching your show on Anger Illness right now. And although I am relieved that I am not the only woman experiencing this combination of stress, depression, etc. I have to say that my husband looses his temper much more violently than I do and curses at the children and almost has a blind spot in his memory that wipes out that he even did it. My husband is a wonderful man and we have been under a great deal of stress lately after moving to Oregon from Hawaii (after moving to Hawaii to care for my Mother during a terminal illness). But I am afraid that his anger blind spots could turn into abuse down the road. Is that possible?

Thanks.
Nicolle
Mother of 3, Loving Wife, co-anger illness sufferer & looking for help for all of our sakes.

I satarted watching the "Anger Illness" show today and could not turn the channel. I have been treated for 16 years for anxiety and depression. All that I have seen, I have been through. There is HOPE!!! My children are now 16, 18, and 20. They are amazing and well rounded individuals. I just want to let people know that there is light out there and please seek help. It just doesn't go away. I still deal with it every day.
Felicia

Dr. Keith...I am going to therapy biweekly,on medication for depression but I still suffer from this anger illness. I also suffer from Chronic fatigue/Fibromyalgia and possible perimenopause. my mom left when I was young and I have some other issues but I don't know how to get rid of my anger...I scream alot and sometimes my seven year old pushes back so I get even angrier. My husband also has an anger problem but sometimes at different times. I currently joined Al-anon due to the fact I grew up w/ alcoholism so it is Giving me some insight. I know I need help b4 it ruins my two boyz 8 and 3. Any advice?. Thanks sincerely, Nicole

Dr. keith
I was so glad to watch your show today, the mothers on your show made me realize i am just like them i get verry angry at my 3 year old and all she does is the things a regular 3 yr old does i dont get angry with other people like i do her i wish i could get help but i dont have the finances in order to do so so please if you could tell me tome things i can do to help myself i know this is about me i had a verry bad child hood and i cant let it go i have alot of issues with my past and i know thats why i am so angry i just dont know why i only take it out on my children please help me Dr. Keith.

I have just finished watching your show on anger illness and saw myself. I am the mother of a 9-year-old son and a 5-year-old daughter. I find that the guilt over my explosive behavior has taken its toll on me physically as well as emotionally. The rage comes on so suddenly that after I calm down I go into the bathroom to cry. I am terribly afraid of what this behavior has done and will do to my children. It is comforting to know that I am not alone, when that is what I often feel. Thank you for these shows and the insight they provide.

Oh my lord this is me. My anger gets real bad sometimes. I get no breaks no help. My 4 year old is out of control. My 3 year old is starting to act the same way please please help me.

Dr. Keith, I am not a mother, but I am terrified that I am pregnant. I KNOW I have the anger problem. I saw your show with the anger illness mothers, and I sat on my couch and thought, that's nothing compared to how mad and out of control I get.Ever since I can remember, I have been angry, depressed, and out of control. Even as a little child, I remember flying off the handle bars. I recently got married, and now I am realizing that was probably a mistake. I feel awful when I think about how I treat my husband. But when it's the heat of the moment, and I get p*ssed off over something, I turn into a monster and my patience flys out the window. I'm only 21 years old, and I don't ever see myself changing.

Dr. Keith,
I watched your show on Thurs. 11/9. I too suffer from this anger illness. I have for years. My children are almost grown and out of the home but my husband seems to get the brunt of it anymore. The outburst seem to come during my ovulation time and sometimes I can feel it coming on. I feel like I am two different people in the same body. One person trying to fight it and the other one exploding all over everyone. Sometimes the guilt I feel about it is so consuming that I hurt myself afterwards. I am so distraught by my words and my actions that I cant see where I deserve to have happiness. Sorry for venting but thank you for listening

I just want to thank Dr. Ablow for bringing this illness to light. I most defintely have this illness. Stay at home Mom 2 wonderful kids, great life, amazing family. I don't even know how I have this or how I got it, but I am on my way to find help. Can SO relate to every story.

I watched your show today on the anger illness and boy did I tear up. It was myself all the way. I have a 5 yr old boy named Mason who is a great but angry child. I love my boys lots but I'm a out of control-angry mother who needs help. This house is totally chaos and I can't take it anymore. HELP!!!

I started to watch the show thinking I was going to see people with real problems. Maybe I'm the crazy one, but a lot of the problems seem to stem from bad *ss kids. I know Mason was only 5, but since when do you allow your child to kick you? While I know we didn't see all of the tape, I never saw her get angry with the infant, only the child that was old enough to understand sit down and didn't. The woman with children ages 9 & 13? How old do you have to be to understand "sit your *ss down and eat?" Dr. Ablow, do you remember when you were a child? Remember when, if you acted up, your parents could beat the sh*t out of you in public? No, it may not have been the best thing in the world to do, but I don't remember hearing about any schools getting shot up by p*ssed off teenagers back then either. Maybe all of this anger comes from parents having their hands tied when it comes to discipline and thier children. This comment may seem like an unfocused rant, but only because it's so frustrating watching people like this on television. One question though; where are all the men? Not only do most of these women seem to be single mothers,you can't tell me that this doesn't happen with men as well. Hell, my wife would say that I suffer from all f those "Sympttoms".

Hello,
my name is Crystal, and I could definatlely relate to the anger illness episodes! I am 18 years old, I have a 10 1/2 month old and have been through a lot of issues with my parents that, watching the show, have been wondering if maybe that's why I get so angry. At first, when my son was born, I was irritable and now that I am used to him, I am much better, but I still get angry with hom somethimes and when I get angry, I explode, anyone would tell you that. It's really embarrising, I blow up in front of anyone, anywhere, and I'm so tired of it. I throw things, hit my boyfriend, he's the one that makes me the madest most recently, because he's not helping me with our son when I need him to. I mean he does financially, but not physically, when I need him to help me with cooking or laundry, or just taking care of him when I am busy. I have to nag at him over and over to get him to help me and I think that's what makes me explode so bad. We yell at each other and I hate it because I don't want our son to hear it!, but I don't know how else to get throught to him what I need from him. I've graduated high school while pregnant, and have pushed myself through passing my test to become a Real Estate Agent, now I'm starting my career and I know I'm going to need more help from him, and I'm so scared I'm not going to get that, and things are going to get worse, and my anger will be uncontrollable, much like it has always been. I've went to therapy for about a month, once a week for trust issues i have with people and for my anger problems, but I don't have insurance, so it just got to expensive to keep going, is there anyway you guys could help me???? PLEASE!!!

Thanks,

Crystal Allen

I was able to watch the first half of you show today and I can relate to it very well. I have had depression in the past and believe I have it now but my husband refuses me to take anything to help me, if I do, he will divorce me. Can you tell me is there any help???

This is the commet from todays show it was good for the first time i seen your show but rember its not just the adults here that have hard times its also the children. I have 3 godkids and they have been put threw it and i seek out help for all of us. I have 12and a half years in recovery from achole and drugs i made it this far and that more than there own parents have done so i will sujust this show to the boys when they come home from school today. We will survive we do believe in a power greater than ourselves. That is GOD will answer our prayers after all for some reason i watch your show today it really open my eyes to just how far this could go if i allow it. They still are children. Thank you so much for being on TV> today for me. Sharon-Calif.

Dr. Keith,
I am not questioning your professional opinions, however you must not have any kids of your own. The way you were lecturing the red headed lady about her anger seemed misdirected. Instead of making them feel wrong, you could instead help inform us parents how to get our kids to behave. You just cant let your child do whatever they want because you fell guilty. When your child is 13-14 or more importantly 18, and acts up or disruptive in public the police are not going to stop them and say "whats wrong? why are you mad?" Nope they will slap the cuffs on and take them to jail. You must not let you child be the parent, only the parent can be the decisor.

I just found out about this wonderful show when watching the TODAY show. I was extremely moved by the Anger Illness show. My heart goes out to the mothers and their children. I can only hope that they benefit from the councelling they receive. God Bless you all.

Hi Dr. Keith. I wish your program had been on 2 years ago! Fortunently I have gotten help for myself and my family. I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder (not anger illness) I spent a week in the hospital. At the time I went into the hospital I was so angry and in fear I would hurt my family. I had visions in my head that I would and could hurt them. I was just like the guests on the show. I yelled, flew off the handle at the slightest thing, I punched walls or doors, etc...Luckily with professional help and support from my husband and 2 girls I feel 100% better. I went thru intense counseling/therapy and was taking medication. I have since stopped the medication but still go to counseling on occasion. Having my husband for support is the most important. He talks me thru the hard times. I know everyone is different with their feelings and emotions, but for the sceptics, this is a real thing! Thank you for the show!
Jenni

Dr.Keith,
When I lived in WI I was a Marriage & Family Therapist who offered Anger Management seminars to the general public. I found there was great interest in this topic.

Please include more of the family dynamics (like on today's show when a husband was key in helping the mom take her own time out).

Also please include some basic parenting - most of the moms were in a power struggle with their kids. Once they identify this process and recognize their need to reposition to the structure/rule setting position instead of arguing/power struggling with their kids, they can regain a better position.

Clearly, you have excellent training! I am impressed with how well you handle dynamics, honor your guests, and assist to move them to a different position. What a relief instead of some of the other "celebrities" who are not properly trained!

BTW - I have the opportunity to watch the show only because I'm recovering from a motorcycle accident.

Keep up the excellent work!
Kathy

I am a 47 yr old mom of an 11 yr old daughter and 9 year old son. They are the light of our lives, but I feel that they will also grow up with the same anger. I have such anger almost all the time. When I saw the show today, it made me cry because I saw myself in these women. I lash out at the kids for no apparent reason sometimes. I call my daughter and son some of the most horrible names, tell them that I hate them, (which I don't) and it makes me wish for my own death. Sometimes I get so angry at my kids that I'll even say things like "You're acting just like your snobby friends in school. And they get it from their stuck up parents." I say these things with venom spewing from my mouth. After I say it, I don't know how to take it back. I try to apologize to the kids and explain to them that mommy has some really bad days and I say things that I don't mean. My daughter has taken to defending me to her brother. But then in other incidents she says how much she hates her life. I know it's because of the things I've said and done in her life. I feel so bad and than I'm ruining their lives.
I am currently on anti-depressents and trying to find a counseler to talk to and get help.
Thank you for putting a name to what I thought was my own inner problem.

I have the anger illness. I didn't know so many people had this. I yell and have so much anger not only to my kids but my husband too. I am currenly taking depression meds. but it is not working. I don't know what else to do.

Dr. Keith,

I believe I may have an anger problem. This is very hard for me. I was just watching the show and it was almost like I seen myself. That scares me. My 9 year old daughter is everything to me. She cries (literally over everything). When she cries its like I loose all self control and I start screaming and throwing things. I love her very much and I would never hurt her. Please help me to overcome this issue. Sometimes I think she is scared of me. I lover her so much, but when the cring starts I can't take it anymore..... Please Help Me!!

Wow, This morning I had just gotten done with yelling at my 7 year old son because he let someone at school bully him for his last $5.00. I completely flipped on him telling him that he shouldn't have given in so easily, he needed to stand up for himself and etc... I find myself screaming at my children alot and if they dare cry I'll shove or smack them for crying. I have so much love to in my heart and so much compassion for my children but if they dare lie to me or do or not do what they are supposed to I feel my temperature rise, my heart starts to beat really fast and to try and control it I find myself biting my lower lip. I do admit that it can be damaging to my children and I want the very best for them which is why I am writing this, I acknowledge that I need help because I wouldn't want them growing up the same way I did in a very physically, emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive household.
Please help me :(

i am watching todays show and i see the first mom and i saw myself. im not a single mom but you might as well call me that. i do everthing. i have a four year old and a 13 month old. i always try to blame my anger on having no help with the kids. but watching her i see myself. i am angry and i dont know why. help me dr. kieth.

After watching your show and seeing myself I am truely embarrassed with myself. I have been acting this way my entire life. And my children are suffering for it. I am a single mother with 4 children and I don't have a "relationship" with them. I don't know how to "talk" to them. All I do is degrade them and yell at them. I do have ALOT of anger built up in me and don't know how to control it. Please keep this issue alive. Thank you.

I need help and fast! I work at a daycare with infants and I'm currently trying to have my own baby. I know I have a problem but thought I had it under control but recently my life went out of control and I have become worse. I feel like I can not stop and the real me is screaming inside for help. I love kids and want to open my own daycare but need to get this under control before I will allow myself alone with infants, I don't think I would hurt them but I feel like I have no patience lately and i just want them to stop. Please help me, I do not want to have to go on drugs.

Dr.Keith
Finally , someone is speaking out about a terrible illness which I thought there was nothing to do about .Your show has help me to change this problem. Now I know it's an illness not something caused by my family.Just recently I have been noticing the same cycle w/my kids. Now , I will be working w/them to give them all the help they need to stop the cycle of the terrible illness that doesn't let you live.

Sincerely yours, Lupe

Hi Dr. Kieth.
I usually don't watch your show,but yesterday I saw the commercal for your Anger Illness show and I thought I should check it out. All of the women I saw on your show are mothers,so I had a little trouble relating to them in that way.I'm only 20. But I do worry that when my husband and I do have children I will mistreat them. My parents weren't there for me and my brother,and we weren't raised in "normal" settings. My grandparents raised us, and my grandmother was extemely angery and abusive (physically & verbally). Now as I've gotten older I've started to notice these tendencies in me. It makes me very unhappy. I often get infuriated with my husband over absolutley nothing, but I don't know what else to do. I just worry about having kids at all. I don't want to have any if I can't treat them right. God knows we don't need any more messed up people in this world. But having a happy family is really the only long term dream I've ever set for myself,and I don't want my anger to ruin that dream.

~Peace~
*^Leah^*

Dr.Kieth,
I just got through watching your show. My child just left my home sunday. Child protective services is involved because she wnt to school and said I choked her and banged her head in the wall. I did not do these things to her. But she is so afraid to live in my home because of the explosions, she is afraid I am going to hurt her. I am afraid that I have damaged her for life..i have called her dumb stupid ...told her i cant stand her...i hate her stupid *ss. When she does something that is stupid to me I go off!!! Before I know it I am cursing at her and even hitting her. She is so afraid she lied to get out of my house. Is it too late? My daughter is 12 I have another daughter that is 5. She doesnt make me soo angry..but i yell and spank her too. Can you help me so that I can save my family. I am african american and would like to see african american woman on your show talking about this. Many people in our culture feel this is excepted..generations of angry woman raising children. I am a functionally depressed woman. I have been depressed so long I dont even rememeber when I was happy. My 12 year old says she remembers but it was when she was a baby. Please, Please, help...my daughter is already gone. Help me save my self so I can help my 5 year old and my 12 year old because now she is angry!!!!!-Generations of angry Black woman raising angry Black children.

Dr. Keith
thank you for adressing this issuse. I have had anger illness for some time but, I have also been diagnosed with sesonal depression. I have found my self yelling at the kids alot and when I get angry I can feel it coming on but can not stop it. I have a son that is a teenager and two younger ones the youngest is dign. with ADHD which has caused strain on the whole family. But is just as hard on him. The support is not always there usally it getts put on "the mother" when the kids act up to the point that now that I am recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and can not physicaly do things the yelling has gotten worse. I need to stop for my kids and my husband but more improtantly I HAVE to stop for ME. I find my self in so much pain most of the time that I just can't tollerate when they can't give me the support or help me with the house. I find my patience is getting less and less and when I have tryed to stop yelling they keep telling me to "stop yelling" even when I am not yelling and just talking to them. It is almost like they think that I'm yelling (even when I'm not) just because I have for so long. I need advice, help I have got to get this under control soon!!!!!!!

I can see myself in everyone of your guests on the show today Dr. Keith. I would like to be like the mom who got help and is doing so much better now. I know there is no magic cure, but I want to do better. I have 3 children ages 15, 12, and 9. My daughter who is 12 Tessa, is the one I feel is most like me when I was a kid, and I find myself being alot harder on her than my son and my younger daughter. I love all of them so much. I am a stay at home mom, and I want to be, but I find myself wondering if I am being a benefit to them at all, if I feel angry so much of the time, my anger is not limited to my children, I am also very rude and angry with my husband, even when he doesn't say anything. Please help me find the help that I need. I pray everyday for guidance, and I feel that God wants me to seek help. I feel that He lead me to watch your show today.

I saw you today on the "Today" show. I noticed that I feel like the woman in the video. I have two kids and I feel like all I do is yell and scream. I sometimes say
"I feel like my mom is coming out in me" because growing up it seemed like all she did was scream about stupid things. I thought my oldest son was the one with a the problem that he might have ADD/ADHD and just couldn't listen. He has started seeing a psychiatrist but now I am thinking its me and not him! Dr. Keith do you have any recommendations for me?

dr keith, your show just about blew my mind!!! I have a chronic back injury which causes pain, 24-7, i'm also a single mother of two, who has to be everything. So you can imagine the stress and anxiety brought on by daily situations. I am a very good mom most of the time, but when the rage comes out, I really go at it. My 14 yr old son is the one who gets the direction of this anger. All he has to do is say something in a tone or look at me a certain way and out it comes. I was constantly raged at when i was a child and it feels like it is not only a learned behavior but passed down thru DNA. Does that make any sense? I have learned how to work through this fury sometimes but not having any support or anyone to help take some of the pressure off of me has truly been overwhelming to say the least. And I tend to take it out on my son. He is a wonderful young man but i see him treating his 11 yr old sister in the same way. I live in a place where I cant seem to find the right resources to help me with this. So I continue to struggle with this on my own. Luckily God has guided me to raise my children in a positive and loving manner. They are very respectful and have won "the most mannered" award at school. So I know I'm not doing too bad, but when that switch gets flipped I know my kids get scared and of course afterwards i feel such incredible guilt that the depression cycle just keeps going round and round. I have gotten better from my own self-awareness,sense of integrity, and just plain ol' love for my kids. All you other people who are struggling with this behavior just keep the faith. I have found a little bit of faking it till you make it works sometimes in creating a more positive enviornment. Thank You for your show, I feel like I'm not such a freak alone in this world with intense, ingrained anger inside of me. I wish I knew what else to do to control this so I can stop passing this behavior on to my children. God be with you.

I too suffer from the anger desease, but I have already passed it to my two young adult daughters. Now that I am on depression meds I am able to control myself, but my oldest daughters is explosive and often. I would like to know what I can do to help them both get the assistance needed to begin the healing process. I do not want them to pass this horrid desease to their children as it was passed to me by my parents. Are there books or tapes I can get for us to work through? It could be the best Christmas present I could ever give them.

Thank you for letting us know we are not alone and that it can be stopped.

Sincerely,

Donna
Texas

I think it's oversimplifying to suggest that mothers who are so angry suffer from "anger illness" that is caused by anxiety or depression. The fact is that being a mom is a very difficult role. There is so little support available to help us be the best moms that we can be. And, women go into motherhood completely unprepared to deal with how scary it is to be responsible for another human being. We are so exhausted taking care of others that we don't have time to take care of our selves. We don't need tharapy and medication, we need support and understanding from the community.

I truly believe my sister and her husband are suffering with this problem. I think that possibly depression/anxiety play a part in her sisation. I encouraged my sister to seek couseling, which she has. The problem is that her husband is unwilling to admit a problem, making it even more difficult for her to work on the issues within their household. What advice should I give her? I'm concerned about the entire family.

Dr. Keith,
thanks for putting a name to this out of control behavior. I am a step-mom to a wonderful boy
who just turned 12. i often wonder how can I help him, in protecting him from his own mother. i see now that she is an angry person...but most of the time, i feel sorry for her. she seems so sad, and it comes out in an angry ways ...she's insulting and out of control. it's very difficult to deal with her. as her son grows old, he too has had anger issues and she blames her dad....saying her son inherited from him...he gets bullied at school and is very sensitive. i fear he unmannered behavior is harm he son. I fear that this behavior will now be passed on to his sister.

I experienced this illness my entire life. I had to break the cycle and did so about 13 years ago. These women are not alone. You can get help and life can be better. Trust me it happened to me. Get the help and work through it.

Today's show made me cry and cry!! I have the same thing. It is amazing to me at how many woman have it. I really thought it was only me. I have a 7 yr. old daughter and a 3 yr. old son. And they know what buttons to push. For the most part I am a very calm and caring mother but when they push and push and push I just loose it. I curse, scream, throw things and just degrade them. It always makes me so sad. I really try hard not to do that, I think of it as the Hulk!! That is what is seems like!! I absolutly HATE it!! My dad had a very bad temper when I was young and I do notice that alot of my actions take after him, and I think of how I felt when he did it to me and I just cry. It is not fair to my children at all. I want to STOP it NOW!! I see both of my children getting the same temper. It really scares me and breaks my heart. I love them soooooo much, this is the last thing I wanted to happen. I need help!! How can I get help when we don't have very much money. That is the only thing that keeps me from getting the help that we need. Please, I am begging for help!!

dr.keith, I have the anger illness..I have rage anger..I yell all the time at my kids and hubby..I say hurtful things that i dont mean..I cry afterwards..my kids are scared of me when i act that way..just little things they say or do make me mad..I can see signs in my youngest daughter that she could develop this.shes always mad..I would love to get some help for this but dont know how to go about it..I dont want to lose my family..plz give me some advise..tyvm

I AM SITTING HERE WATCHING THIS AND I AM SO SURPRISED THAT THIS IS LIKE WATCHING MYSELF..I SCARE MYSELF SOMETIMES,I HAVE 5 CHILDREN OLDEST 13 AND YOUNGEST 22 MONTHS. I FEEL SO OUT OF CONTROL THAT MY NECK AND HEAD HURT JUST FROM TENSING UP ALL THE TIME,AND MY 13 YEAR OLD SAYS THAT HE CANT EVEN TALK TO ME WITHOUT ME HOLLARING...I KNOW HOW THOSE WOMEN FEEL,I EVEN LOCK MY SELF IN MY ROOM TO ESCAPE WHEN MY HUSBAND IS HOME..

Dr. Keith:
I don't know about you, but what I saw was inexcusable. Those people should be taking steps to abate this problem, long before they harm a child. Anger is NOT an illness, it is an emotion which needs to be controlled by the individual. To call anger an 'illness' is to give an excuse for adult behavior which is patently INEXCUSABLE!! Those people, especially those who harmed their children, should be locked up, just like any other child abuser, because that's really what they are.
Sincerely,
Chris "DTTBR"

Dr. Keith, I saw you on the Today show this morning, and therefore tuned in to your show today. This is my daughter-in-law!!! I thought she was just mean and over-reactive to her children, but now I know there is help for her! I have recoreded todays show for her with the hope she will see she is not alone and there is hope for a peaceful relationship with her three children. Thanks for bringing the this terrible illness to light.

Phyllis in Texas

Anger Illness. This is very real.....How can I find help to deal with this for my family where I live. This has affected us for years. Please help.

I am outraged as I watch this show about 'anger illness.' These women do what they do to their children because they can. Let me tell you, as a mother who buried her oldest son just one year ago, these woman don't have a clue what anger is. Those of us who have lost children are sickened by the rights these women give themselves to act in a manner that they KNOW is inappropriate and yet they fail to seek help for it. I am sick of hearing the excuses. There is NO RAGE greater than the rage one feels when they bury a child. If I can wake up each and every day and manage to go to bed at night without having hurt anyone then so can they. I have to watch you mothers at the grocery store, bank, school and everywhere else and it only brings me greater anger and pain because I have to watch you treat your children like crap and I can do nothing but cry for them. If you were going to get beat everytime you treated your child without respect and love I can guarantee that you would stop. I am not suggesting that anger illness does not exist, I believe it is complete negligence by the parent not to seek help for it. It's the same way I would feel about an alcoholic or drug addicted parent that fails to get help. Stop it or loose your kids, it's just that simple. And I'm not sorry to say so.

I happened to see Dr. Keith on the Today show and could not believe it - they were talking about me!! I have been battling with this my whole life. Now I have two children. Just yesterday I blew up at my 8 year old daughter while doing her homework and called her stupid! I can't believe I let it get to that level and am so ashamed. I need help.

Lisa - Florida

Dear Dr. Keith,
I was fliping through the channels on my T.V and found your show on Anger Illness. Oh my GOSH!!!!! Finally! Someone understands!!!!! I have been looking for help for years.

Hello Dr. Keith-

I am currently watching your anger illness show. I am 23 and in a serious relationship that will hopefully develop into marriage. This show impacted me because that is one reason I am scared to have kids. I have the same symptoms as many of these women: no patience, bottling things up until I snap, etc. I have wanted to go to a counselor for some time now, but my health insurance makes it very difficult and I can't afford it on my own. I just wanted to say that your show is wonderful, because of the serious and difficult issues you cover. It's nice to know I'm not crazy, and there are others out there who are suffering too. Thank you.

Hi Dr. Keith,

I was watching your show today about anger illness my sister is going tru the same problem. I have asked her to go and get some help she hates one of her sons and is angey with everyone at some time she doesn't act that way with me I think because she doesn't know how I will react back to her. Her kids are doing things to get in alot of trouble. She has told my nephew that is 15 to get out of the house, she also tried to have him and my niece arrested. She has been tru so much that I know that she needs help she spent 14 years in prison and she had things happen to her before she went to prison she has a good heart, she is a good person and I know that she loves her kids, she says things to them and they say things back which are so hurtful to each other there is so much going on that it will take along time to explain everything can you please tell me where I can get her and the kids some help because they too are going tru something they did not have there mother for 14 years and they don't know each other please help us.

Thank You
Very Much,
Anna

I can not believe how much like the moms on the anger illness show are like me. I can do nothing but cry. I am seeing a counselor for ange rbut I know I still have a long way to go. I don't want my children to hate me or be dcared of me. Sometimes I see the fear in their eyes and it cuts to the core. I love my children more then life they are all of me. It is reassuring that there is help out there and knowing that you are not the only one, I hope myself and others get all the help and get better for our childrens sake.

My 5 yr old son suffers with ADHD. I suffer with the anger illness. i am a single mom, and a student stuggling to find a career. i have very little patience. I do and say things to my son that I regret all the time. I know that I need to get help, and this show today has helped me understand that I am not alone and that I need to get help now, or my temper is going to lead my son to hate me.

my daugther is very angery mygrand children are in verbal abuse. my daugther is having to live with my brother because of a divorce. a bad one. i live in texas she lives in ind.

Dr.Keith,
I watched your show on anger illness and I know these peolpe need help but I feel until these woman can get proper help they should seperated from these children. Where is DSS to stand up for these children. I was so Upset watching what these kids were going through.I think your show is Great as for helping these woman. It really wakes the public up to that this sort of thing is going on. Thanks for doing the Show!!

I to struggle with the anger illness. I just happened to watch the show today. It was like looking in a mirror. I lose it when my two year old won't lesson to me and then I sometime lose it. Yes I hate to admit I have spanked her also for not minding. I try timeout but is does not work. I have a 13 year old nephew who we have guardianship of who is behaving very bad. To the point it is becoming phyical. We are tring to get him help but it is very hard. He only does it to me. Calls me names,lies, and won't mind on doing chores. His committ is that I don't care, you get to personal, I liked it when I could do what I wanted and doing no chores.

I'm watching the episode today on Anger Illness and I have to say, it hits home.
I'm a divorced mother of 5 and involved in a long term relationship with the father of the 2 youngest children. My oldest daughter is 13 yrs old and when I saw Tiffany's story, all I could see was myself. I constantly berate her and fly off the handle at just about anything she does. If she talks too much, I tell her to shut up, she's annoying me. If she doesn't do her chores the way I want them done, I scream at her and make her redo them. She's constantly grounded because, although she's super intelligent, she has no common sense-according to me-and doesn't learn from previous mistakes.
I feel all that I do is scream at her and that it seems, to her, nothing she does is good enough. Yet, I find myself telling everyone, that she's a good kid with the biggest heart of anyone I know. I know this, I know she's a good kid, but I can't seem to control my anger at the stupid kid stuff she does.
But, when my partner starts to complain to me, or yell at her, I can feel myself becoming bitter, because, she's my kid, and while she's not perfect, I love her and who is he to pick on her? It makes no sense. Why can only I be angry with her? and Why am I angry with her all the time?
The physical symptoms you were asking about are all there. When it' coming on, my heart starts to race, I feel panicky and all I can think about is getting away. I have been diagnosed as having depression and while that plays a part, I'm sure, I believe it's a by-product of MY childhood. I'm an adopted child. The middle child and older sibling to a mentally and physically disabled brother. I felt, at the time, that I was a workhorse and that's the only reason I was adopted. My mom was an angry person and constantly berated and ridiculed me, even in front of my friends.
I know this is a vicious cycle and I really don't want to pass this on to my children. I can already see it happening when my oldest daughter doesn't think I'm paying attention. She takes out her frustrations and rage out on the little kids, none of whom can't really fight back. My twins, who are 9, both have Down Syndrome, and my 3 yr old and my 16 mos old don't understand why she's like that. They retalliate with yelling and sometimes hitting back, but they're no match for her anger, which can rival mine. How do I stop this and help her to stop the cycle as well?

Dr. Keith,
I just wanted to personally thank you for your show on anger illness today. I am currently engaged and plan on starting a family in the future. However, after seeing previews for this show, I was a little concerned with me being a mother and the fact that I may be like this towards my children. About 5 years ago, I was diagnosed with depression and it was of the angry sort. I can still recall flying off the handle, for what seemed like no reason at all, and being just angry all the time. I was treated by a therapist and with medication, however, the fact that I have dealt with this, worries me about my future. I still to this day consider myself a "time bomb" and at times feel like my moods are way out of whack when I am under stress. I have discussed your show and my feelings with my fiance and I have DVR'ed your show today and plan to watch it with my fiance. Thank you so much for bringing to light what most of us women thought was something that was just part of life and couldn't be controlled.

Angie

Anger Illness- this topic hit home like lightning. I have very horrible anger illness- I have a 13 year old that is the best son anyone could ever ask for-he is a blessing that I do not deserve-he saved me from taking my own life. Always does and he is told and never gets in trouble but yet i find myself yelling for no reason at him all the time and calling him horrible names. I get so angry that I know that I have traumitized my son. I have even thrown knives at him and beat him so horrible for no reason. The worse part is even when my anger passes he still comes looking for me to hold me and tell me its going to be okay. My son now 13 years old and he has been dealing with my anger as far back as I could remember. I hear him praying at night asking God to help me. I have not got any help afraid that they will take my son away from me. He is all I have and I hold him and tell him I am soo sorry but I have been apologizing all his life to him that I feel even worse- he is such a perfect child does as he is told, always checks in, gets good grades but yet even though he tells me he 'forgives' me it still hurts. There has been times that we talk and I tell him I going to have him stay with my sister or his grandmother because I get so angry that any little thing he does that I am scared for him. But he starts to cry and tells me that when he was small he promised he would never leave me and he will be okay and that he will just have to pray harder. I just want to change to give him a better life and the mother he deserves. He tells everyone I am the best mom and he knows i am there for him at anytime. We are each others best friends and we get along great and everything is good until I explode. He has the weight of the world on his little shoulders and I just need to change - I do not want this to be all he remembers of his mother when I am gone.

I just finished watching your show and like what every woman said on that show is what I am feeling and dealing with everyday, every minute of my life. I too need help with this anger illness, just yeterday my oldest called me "psyco", I haven't stopped crying since because I know deep down its the truth.

I HAVE THE ANGER ILLNESS DR KEITH! TELL ME WHAT I CAN SO TO GET HELP?

As a child I was bullied because I was small and the youngest in the family. I never really learned the right way to win a argurment. I was always told that what I thought did not matter because I was the youngest and I that I got to much attention so my feelings were not as important as everyone else.As an adult there is alway the feeling that what I need is not as important as the rest of the member of my family. So I do without and there are times that I can not take it anymore so I get very angery but dont' know the right thing to say or do to get my point across .

I have been angry all my life, I remeber as a child taking it out on my animals. I never wanted to have children, I was afraid that I would hurt them. I was abused as a child. Over the years I have managed to keep my anger under control. I have a 10-year-old son. For the past couple of years my control has begun to slip. I have been in a relationship with a man for 5 years, he has a 13-year old son. I feel I am completely out of control now. I can't work, I am obsessive, I want to hurt his son, and him. My son is afraid of my behavior and when I start to yell, he tells me to stop, to let it go. He should not be playing peacemaker and I am terrified that I will lose control completely. I have asked my significant other to pick up his son and take him to work with him so I am not left with him, he won't. He has been leaving work early all week to spend time with his son and I am ready to explode. I am miserable and don't recognize myself. I have the shakes, my heart is racing, my mind doesn't rest, I have nightmares. I have just started medication, but I am afraid I will lose control completely soon.

I just caught the end of the show today, but I think, from what I heard and saw at the end of the show and the information on this site, that I might be suffering from this anger illness. My son was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 3. Before he was diagnosed I thought Something was wrong with me because I couldn't control him and I would lose my temper so easily and was frusterated so easily. I felt ashamed of the way I felt so I sought medical attention for both of us. After he was diagnosed I thought things would change (as far as the way I was feeling). Well, he is 7 now (on meds and going to counseling) and I am also going to counseling....and I don't feel any different. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder, and possible social phobia disorder. So, maybe I'm just stressed or it's these problems...but...I still lose my temper (w/ my kids) so easily. I just snap and yell at them for small things and then I feel bad so I apologize. I don't spank too much, I hate the physical punishment. But sometimes when I lose my temper I'll grab my son's arm and a few times I have smacked him in the head and/or on his check. I try very hard to control my force if I ever touch him, so I barely touch him if I do smack (for the fear of hurting him) but just the concept of the action bothers me. I do a lot of yelling and screaming, my throat gets sore sometimes. I don't know if this is the same as the women on the show, but I can relate to a lot of what I heard and read. Making this public makes it easier to acknowledge and seek help, you don't feel so alone. Yet, I still feel ashamed and embaressed to even say these things out loud, let alone writing it.

How can you help a friend? Or what if you see this when your out? It's scary. I feel so bad for a lack of a better word for the children. It makes me sick and angry - but I don't hit anyone or scream at them.

Thank you - I heard you on the Today Show - listening in my car on the way to work. It was an eye opener for me. I have a (almost) 3 year old little boy name Mason - and when i heard the Mason and his Mom on your show - It sounded like my Mason and myself. I need some help and I realize it now. I am listening to your show now at work on the radio. THANKS

my sister has it - my mother had it. but the good news is that I don't see it at all in my nieces. the cycle can be stopped. I find myself having it at times by relize it and then try to stop it and acknowledge it.

I caught the very end of your show on Anger Illness. I do not beleive theres a simple solution to cure it. It's more lifetime journey of one's soul. First and foremost is to acknowledge there is a problem. Then with counseling there can be a release from the grips of anger. I also believe its complex and that it requires alot of changes in one's self.

I am so upset with the mother on tv, what is wrong with her mother that she is letting her do this to her child. She is lucky social services doesn't take her child away. Why does she think he is acting like this, I wish I could be there for a day. The baby wan't crying so put the baby down and try talking to your son without screaming. I know she needs help but watching that, I can't believe she thouoght that was okay. I am so upset with her mother not interveneing. I watch kids all day and would never treat my child or anyone elses like she is.

I was really stricken by the show today. I finally feel that there is hope for me. I am a mother of three children 1, 2, and 3 years old. I try my best to keep my anger in check but sometimes it just explodes out of me. It mostly takes the form of yelling, swearing, and trying to intimidate my kids into doing something. On ocassion I throw things - such as throwing a bottle into the sink or dirty clothes into the hamper. My husband is away working in another city 99% of the time which leaves me alone to take care of the kids, bills, and the house. I have sought out help from psychiatrists before but different combinations of drugs for depression, anxiety, and insomnia never seemed to help for very long. I live in constant fear that some one will see me "lose it" and the call the authorities. It seems so hard - I want to be a Mary Poppins mommy and sometimes I come pretty close but then the world caves in and I turn into the Terminator. I don't want my children to catch this anger illness from me. Already I see my 3 year old get very anxious and start to cry when he makes a mistake because I am sure he thinks that I will yell at him. My 2 year old is totally angry most of the time and throws terrible temper tantrums. I just am so ashamed. To make matters worse - certain people have told me that I am too liberal with my kids and let them run around and take over. I am overwhelmed feeling like I am way way too hard and not doing enough to control my kids. So many mixed messages. I just want my kids not to be afraid of me, I want to stop yelling, and not feel like I have to look over my shoulder to see who is watching me every minute.

I am watching the show right now about Anger Illness!! I really thought that I was the only one that was like this, but when I especially heard Daniell and her 2 children story, watching the hidden video in the hotel room reminded me of me and my 2 daughters who r close in age 2 her 2. Mine are 12 and 9. I just get so annoyed by them for no reason!! They try to tell me about there day at school and I yell at them!! I get so angry and them blame them for me getting angry and the main thing that worries me is that I have extremly high blood pressure and I have gotten so mad at them for no reason that I've told them that they r going to cause me to have a heartattack and it's all because of them!! I know it's not because of them, it's me and I hate myself for treating them like I do, and what if i do have one and they end up blaming themselves!! The worst part is that i really need to be better for them, my oldest daughter is 12 5'5 96lbs and has HB pressure too!! And other problems, such as blackouts, at least 2 a day and I need to be patient and calm for her sake!! There is so much more to my story that I believe has to do with why I am like this!! I never was like this until I got them back, they lived with there dad since ages 5 @ 2. I have only had them back for going on a year on Thanksgiving Day!! They wanted to be with me so bad and I'm scared that deep inside that they regret leaving there dad!!

DR KEITH, I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHOW TODAY ON ANGER ILLNESS. I TO SUFFER FROM THIS TERRIABLE PROBLEM, I WATCHED BOTH SHOWS AND IT IS NICE TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE, I HAVE A EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD AND A FIVE YEAR OLD, MY EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD HAS SEEN ME AT MY WORST AND I'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT THAT DID TO HIM INSIDE, MY DAUGHTER IS ACTING LIKE ME AT TIMES AND IT SCARES ME, I LOVE MY FAMILY BUT I HATE ME AT TIME, BUT I'M NOT ALONE AND IT IS SAD THAT THERE ARE SO MANY WOMEN , MOTHERS WITH THIS PROBLEM, THANKS FOR CARING DR. KEITH AND FOR YOUR SHOW, LISA

Dr. Keith,

My husband is definately suffering from the anger illness, which I feel may be a form of depression for him. He often throws, breaks things, yells, curses, drives erratically, blows up at the slightest thing, etc. I have a four year old daughter who already is aware that Daddy gets mad and we usually leave the room when this happens. He is unable to control himself whatsoever, and recognizes this, however does not wish to help his situation. I would leave him, as he is not a nice person to be with, however, he has also said that he would rather burn the house down than let me have it, and I actually fear for my safety if I were to really leave. I have tried going to counseling with him and the therapist said that he would benefit from medication, however, he refuses to do so. I try to shelter my daughter from his behavior, but hope that his conduct will not be picked up. Thanks for letting me vent.

Dr. Keith,
I have been following your shows on the anger illness. At first, I was in denial saying to myself that I wasn't one of those moms. But after this last show I realize that I am. I have three kids ages 8,6, and 4. I love them so much but sometimes I feel like they are the worst things that ever happened to me. That saddens me because they never asked to be here. I take out my frustrations with life and my relationships on them simply because they are here with me. I have sought help with depression, but it always seems to fall through. I want them to have a good life, much different from mine. How do I assure that if I can never get to the help I need? Thanks for listening.

Frustrated Mom - NC

i am a married mother of 4 (3 teen and a 10 yr old ), this really opened my eyes. i lose it on a everyday basis and i feel so bad cause my kids would rather be anywhere else but home , i know they still love me but i know they dont like me . my husband works and i deal with alot alone .anything that could help would be nice. cause i dont like me .

I just watched the show on female anger illness. I found it very interesting as I never heard that depression can manifest itself as anger. I am concerned about my brother's angry outbursts. Do you plan on doing a show about male anger illness and are there any differences?

Hello Dr Keith,

I just watched your show on the Anger Illness. One thing I think you forgot to address is the fact that these mothers need help with the everday things that are causing them the stress which then is then taken out on their children. Being a mom can be very stressful, no less being a single mom. Moms need to know that they should take time for themselves. Everyone needs down time, children, moms, dads, single people, EVERYONE. I believe this should be addressed & then there would be less "Anger Illness". A little help from their spouse, significant other, family member or even hired help is very important. The moms need to know that they are not expected to be super moms, no one can do that and still be sane. This is a very important issue, no doubt, although I think you have not truly done your research prior to presenting this show. Thank you, I entrust that you will also open everyone's eyes to these issues as well.

Take Care & Be Happy!

Hi Dr.Keith
I am an 20 years old. And i was watching your show today and it made me look at myself. I am 5 months pregnant with my 1st child. And i am scard because i have alot of anger and i also get depress over little things that happen. And I want to do something about it. I don't want to be like the other mothers taking it out on my chil and i am scar i will. When i am out or there is a baby around cring i get fustraded. Can you please help me.
Tiffany

I just wanted to write and tell u how much the anger illness show made me think about my life. I have to daughters 7and 4 , my husband works on the road a lot and i feel myself getting more and more angry over little things.I'm going to try controlling it for now but thank u for opening my eyes that i may have a problem.

Hi,

Watching the show on 11/9/06, I actually saw the person I was a few years ago. My son is now 16, but when he was younger all I ever did was yell, scream, and swear at him. There were times I told him I wished he had never been born. I would get so angry and depressd that sometimes I felt like I could take a baseball bat to his head. It didn't matter to me. I finally got help, I have learned to control my anger better, on rare occasion it feels like it wants to surface, but I've learned to control it, thanks to a really good friend.

It got to a point that he started acting out his anger on things around him. He was also in therapy for awhile to help him to. There are still issues, but we seem to communicate alot better now.

I'm just writing to let people know that even though you may have the anger illness, you will get better with help from counceling, and your family and friends. As long as you have support, there's nothing you can't do.

Sincerely,
Jereen

Your show on Anger illness caught my attention. Althought I am a male and your show and comments are directed to females, I assume becuase being a daytime show, that is your major audience. I know I have an anger problem and I know that I am hurting my children. I have gone to a doctor and I have tried several antidepressant / anti anxiety medications but I did not feel any difference.. I stopped taking the medication. I know what I am doing but I can't stop myself. When your segment came on the Today show this morning, I saw my son's eyes and how he was relating to the situation. I yell at him, I am physical with him. I know he is afraid of me. I do not want this. Have I just not found the right medication? I am typically not pro meds, but I need to change.. I get upset whem my son doesn't want to spend time with me, but honestly, the way I treat him, I wouldn't want to spend time with me either !...

This is my first time watching Dr. Keith and I tuned in because of the anger illness show he is doing. However I am very disappointed, Dr. Keith seems to be blaming the mothers of these children for this "anger illness". What about the children of these parents? What does Dr. Keith suggest that we as parents do with these teenagers with no respect for what we say. Now, please understand that I do not think that yelling and screaming at your children is the answer however, some of these children are IMPOSSIBLE to deal with. I think he should address both sides of the issues instead of making these children think that the parents are the problem, in a way giving these kids the idea that their behavior is ok...Deana in Tennessee

I have very bad anger issues. I yell and swear at my 8 year old son and 10 year old daughter. I get very stressed out to easy. I don't know how to calm down sometimes. HELP!!

Dear Dr. Keith,
Your anger illness show is eye opening. I am a medical specialist and I have major depression that manifested itself predominantly in anger illness. It has put my job in jeopardy and I have had to take an extended leave of absence to cope. Since anger was my symptom and since I did not associate this with depression, even though I am a physician myself, it took me a long time to find the help I need. I am sharing with you to let you know that the illness can affect you no matter who you are and how much education you may have had. I applaud you for bringing this to the public and am grateful for what your guests have shared on your show. I would not be able to appear there and if you do decide to read this email on your show, I request that you not share my first name on TV. Sincerely, a grateful admirer.

I think the Anger Illness is AKA,as the Fight & Flight syndrom. I realized that I suffered from this after being in an abusive relationship for 5 years. I realized I became unable to come down from the fighting response I had been in for so long. One thing that has helped me in defeating my anger is taking a SUPER O-MEGA-3 VITAMIN SUPPLEMENT. Also, take a B-complex vitamin. They have a new one out called Stress Tabs at any of your local pharmacies. Along with excersice and eating whole fruits, vegtables and whole grains.
Although, I still struggle from time to time with panic attacts, stress and anger, I have come along way and I have the above mentioned remedies to thank for it.

I am a 40 y/o female who is not a mom and probably is not a mom because of my life-long problem with anger. This anger, I believe, is due to being abandoned by my father, emotionally neglected by my mother, and traumatized by classmates for being visually impaired. I pretended I could see normally and the teachers pretended I could as well because it was easiest for them. I supressed as much pain and humiliation as possible at school and even at home, but throughout my life, I became increasingly less in control of my emotional reactions toward others. I have been unable to maintain healthy relationships of any kind. Would you please do a show bringing awareness of the mental health and self esteem issues that accompany disability and illness?

Your show on the Anger Illness hits home. The one problem that I have is the fact that many men have this problem too and you only seem to focus on women. I've had this problem all of my life that I can remember. I've been diagnosed with depression, I don't sleep well and I can lose my temper at any given moment. I've done and said many things in my life that I regret because of my anger. I lose it and get in my 12 year old daughters face and yell at her at the top of my lungs. I've been to counseling and on medication but have stopped because of the overwhelming cost. Someday you should do a show about this that doesn't focus on women because your show is somewhat misleading about who this problem affects.

Dr. Keith~
I just had to write in about your anger illness show 11/09/06. As I watched the first mother of two boys, I began to cry. I held my two sons close as I cried, knowing exactly what this mother was feeling. I, too, hit, yell, and scream. My three year old takes the brunt of all my frustrations. My everyday is full of explosive angry episodes, followed by tremendous guilt for what I am doing to my 3 yr old son. I worry each day that he will hate me, be an angry person, or have any number of emotional issues caused by my illness. I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder 2 yrs ago, and have not done all I can do to get myself better. Before the end of the show I took out the phone book and left messages at dozens of therapist's offices. I have decided that I will not do this any longer. My babies are the light of my life. I know I must change this for them. Thank you so very much! You will never know how much this show effected my family.
Very Truly Yours~
~Heather

hi, i think i have always had the anger illness. when i was young my dad wipped me all the time. my sister 4 years under me never got a wipping.my dad yelled all the time. my mom died when i was 13. i never got to see her after she went to the hospital. then kids couldn't go to the hospital.my dad remarried and i was the oldest of 7 kids. i had a lot of responsibility other kids didn't have. then i got married at 18. i have been depressed all my life. right after i got married i became a compulsive eater. i either ate all the time or didn't eat at all. then i went into anorixie. i had 2 small kids at this time. i yelled at them all the time. then i started going to overeaters annoymous. one of the steps you have to appolize to your family. i did that. then i got help for my illness. with god and therphy i was healed. i am still an angery depressed person. i am 65 years old. i take medicine at this time for depressipon . i don't want to be on your show. i just thought maybe my story would help someone else.

Dear Dr Keith,

I watched your show on anger illness this morning and I saw myself. I am a stay at home mother of a 11 month old and I am also depressed, my husband works during the day. I relocated to a new State and feel very lonely. I have alot of angry outbursts when I get angry. I know that I need help !

I am a woman 56, with the anger problem, my temper I thought was from being and Irish, redhead, NO, it is my past. Verbal abuse from my Mom and husband too.,

i am unsure if i have the anger illness but my life is very very high stress. i have 3 kids. two of my kids has mental disorders. my 9yr old has adhd, bipolar, o.d.d., and ocd. my 5yr old has adhd and bipolar. i have in the past been diagnosed with depression but is triggered from the lack of sleep and high levels of stress. i am gonna be watching the show to find out more on the anger illness but also would like more information or possibly web sites.