I have two younger brothers.The oldest one doesn't get along with me real well and alot of times will keep his distancefrom me.When we were growing up I would fight with my mom alot and he has resented me me for it ever since.He is also religous and very judgemental of me.Shortly before he got married over six years ago,me and my mom were arguing in front of him and his girjfriend.So he got in my way and wouldn't move.We got into a real big physical fight with each other.I WAS 8 months preagnant with my second son and he pushed me to the flore.Shortly after that he left and told me that I couldn't come to his wedding.He eventualy changed his mind about it but still keept his distance from me and so did his girlfriend.She is religious also.So now when ever they get together with my parents,I usualy get left out cause they just don't want to deal with me.They hardy ever write or call me,even when I try to reach out to them in a POSITIVE way.It's like the harder I try the more they just ignore me and always WILL.So I guss it will just be THEIR LOST.

Dr Keith,
I was watching your show about families feuding during the holidays.
My mother died from Cancer in October of 2003. My little sister and I had some big problems and I swore I would never talk to her again. She and my other sister had moved my mother out of her beautiful home in Florida, where I was taking care of her, and stuck her in a mobile home here in Texas. Where I guess they thought she would get better care. My mother was in remission when she left Florida, they changed her treatment here in Texas and not long after she died.
My sisters did not know her birthdate nor her birthname as she was adopted, they really did not know anything. When it came time to bury her, she had told me she wanted to be buried with my step-father in the national cemetary in Florida. My sisters decided to bury her here in a cemetary that is all about money.
When it came time to get her life insurance, of course they had more questions for me to answer, which I did. However in the interim they had made sure that my mother has not left me a cent. They created a phony will and had it stated that I would not receive anything if I contested the will.
They sold her home and told me that if I did not sign off their children would not have Christmas, at which point I asked them if my mother would not have died would their children have a Christmas? But I signed off and then had to use the only proceeds they alotted me to make a trip to Florida to my mothers home to remove all of my belongings.
I did not talk to my youngest sister until last Thanksgiving. It seems that she and I were reading the same book, "A Purpose Driven Life", which a friend of mine had told me about and I don't know who told her about the book. At any rate I had gotten to the one chapter that said to forgive people for the things that we held against them. I slept on it and the next morning my other sister called and we were talking and she said that my little sister wanted to talk to me. I told her to call and once again I prayed alot and slept on it.
We had Thanksgiving and Christmas and several other occasions together in the last year and we have never brought up anything that happened concerning my mother. I had already told them that my mother gave me life and I didn't think there was anything more a person could give you. My point is I could have held this grudge the rest of my life but it would not have made me the better person nor served any purpose. You can't change someone. I will never forget what happened because I would never let it happen again, but like you said on your show you can't change the past.
The grandmother I saw on your show today is so wrong! I have 2 daughters and 6 grandchildren and I have been though alot with my youngest daughter too, but never would I turn my back on her! She is my daughter and I am more prone to think that I failed somehow in my parenting, then to think badly of her. I went through hell with her, but you know what she calls me everyday now somedays 4 and 5 times and she never hangs up without telling me she loves me.
I think that grandmother and her daughter both need to read the book I mentioned earlier, "A Purpose Driven Life" and I think that the grandmother really needs to examine her own feelings for her daughter. I wasn't sure if that was her new husband there with her, I know the daughters father was dead, but you know sometimes woman tend to use sad situations to attrack the men in their lives and I will tell you the love of no man will replace the love of your child.
Well thanks for listening and I really hope that daughter will get to at least see her children soon. I bet they would not hold anything against her!
Sincerely,
Patricia Kohler

As a mother with a 23 year old son, who is trying really hard not to grow up, I was extremely offended by the way you treated Lisa's mother on Fridays show. If you listen to my son's side of our story, he would sound extremely convincing as to how hard his life is. I feel Lisa's mother had just been through enough, at some point your children have to take responsiblity for there own lives. If Lisa had two children obviously this went on for quite some time past being an 18 year old child. Feelings are one thing, but personal responsiblity is something we all must accept. I think Lisa's mother did not forgive because she was being attacked on your show, you excused Lisa's behavior and made her mother the bad guy. I felt so sorry for her, she did all she could to help her grandchildren get out of a bad situation and get into a loving home, Lisa lost her children because of her own actions..... Lisa is still playing the victim. It's great she is off drugs for 3 years now, and very hard work on her part, she should be commended for that, but I feel playing the victim always gives a reason to once again start the drugs back up....

I watched you attack the mother and the step father of the daughter who had used drugs. You obviously have never been a part of that experience. A grown daughter can only be "helped" so much. She is responsible for her own actions as far as stripping and drugs, not her mother. Her mother probably helped her the only way she knew how. The mother did not have a "to bad" attitude. She had a protective shield up as she has been hurt and disappointed one to many times by this child. And to rub the grandchild in her face was so very thoughtless.

I am a recovering addict and will be clean 5 yrs on 5/27/07. I have a now 8 yr old daughter. I also disappointed my parents at every turn while using. I nearly lost my daughter due to my drug use and some criminal behavior. My parents "tough loved" me the final two yrs of my addiction and I genuinely thought they hated me and I hated them right back. I was arrested and social services decided to place my daughter - I called a family member to take her so she wouldn't have to go to foster care. Fortunately for me they accepted and the rehab that I went to was for women w/children and we could bring our kids w/us. My daughter was out of my life for 24 days.

Now, I am watching your show and on comes a recovering addict w/her mom. Her mom is plain wrong!!! I hurt my parents at every turn. When they were back in my life I was as cautious as they were but we worked it out. I never hurt my parents so badly that my mom wanted to disown me!!!!

She helped me out of bad relationships, I stole money from her and did her wrong at every turn. She never once told me that I wasn't sincere in my appology. She is my best friend. Today I do things for her - all that I have been thru and all that I am now have made our relationship stronger and more honest. I told her nearly everything (except that which would have hurt her) and spend my life doing the next right thing.

I am really stunned by the mom and her husband - they don't even want to give their daughter a chance and it's totally wrong - they don't realize how devistating that it is to be rejected the way they have. Not to mention removing their own grand children from their daughter,not sticking up for her while she was in rehab doing the right thing and then being able to contact her children and she can't???? I am so angry right now that I just cannot speak!!! They should be ashamed of themselves. It's people like that that don't allow the addict to change. It's people like that that keep us "down".

Cudos for the young lady that got her life together. Karma is a good thing and a funny friend - one day those other boys will have contact w/her and they are the ones who will ask questions - what will the grand parents say then????

Sorry this is such a rant - it really touched me and I felt the need to speak out.

I just viewed your episode entitled Holiday Family Fueds (aired Dec. 22). While I appreciate that the program is edited for tv, what was present left me somewhat troubled. With respect to the estranged mother and daughter it seemed clear to me that both parties were hurting and that each needed to take responsibility for her role in the fued (the mother refused to budge and although the daughter apologized she still held her mother resposible for the bad choices that she - the daughter - made as an adult). However, I'm most disturbed by Dr. Ablow's apparent loss of objectivity at the end of the show when he passed judgement on the mother. Despite personal his feelings, it is important to remain objective when mediating in a dispute.

dear dr. ablow, please help me get my brother back he refuses to come back into my life again I don't know why we had a falling out 4 years ago and we haven't talked since 2 years ago march I had a massive stroke and I want so much to talk to him before I die I'm 57 years old and he is 59 I have tryed calling sending gifts and cards to no avail please help if at all possible

I was so sad for Lisa’s mother when they brought out her 21 month old grand-baby and she didn’t even flinch! She didn’t have a tear in her eyes, she didn’t have a sympathetic bone in her body for her daughter, Lisa.
If Lisa ever reads this, I want you to hear this: I know it took so much courage to apologize today, and I commend you for that. Your mother has turned to a cold hearted woman; but there is still hope that one day she might, just maybe, change her mind. I urge you to be open to her when she does change her mind. Right now, her ego is bruised. Whether she comes around or not, you have a wonderful second chance at life, and I urge you to go full steam ahead and live it to the fullest! Good luck to you.