I have a nine year old son who is the love of my life. Unfortunately, i have contaminated him with the anger illness that i have been suffering from for over 30 years. I went to therapy last year and it has saved my life emotionnaly and physically. What can i do to help my boy overcome this disease. I do not want him to suffer the turmoil that has been controlling my life all these years. He's been reacting in school but at the house, he is the sweetest, affectionnate gift i have been ever been given. Could he be reacting to my dominant personnality. I have separated from his father this year because of the disfunction in our couple and the lack of understanding.

I have a nine year old daughter who is angry and violent. Most of that violence is directed at me. She has always been "high strung," but when I moved out of the house I was sharing with her father and his mother, the anger and violence became worse. Her father and grandmother have majority custody and it seems that they don't care and are encouraging her to hate me. I am scared that she will end up in some kind of trouble (drugs, sex, etc.) and end up in J.D. by the time she is fourteen. My daughter and I are supposed to be in joint therapy, yet her father refuses to pay his half of the fees(He was ordered to pay by the courts)and I can not afford his half as well as mine. What can I do at home to help? I love my daughter so much. I am willing to do anything I can to help her. Please help me.

I was watching your show this morning and it could have been me up there about the anger illness. I have 3 teenagers that I do yell and scream and go into rages also. I know I need help because I am angry most of the time

Michael's sister broke down and sobbed. Pointed out that the family was in horrible pain and he had no emotion, save rage, about it. Said that she was afraid of him because of his anger issues and behavior. The mother, once she stood up to Ablows's bullying, managed to say that she loans Michael money, bails him out of jail, and is raising at least one of his children - although he insists she has never been there for him and has never done anything for him. He complains that she was never around, yet she says she had to work - should she have quit her job so that they could spend quality time together while homeless? The only real complaints he can come up with are that the ex-stepdad sent him to his room too much, and sometimes spanked him. Since the guy has been in lots of trouble, including jail, drugs, guns, etc., it sounds like the stepdad had legitimate concerns. Michael got treated like a poor, abused little sweetheart, while his mother was treated like a monster. I lost respect for Ablow during this show. Michael has obvious, deep troubles. His sister's concerns and agony were totally ignore. His mother was not allowed to speak. No attempt was made to understand and help - just to make them fit into the Drs theories. It was shameful

i wasn't happy with what was done with the mom i'm in a situation myself and don't know what to do. my 7 yr old has rage issues and i have developed my own.yet counciling has done nothing for either of us. now what what can people like us do especially when were not willing to give up our babies to anyone? i would've liked to see a solution to those issues

I WROTE IN ABOUT THIS SHOW AFTER I WATCHED IT BUT I DONT KNOW IF I CLKED POST THAT WAS MY FIRST TIME WRITING IN ABOUT ANYTHING>HOWEVER MY PICE WAS QUITE AND I WAS FEELING MANY EMOTIONS AND I WAS IN THE MOMENT NOT THAT ITS A HARD PLACE TO GET BUT IT TAKES ALOT TO PUT IT DOWN SO TO MAKE A LONG STOREY SHORT ILL JUST SAY THAT MIKES PAIN IS MINE>DAD USE TO BEAT THE SKIN OFF MY BODY but i got past the hate and learned to luv him and mom needs to own up to her short commings still if MIKE CANT WORK WITH HER HEY THEN ITS HIS LOST AND HE WILL SPRED THE GERM TO HIM DAUGHTER HE NEEDS TO GIVE HIS DAUGHTER A CHANCE TO GET OUT THE GATE TO LIVE BECAUSE IT WILL EFFECT HER AND SHE TOO WILL PASS IT ON SO LETS STOP THE MADDNESS MIKE AND MAN UP OR KEEP IT TO YOURSELF AND STOP ASKING MOM TO HOLD YOU DOWN FOR U ITS OWED AND FOR HER ITS MAKING UP NEITHER IS THE ANSWER AND YES SOMETIMES LOVES HURTS

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW THE VISIT BETWEEN MICHAEL AND HIM MOTHER WENT AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW MARKO AND THE SISTER R DOING TOO> AND I AM HOPING THAT MOM WILL GET IT TOGETHER>

Concerning the show 10/24/06.
Good grief give Larry a break. A lot of us got spanked with a switch. I think these girls just wanted to be on the show. He has said he was sorry and came on the show in front of millons of people what the hell else do you want.
The fact that you were able to drag this non show on for an hour is unbelievable.
Don't get me wrong some of your shows are good, this one was not.

I felt like Michael was truley hurt and has a different way of showing it. The mother should have been a little bit more interested in trying to work it through with her son. Michael should not have been so stubborn. His mom made some wrong decisions raising him in his eyes, but he shouldn't hold that against his brother and sister. I have personal experiences like that and I just wish that my siblings and I could be in each others' life and not hold our parents against each other. I think they both have their wrongs and rights. They just need to put their pride away for minute and really try! My heart and prayers go out to them all!

I recognized that family very well. I married a man like Michael. The family is so damaged it's hard to know where to start. No one can change the way Michael feels. Mom isn't being honest about what she's done. It's your job to protect your kids and when that doesn't happen they're going to be resentful. One child may be able to get past it, one may not. The only thing that can help is time. Mom has to get the help she needs to handle the guilt and shame so she can be whole. That doesn't include giving Michael money and taking his abuse. She does that because of the guilt. She has to break the cycle of co-dependency. Hopefully he'll be able to put his baggage down and live his life one day. The other brother got the message and seems to be seeing things clearly.

I WAS VERY TOUCHED BY THIS SHOW,AND I LET THE TEARS FLOW,I'V BEEN WHERE MIKE STILL IS,BUT STILL I CAN FEEL HIS PAIN,I HOPE THAT DR.KEITH WILL CONTUNE TO WORK WITH FAMILY FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES,REASON BEING THAT MIKE IS NOW A GROWN ADULT, NOT "YET A FULL GROWN MAN". HIS ANGER IS NOW IN CONTROL AND HE USES IT FOR "PAST PAYMENT" OF BEING WRONGED AS A CHILD.THE ANGER HAS GROWN WITHIN HIM LIVE VINES ROOTED IN SOIL. ME TOO IN CLEANING MY GARDEN TOOK A LONG TIME. NOT THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE ALWAYS. IT SHOULD BE GREEN ON THE SIDE YOU WALK ON.TO THE YOUNG BROTHER, PLEASE WORK IT OUT WITH MOM, YOU ONLY GET ONE!AND YES YOU WILL PAST IT ON AS WELL AS STUNTING THE GROTH OF YOUR DAUGHTER ALONG THE WAY. YOU ARE TAKING HER LIFE AWAY BEFOR IT STARTS.I HAVE VERY FOND MEMORIES OF MY GM, EVEN THOUGH I KNEW DEEP DOWN IN SIDE THAT SHE REALLY DID'NT CARE MUCH FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS NOT HER BIO.STILL I CHERISH THE MEMORIES OF HER BAKING COOKING IN HER APRIN AND THE ROCK CANDY SHE BOUGH HOME ON FRI AFTER WORK,SHOPPING WITH HER AT THE MARKET ON BATHSKATE AVE IN THE BX. IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT COUNT AND THE DONT COST A THING, I'S ALL ABOUT THE LOVE.I'LL DROP IN AGAIN TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS ABOUT MOM, AND OH YES I DO HAVE SOME. IN THE MEAN TIME KEEP IN MIND THAT MY DAD USE TO MAKE ME STRIP DOWN AND BEAT UNTIL I BLEED. THIS IS THE VERY FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER PUT THESE WORDS ON PAPER.AND KNOW THAT IT GOES VERY DEEP.THESE WORDS ARE A HAIRS EYE TO WHAT FOLLOWED FOR YEARS TO COME. I AM NOW A HAPPY 54YR.OLD MOM OF THREE DAUGHTERS,AND A SON. MY DAUGHTERS HAVE MASTERS,TWO IN TEACHING THE OTHER IS A R.N./MIDWIFE.MY SON IS A SISTEEN YR. OLD NOW RESIDING IN CARY,N.C. WITH HIS MIDDLE SISTER THE NURSE,WE WANT TO KEEP HIM ON TRACK, SO WE TOOK HIM DOWN A KNOCH,NOTHING IN A BAD WAY. HE'S A TEEN THATS GROWING UP IN N.Y. AND BOYS WILL BE BOYS,BUT WE WANT TO RAIS A MAN!!!! PEACE! I CARE!!

as a jounalist I saw this 2-year-old as abuser behavior at a big city women's shelter. There is such a thing especially when the child is a boy and males have been abusive to the mother. Altho the baby's 'abusive behavior' may be just a figment of the mother's imagination, after a period of interaction it becomes the norm and the child is given power in the relationship that in itself is child abuse.
In the end my story was so explosive that my editor cut all the really violent observations and chided me for writing a news story that was too inflamatory for publication. I think Dr. Keith should have walked down that path with the Mom. There is definitely another episode or two for this family.

This episode was too much "mamma drama". Everyone wants to blame all of their troubles of the past, present and perhaps future on their mother. Sure, the mother probably didn't spend enough time with her son but she was busy making money to put food on the table, a roof over their heads and clothes on their back. The children should all get into therapy and realize that they can't force improvements or changes in the lives of peoople they love.. they simply have to suggest and support their family members. All the crying done by the two sons was probably healthy for them because at least they got in touch with their true emotions instead of burying their feelings.

I think this family need a lot of counseling and healing of the wounds of the past. Everyone has a bad memory of their past but you can't dwell on it for the rest of their lives, specially when he (michael) has a new family of his own, or what is he planning for this child to grow with anger because his mother made a mistake of not "defend him"? She may had made mistakes but it wasn't a day in the park for her either, has he asked his mother if she enjoyed what SHE was going through?!

i too feel that dr. keith didn't give the mother a chance to talk, he just felt she was wrong for trying to provide for her kids. IT'S HARD!!! and for the son i think he is too grown to be acting like a child. his mom didn't abuse him, he should get over it. he seems like he has an anger illness, the other kids grew up in the same environment and they don't hate their mother.

I was watching the show yesterday and i had tears in my eyes even thou some people mihgt be angry at the mother for not seing what was happening to her sons while they were growing up in those mental abbusive relationships with either their father or step father mental abbuse is more dangerous than physical and as the dr says he build a wall in is mind and i am sure if he pull it down he might not have the help to keep him from going insane i will pray for him because if he dont get some kind of help the cycle will continue.

My mother has never made us feel loved or wanted. Any compliment always contained a "but". Mother has verbally and physically assaulted me and never misses a chance to remind me her children are a mistake. she disowned my older sibling 30+ years ago and now she is the only one who sees her. The last time i saw mother was about 6months agao at which time she tried to physically assault me while hurling insults and obsenities to me. She did nothing with us while we were growing up. She had a 10+ year affair which she still denies to me but admitted to my sisters even though her partner told me all about the affair when I met him. After 60 years of marriage mother decided my dad was no longer welcome in her not their home--I gladly took him in with the result being loss of contact with my sisters, mother and being repeated called a "greedy b....." for taking him in. Mother attempted suicide several years ago. Mother has filed police reports againts my daughter and my sister. She is an angry, hateful, vendictive, manipulative person who has destroyed a family. How sad!

I completely think Dr Keith did a fantastic job on getting to the "ROOT" of the real problem here.

Michael's mother failed to take any RESPONSIBILITY in her part on contributing to Michael's adolescent and teenage delinquency.
All Michael expected from his mother was a SINCERE apology for exposing him and his brother to an abusive man! It appeared to me Michael seems to have taken responsibility on his and Mario's misbehaviors growing up however don't get me wrong it is ABSOLUTELY time Michael stood on his on 2 feet and MAN UP!

I can speak of this subject due to having a VERY similiar situation that also happened in my family which I had to stand up and be the mediator to save my family. After a LOT of screaming and hollering I had to ask my mother to just hug and apologize to my brother for his pain and hurt. (in which he had also had grown very resentful of my mother) It worked ! They have a better relationship now than ever before and I love it.

Dr. Keith : I would love to see a follow-up show on this family because this CAN be resolved with some compassion,caring and love involved.

Dr. Ablow,

Watching you with Michael I thought I was seeing Frank Clevenger with Billy. You are as passionate about saving Michael as Clevenger is about Billy. In the future I'll pay closer attention to that subplot in your novels.

Tut, tut, tut.....I felt like Dr. Keith should have took a little more time to listen to the Mom also. She had to walk off the set before he seemed to listen to her. Yes, I believe she is mainly to blame for her son's anger....but she also has a story and needs just as much help so has to rebuild and strengthen her relationship with her son. So little time on the show though for Dr. Keith to do everything he needs to do, and so he focused where he thought he'd get the quicker results, I guess. I'm glad he's keeping in touch with the family as I believe he can help them.

Kess

I usually dont sit down and watch any show in its entirety. Today was the first time I watched this show. The entire family is damaged and should continue therapy. A 2 year old child cant victimize a parent unless you allow it. Im the parent of 5 children and my husband and I run the house. I know there are many facts that were not revealed in this hour. However, the mother should realize that Michael is entitled to be angry. But he is passed angry, he is anger. I could look at his face ,his body language and I could feel his rage. I can relate to him as a child but Im a parent too. Parenting is the hardest job and his mother may not have done a good job but we dont know what other issues were going on. Michael needs to seek treatment so that he can be a good parent. I knew as a child and I know now that I wasnt a wanted child my mother tried to make up excuses for the way my father treated me. But they both favored my younger sisters especially the one under me. My father called me vulgar names and told me I would never amount to anything and that no man would marry my ugly a**. My sister was the apple of their eyes. But I worked hard to be the exact opposite of what they xpected me to be. I grauduated from high school with honors, went to college and with alittle help from them and financial aid, I worked my way thru college. I didnt graduate in 4 years, but 6 years because I suffferd from some anger as Michael. I replaced anger and hurt with God. My father died of lung cancer several years ago, I visited him often and went home for the funeral. I talk to my mother but dont visit often she lives in another part of the state. I cant change what happened and I know avoidance is sometimes best. Im my best when Im not around them. I pray that Michael finds a way to forgive his Mom and let go and let God. This is the only way he will be happy and productive.

Dr Ablow I was very upset with the way you treated this mother. I know those boys were hurting and they may have missed some things in their life but there was no reason for Michael to be so very mean to his mother. I feel for them I really do! But I'm a mother also and would not allow my children to speak to me like he did. There is no respect there! That mother struggled all her life, worked many hours to take care of those kids. It must have been very hard. I think sometimes kids don't realize what we has parents go thru when we have to do it on our own.

My heart goes out to the young man who is angry with his mother. The only way to know his pain is to have been mistreated by a parent(knowingly or unknowingly)on their part. My struggle is on a different road, but I too am at odds with my mother and have not spoken to her in 3 months because of actions that have taken place since my childhood. To Della with all the education, I'd just like to say that being educated doesn't make you a good parent. The problem here is not antisocial personality disorder, it's anti-parenting disorder. You are taking Mom's side because you relate with her more. It is a parent's responsibility to protect their child. This woman is using her " working" as a smoke screen to hide the fact that she knew that something was going on in that house but she chose to turn a "blind eye" to it to keep that man!! She wasn't @work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Mothers especially put MEN before their children. This is not to say that the son didn't make some mistakes, but this woman doesn't want to take any accountability for being a "bad parent". No one is saying that she doesn't love him or hasn't helped him out financially, but that does not justify her actions of the past that have left her son emotionally damaged. Parents are always so quick to say how much money they've given you (I guess no one ever helped them out . . . ever!) That does not make it right. Parents need to own up and take accountability. Until that Mom owns up to her bad deeds, her son will never be able to forgive her. Denial is an awful thing and it is what has destroyed my relationship with my mother. She refuses to face the truth of what she has done. I can't live in that fairy tale with her anymore and I don't think we'll ever have any type of relationship again. I hope they can work it out.

Michael won't go home and be there for his brother and sister because he doesn't feel worthy. He doesn't feel he's good enough for them.

I was angered by the way this woman was patronized and not allowed to tell her story concerning the way that this horrible child, Michael, had victimized her. The best thing that she can do is to discontinue contact with him. I have my own Michael and my story is the same as hers. My Michael started calling me a b**** when he was a young child. I never subjected him to mistreatment because I left his father so that I could prevent this from happening. Dr, Kieth knows full well, if he is a forensic psychiatric, about the dynamics of antisocial personality disorder. I am a highly educated woman with multiple graduate degrees and I am now completing my doctorate degree in clinical social work. I have 34 years of experience in client treatment as a clinical social worker, and my story is the same as hers. Despite all of my education and accomplishments and providing for my son in every way, including his personal safety, my story is the same. We still don't know how to treat antisocial personality, which emerges biologically, socially, environmentally, psychologically and culturally. If we did, the prisons and jails would not be full. This woman deserves empathy, not contempt, and I sincerely hope that she does not go back on her word and continue trying to bond with this monster. She should count her blessings if he does not want to be with her and stop giving this ungrateful bastard a dime. Anger with these people is somehow endogenous. The mother is being used by this monster as a scapegoat for his innate pathology. And I KNOW what I'm talking about and so does Dr.Keith.

I have the same feelings .It's a very long story. But I am a mom who have bearly contact with my daughter. Her dad and I divorced when she was 13 years old. I made the mistake to move from the Netherlands to USA .But I kept in contact with her.Letters/phonecalls etc. Even wanted to live back in the netherlands to get the realtion ship that I had before I went. We always had a great relationship. But never worked again. Till we met twice in the netherlands with her in secret. (her father had a big grudge against me)One time in a place called Nijmegen en the second time she spent some time with me and my husband in arcen in a vacation home.After that day she wanted to come to USA too and I made it happen for her Becasue is wanted to make u to her and wanted so badly a relation with her. I love my daughter very much. Now she lives here and she wanted to get to La I let her go .She met a guy . and she wanted to get married.(19 years old she was) Okay I said because I didn't want that she would marry by herself . I paid for the wedding and made the pictures. But I am in not one of the picture.... (that I am not happy with). Then I asked if she was pregnant because I felt that. And yes she was. I was happy and wanted to suport her. I paid for her and her husbands apartment. But then it went down hill .she all the time comes up with the part that I left her. And yes that was a very bad thing to do .But I can't turn back the clock and make it better.I know she missed me very much and I missed her very much in that time. We talked several times about the past but every time when things see to go forward it's going backwards Because every time she doesn't talk to her and she makes excuses and I ask her what is wrong she talks about that I left her. I know I did that and that was a very bad thing .I do understand that she is angry about that . and that she needs to say this to me.But how can I make things better for her and now my grandkid? Because I am very confused in how I can make this better. So we can walk baby steps and make this work. I want her badly in my life and hope she wants this too. Thanks for listening.. There is ofcourse a whole more to say But I can't write this all down.. otherwise this will be full of my writting.
Thanks for listening. Eva

Oh my, I was glued to the tv today. I felt the pain of those 2 boys. It broke my heart! I wanted to reach through the tv and shake the mother so hard, & say, stop living in denial. I know she did the best she could with what she had, and i'm sure she loves him. If she could only see that all he needs is to be heard. Heard about the fact that she didn't protect him as a child. Just apologize!! He needs his family! And how could she say a 2 yr old was abusive. I'm sorry, but what a load of crap. I feel for her as well though. Please continue to help this family!

Dr. Ablow how is that you can keep ignoring the fact that Michael wants things his own way. His mother felt that bringing food and clothing in to the home and the utilities on. This boy/man doesn't want help nor did he intend to. You were wrong in attacking the mother. You haven't lived in a black mother's shoes nor do you know what a black man has to deal with? You didn't try to REALLY listen to the mom nor did you listen to what the other brother was saying. They were in some serious mess other than what was going on at home so don't ignore it. Start counseling minorities when you can really get into their skin!