I personally suffer from OCD and was wondering how many others do. ALso, I have a rare kind of OCD, it is about another person. As some have fear of germs, I have a fear of a particular person, my sister. She has not done anythiong to arouse this fear, it is solely a mental illness I was unfortunately bron with. Is anyone else like this?

I myself suffer from hoarding, but I know other people, with OCD, who suffer in differnt ways. I would like to see them on the show, or others like them.

Dr. Keith, I would like to hear more information about eating disorders/compulsive eaters. I have an 20 years old niece who has this problem, but I haven't heard anything like hers. I have search the internet, for some answers, but I have not come accross anything like hers. What it is she is a compulsive sweet/salty eater but nothing passes her throat, all she does is chew, and chew spits everything out. She weights 98 pounds and all the time you see her chewingand always with a paper towel in her hand, you see the trash is full of paper towels with chewed food on it, open her purse full of chewed food in paper towels. she goes thru 3 rolls of paper towels a day. We are desperate, but the sad thing about this she is in DENIAL. Please help THanks

Eileen Mendez.

I HIDE my hoarding behavior behind closet doors and in drawers. People come through my home and say "Oh, how organized you are!" If they really knew how I FEEL about all the STUFF around here. I have started my Simplify Your Stuff group over on meetup.com, but getting more people to join up has been difficult. I keep working on "Project Clean-Up" and working through the Freecycle.com group to rid myself of the overload and accumulation of STUFF.
I've emptied out a friend's home (he abandoned his home - left for Florida - took months of sorting). I call it OPS "Other People's Stuff" which I'm doing all over again sorting and getting rid of my mother's stuff. She is here with me, bedridden, but doing as best as she can to participate in the "ridding process". It's sentimentality taken to the limit! Wears us both out, but we're getting through it!
Many thanks for this show. I appreciate the input of others here. I'll check back to see what I can learn. Onward!
Karen

I was glad to see your show today. I was married for thirty years to an obsessive/compulsive hoarder. I am now divorced, with good reason. I was never allowed to be a person...just a thing she also possessed. I didn't have the balls to anger her, by throwing things out, since she was often clearly homicidal, if I or our children touched or moved anything. I finally left her and got a divorce. She has not settled, since she cannot bear the thought of relinquishing anything, land, possessions, money, power, especially. My story is far too big for this space. She hoarded into five houses, hoarded 18 vehicles, kept every bit of third class mail that ever entered the house. Relatives were last in our home, in 1970. Our three children never knew a clean and open house, and could never have friends in. All windows were heavily curtained. Her fear of abandonment, drove her to be fearful that her "things" would abandon her. Settling the personal possessions part of our divorce has been all but impossible, since she has delayed it for more than two years now. Her attorney supports her owl hootish ideas. She believed I was insane for wanting to divorce her, but I did. It's things like that. Worse...she gained control of her parent's multimillion dollar estate..and has hoarded that...failing to settle their estates with her siblings for years. Thanks for a moment to write. Cal Smith

Dear Dr. Keith
I saw your show today on hoarding and would appreciate any info or help you can offer. My 82 y/o mother who is personable and very bright is probably a 5 on the scale. In addition over the past year 50 cat/kittens have been added. The animal control has visited, but are unable to do anything as she feeds them well. As an RN, I have worked in the field of mental health as well as other areas, yet feel overwhelmed by this situation when I try to help. My question is: Do you know of someone (a therapist/organizer) in her area. It seems there are these people in the larger population centers such as Portland, Oregon where I live, but not so much in smaller towns such as LaGrande, Oregon where she lives. And at what cost as she lives on social security. Thank you for any assistance you can offer.

The show helped me more than anything else in years. What organization was that woman from that said to look at each item as a "friend", "aquaintence" or "stranger" and keep only the "friends"? By doing that, in only a week I've been able to pack up 10 boxes of items that I donated to our local animal shelter thrift store. I've never been able to do that before! Thanks for the help.

There is a Yahoo Support group for Children of Hoarders. see www.childrenofhoarders.com
I don't know why this message doesn't get posted when it could help others who might be coming here seeking answers for support?

Hoarding is problem that a lot of my cyber friends have. Along with us all having SADS and the weather affecting how much we get done or not done in a day.
The fact that I've finally decided that I don't need to have 'collections' anymore. No more closet full of clothes from the 70's four sixes ago. They are finally gone, a whole closet freed up so that I took out some of the thousands of books in boxes I have to read in the future. I hardly have any time to even have a shower so won't be able to get to reading any of these books anytime soon. The other hoarding problem I had, was too much toilet papper and now I've freed up two shelves in the linen closet, and sometimes I have to pay regular price for the T Paper but at least now my towels have space in the linen closet.

Better habits and better routines have helped me emmensely. No more eating a whole carton of icecream because it was on sale and I don't have any more room in the freezer for it. (save 50% is not a savings if I eat it in one sitting). That's a fact, didn't realize it before reading FLYLady and Organizer Lady and realizing Hoarding or buying on sale is not a savings at all.
Thanks for all the shows you've had, wonderful sharing and caring going on. Smiles because finally I realize I'm not that different. Lynn A

s

I appreciate your choosing this subject for one of your shows, but I am afraid you may have done more harm than good. I saw nothing that would help those of us who know we are hoarders and are trying to make changes that will allow us to live normal lives. For those suffering with something they can’t identify, I’m sure it was a relief to learn that there is a name for it. However, I fear they will now believe that simply getting rid of possessions is going to fix everything. If they are true hoarders and not clutterers, they will be unable to simply get rid of stuff and will beat themselves up for failing, only making a bad situation worse. The only solution offered was the use of a professional organizer. This presumes that there's nothing we can do to help ourselves, that we must hand our problem over to an expert, which few of us can afford.

It seemed to me that your comments and questions were patronizing and I found myself cringing whenever I heard you say in effect “ I know what’s best for you … I’m a doctor”. Comments like the often repeated “I’m a psychiatrist” or “I learned all about this in Psychology 101” quickly shut down any dialogue. Your leading questions took advantage of the vulnerability of your guests. You asked, “How do you feel when your loved ones say they don’t like your hoarding?” and “Can’t you see what it’s doing to your family?” Good heavens! Is there a hoarder alive who hasn’t felt the pain and isolation of hurting a loved one? Of not being available for family and friends? Of feeling ashamed for what he or she inflicts on others? The very fact that your guests agreed to appear on the show indicates that they are well aware of the problems OCD causes in their lives.

Such a frivolous approach leads me to wonder how much you really know about hoarding. There was no recognition of hoarding and OCD as the mental illnesses they are. There was no acknowledgment that hoarding and OCD can affect anyone, including men, regardless of how fortunate or unfortunate his or her life experiences have been. Nothing was said about the recordable differences between an OCD brain and a “normal” brain. There was no mention of cognitive behavior therapy, exposure and response prevention, or any of the accepted therapies to treat hoarding. It would have been a much better show if you had included an expert like Dr. Randy Frost in the discussion. Are you familiar with his work with hoarders?

I talked with a friend who said the show made it sound like we were using our childhood as an excuse for our behavior. Since most people have unhappy childhood experiences and get past them, the show only reinforced the notion that we are sitting on the pity-pot and have allowed it to become a bad habit. My concern is that this type of show will increase the shame we feel, since the focus was on personal failure. The show did little, or perhaps nothing, to increase public awareness of the causes and effects of hoarding, and did nothing to reduce the stigma.

Thank You!!! For 7 years I moved into an apartment and could not unpack stuff. I had a horrible panic attach everytime I tried. I bought stuff and never put it away. It was stacked everywhere. Instead of washing dishes or clothes I just bought new ones. I could not figure out why I did this. I felt aweful I lived in a nice area but my house was a dump. I was so embarressed and ashamed. I felt I had nothing to live for. I grew up in an alcoholic home and my stuff was all I had, but when I would move I would take the most important stuff and just leave the rest on my landlords. I didn't know what else to do.

Your show helped me so much!!! It made me see that I was not crazy or a bad person, just very sick. I started dating a wonderful guy and for 2 years I convinced him not to go to my home. When I moved I would wait for him to go to work and pack up stuff and put it in storage. It took me 6 months to get it all done. I kept my secret, until I moved my clothes and I had bags and bags of stuff, that still had brand new tags. I finally told him, when I got in the relationship with him it seemed to stop. I felt as if I belonged. But your show helped me so much. Thanx again...

Thank you for todays's show. I was disabled with "PTSD-DESNOS" in 2000. It took until today when I heard that this behavior was from "lack of love" for it to 'click'. So this is could be the source of my current rampant disorganization and clutter? Sometimes I don't even see the space I live in - it doesn't register.
In tryed to picture myself getting rid of the stuff I saw myself crying. Not over the 'stuff' but over the past, emptiness, and pain. Luckily in the past this 'litter' was confined to short periods of growth and only in my room during my daughter's formative years. She is able to keep a good house because the
'contamination' was only in my space and short lived.
In recent years the growth of litter has returned in force. From today's show I have new perspective and courage on 'containing' the mess and putting the blame where it belongs instead of continuing to polute my own environment - which only continues to hurt me when I've been through enough.
Again, thanks :-)

Thank you so much for your show on hoarding. I have been a hoarder most of my life. I could relate so much to what was being shown in the houses, as I am the same way. Wont have friends over, my son cant have friends over, barely can walk thru my house. I would love help but havent sought it out yet for this .There is a group called "messies" for support but I havent found the time to be active. I would love for my son to live in a clean house.

I was home sick from work today and your show has changed my life. I've been making progress to this at work but never relized what an impact hoarding had at home. I'm trying to run my own bussiness and work full time but I couldn't get it togeather. I have just thrown out four boxes of stuff and, as I type, I see more stuff to toss. I think I'm going to see if I can see someone and examine futher why I'm doing this. Wish me luck. My daughter is doing it, too and we have to get us stopped. The buying and jusnk effects us in every way.

I was very disappointed with Dr. Ablow's handling of this situation. His premise is "trust me, I'm a doctor, I know what to do". Well Dr. Ablow, were you ever a hoarder. And then you get in the house and act so startled and surprised and ask "stupid' questions such as "do you know what is in this box". Many people save and collect. Wealthy people save all memories. Nothing wrong with this. It is more a matter or organizing the things that you want to save and the thigns that make you happy so that you can find them and take care of them and still have some "normal" rooms for the family. I don't think there is anything that wrong with hoarding if it is at least one thing that causes some happiness in life. The woman is working two jobs to keep her kids fed and has nothing left. Give her more credit. Dr. Ablow came down way too hard. And why should people trust him because he is a doctor. He is just a human and many people out here don't trusts doctors, lawyers, priests, etc. with good reason. Some are good and bad. Dr. Ablow does not understand hoarding.

I just watched your show about compulsive hoarders...Thank you!! I believe my mother is a level 5...she saves EVERYTHING!!! Purses, new money, old newspapers stacked feet high in the house...there was no room to live!!! I would love to talk with other daughters of hoarders or even be on a follow-up show to this one!!! Thank you, Lisa Sommer

what i really want to know is how to start..in a house that looks like that. I don't collect egg cartons or stuff like that...i mostly have clothes and important stuff that i have no idea where to put..or have the room for. I try keeping only the clothes that fit, but for christmas..Mom keeps buying more. I tell her no, but she does anyway. i can't throw perfectly new clothes away that cost a LOT. Plus, i do like them. The clutter is kind of like what the other houses are like. I have boxes of dishes, waiting to be done. Plus I'm disabled on top of it. 15 major surgeries, including 2 back ones. So a lot of days, i am just in bed. Please help with ideas. I wish I could hire someone, I can't afford to. I don't even know where to start. 3 tubs of socks to separate etc.etc.. Thank You

I hoard crafting stuff. I KNOW I'm not the only one who does this!

Excellent show on this not brought up enough subject.I'm sure many of us in this situation can relate,and would like to see what can be done to help.THANK YOU! DR. ABLOW!

I dont have a lot of comments - but I would like to ask for help and guidence. My boyfriend's mother has the same issue. I have been dating him for about 3 years and have never stepped foot in his home. His relationship with his mother has deteriorated even in the short time I have known him. I know that she has a huge need to be in control. From the small things that I know of her childhood she has been the one her father came down hard on. She has been expected to stay home and help her dad - forced to take on legal responsibilities and such. She hold an enormous amount of resentment, and hurt. I am afraid that this will impact my boyfriend and I when it comes to us getting married...having children...etc. I cant even get into it all now...and I dont really want to. But Dr. Keith, can you help? She would NEVER come on the show... Her kids have intercepted and asked her to get help - but she hasnt (or wont?). She doesnt take care of herself, and has threatened suicide... I dont know. Its a HUGE problem, and everyone seems to just "live with it" - I dont think that this is ok...so what can I do? How can I help my boyfriend who is hurting so much? Can we help his mom? Is there anything to be done? I think that if SHE is going to get any help it has to be her choice- but what about those who love her? How can they be helped? And I guess my biggest fear is that HE will start the same habits eventually... I dont know... what do I do? Can I do anything?

I guess thats all... If you could help...

Dr. Ablow,
I have a friend that has to be a 5 on the compulsive
hording scale. She has 3 houses,7 cars, several boats and a few rental storage units The cars, houses and storage units are filled with stuff.
When we go out to pick up a few necessary consumables she will buy multiple items other than the one thing we went to purchase. I wish I could help her but I don't know how. I have my own problems with too much stuff. My little house needs a lot of repairs the lack of money and health have not made the situation favorable. My mate is a first class procrastinator he will start a project and never finish it. I hire lay people who need a few dollars to pay their rent etc, to get some of the things done. I'm on disability so money is tight. Most of the repairs need professional attention like wireing,roofing,plumbling and extensive yard work. I bought a water softener three years ago it is still on the dolly in the basement. I bought landscaping timbers to make a stair way to the river they are still unstacked at the bottom of the retaining wall. I think you got the picture. HELP! Mary

I have never been able to become organized. Rarely can I part with things and when I do, I am generally sorry down the road. Your show today really hit close to home. But so often the problem turns out to be due to early rape, or physically abusive parents, that which I have not had. My child is grown, and my husband has basically just learned to "put up" with my clutter & disorganization. Unfortunately, with us I feel as if it can affect both of our health. We both have Multiple Sclerosis, and I understand we are supposed to avoid stress. But I can't seem to find a way to conquor the problem. HELP!

I am in this group. I have tried to deny and sort clear remove. I wish I had the proper storage to display items and sort as to holiday and crafts and such. I know this would help a great deal.This would help on limiting amounts. Any help would be most grateful.I usually have no flat clear surfaces. Thank you.

Dr. Keith,
Thank you for focussing on cluttering this Friday. I am working on changing my own organizational skills and didn't realize it was a problem until recently becoming very depressed and decided to speak to my doctor about getting help. I always knew my mother was a hoarder, but have struggled with helping her live her life without the compulsive behavior because of course I cannot do anything about the underlying issues that plague her. Each time I try to open her eyes or even help clear out some of the clutter, she becomes very angry, to the point of "disowning" me several times and refusing to allow me in my former home. Since my younger sister still has at least 6 more years at home (and is sometimes used as collateral for other intentions when dealing with family that is not allowed in), I need to continue trying to intervene and get them the help they need. As I try to stop this seemingly inherited problem, it is good to know others are dealing with it and have had success. The show this morning helped me regain some motivation to get some more family members together to intervene. You have made a difference in at least one real life out here... Thanks!

I've just viewed the show about women who hoard. My mother used to be really bad about hoarding (buying larger houses as needed for this habit). The thing that seemed to tone down this tendency was that, as the surviving family member of other hoarders, she was required to clean out their messes. When she saw how disgusting some of their homes were she took a good look at her own house and began dejunking. She did much better when my sister and I were there to help; my mom could tell a story about an item then let it go. Also, we made a party out of having garage sales (featuring root beer floats). My mom is much happier because she chose very special pieces to keep and display in her home to remind her of loved ones who have passed but she is not burdened with "things" just because they belonged to someone she remembers dearly. Thank you for addressing this very real problem that many people have. It might be interesting to have a show about a hoarder who's married to a tosser.