I AM A 39 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO BEAUTIFUL GIRLS THEY ARE 7 AND 5. THE ARE MY WHOLE WORLD. BUT HERE FOR THE LAST TWO TO THREE YEARS I HAVE BEEN GETTING MAD AND YELL OVER LITTLE THILNGS . I JUST THOUGHT I WAS STRESSED. I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM ,I AM GOING TO SCHOOL AND TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS AND THE HOUSE MY HUSBAND WORKS 12 HOURS A DAY AND HE HAS TO DRIVE AN HOUR TO WORK AND BACK HOME AGAIN. THERE ARE TIME I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING CARZY.AS I AM TYPING THIS I HAVE TO KEEP ASKING THE KIDS TO GIVE ME MY SPACE . THERE ARE TIMES I JUST FLY OFF THE HANDLE OVER NOTHING AND I CAN'T SEEM TO GET ANY HELP FROM MY HUSBAND AND THE KIDS THINK IT IS FUNNY WHEN MOMMY GETS SO MAD I HAVE TO LOCK MY SELF IN THE BATH ROOM. IS THERE ANY THING YOU CAN DO TO HELP ME . PLEASE DRKEITH. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THANK YOU WENDY

Dear Producers of Dr. Keith,

I am a 33 yr old single mom of 4 kids (3 girls, 1 little boy), ages 13, 12, 10 & 5.

I have seen your segment on “Anger Illness” on your website and was shocked. I saw a piece of myself in so many of those women. I always knew that my yelling habits came from my up bring with my grandmother & aunt but never knew that it could be the root of where my anger came from.

In my home everyday is a new battle with kids. I am constantly yelling at them, about the same things over and over again. I’ve tried to just talk to them in a calm rational voice; I’ve tried just taking privileges away, grounding them, spanking them, and nothing works which leads me to frustration and I resort to the only thing I grew up with my grandmothers house, which is yelling, screaming & hitting.

I don’t like being like this, it hurts me when I have to punish them. I’ve read inspirational books to help me and know what to do but the kids push to the edge where I can’t maintain my composure and explode. I don’t have many places to turn since I have no contact with my family and do not have parents to turn to for advice. My real mother is a deadbeat with bi-polar and my real father doesn’t want anything to do with me.

My children’s father lives in Atlanta, GA and thinks just communication over the phone is enough and always says its just me over reacting or for me just to spank’em, but to him, he is more interested in what I am doing (as he wants to reconcile for a couple years now) and not really interested in assisting me in parenting. So I am basically alone in this.

I love my kids so very much but feel like they take advantage of me at times. I give to them what & when I can but when it comes time to help me or do chores that’s when the excuses, back talk & down right laziness sets in. If I want to do something for myself or have a night out alone forget about it the guilt trip sets in or they are shooing me out because they say they are tried of me and need a break from me.

I didn’t grow up with parents and I try so hard to not make the mistakes that were made with me and have my family be a close knit family so that when they grow up we will want to be around each other for holidays, family functions, etc. but I’m afraid with the shouting & yelling that goes on they will just want to get as far away from me and each other as they can. Time goes by so quickly and by the time I know it they’ll grow up, I don’t want they years we have left as them as adolescents be the worst memories nor do I want them grow up and treat their kids this way. I want it to stop with me, I feel its not to late for all of us to change, but I know it has to start with me.

My 13 yr old, tried back in June 2005 to kill herself (which we didn’t go to counseling for after her hospitalization due to financial restraints) & then in September 2006 she was suspended for taking a skitsophrenic drug, which she thought was a “BAR” (another drug) on school grounds. I asked her why she has done this she doesn’t seem to have a answer. She is constantly being watch by the younger kids and they I feel will start down they same road. They already back talk and sass me as she does sometimes. The 2 other girls 12 & 10 both have been diagnosed with mental illnesses but not been treated. The only sane one seems to be my 5 year old son, but watching us might change that one day.

They aren’t bad kids but I believe they just make poor choices, just like I do. I do believe they love me but I feel they emulate what coping skills with everyday life that they see which is me.

I am overly stressed over this and have gained 15 lbs in the last year. I normally can get right on a diet and exercise program but can’t seem to do that this time. Food seems to be how I cope with my family situation.

Regards,

Maria
Houston, TX

Dr. Keith,
I watched the very first show that you had about Anger Illness. My husband and I both watched it and I found myself saying "that's me". My husband had been telling me for awhile that I had a problem and I would deny it. After that show, we went to the doctor and told him how I was acting and I was put on medicine. Things have been so much better since I watched that show. Things have gotten better between my husband and I too. I can't believe that I was acting like that. Thank you for doing shows like that and pointing it out to people. Thanks, Julia Lawrenceburg, Ky.

dr. keith,
friday we had a snowday and my friends and i caught your show. ever since i can remeber my mom has acted towards me like the other moms in your show. sometimes worse. i dont no if she means what she says and does. every day i wonder does she love me? why did god put me threw this? im scared everyday. if its going to be a good day or a bad one. my parents are divorced i moved to my dads once before but i couldnt leave my 3 year old sister behind. imanging what my mom would do to her than to me. i want to be happy, not scared of my own mom. some days i even wish i could be out of this place. my mom however did not catch your show. i have told her to stop and get help. but she doesnt listen. i think it would be better for everyone in my family if she could just control her anger and frustration. Dr. Keith, please help me and my family. i am 15 my sister is 3. i just would hate to leave her when i go to college. please help us!

Dear Dr. Keith, I am a 44 year old mother of 2. I have watched your show on the anger illness, I feel that I have this illness although I don't show it much anymore I don't live with my son's anylonger. They actually live in Utah and I in California with my husband of 25 years. But when I was growing up I had my self esteem torn down by my Mother in small comments and behaviors, I don't remember alot of screaming and yelling from her, my Father would yell and be very scary, but he was not around alot so it was mostly my Mom. But when I had my boys I remember going on these rampages like your guests about how they cleaned their rooms, or did their chores and how they were done, they wouldn't bring friends home usually because I would freak out if I thought they would make a mess. Then when there was bad behavior from one or both I would freak out. My question is I have been on anti depressants for over 10 years and have tried many different one's, I have yet to use one that helps me to feel good I feel sick all the time aches and pains mostly muscle aches and pains, I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression I suffer with weight problems stress, sleeping problems etc. I have tried counseling but they say they cant help me because I have forgotten so much of my past. Is there anything out there that could help me. I am going to the doctor again to see about changeing my medication for depression. Do I still suffer from this anger illness, even though my children are grown? Please advise when you can. Thank you Alta

Thank you Dr. Keith, for exploring the Anger Illness! You can get help from vitamins and minerals and herbs, because I believe the Anger Illness is connected to PMS. You can do a lot of research on the internet and experiment with what works for you! If natural medicine does not work for you, you can see your doctor for a prescription for antidepressant / antianxiety medication.

I don't have a story like most of these mothers. My story started when I was in second grade. My mother divorced my "father". I harbored a lot of anger and ill-will toward her, much of which I do not remember. When I was in fourth grade, my mother put me in a children's home. I think it was not only the only option she had, but the best one. There, I received counciling alone and family counciling with my mother. We were able to work out our differences and I was able to come home at the end of my fifth grade year.
Growing up, I was your typical teenager: rebellious and strong-willed. After I graduated from high school, I moved out of my mother's home and in with a friend of mine an hour and a half way from my hometown. My roommate and I were planning on moving to Alabama. I came home for the weekend to get some more of my things, and to tell everyone goodbye.. Well, I never went back to my roommate's. I moved in with a friend whom I had known for a while. We decided that we were going to get involved romantically. He and I went to Dallas to get my belongings, and then went back home. Well, Kevin (my husband now) has a daughter. I am now a mother to a four year old little girl, whom I would give my life for. Her biological mother, however, angers me so greatly that I end up taking it out on Deborah. Every time I look at her, I see her mother. I HATE this woman. My husband has sole custody of his daughter, but I can't get this woman out of my mind. Everything Deborah does reminds me of her; everything she says reminds me of her. I can't stand it..
I had a wonderful childhood. Deborah has not been so lucky. Child protective services removed her and her siblings from their mother two years ago. I am trying to stop the cycle, but I don't know how.

i think i have an angry issue and want to get help so here i am I don't want to be an angry person any more i just want to be my happy self again. please help me thanks

I did watch this episode and was dumfounded that although these Mother’s clearly have some anger issues to work through, nobody addressed the children for their behavior. There was one daughter who had been caught for smoking pot and talking back to school administrators and boys who transformed their living room into a complete unsanitary disgusting mess. The daughter with the pot smoking and mouthy problem was never addressed about her behavior, just asked how badly her Mother had hurt her feelings. How sad that life with teens has come to this kind of codling and attention for horrible and disrespectful behavior!

I have suffered from depression, OCD, anxiety, and I think it is linked......anger illness. I lost a child and have since had two more, one is 7 months and the other 7 years old. I thought that this was something out there, just didn't know how to explain it to my doctor. I am on citalopram, and it seems to work, but i still yell sometimes, just not as much and not as out of hand it seems.

Dr. Keith,

I was watching your show on the "anger illness". My story goes something like this: I was always expected to be the "good" child when I was growing up. I was also my mother's rock whenever she needed a shoulder (which was a lot). I used to have such great patience with my son and other children. As the years go by, I find myself slipping away only to be replaced by this horrible monster that screams at the kids, mostly my son. He is 11 years old and has a hard time controlling his impulses. I know this...I just have a hard time dealing with this. I have emotional outbursts and don't know why I am upset. I have wondered at times what is wrong with me. I used to be so patient. My mother is a toxic influence, yet I keep seeking her to be in my life, hoping against all hopes that she would want to be a part of my children's lives. I want to stop! I want to be the person that I used to be just a few short years ago.

It was hard to watch the footage of the raging mothers.. the screaming and yelling. I'm the adult child of an angy, ferocious mother.. who still loved me, yet thought she owned me And this was all my lifetime until I left our hometown when I was 32, and the single mother of 2 children. I knew in my heart that if I didn't get away from her, she would contiue to try to control and abuse me. And my sons would see it.
My children are all grown now, and I struggled every day with staying calm, not knowing what was normal and what wasn't. Not wanting to be like her in ANYway, I went in the opposite direction, using benign neglect as my fallback. My kids saw me fly into rages, but not too often, because I just let them do pretty much what they wanted. But I loved them from the bottom of my heart, and had decided early on to help them buld their self-esteem, and not rip them down every time they felt good about themselves. I wanted them to feel unconditional love, and I still do. Now, as men, I treat them with graet affetion and adoration, like I did when they were babies. They might think I am silly and overly- sentimental, but they do NOT see me as being mean or cruel. I never wanted them to feel bad about themselves, to feel puzzled or hurt about what they had done wrong, or to be apologetic for being born, as I had felt while growing up. I think that I ahve gone the other way, and they are pleased yet embarrassed because of how proud I am of them.
My mother's cruely and paranoia were no secret. Other relatives felt her wrath, my friends were convinced she was insane..they didn't like her. and all the while, I felt ther was something inherently wrong with me.
When I had our last child 14 years ago, after a very difficult pregnancy, my son being born very premature, I went into the deepest depression of my life. Even after he came home, I could barely take care of him. I was terriried to tell my husband, afraid he would have me committed to a mental hospital, and I would be taken away from my children. Luckily, when I finlally croaked out to him how sick I was (my throat was so dry from fear and misery, I lost my voice, and literally croaked), he sent me to our doctor who started me on anti-depressants for the first tme in my life. And the world changed! I began to become more like a regular person, and my anxiety levels dropped considerably. In time, I was not so negligent, I kept them clean and didn't have fury outbursts; I was mor stable than I had ever been. At least this is how I remember it. My mohter died 6 weeks before I had the last baby, and I did love her. I just always wanted her to like me, and approve of me, and be proud of the things I did.
Just as some examples, I can say she beat me (with weapons), scratched me, pulled my hair, screamed at me, called me a whore and a liar; when I was divorced and celibate in my late 20s, she accused me of being a lesbian. When I was around 16, she told me not to tell her anymore about me, that she couldn't take it, that any problems I had, to find someone else who would listem to my "complaining"; she told me not to ever show that I was feeling bad around my friends, because "people don't like you when you tell them your problems". I was the one who had to see ocunselors, because she would NEVER seek help, and she would put on a prtend act that she was nice and calm. Once, I was locked up in Juvenile Hall because she beat me, and I refused to go home. In a matter of time, anyone who knew her would see her just to insane with rage. I can't watch any vidoes of little hcildren being spanked hard by their parents, or hearing little children crying with those deep, inconsolate sobs, trying to defend themselves against an assault by the person who should love them the most.I have little recollection of beatings when I was young, but obviously, I was, judging from the powerful reaction to the flashbacks I bave. I can hear my own little voice crying and apologizing. It's horrific to me.
Well, I've had years to sort this out, and lately, it has become clear to me how it all worked, the damage done to me, the healing, and how confusing it was. I'm a grandmother now, and a wonderful one. My youngest son has never seen me go into a blind rage; he's seen me mad occasionally, but that's a big difference.
Watching this show, Dr. Keith, has helped me alot in seeing even more how much abuse I had heaped upon me, not even realizing it was abuse. I only know it left me badly hurt, and will not be completely gone, but as long as I am on meds, for the rest of my life, I can live with these feelings, and KNOW with all my heart, that I am a GOOD person, and always was. And that little girl that I was didn't deserve any of that. And I have great compassion for my mother, who really had a hard life. And I love her, because she was my mother, and she did love me. It's all so strange and mixed up. But my own sons love me, and I don't believe the older 2 have any memories of my rage attacks. I've asked them, and they say they don't remember, but I still have apologized to them many times, and told them truthfully, that if I could undo those times, I WOULD. But we only have today, and they understand that, so I feel that my children DO love me back, and maybe even LIKE me:))

Dr. Keith,

I watched your show on anger illness and cried from beginning to end. I saw myself in some of these mothers. I began counseling when I was in high school for my anger. I learned how to control it and different ways to re-direct it. After many years of finally being happy and having it "under control", I find myself every once in awhile yelling at my boys, 7 years old and 14. I have noticed that it is not for little things. I go into a blind rage when they lie to me, fight with each other, or find out they have missing homework in their classes. Am I having a relapse on my anger? I am not sure where I am at right now after watching your show. I do not be little my kids or call them names, I think it in my head but never, ever say it aloud to them. i scream and cry then walk away with all that remaining anger inside me. It is killing me. When I am yelling at my kids, at times I feel like I just want to hit them, I get a flash of my dad hitting me, I back off real fast, I walk away, count to 100, go to my room and simply cry my eyes out. I see the fear in their eyes and just die. It brings me back to reality. I have been a single mother for 11 years, now I am happily married and the kids just love my husband. He is very strict and I find myself now stepping in the middle when he starts to yell at them. I am afraid he has the anger illness also. Don't know what else to do. Don't know if I am relapsing. After the yelling, I sit and have a proper discussion with my kids to help make them understand how angry their actions made me. They also understand that sometimes I may have had a rough day and all that frustration comes out on them. I will do my best to keep myself in check, now that I realize what may be happening.

Man! I can't say much more than "thank you"! It's shameful that this show is airing during a time when those who need to see it are at work or school (my mother and brothers in particular). I am SURE my mother has been suffering (suffering is the best word for this illness too) this illness for more than 21 years.

Yes, I was strong enough to look at her anger/pain for more than just face value. However, I’m seeing my younger brothers ‘suffer’ alongside our mother. Loneliness is truly her demise and could be the same for the life of my younger brothers. Not so much in a physical manner, but in the route they choose to live their lives. Already my brother has been arrest (juvenile) as a result of a confrontation between him and my mother; a record for anybody is disfiguring to his manhood, liberty, and more so his outlook on the future (men are not born to be physically abusive towards women; it’s a learned behavior).

I have no doubt in my mind that my mother loves all three of us equally; however, her love can sometimes be overshadowed by the emotional scars she accrued as a result of twice devoices, past domestic violence, and the lost of her younger siblings.

I am certain that many of those (mothers and fathers. Funny that you didn’t have any males on the show….I wonder why?!? Cause of research) who suffer from this illness have no idea how to confront their pain. Instead, they create a scapegoat for their pain through children (the most vulnerable) other family members and close friends. All as a cry for help!

To the producers of this show-THANK YOU and to those who know of someone who know of people dealing with this illness-pass the word on that there is help out there. And I must say that the help starts with YOU (the child, family member, or close friend).

Yes….This will be my Christmas gift to my mother. A gift that will last a life time!

Thanks,

VesSouL

Dear Dr. Keith,

My name is Alexandra and I have been battling almost all my life with the "anger disorder". I have been married for about 10 yrs. (I got married at the age of 16 yrs.) and I have 2 young children; a girl age 7 & a boy age 11. Unfortunately, I have put my family through alot of difficult times due to my anger disorder. I always knew I had a some type of anger management problem but for one reason or the other I never got help. Fortunately however, I went to my doctor and spoke to her about these issues that I couldn't deal with anymore I felt at some point I was going to lose my mind and I was just so out of control with myself. The Dr. started me on medication and I also went out to get counseling through a Christian Church. I have definetly notice a big change in my life. I have learned how to control my anger and I'm also more positive. I have fulfilled that emptyness that I once felt in my heart and soul by attending Christian Church and couseling sessions, through my local church. I honestly feel very grateful and thankful with "God" for helping me be strong and touching my heart and soul. However, I'm aware that in this process it will take time for everything to truly heal in my own personal life and in the hearts of my loved ones which I have unintentinally hurt throughout the years, (my husband, my children and also even family and friends). I do however, have a lot of faith in "God" and that everything will continue improving. I truly believe in the saying that goes, "WHEN THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY." I know that as long as I'm commited to continue this process there will most definetly be a great change in my whole entire life and also in the lifes of my loved ones. With my own personal testimony I will end this comment and also advice anyone that is going through this unfortunate problem to please get professional and SPIRITUAL help,(ASAP); (DON'T FORGET THAT GOD IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN REALLY HELP YOU CHANGE AND BY LISTENING TO THE WORD OF GOD IT WILL MOST DEFINETLY HELP YOUR SOUL AND MIND IN GUIDING YOUR LIFE IN A MORE POSITIVE PROSPECTIVE) and as Dr. Keith explained, it's an illness and a cycle that we pass on to our children and goes from one generation to the next that is definetly something that as parents we most definetly have to "END!"

Dr. Keith, I just watched your show on anger illness. I truly feel I have this I am a stay at home mom of 2 boys. I am depressed. I yell at my 6 almost 7 year old for every little thing. I tell him to do 3 things and if he doesn't do them in the order I tell him I scream at him. I am so proud of him for who he is. He is a good kid. I feel me starting to get upset with my other son too. He is only a year old. He is my baby. I love my kids with all of my heart. I also yell at my husband. It hurts me to know that I yell at them. I have all of the symptoms you asked all of the women on your show. I have a very low self esteem, I don't sleep well, I am depressed, I can't consentrate on anything. I feel like my momther had the same problem when I was growing up. She always yelled at us. I know now she wasn't meaning to but she did. Things that happened in my childhood doesn't help me at all. It depresses me. I'm scared I'm going to depress my boys. I'm scared they aren't going to love me or want to be around me as they get older. I'm so glad to know that this is an actual illness and not just something being past generation to generation in my family. Thank you so much for doing this show to let us know that we are not alone and that there is help.

I am a 25 yr.old mother of 3, two handsome boys ages 6 and 4 and a daughter 17 months. I was 18 when I had my first son and my anger never showed but after having my second son it really came out. He was probably about 1 1/2 to 2 yrs. old when it seemed like all I did was yell at my kids. I lost my husband almost 2yrs ago and it has been hard but I met someone else and had my daughter and now I catch myself yelling at her. My oldest son is very calm but he can do the smallest thing and it just sets me off. My middle son is not so calm and everyone says it is because he is the middle child but I know its not. I yell at him 4 or 5 times and the 5th time it's like I have to scream at the top of my lungs to get him to listen to me. I hate doing that and when I realize what I have done I sit and cry for hours and I have to apologize to all of them. And I guess when I yell at my daughter it is from the rage I had from yelling at the boys. I love my children more than life itself and I know I need help but I don't know where to begin. Please help me so when my kids grow up they dont do this to their kids.

Amanda/Arley,Al

Pls., Pls., Pls., have more TV shows on Anger Illness. Help us learn more about this illness and what we can do to stop it. Pls., help and not add to the problem.

Hi Dr. Keith!

I watched your show on the anger illness and watching it was like watching myself.

Im 17 years old and I strongly believe I suffer from this. When I was little I constantly watched my father abuse my mother and when I was 6 years old he went to prison and came home last year. Over the years ive experienced mental abuse from my mom and sometimes physical abuse. When my dad came home I had so much anger towards him and there was never a good day between us. I lashed out at him and he'd call me names and sometimes he'd grab me and hurt me and id throw things at him. I suffer from depression and ive ended up in a mental hospital and was put on prozac, which I felt didnt work for me but whenever id go to my doctor for depression, I was always given prozac so I ended up taking myself off of it. Anyways, I notice alot that one minute I can be fine and the littlest thing can set me off and I blow up at whoever is around. I seem to become a completely different person and im so full of rage and hatred, its not who I am.

Ive never been trusting of therapists because when I went to one after being released from the hospital, she seemed to give me alternative ways to harm myself and she didnt seem like she was interested in helping me. Just sending me away with other harmful ways to deal with my depression and anger. But I know that I need help somehow. I want help before I become one of those mothers I saw on your show.

Excellent topic! Worthy of a book--good title "Anger Illness." This whole topic could put you on the domestic and international map as an analyst. (My point of view is as an intl. marketer.)
Because this topic's affects are so widespread in US and beyond, it's a wonderful topic for analysis, exposure, discussion, and resolution.
As for my personal perspective, this "affliction" can also be "caught" from exposure to long-term exposure to tempermental bosses, relationships, as well as childhood vulnerabilities to frustrated mothers. I am challenged to control this now & then, not so much in interpersonal relationships but with others' racism, "other" religion intolerance, and "wealth arrogance." The most brilliant people I've known in my life have been humble in spirit, keen in observation, colorblind, patiently inquiring about religious diversity, and even multilingual. I get angry when people at large are not more open, patient, and loving. But I'm not "in charge" of humankind's actions; I just try to BE this kind of enlightened person myself. (When I haven't had enough sleep or need water, my temper button can go off, but I try to sleep or drink water, then I feel more calm.) When I feel agitated, I speak Italian (learned while working in Italy) or listen to music, which helps immensely.
I do believe that overwork, poor problem-solving skills, and adult isolation in the USA is a big problem, leading to more "anger illness." Good job, Dr. Keith! Please continue to address this issue, and you can even make it your "brand" in the field of TV/DVD psychology. This subject is a major illness is the US right now, and as we are a world leader, we cannot afford to suffer from its affects, whether it's in the home or in the American psyche.--LJA

Dr. Keith,
I have been watching your shows on anger illness. I saw myself in those women maybe alittle worse. I have 3 great boys my oldest doesn't live with me by my other 2 boys (ages 5 and 4) stay with me full time. I feel like my life is going down real fast. I have always had depression and always gotten some help for it but I have moved from my hometown and can't seem to get the help I need and trust me I've been trying. I love my boys so very much but I when I go to bed at night I cry to myself asking myself why am I so mean and hatefull to my kids, when all they want to do it play. Dr. Keith my anger can start without notice and what I mean by that is when they come home from daycare I change Im mad, sad, angry for no reason at all my kids can do the smallest thing to me and I flip I yell so loud that I'm sure everyone around can hear me my vains come out of my forhead and neck I start to shake sometimes I want to pick things up and brack them. I have even thought about suicide more now or hurting myself. and I've tried to get help but they send me to AA instead. I need help so very bad I can see my 4 year old acting just like me. When he comes home from Daycare they tell me that he yells at that staff, spites in other childrens faces, he once refused to go to the bathroom and doing so did it in his pants. I know its not his fault its all mine. and Im tryin to hard to change but I can't. I also can see it comeing out in my 5 year old just not as bad yet. He is starting to talk back alittle more then he used to. My kids tell me they will run away and that they hate me. I need help I know I do because I don't want my kids to grow up like me with anger. I hope you can help me.

I feel I have the anger illness. I'm a mother of three children; my daughter is 6, one son is thirteen months and my other son is two months. I constintly yell at my daughter and belittle her and call her names. I also yell at the father of my childern all the time. I can no controll my emotions. I have even threatned to commit suicide. I had a very similar childhood the only thing different is that I was also physically abused by my stepfather and multiple boyfriends. I do not want my daughter to end up just like me and I'm afraid I may end up alone again. I already lost my daughters father to some of these problems. Please HELP ME!!

i just saw your show and i saw my mom in all the women on the stage she suffers from high blood pressure,headaches and she sometimes cant sleep at night. i am 18 and the middle daughter of three girls when i was 10 my parents got divorced and since then my mom my sisters and i are constantly fighting it started with just my older sister and then me and then finally my younger sister who is now 16 and has anger issues herself i was watching your show and noticed that all the mothers has a tough childhood just like my mother her father left her and her mother and 2 younger siblings i dont want my fighting with my mom durring my childhood to affect my relacionship with my children in the future i hope its not to late to make a change i love my mom and i dont want to feel like i have to just stay away from her to get along with her

My husband left me because of the angry outbursts, just after I finally got PET/SPECT brain scans that IDed a brain injury that caused a lack of impulse control, irritability, angry outbursts, depression, high anxiety, and other cognitive dysfunctions. No matter how hard I tried to control myself, I could not stop the angry outbursts; sometimes I left meetings because of this problem. Damage to the prefrontal cortex caused this problem on a biological level. Not all physicians are good at identifying a brain injury or delivering the accurate testing and prescriptions. But pharmaceutical and vitamin answers can indeed overcome this problem and restore a loving relationship with your family. Misdiagnosis as a personality disorder, bipolar disorder, or the wrong prescription, like Paxil, can make everything far worse. I spent five years trying to get therapists to listen to me, and they would not because they had no credentials or background to identify the brain injury. People can have a brain injury without knowing it, can be knocked unconscious and not realize it, and can suffer a brain injury without losing consciousness.

Failure to deliver the accurate diagnosis, testing and treatment is also failure to support the family counseling and adjustments necessary to prevent family destruction.

HMOs often save themselves money by avoiding doing the necessary CAT scan, MRI, EEG or PET/SPECT imaging.

Many brain injury patients lose everything because of that HMO deceit. Many become homeless and are incarcerated at taxpayer expense and still can't get the right help.

Before you settle this anger illness on a personality disorder, please please please, consider the possibility that it is the result of a brain injury. Because brain injuries can get recovery, and in spite of the misconceptions of the general public, a brain injury doesn't necessarily remove intellect.

I see these children suffering horribly. The right diagnosis is extremely important. Malyssa's words are horrible. If the mother has a brain injury, no matter how hard she tries, she cannot overcome this biological injury. She can get recovery, though.

Paula

Dr. Keith
I've been watching your shows. This anger illness? What is the cause of it? What is the cause of deep depression? Are there tests that one can take to find out what is wrong? I've been so deeply depressed for years & years. I'm now 51, married with no children. I'm sooooo tired of feeling this way & so is my husband. We no longer have sex. I've been to countless Doctors & no one seems to even care, they just medicate you & send you on your way back home. I've come to the conclusion this is how I'll be till I die. Is there anyone out there who cares, to have us go through tests to find out what is wrong. I'm always so sad, haven't laughed in years. mad, yelling screaming, never want to go out. Don't want any vistors at my house. Cry & cry & cry. Have no support from my husband. I think he has given up. So have I.

Hey Dr.Keith,
My story is a little different from others. I am a 19 year old who has been married for a year now. My husband is 29. The two of us have been together for two years now. This anger illness is a huge problem that I have. At times I get so angry I lose control of myself, weather it's with me calling my huband inapropriate names, cursing him, or slashing his character. I have even physically abused him. I have also been arrested twice this year and had to complete a domestic violence intervention program due to this problem. I know that when I get angry the ultimate decision of how I handle it is up to me(good or bad), but I mostly make decisions that I later feel I did not want to make. It's hard for me to explain this to people I am surrounded by, because I have been told I am crazy or I also don't mention it because I don't want to feel "different". I desire to be happy an live a normal life without getting so angry and outraged. Although I do not have any children there are several people around me that have been affected by my temper. I really have identified this illness a while ago, but just never tried to get professional help, because I am young and I just didn't want to feel different. I really do not want my marriage to be ruined because of this and I also do not want my children to grow up with the same life I had. THere is no doubt my huband would be a great dad...but i can not say the same about myself. MY mother in law has said to me before " you need to get some help if that is what it is going to take. YOu don't want your children to grow up with the same lines." Dr. Keith I really need your help....Alperlonia

Dr. Keith, I am a married mother of two beautiful children. My son Andrew who is 8 and my daughter Ashley who is 6. My husband is a wonderful man that has tried to be my rock. He is wonderful and so are my children. They get alomst straight A's in school, participate in sports, go to church regularly, have such big hearts that it would make you cry with joy at what they bring to this world and how they share. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like all of these other mothers and women who lose control. I scare myself because there are times when I feel like hitting my children until they are quiet and I yell at them until they cry. It doesn't make me feel good and I can't control it. My head and heart are so full of anger, pain, guilt, and fear that there is no where for it go and it has to come out. My husband works a lot, so most of the time this rage and pain are directed at my kids. I have tried some forms of depression medication but they don't work. I go for DAYS without any sleep or just an hour or two a night, I let everything build up until there is no release. I have tried sleeping pills, but even the strongest don't work. I hate myself and how my life is going. There are times when it seems better for me to disappear than to stay here and put them through this hell. I need help and I don't even know where to begin. I see the first signs of this in my son already and he is only 8. I don't want him or my daughter to live with the guilt and self-hatred that I do because they act the way they were taught. I want to help myself and my family so that I can be a better person, wife, and especially mother to my kids. Please, please, please help me. I really feel that I can't hold on much longer.

My mother, my sister, and myself all have this anger illness. What can we do to stop this? I'm tired of all the fighting. I'm about to become a mother in like 2 months and I in like 18 days. We have my neice in the house now. I don't wanna be this way. I don't want my family to be this way. I don't want my neice or my baby to grow up and be like this with thier children. We don't have the money to pay for a family whatever. We just get by pay day to pay day. Is there anything we can do at home?

Dr. Keith,

I'm sitting here watching your show on the anger illness and I am seeing myself in these mothers. Watching how their anger affects their children really brings tears to my eyes. I am a mother of a 10 year old, 5 year old, 13 month old, and I am due in a couple days with our fourth child. I am terrified that my anger is going to hurt my children. When my anger gets out of hand and I start screaming at them, I feel like the worst mother in the world. I don't feel like I deserve these kids. I had a really abusive childhood, and I don't want to put my kids through what I went through. I took anger management courses when my oldest was one years old because I was scared that I would hurt him if my anger got out of control. It helped for a time, but now I feel like I yell all the time. I definitely need help, but I'm not sure how to go about getting it. Any suggestions on how I can beat this and be the mother that I want to be and the one my children deserve I would be very appreciative. Thank you.

I am 36 years old, single mother of 4 children. Two girls and two boys. I love my kids more than anything. I feel like something is wrong because i get so upset that i dont realize how ugly i yell at them.. i see how i look for something to get their attention. I hear my kids speak to each other the way i talk and i get upset. I tell them constantly that we're all we have and we need to love and respect each other. But i go right back to yelling and verbally abusing my pride and joys. Its like having four separate kids. We're not united and its tearing me down to the point that i feel like they might be better off with out me. I dont want them growing up with anger for me or for how they grew up. My oldest is 14 and he has the world on his shoulders in his eyes. He yells and talks to the younger kids the way i do and i see it and hear it and it sounds terrible.. he doesnt know any different and that's all my fault.I dont mean to make him feel that way but the pressure i put on him to be there for us is unbelievable.. I dont want it to be too late for him or any of my kids..i really need some intervention before i lose my world..

I'm a young mother of a 3 year old with another child an the way! I've always had the "anger Illness" I got it from my dad. It's cost me friendships and respect! Recently, my dad's illness sent him over the edge thretening my mom with a gun and dragging her up the stairs. After coping with this, I realized I needed to change myself, I dont want to be that. My dad drinks and that flairs it. Anyway, I yell at my son and I yell at my husband, I flip out on my family. It stinks! I was on medicine but wasn't myself, so I've chose to try to keep myself calm with support from my family, because my mom understands that it is an illness. I'm still struggling and it breaks my heart to see myself act like a monster to my son. He's only 3! It was shocking to see that there are LOTS of people just like my dad and I!

hi! dr.keith
i cher daels with my husdband of 5 years with anger problems i believe that one day he's going to get so anger and hurt me. it could be just a regular day getting the kids rady for school and he would just snap over any little simple thing like if the kids not moving fast enough he'll get to using bad words to the kids or me over something thats so simple and he admints he needs some counserling PLEASE HELP ME SOME HOW
SINCERLY I'M IN ALOT OF PAIN DEALING WITH THIS I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GO ON WITH THIS MARRIAGE.

Dear Dr. Keith i watched your show on anger illness on Dec 1,2006 Ive noticed im one of these parent's and i know i need help. I'm constentley yelling at my twin daughter there only 10 yrs old there both ADHD at i notice i have no patients, I know they probably hate me sometimes and I hate my self for what i do to my children. I wish i was a better mother for them i would love to be a better person and get help can you please tell me the name of the medication so i can talk to a Dr. so i can get help. Thank you. Dr. Keith Griselda

I am 19 years old, Mother of one, a 5 year old and at times it is so hard and I find myself yelling at her a lot. I also find myself very angry when things dont go my way in life, at work at home etc.

hi im a mother of 3,i always new i had an anger problem im just not sure what to do about it,i heard there are medication that can help and i was wondering what kind so i can tell my doctor

Hi Dr Keith - I watched your shows on the anger illness, and I am so glad that I am not alone. A little over a year ago, I was having panic attacks, severe headaches, and I was yelling and mean all the time. My doctor put me on Lexapro and it has helped me tremendously - I had tried antidepressants like Wellbutrin, Elavil, Effexor, but none of them really worked for me. Lexapro works for my anxiety - that was my biggest issue (still is at times) - my children and my husband were the targets of my anger. But now I am better, although there are still times when I have outbursts, but not like before. Women should not be ashamed to try medication for illnesses like this - it can be a lifesaver, for not only the woman, but her whole family too. Thanks so much for having shows on this illness - it is very real.

Shelley
Adrian, Michigan

I am a 36 year old mother of two beautiful boys. I have watched your shows and think that I have the Anger Illness. I yell and scream at my kids and fiance' for no reason at all and can not seem to control myslef. I am filled with guilt and I am always feeling like I am on the edge of loosing control and then when I do loose control I take it out on my fiance and our oldest son. The little one is only 17 months old but I find myslef yelling at him too. I feel completely out of control of my life. I feel like I am worthless and that I am a bad mother. I don't want to be this way but I don't know how to stop this. I don't even look at myself in the mirror any more. I do not know who this person is in the mirror any more. I love my boys and my fiance with all my heart but I am pushing them farther and farther away from me. Please Dr. Keith help me! I am desperate, I do not want to loose my family. Help me get myself back.
Sincerely,
Heather

saw your show on anger illness and I can understand all of the women on the show. I’m now on meds for depression so I don’t have sleepless but sometimes I still feel sad and I get out of control with my kids I feel like a bottles of coke that got shucked up and when you open it that is what happens when I get mad but it is not just my kids that get it my boyfriend my mom and my sisters too and I will try to make everyone hurt like me and I say and do dumb things when I get mad. I know I have a very low self – esteem I’m a stay at home mom and I will go days without getting dress I don’t do my hair I hate the way I look , and I don’t like having sex with my boyfriend and sometimes I don’t want him to touch me . it has gotting better now that I’m on the meds but I have my low days still .

I know that I have had a few problems with anger, but I want to know why Dr. Ablow keeps stating that this is a "women's" problem. We may yell a bit, but men are actually out there killing each other, their spouses and girlfriends, and their children, from that same rage. So, why is he stating that this is only a problem with women?

I was at worked on Nov 9, when I saw the episode on the anger illness disease my mouth just dropped, I never thought that what I was feeling and going through had a name, I just thought that I was crazy and a horrible mother who can't control her anger, but I realize now that I do need help, and if it was not for the show I would never be able to admitt I have a problem.I know now that I overcome this,I finally took that first step to admitting I have a problem.

Dr. Keith,

I am a stay at home mom of two girls. One just turned 3 and the baby is soon to be 6 months. I think I have anger illness. I yell at my 3 year old all the time. I yell at the baby some times. I could just be depressed because i stay home all day. i cry a lot and i don't sleep well. i yell at my husband. i am afraid of what is happening to me. help me!

Dr. Keith,
I have a comment about the "anger illness". Sometimes, I feel as though I was looking at a mirror watching your show. You asked your guest if they have health problems, I do, I have fibromyalgia, lupus, ankylosing spondylitis, degenerative disc disease & renal disease. I pray earnestly asking for more patience w/my 11 yr old son. He truly is one of the greatest blessings in my life. Sometimes, I feel like a horrible mom because after asking him to do something the 3rd time, then I yell at him. I have never hit him, I just know the yelling could be emotional & mental abuse. Anything you may comment on in the future, maybe will help us greatly.
May God Bless You

Hi Dr Keith,
When I saw you talk about the on "Anger Illness" on TV I felt I had to share my problems.
Im about to turn 34 years old and I dont have any children.I lived with my parents most of my life up intill 3 years ago.
I met my husband and had been living with him for the last 3 years and I know he is the one. I just dont want to loose him over my anger issues.
I have not one friend, and I think i know why. I have tried all different kinds of medication, I've put myself in a self behavioral hospital and I really need to talk to someone about this. I know that Im a real sweet person, but I yeah, scream, call bad names to hurt the person Im mad at. I want that person to feel my hurt and pain and I dont know why or what this is from.
My husband and I are trying to have a baby right now and Im afarid that I may be that kinda mother that will yell at there child all the time. PLEASE HELP!

When I first saw the anger illness clip, I just started to cry. As I was watching the television, it was like I was looking into a mirror. I tend to yell at my children alot, my daughter is 8 and my son is 6. After yelling at them I feel very guilty and then go to them and tell them that I am sorry and we usually start to cry together. I need help. My mother tells me all the time that I need nerve pills but I don't know. I really think that I am suffering from anger illness. Please help me and my kids.

I am 22 years old and think I have anger issues. I am in love with my boyfriend and have never been in love like this but he is the constant subject of my anger. He will say something little and I will instantly start yelling at him. Also we have intamcy issues already and we arent even married yet. I just dont have the drive like I feel like I should. I really want help with this and dont know how to do that. I dont want to lose him by being so mean sometimes, and I dont want to be the Mom that I see on the show...that would break my heart. If you can help I would really appreciate it.

I saw a commercial for the show focusing on "Anger Illness" and immediately thought of myself. I am a newly married mother of two beautiful girls, ages 5 and 2. I am also pregnant with a third child. I suffer from Major Depression and do not take medication for the illness. I watched the episode featured on Dr. Keith's site on Anger Illness and it brought tears to my eyes. Everything that those mother's were saying, everything that they were doing......it's me. I come home and take my anger and frustration out on my daughters and they DONT DESERVE it! I act out towards them, often cursing and throwing things and then after the episode I realize what I did and try to make things right by apologizing. I know it doesnt help tho. My five year old is now screaming and throwing things.......at my two year old! I know I need help and this show has really brought the Illness to my attention. I pledge to do my best to fix me!

I feel just as Julianne does, who posted on November 14th. I too am on antidepressants and I find myself yelling at my children for simple things. I repeat myself constantly and I feel like no one listens to me. I believe I do have the "anger illness." I hate seein my 4 year old and 1 year old terrified all the time, but I feel ike I am alone in everything that I do, even though I do have a husband. I am a very busy women and am constantly on the go, and I don't have much time for me. I don't know if my anger is actually coming from my children or if all of this is manifesting itself through my marriage to their father. I think that this was an important show for other women so that they know they are not alone when it comes to this subject. There is a solution, we just need to ask for help...

I feel as though i am suffering from the anger illness. However, I am not a mother. I am a 20 year old woman. When i watched both episodes on the anger illness, I felt as if someone actually knew how i was feeling when i get angry about something. It was like i could have been up there descriving exactly what they were. I mostly get angry and say horrid things to my boyfriend. Lately,I don't know how to handle myself when i get angry. I'm scared that eventually its going to get worse. I feel terrible after having an "anger outburst." It's almost like i feel out of control and i dont know what to do anymore.

I too am suffering from "anger illness" and am relieved to see others are too. I feel like it is a dirty secret that I yell at my kids. I can only imagine that others do too. However, I am forced to ask the question...Why? I mean just reading the latest posts there are example after example about how mothers lose their tempers. So is this epidemic one that we create ourselves or are we just letting uor kids get away with disrespect and then getting mad when we don't recieve the respect we think we deserve?

I can't pretend to understand what all the moms here are going through. I have four kids, ages 23, 21, 17, and 6. Sure, there are times when they were little that they make you want to pull your hair out, but that isn't an option. I wouldn't have a hair left on my head if that were the case. I DO understand how children sometimes can push you too far. I always felt when that happened that *I* was the one that needed a time out. Then I could come back in and deal with whatever situation demanded my attention at the time.
I hope you all can get past these issues. I've watched the shows, and my heart breaks for these little kids. And I hurt for the moms as well, b/c I don't think ANY mother could possibly *want* to hurt her child that way.
Good luck to all of you....

Dr Keith' i have some bad anger issues.Ihave three children i have adopted. i love them as much as if i would have given birth to them.but they are a.d.d.& adhd &and mildly retarted.some of the things they do drive me crazy.and i know its not their fault. i just get so angry some times. i am54 years old i have 5 grown kids with kids of their own.(8)grand kids. i think i really need help bad. so i can be a better mother to these kids.they deserve better. please help me. sencerly Helen

You know, this isn't something that plagues mothers. I am a 19 yr old and I find myself doing those very same explosive actions towards the ones I love like my boyfriend and family. I didn't think anything about it other than I had problems dealing with anger until I saw a segment. I looked further into it and I believe that I suffer from this as well. I just wish I could stop freaking out all the time, because I can see what its doing to all the important relationships in my life. I am afraid if I have kids I will only hate them or scream at them all day.

I know I have this. I cried through the entire show, as I felt that I should have been sitting on the stage. I have a three- year- old, beautiful, loving baby girl. She is my life; yet, I can not seem to be able to help myself. I fear what I will do next; constantly yelling constantly screaming. Absolute rage. I am so glad to know that I am not alone. Blessed be..Jenn

Dr. Keith,I think I suffer from anger illness. I live alone with my pre-teen daughter who was diagnosed with ADHD. I know that the phases she is going through are probably normal, but I can,t seem to control my anger towards her. Often I yell at her as if it was a daily routine. Then I just go into my room ,tell her not to talk to me, and shut my door. I feel like as a mother, I am failing. Sometimes when I'm in my room I cry because I feel like I'm such a bad mom. I have suspected with myself, that I suffer from severe depression, but I never been properly diagnosed. I really want to have a good relationship with my daughter,especially since she is becoming a young woman. It guilts me when I think of all the time we've lost already.

Ever since I was a kid I always got bad grades and felt stupid. I never understood the lesson no matter what subject it was. Before I had kids , I would have cousins come over my house ,and they would run, laugh,play , what ever they did I would get annoyed and yell at them. Now I have kids ages 11,9,8. I catch myself getting very irritalbe, inpatient,angry,and then I end up with very big head ache,and loosing control, because I feel that my children are ingoring me. That I am not serious when i yell at them to,"shut up and sit down". I am affriad that I will loose control and do something. So I just give up run to my room and scream at the top of my head.I have taken depresion pills but they just do not work. So I stopped taking them with out consulting my DR. Because I would have other side effects that make me feel worse.When I saw your show felt a relief to know what I had and there is help out there. But when you live with a low income and live paycheck to paycheck, there is limited help.Because there is no cheap health insurance for mental health. I know that my kids hurt when I yell and scream, and curse at them. I am supposed protect them from poeple like me.

Dear Dr. Keith, I feel I have to ask, what about the fathers? I love my husband dearly, but I have to referee between my two boys (16 & 13) and my husband. I have tried to get him to seek anger managment but he feels it does not apply to him. My 13 year old son is following in his fathers footsteps and I'm concerned. Please touch on the fact that anger illness is not just a "mommy" problem.

I applaud you, Dr. Keith, for addressing "anger illness" in Mothers. No Mother alive would ever WANT to hurt her children, therefore, I truly believe that this IS an illness.
I did not have an explosive temper until after I became a Mom. Now, the #1 emotion I show my daughter is anger. I desparately want to control it, but for the life of me, I cannot. I have many sleepness nights dwelling on the things I've said, on the screaming, the demeaning attitude I take w/ my daughter. I am so ashamed of myself, but I don't know how to control it. I have read 50+ "self-help" books, have attended seminars, had counseling, etc., and my anger persists. What do I do?
My daughter is "high spirited" and can be very difficult, but I want a better way to parent her, without all the anger. She deserves a better Mom.
I look forward to getting help from your program and hope that all Mothers out there w/ "anger illness" find help, as well.
Thank you for your concern for our future generations.

I am not sure if I have a anger problem or just get frustrated as my children are 4 and 1.. I try not to yell at them but I find myself repeating myself over and over again with simple things to my 4 year old atleast 3 times before I can get her to answer or do as she is told! None the less by about the second time I find myself screaming at these poor children and watching them look at me in fear!! I grew up in a house with lots of yelling and physical abuse and do not want to be that parent! I just get so fustrated and feel as if I am not the Mom these children deserve..I love my kids so very much and I am on anti-depresents and that dosen't seem to help when I get the feelings of rage I experience on a almost daily basis!! I grew up in a house with parents who where like that and I want so much more for my children and they are wonderful kids who deserve it! I want them to feel happy and feel safe in there own home and I don't feel I am holding up my end of the bargain as a parent!! I want to talk to someone about this but I am so affraid of loosing the 2 loves of my life!! What do I do?? How can I stop this horrible cycle?

When i first heard the discussion at the end of a show about anger illness, I cried it fits me to a T, I can finially put a name to something that has been plauging me for over a year.I seem to fly off the handle and yell for the littlest things, that shoudlnt typically bother me. I am a 34 year old single mom to a beautiful 6 year old little boy. He is the light of my life and I love him with all my heart. And I just want to get help to deal with this and to make our lives much happier.

I need help
I gave up my son for adoption almost 25 years ago, which has cause deep depression. I have contact with him now and also have a grand son. I also havea 13year old who I let me andry out on constantly. I holler all the time and take every thing out on her with the littlest things.
I want desperately to stop this. I do not want her to grow up thinking I really do not care about her. I honestly do. I just can't help myself or my anger all
the time.I have had this for many years. I regret giving my son up and that is when this all started. I have been depressed for all these years.
Thank you
Janet

I never realized this was a sickness. I came from a very abusive background with my own family and ended up in fostercare.
I always thought I was a better person than my parents. I have never hurt my children who range in the age of 5 to 19. But I do yell at them. I don't like the way I feel when I'm doing it.

I think you touched on something, but you leave out the fact that this anger illness also affects males in our society. I didn't stay with my daughters father because he would repeatedly get into these shouting matches when he became angry or frustrated. Now he does this to my (adult) daughter because he feels he has the right (she is his daughter). If I get in between he shouts at me. There is no lasting escape from him. I think you should address it in men too.

my name is samantha and im a 18 year old first time mom its hard on me and i struggle alot with it ever since i was like 12 i have had anger rages i need help but i dont know what to do

I am a mother of three. I used to have a very even temper. Now I find myslf "Out of control". I thought I was the only one. I hope this show will open my eyes so maybe i can keep a lid on my yelling and screaming

i do deal with this on a daily basis. but with God and tips i get from your show and others i am doing better. i am learning to not act out but to be tender, loving, and kind. when i feel the anger rise i swallow hard, sometimes count to ten, and try to be loving and kind. i am not always successful, but it is getting easier. i thank God that cussing is not a part of it. i love my children and pray they know it! Thanks for what you are doing. you are making a difference.

I take out my anger on my husband, not my kids...I'm afraid he will get to where he hates me.

Dr. Keith,
I am a single parent of 3 children ages 11, 10, and 8. From watching your show, and hearing other women I feel that I am suffering from anger illness. I get very overwhelmed and stressed. I was hoping maybe you could guide me in the right direction to help me cope so that my children and I don't have to suffer anymore. At this time, my three children are in counseling and after watching your show, I realized I may be the one that needs counseling.

I would love to talk to Dr. Keith about this topic and my theory. I suffer from it every since I started taking Prozac 10 years ago - before that I was the most mild-mannered person and never yelled or screamed at people. I think there is a connection and would like Dr. Keith to look into it. I don't know if it's worse to be depressed or to yell at others?

I need help!! I have been watching your anger illness shows. I sit for hours and cried when I watched the first one. Right now I am watching the second show. I had to stop the recorded tape and get up and come over here and email you. I can not pick just one woman that I am like because I am just like all of them. I want this to stop. I have a 12 year old handicapped son and a 9 year old daughter. Both my kids have told me that I yell to much. My husband tells me that I need to control my yelling, because I even yell at him. I was in a controlling verbal abusive, yelling marriage for almost 11 years and I picked up this habit from him. My kids tell me alot that I act like he did. My 12 year old ask me all the time to stop yelling please. He always tells me he wants to move in with my parents. I throw things when I get angry and I am worried that one of these days I will hurt them. I am really worried that my anger will get out of control and I will cause my son to have a seizure. Please I need help!!

I am not even sure where to begin, but the anger illness show from Thursday, November 9th really touched home.
My husband and I are expecting our first child and I am worried that my anger will be let out on him/her as well. For years my family has known me to be intolerant, cranky, and there is a running 'joke', "Don't talk to Missy first thing in the morning!" I can get so mad at anything - it honestly feels like my head will pop off of my shoulders, my blood pressure sky rockets and I feel I've lost control of my thinking and my actions. The ironic thing is, to outsiders I am not like this - people outside of my family/marriage would not believe I have this rage. I have been married for 4 years now and I cannot let go of even minor things my husband may have done - and I continuously bring things up - and yell and question why it happened, 'what were you thinking', etc.. If I am not angry I have many 'down' times where I just want to cry and distance myself from people. I have no idea how my husband could love someone who is so mean, but then my anger/depression takes over and I wonder if I even love hiim - why would he do things to make me angry if he loved me?
Many people say it's the pregnancy hormones - well, I have been like this since before puberty, so I am tired of looking for excuses and want to find a solution.
Also, I have entered myself into counselling, but stopped going b/c I was too embarrassed to actually talk about feelings I have - wouldn't want a stranger thinking badly of me.
When I was in my early 20's I started taking Sarafem - many take this for a week before their menstral cycle, but I took it every day of the month. This helped, but when I moved to another area of IL the doctor I saw didn't believe in the drug and therefore I was too passive and let it go - I wish I had gone to another doctor, but as I mentioned before, I am embarrassed of my feelings.
There is an anger illness quiz on this website - I took it prior to writing this and nearly every answer was yes.
Any advice you could pass on - or if there are referrals you could give me for the area in which I live it would be highly appreciated.
Many thanks!

Dear Dr. Keith,
I watched your show on anger illness on Nov.9th. Your show really hit home to me. I found myself in tears because I could relate to most of what the women were going through. I have 2 children both boys ages 3 and 4. I find myself snapping at them over the littlest thing..mostly because they dont listen to me. I have tried to do what most women do by going into another room and counting to 10. I find myself comming back and it all comes back again. I know I have an anger problem and I do believe that I have anxiety and depression. I do spank my children...most of the time I over do it. I feel very guilty when I do spank my children. This is an everyday situation for me. I know I need help. I want help!! I often think I wont have the time for therapy or if it would do any good for me. My husband knows that I do need some help...he stands by me and understands that I do get stressed. He wants me to get help too. I know that I need to do something before it does progress into something else. I am so afraid that my anger will affect my children in the future and that they will not love me. My worst fear is that my children will grow up to afraid of me. I dont want my children to think that they have to be careful of what they say and do in order not to make me angry. I love my children and my Husband very much. Thank you for taking the time to read my response to your show. And it is very relieving to know that I am not alone. thank you Dr. Keith
Sincerely, Christy from MA

I had recorded the Anger Illness show and just watched it. I feel like I suffer from the same thing. Although, I don't want to blame my past on how I act. I just want to get better and quit yelling at my daughter. She is 5 years old, and we have another child on the way. I find myself yelling at my daughter constantly. Over everything...her room, homework, eating. You name it, I yell about it. I disgust myself by doing this, and am shocked at the things I say and do. I just don't know how to control the anger.

Unfortunately, "anger illness" was not a diagnosis when I was a young mom. After watching your show, I am convinced that I had anger illnes while I was raising my two children. They are now grown adults( a wonderful sensitive son 31 and a beautiful 28 year old daughter, who is now a new mom herself). It was only after they were grown that I was diagnosed with depression and was put on medication that helped me put to rest the demons of anger that haunted me. Now the only thing haunting me is knowing I caused my children so much pain and seeing the effects of what this has done to my kids.

I caught a glimpse of the Today Show 11/9/2006. The topic was anger illness. Does this only affect women/mothers? My best friend of 40 years was murdered by her husband of 32 years last year. He has always had a short temper. I never saw him get violent but it was earth shattering to hear his voice when he was angry which was more often than not.

I watched your show on Anger Illness and I cried through the entire episode. I identified most with Abby and her two young children. My four year old gets the brunt of my anger and it hurts me to hear her say how much she doesn't like me. Thank you for bringing this issue to light. Too many moms out there think they are bad people or that their children will be taken away for speaking up. I can't thank you enough.

my daughter and i were watching your show and she said,mom u seem sort of like them. i do have a lot of stress, don't sleep well and i'm taking care of everything by myself. i feel most of my anger is financial stess more than anything. i just would like to feel happy. i never get a break on anything. i'm just trying to get by.

Thank you so much for your show on Anger illness. I just gave birth to my 4th child 8 weeks ago and have been very irritable and angry with my other dc when they will not listen. Just the other day I grabbed my 6 year old daugher and screamed in her face. After I felt so guilty and sat on my bedroom floor crying. I feel like a failure when it comes to being their mom. They each mean the world to me , yet my words and anger hurt them so deeply. Thank you for letting me know that i am not alone and there is help.

Hi, Today I was watching your show, and I see me like this woman, I know , I lost my control with my kids, please letme read more about this, i'm sorry, about how write this note, I'm from mexico, and I dont speak and write a good english, tankyou

I have the anger illness. I have 3 children ranging in age from 7 to 11 months. I always controlled my temper until I had children. The oldest 2 are adopted. I get so angry all the time at them. I go through the day never smiling at them. I know I have a problem but dont know how to handle it. I am married but dont have much family help, I am a stay at home mom so we cant afford sitters, I feel stuck and helpless.

I seen your show for the first time today.
It is amazing how many people out there has the same problems..and dont realize that there is help and life does get better..
the poor children are the oneswho i feel bad for...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I thought I was just a horrible mom. It doesn't make me feel good that I lose my temper so easily, but at least I know what to label it. I always feel guilty after yelling at my children and I know it's not them I am angry at but I can't seem to stop myself. I will look for more information on this illness. Thanks for drawing attention to it.

I saw your show today and I can relate. What are some good tips for mother that are suffering threw this as a single parent?

I saw myself on your show today.I am those woman. My oldest daughter just left me shes 15 to stay with her father and it is due to my rage and uncontrollable anger. I want help for me and my younger children that have to stay cause her father is still with me. I want to make things right with the oldest even if she doesn't come back. I called the local mental health dept after your show today.

I watched today's show and I saw myself in each of the mothers. I look forward to more shows that deal with this issue and how to overcome it.

dr,Keith
I saw your show today 11-9-06, on Anger Illness and I cried the whole show.
I saw my self in all the guest on todayz show.
i've never been physically
abusive to my children.
but i'm verbally abusive.
and I need help. I feel as if i'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
thankz 4 listening.

I have anger illness and it is hurting my kids. I have a hard time keeping control of my temper when my kids are not listening to me. I believe that part of overcoming this condition is giving mothers parenting tips on how to deal with our kids bad behavior. I lose my temper when I don't know what else to do. It is a vicious cycle that I pray I can break.

I watched the 11/9/06 show. I wish it had given some suggestions or techniques to use to help. My daughter and grandson came to live with my husband and myself two years ago. The last two years have been getting progressively worse. She said her anger would get better after her divorce was final. It's not. It's worse.

It doesn't help to say "get counseling". I have depleted my savings account trying to help her. The church we attend paid for counseling that helped while she attended, but gave no lasting results. Some true-life suggestions on how to deal with anger issues is needed.

I watched your anger illness show today. I have to admit that I am one in the same with your guests. I have been in the childrens place and now I am in the mothers position. I want to be a better person, but sometimes I can't. Sometimes I dont know who I am. My husband and three boys are the ones who get the brunt of my anger. My co-workers only know me as a soft, friendly person. Thank you for the show today. Tina

Dr. Keith,

My husband asked me to watch you show about anger illness. I know take Lexapro and I have taken Zoloft. But now, when I raise my voice even once, he will make the comment, "Go take your Zoloft." in front of the kids. Now, my oldest daughter feels that she can battle against me because she sees it. I do my best with all I do, but my anger is more of feeling unappreciated. How do you express over and over again to your family how you feel and they just keep goin?

I am sorry to say that I can relate to the women on todays show who are sad and hurting because of their anger illness. I would like some help and need to heal. I am concerned that my daughter might carry on this distructive behavior. Please send help!

Hi Dr. Keith, I am married and have 3 children. When I am feeling overwhelmed I yell at my children and feel rage inside. I know my mother had anger illness and now I'm afraid of passing this on to my children. One mom said she yelled at her 3 year old for doing 3 year old things; such as spilling a drink. I do that! and once it starts it is so hard to stop the yelling. I hate it when this happens and when it is happening my gut is telling me this is wrong. What am I to do to put an end to this?

I am the mother of a beautiful 20 year old daughter who has 'anger illness'. Years of therapy haven't helped, medications haven't helped. I've always thought it's more a 'habit' that she can't break and behavioral therapy would help her, but all the doctors just want her on drugs! We've thankfully survived several suicide threats and three 'known' attempts. Please help! I want my daughter back!
Thank you, Sherry

myhusband and i both
have anger problems.
My Daughter has a
double dose. ADDHD
10 broken windows.
10 Broken phones.
Broken coffee pots.
Broken vaccuum cleaners. Broken
entry doors. Her
husband also has anger
problems which they
currently do not want
to face. I wanted to
give her up for
adoption because i knew that my husband
and i were not good
for her but could not
bring myself to do it. I have had 2
hospitalized breakdowns 1978 and 1988. and several
other breakdowns.
Plus extreme paranoia
about medication because i have had a
lot of reactions to
medications.(severe
reactions)De Nile is
not just a river in
Egypt.

i watched the show today about ANGER ILLNESS. i do it all the time to my 5 year old but not to my 8 month old. i am not sure why i choose one over the other but i yell and scream at her and hit her. i wish i wouldnt i feel bad for it and i have told one of my friends that i feel bad for it. i dont know where to look to get help if anyone knows a number i can call. i would love to get help in fixing this problem.i dont want my kids to think i hate them.

I was watching the show about anger illness and I see myself in those other moms. I have a 3 year old and a 23 month old and I yell at them all the time and then feel bad. I think every morning to myself that this will be a better day. It turns out not to be a good day. My parents divorced when I was 9 and all I remember is that my day yelled all the time and was abusive towards my mom. She took the hits for me. I cried when I saw the show I saw my everyday life. Thanks for the show. I may need to seek professional help.

I watched your show today and broke down. That was me on that show. I do the same things with my children. I thought it was just me, now I realize I'm not alone. I am going to get help now so my children will love me for me, not because they think they have to.

unlike all of your quests with small children i feel it is to late for my children as they are in there late teens and i fear i have already past it on! I hope by me speaking with them about your show and the way i saw myself in each one of your guests i can let them know the signs and hopefully help them to better people then i was to them! i love my children and like many others i have had a rough road. i also am married to a man that has anger illness but most likely will not take the steps to see it! as none of us like to visit our ghosts to often! thank you for addressing these serious issues and being so personable.

I don't have any children but I still feel that I suffer from the anger illness. My husband is a very gentle loving man but when the "anger" takes over, I yell and curse at him when it is certainly not deserved. He says I have an anger control issue but I have had a very blessed life and don't know why I would have this issue. I have a loving supportive family and intend to have my own children and am worried about how I will act when I am a mother. The only thing I can think of in my life is that I grew up without a father but my mother was always there. I'm scared that my husband will one day say he's had enough. The anger illness does not just occur in mothers, I have it and my husband suffers because of it. We can be having a wonderful time and I ruin it with my uncontrolled anger over something small.

I would like to comment on the anger illness. I am one of these mothers. MY mothers use to be like this with me and my sisters,and I said when I had kids I would never do any of things she did to my kids,but now I am a mother of 3 beatiful girls there ages are 5 ,3 and 1. My mother is actually still like this with my teenage sisters. I think I got pregnant so young because I wanted out of the house because of the way she was. Now I am stuck doing the same things she does and I hate it I don't know how to control it I cry myself to sleep all the time. Lately it has gotten worse and I think I need some help becuase I don't want to lose my kids over it.

While watching the show today, Nov.9th, I coul dnot help but realize that this is my problem along with my depression.

I am a single mom, and tend to yell at my son all the time. Granted, yes he does do things that he should not do, but I tend to over react.

I will be seeking counseling and get help for this issue.

When I watched your show on anger illness today-I felt like those women were describing me. I can relate to everything they were saying. I can't tell you how often I break down in tears worried that I am a horrible mother and am destroying my kids' life and hearts. This show really hit home for me.

I watched your show today about "The Anger Illness".
It was a relief to see that other mothers suffer from the same symptoms that I do. I had no idea what was wrong with me until I watched the show today.
Thank You so much for diagnosing me!

I too believe that I am suffering from The Anger Illness. I have a 6month old son and since the day he was born I have been yelling at him to go to sleep, or stop crying and things like that. I watched the show today and became scared that my child will have to grow up like this.

i love your show. when i saw the one about the "anger illness" i was shocked to see that everything that everybody was saying and how they were feeling, i could relate to it. i even teared up at times because i know i have an issue with anger. i don't even know where it comes from really. i know i need help but every time i try to talk to a counselor i freeze. i have a big problem opening up to people. if you could give me som advice or some medications that might work for me that would be great. thank you so much. i hope to hear from you.

I watched your show and started crying. I have wondered so many times about myself.I am not a mother but I am nineteen and I know I have said some pretty mean things to my best friends that mean the world to me.
Thank you for doing that show.

Watching your show on ANger Illness, your first guest with the 3 year old boy, it exactly like my daughter. She has a 4 and 2 year. She yells and screams and pushes, calls him (the 4 yr. old) names, has threated to lok him out of the house. I want to get her help.

I have an anger problem,I scream and yell at my 18 yr. old son.I was living with my mother and son and was ask to leave the house,move out, now I am miserable,and suffer from depression and cry at night.

Well i was watching your show on thursday at 1:52pm and i felt so bad to see this women and family suffer because of this anger illness, what brakes my heart the most is that my Sister Inlaw has this illenss and doesn't want to realize it, many people tell her this but he always either ignores it or doesn't really care! How can i help her realize that this is what she has and that she needs help?

I want to thank you for your show about the "Anger Illness". I wish my husband had gotten to see the show as I think he also suffers from this affliction (we both do). I am curious if a husband and wife that both have it can 'feed' each others illness? I didn't see any men on your show with the same symptoms.
Thanks for the enlightenment!
Nicolle
Corvallis, OR