I'm a mother of two teenage boys and one 3 year old girl. I have always been open about sex, I had many talks about sex and what it mean, the emotions, how it feel and what risks you take. As a wiccan I have somewhat a diff view on the matter, but wanted my kids to understand what comes from it. I think that a mother, father can't always stop it but given the right info you hope they will do whats right for them. My oldest son had sex with a girl he had been seeing for over a year, he really did love her and it only happened once. After he talked with her and explaned that he thought they had made a mistake. They did date for months after, but She had stated sleep with her exboyfriend behind my sons back. when it came out he had to brake it off with her, which really hurt him. By the way he was 17 at the time. Yes he made a mistake and yes he tried to make it right. We can't always keep them from making this mistake but hopfuly we can help them with it. He is now seeing a girl he has been seeing for awhile now and has decided that this is not a step he wants to take with her. I'm proved of him for taken this step and realizing this is not right for him at this time in his life. I have a good relationship with my sons and so dose there father, so he told us when it happened and how it made him feel. Just a side note he was safe when he did it. We also found out just before the holidays that the ex girlfriend is having a bady, and last we heard was in a mental hospital her mother had been abusing her. My son is not the father. They ended there relationship over a year ago.

The wisdom of man is foolishness in the sight of God............hence in the eyes of men it is right to sleep with any man you are attracted to,then be ready to face the consequences of hardship, pain and vaccum

THIS IS COMING FROM A PRESSURED TEENAGER TO HAVE SEX. THE ONLY REASON THESE YOUNG GIRLS AND BOYS ARE HAVING SEX IS BECAUSE THERE IS NO LOVE AT HOME AND THEY FEEL NEGLECTED AND SO IF THEY CANT GET THAT LOVE IN THE HOUSE THEN THEY KNOW THERES SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN GIVE AND SHOW THEM LOVE IN A MORE AFFECTIONET WAY!!!!

I am 25 years old and have 5 children. I had my oldest a week before I turned 17. When I look back I realize that I had to grow up quick. When I watch all these talk shows, I don't understand how these young moms have kids but then does not want the responsiblity of raising them.

I would just like to reply to a comment by Dyan, trust me that these kids will find anywhere to have sex, including in school. As far as where the parents are, I happen to know one of the girls and her mom that were on the show that day and know that her mom is also very open with her and tries her hardest to monitor her even though she herself has been battling a horrible cancer for years now. I myself have a teenage son and speak openly with him about sex, does he tell me everything, I doubt it very much. We can not keep our kids under lock and key, (and trust me even then they would find a way). All we can really do is educate them to make the right choices and hope they follow our advice.

All these kids have only a mom involved in their upbrining are having sexual encounters.. why is this not a surprise. When God originated marriage, it was meant to be a permanent bond and to allow both a mother and a father to share the responsiblity.

I was raised with morals and taught that sex before marriage is wrong. After all the bitter tears, regrets and shame displayed by these young girls, I can see that the godly wisdom in the Bible was the best protection for me. I waited until my wedding night to have sex and I have no regrets.

dear keith my name is cassie I am 16 and I have a 6 week old baby and I would like to tell all the young girls sex is not everything just think look where it put me.
cassie,
minnesota

One of the things I think are lacking in today's society is the affirmation of young women blossoming into woman hood. While sex education is important, its primary function is on the body. No time is spent on looking at the sacredness of women being life givers. and all that entails. Young and older women alike often refer to mensus as 'being on the rag' as opposed to looking at periods as being a sacred part of life. In traditional Native American ways, women are seen as very sacred because of thier ability to give life. They are the keepers of the waters, which reflect the life blood of our planet, Mother Earth. Young women who begin to menstruate are taken out to the 'moon lodge' where they receive teachings on womanhood and its responsibilities and sacredness. This helps to affirm women as being of value. I also think that society has become far too sexualized, portraying women as objects, particularily sexual ones. Women are much more than this! I think that this is a sad commentary on how it reflects on women and young girls coming into womanhood. Working in family violence and social work for 20 years, both with perpetrators and survivors of violence, I certainly have seen how prevelent this has become. On a personal note, I lost my virginity when I was 12. The first time I was sexually abused was by a female when I was 10, raped when I was 12. Growing up with violence, I had no personal power what so ever. Sex and sexuality gave me a sense of power in a world where I felt I had none. It also became a bargaining point for drugs and alcohol, and helped to keep the lonliness and fear at bay. The common denominator between today's societal perception of women/young girls and sex/sexual activity, being female, violence and sexual abuse is SHAME. Shame is the belief that there is something inherently wrong with us, particularily as women.

I saw the show on teenage sex and would like to see a show which explores a different perspective. I understand that the father is important in the life of the child. I would like to know why the father is not in the life of the child. Sometimes the father does not want to be and sometimes the mother prevents it. I have seen fathers who want to be involved in the child's life but the mother does not want them to be and use the family court system "the woman's court" against them. There are not the same resourses available for visitation that are out there for child support. When will there be a voice for the father's who want to be a part of their child's life but the system is against them.

In regards to the show on "Teen Sex" - we have a daughter age 16. Not long ago she & her boyfriend, 17, revealed to us that they had sex not long ago. You would not believe the guilt these two kids felt. They both agreed that they made a mistake & would not try it again. As in their words,"we learned a lesson." We listened to them & talked to them but did not critisize in any way. The show really was a great feature. Thanks for touching so many subjects.

My aunt told me about this show and unfortunately I was at work and unable to see it myself. But the brief outline on the web, made be feel like I experienced dejavu. I just found out my 16 year old has had sex. And only because she was found with a boy by a neighbor and I took her to the gyn.

I'm at a lost on how to raise a teenage daughter? We used to have a good relationship. Now she's in a shell and I can't reach her. It makes me angry, disappointed and scared.

First off i love your show and watch it all the time. I'm 16 yrs. old and when i watched this show it hit me really hard. I lost my virginity at the age of 15 and had oral sex at 16. My mother only knows about my first and has no idea about the things i've done. I did finally realize why I do it though. My father isn't really that present in my life. He is usaully workin or watchin t.v. or somethin. I've also had incredibly low self-esteem since i was younger. I've never thought of myself as pretty or anything. So when guys started 2 pay me attention I loved it and felt the only way 2 get it and keep it was to sleep with them. The show really hit home for me and i'm sure for alot of other people too.It was awesome and sooo true.

i think you should do another show like this cause im a teen thats going through the same thing....and i think it could be very helpful to me and some other people i know. I also know someone who is 15 and pregnant now so that would eb helpful. Thanks

i think alot of these comments are wrong being a teenage parent is not wrong its actually the best thing in my life i am 18 and i have 2 beautiful girls a 15 month old and a 4 month old and we have adopted my 7 year old sister so i think if there are any teenage parents out there and you just need someone to talk to you can call me because all you need is a little encouragment to be strong and take care of your child no matter what anyone says your child is now your number one priority so being a teen parent may take away all of your teen fun but for me it was all worth it and if i could turn back time i would do it all over again i wouldnt change anything

Have you heard of Kevin Tredo? Book on natural remedies? I believe that chemicals and other unknown substances in food to encourage teens to be sexual. If these chemicals can make us think we are hungry can't they give teens a desire for intercourse/love/addiction/etc? Something is in our food/environment causing this behavior because I can't seem to find one man who can commit/date w/o wanting/forcing sex!!!!

I didn't see your show but
I have a 16 year old boy that is not sexually active but I know a time will come that he will be active and it scares me. I stress all the time about protection; unprotected sex can lead to much worse things than pregnancy.
I tell him all the time...I want the little boy that thought girls were icky...Where is that little boy? Where did he go?
Thats my 2 cents on teen sex...ALL kids boys and girls should get some surgerical procedure done to stop them from having sex until they are old enough to handle the consequences from having unprotected sex.

For SquireelMommie...

The website is Sconex.

To Leonard...

As the parent of a boy, I find that offensive. I find the girls to actually be much more aggressive then the boys. Also, someone needs to tell these girls that boys and girls view sex in different ways. In general, girls think of it as an emotional act while boys, while still that young, for them it is purely physical. They are not emotionally mature enough to think of it in other terms at 14, 15, 16...

I find that the teen years of my child's development are much more complicated then the early years. Heck, potty training and manners were a cake walk compared to raising a healthy, happy, normal teen.

I have a question more than a comment...how does a boy say no to sex? Girls are told they are good and virtuous when they abstain, boys are ridiculed. What advice can I give my son on how to say no without other teens (boys AND girls) making fun of him?

talk about missing the mark on a good idea. not having a true representative of the boys that the girls have to deal with was unfair to the girls and a waste of time. nobody sits you down and says you wont be popular if you dont have sex but you know in that moment that you want that boy to like you and he is telling you what he wants you do so you take the risk hoping it will be worth it.... it hardly ever is

No one has addressed the emotional/spiritual side of premarital sex. I had sex with a boyfriend prior to marriage. We ended up breaking up after 4 years of exclusive dating. That was almost 40 years ago and I still have a lot of emotional baggage because of it. Your body is something precious and not to be abused this way. When you give yourself to someone sexually you give away part of who you are emotionally and spiritually and it will stay with you for life. I wish someone would have shared the emotional consequences with me.

I watched the show today and personally I know about the pressures I'm a seventeen year old girl, but I have decided to wait and yes there are pressures but I think that as girls we need to realize that we don't know what love is until we can love ourselves and if girls don't know what love is guys certainly don't! I think that we need to be nicer to each other to, as girls we can be so mean and catty, we don't get attention except for the attention of immature boys. I also think though that the pressures can come from older men because I am a busty girl and I get men in their forties and fifties asking me to leave with them thinking their going to get lucky because as girls we're suppose to fall all over ourselves to please men, and I dont think that is right at all! We need to help each other be strong and put ourselves before the guys.

I watched the World of Teenage Sex with dismay. How in the world did we come to this..

My highschool teenager says they had a person that came to their school and talked to their class in explicit terms about what was happening and how to NOT get pulled into it. This person described in detail the acts that were being performed and the fact that that the girls are trying to be liked by the boys and the boys are doing what comes naturally if it is offered to them. Can't believe this..........It's really scary with all the STD's and AIDS. And, it is happening IN school....

I saw today's show and I was partly shocked but not too much. I'm 29 yrs old and there was "pressure" when I was in high school too...but it's all in how you deal with the pressure. I remember being in 8th grade, and I knew girls who gave oral sex in the bathrooms, and that was their choice. My parents were very strict, but you can't always watch your kids...just provide them with information and hope they make the best choices they can.
I had sex at 16, and my mom still doesn't know till this day! She would kill me! But I was lucky enough to be involved in a good relationship and my choice ended up being ok for me. I am mostly shocked at how casual oral sex is being viewed. I see "oral" as being much more intimate than actual intercourse and these kids are doing this thinking it's not really sex and that they're still virgins.
I don't agree with parents knowing everything about their kids, but if they do come across this information, instead of condeming them for making a bad decision, inform them and let them know that their actions can change. I got the feeling from the girls on the show that they felt as if, I did this, I can't take it back so I'll keep behaving in this way...but kids need to know that's it's ok to make mistakes but learn from them and change their behavior instead of establishing a bad pattern.
And communicating that relationships are more than just sex...and that relationships are important...I thought it was sad that all of the mom's were single parents. These kids didn't get to see a healthy love relationship...just the broken end result...so maybe that's why they're beginning at the end...with the sex. They don't know what happens inbetween.
Also, parents need to try hard to remember how it was when they were young, and remember the choices they made and respect their children as people that are emerging into adulthood--it's hard to let go and allow your kids to live, learn and grow, but it's an important part of being a parent.

While watching today's show I found myself hearing the same excuses all teenagers use, peer preasure! Personally I think peer preasure is all in the head of the one doing the act. I feel like that some people just need an excuse to try and justify what they are doing.

Growing up parents and teachers always drill the idea that peer preasure exists but I have found out otherwise. I am an 18 yearold college freshman and I have remained a vergin.I understand the concept of peer preasure, but I do not agree with it.

The only people that care that you're not having sex are the ones trying to get into your pants. Infact most guys/girls commend those who have kept themselves, because they wish they had. I have been in long term relationships and never have I found it hard to say "no".
I don't belive it is peer preasure leading todays teens into a world they are not ready to experiance. Personally I think the reason lies underneath our own roofs.

Growing up I have always had a close relationship with my parents and have felt as though, I never wanted to let them down in any way. On the otherhand, many of my friends have not had as good of a relationship with their parents and have turned to other people to fullfill that void within their lives.
I believe that if more teens felt sure of themselves and their self worth they wouldn't look for other alternatives to reassure them of such.
My father has tought me many lessons and has told me many things, but this one particular piece of advice has always remained within my heart and I'd like to share it with you; When ever my dad and I would have our heart to heart talks he would always look me in my eyes and say " At your weeding your husband will receive many gifts and most of them will be the same, but the one gift noone else can give him that you can, is yourself." I have always held this in my heart and it has kept me in troubled times. I know it's not always easy to keep yourself, especially when you think your in love.Once you get older and you love someone, many times you think your ready to go give this person you all, but what happens when your broken up three months later? Well, your lying on the couch eating chocolate wishing you could turn back time.

I hope that someone can use my advice and opinion to improve their lives and become more sure of themselves. Self confidence is the key to abstinence

I saw the show and they all said that they were curious and that they felt pressured and also that they wanted that atention. But I dont think thats it. They want love. Boys take atvantage of that because they're horny. They see an oportunity and theyre not going to let it pass them by. Im not saying its all boys either it just happens. The girls want to be loved like no other. Fairytale like. In this world love real love is the closest thing we have to magic. Physical mistaken for emotional. A viod that can't be filled. Legs.Open.Very.Easily. L.O.V.E.
crude and childish as saying that may be its true. We take what we can get even if we know we deserve better. Then some of us are let on and then we're left bitter with memories of sweet nothings. Do not question where my parents were its not their fault it was not their decison. Im not wild my parents dont let me run loose. The fact is if your kids want to find a way they will its not because you were a bad parent its just because "if there is a will there is a way". It was my decison and I made my choice. Whats done is done. I have no regrets.
The only thing I have to say to any girls out there is dont get pressured into it. Nobody can make you do anything. Do it because YOU want to.

What kind of mother has to be made to give her child love > I dont think it is the childs falt for her actions. I hope she reads this bless her that mother should be ashamed of her self that would be a good show MOTHERS THAT PUSH THERE KIDS TO SEX! sad sad tell that little black girl she is loved she is so cute and sweet dont let her mother reck her life

I started watching the show today on teen sex at the 21 minute mark. I have two boys ages 15 and 11. Last year after my 11 year old watched the film on puberty, in the 5th grade the teachers were criticized for their participation in the discussion that followed. There were only a handful of parents that had a problem with the questions that the children asked and the teachers answered. Most of the parents were satisfied with the discussion and were happy the students were comfortable enough to ask questions in a safe educational environment. I wish those parents that were shocked or uncomfortable could watch this program. More information is better than none at all or misinformation. Thank you for providing this important program. Is there any way to reach out to schools to provide the open discussion that I say today?

Thank you again.

Carolyn

I enjoy your show today and was ver concern. We moved from CT. to Ok. and i believe here the people feels as if it is ok that their 13 year old is pregnant. What can be done to stop this madness. If they are with child the youth is doing drugs. help

Dr. Keith, I just want to comment on your show about the sex life of teenagers and stuff. Quite honestly, I don't understand how the girls who want to get more attention because their fathers aren't around need to have sex. My parents have been divorced and I don't see my dad, yes I miss him and I wish I had a father role-model in my life, but I also have a boyfriend whom I've been dating for 19 months. I understand they might need attention, but that is no reason to being sexual. You can't be sexual with your father, so I don't get that. I'm 16 and yes I have had sex. I had sex after we were together for 8 months, but did I do it for attention? No, I did it because I wanted to and I don't regret it, but it's not something that I'm always thinking about doing. I think that this show needs to be replayed so that other people can see it, and yes I agree with you that the parents need to sit down and talk to their kids. My mom hasn't talked to me about sex at all and she doesn't know I've had sex. I wish I could talk to my mom, because honestly, I'd get on birth control or something so I was being as safe as possible. One of the kids on the show said there weren't condoms used all the time because people get caught in the moment. There is no excuse for not taking a moment to put on a condom. It is a life changing mistake to get pregnant as the guest speaker said, and wearing a condom doesn't make sex okay, but if you are going to do it and you are stuck on doing it, kids need to talk to their parents and do the right things. I loved the show today though, I just wish I could have been there to ask questions and maybe talk to the kids.

I think sex is a bad idea and i learned STARS in Health talking bout sex and that you can have a sti infection and Hiv virus if your partner or you have hiv aids hiv and you can spread it really easily plus you can get pregnant I don't really want to have sex until i get married too

Im 21 and about to have my first child and i could literally go into labor at any moment. I'm not with her father anymore and I have a strong sense of family so this really hurts me. I learned, too late, that I wasn't ready to have sex and everything that comes with it. I never had sex because of peer pressure - I did it because I thought I wanted to when I was 19. I was NOT ready, I'm still not ready and the guy I'm starting to see knows i'm not ready for this and he is OK with it. I wish these girls would realize you get more respect, attention and affection when you DONT have sex. I also am Lutheran and believe sex outside of marraige is wrong and it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that i was doing something that I completely disagreed with. I will keep girls this young in my thoughts because its just sad. Sex without meaning is demeaning.

As a parent of a 15yr old son I'm proud that my son is't active.I do keep him very close.Most important we can talk about anything.

I came into this show on "World of Teen Age Sex" half way through. I wish my kids were able to watch the show themselves. I personally talk to my children. In fact do know that my daughter 14 has made the first step in touching. My son 17, denies sexual activity but I don't necessarily believe him. How can I get a copy of this show?

My daughter wears a "love can wait" ring and is proud that she wants to wait, but I don't know if it will keep her from oral sex or intercourse with all the pere pressures.

I feel, being a 19 year old teenager myself, that this show was very helpful and will be in the future to a lot of people. I have not crossed that mile stone yet and had sex either but one of the most common reasons I here is b/c they want attention or b/c they are just curious. This was the first show I've watched of Dr. Keith and I was very pleased.

On the show today ( The secret world of teenage sex)I was shocked at how young some of these children were. Where are the parents of these children? I have a twelve year old and I can't imagine her having sex...she is just a child! I just wish I could be there to ask those kids where they found the time or place to be sexually active. I am very open with my daughter about sex and her body, I just hope that it is enough for her to think twice before making a choice that she can't take back or change. Thank you for your show,
Atlanta Mom.

I like watching your show, today on teenage sex I feel that the girls need to know that boys are out for just one thing to please themselves plus they need to be aware of all the std's out there and they need to think of all they meaning the girl would have to give up being a teenage parent which is like a 24 hour job with no breaks or time for themselves.

Leonard

What was the website the first mom was talking about? The one about the school.