Men and women should remain faithful to eachother. Whoever you are with cheating is cheating.
What happened to staying faithful to your partner or spouse? I still it wrong what they are doing because they emtionally mature to understand what they are doing.

I'm writing a paper on the subject of this "New Monogamy" article. The couples in the article are very defensive when they are compared to swingers or polyamorous couples. With swinging, the couple usually interacts with another couple, with "New Monogamy" or managed monogamy, one may go at it alone and one of the persons in the couple may not be interested in partaking at all. I believe the people in the article want there to be a distinction even if swingers or people not in the lifestyle want to lump them into the same group. I would admit for safetys sake, having the couple together meeting and playing with another couple is better than say having the female meet a complete stranger, this could be disasterous. What if on the other hand the man meets a single woman that turns out to be a fatal attraction. In my opinion, it's a much safer bet for one couple to meet and interact with another couple in that the have a better sense of what the other couple is about. Couples being honest about their own individual interests and desires fare better in that they must maintain open communication in all aspects of their relationships.

Over half of all marriages in this country end in divorce, the majority of those that don't aren't doing very well. I don't think that we are going out on a limb here when we say that there is something wrong. Couples who engage in Non-monogamous relationships (in my experience) tend to fare much better, yet they are often condemned because they don't fit into the "moral" framework of the Vanilla World. But lying, omitting and cheating are more readily acceptable behaviors. Ugh...I don't know if I'll ever understand why some people care what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedrooms. Judgemental people will go down with thier ship rather than simply admit that Swingers might be on to something.

We include same room only and no time taken from each other.

After watching your show on the "new monogamy" I was completely amazed at how many people did not understand this lifestyle. One audience member even went so far as to ask what kind of role model you can be for your children. First, my child has no reason to know my personal life. This is something that does not need to be discussed with your children. As a parent you would not discuss mommy & daddy's sex life with your child regardless is if was just the two of them or with another single or couple. Secondly, I laughed when I realized what "new monogamy" was about. People have been in this lifestyle for decades. The only new thing is that people are willing to be open about it. Finally, if you believe that not a single person in the audience ever had a three-some or some type of encounter like that you would be wrong. Some people aren't secure enough to admit it.

Congrats for the Dr not doing the usual judge mental spin.

It works for millions of Americans and millions more around the world. But only if in a totally honest truly loving relationship with your prime partner.

There are millions of other Americans that don't have all the rules that these swingers need but can have real loving relationships with more than one person. They realize that Loving more does not mean loving any one else less. No, not in Mormon type male dominated polygamy but in equal relationship polyamory.

Jealousy in my view is the opposite of love.

Just like most all animals, most humans have a natural desire to share intimately and sexually with more than just one other person, it is a natural as many studies have shown.

In biblical times there was nothing wrong with a man having as many wives or concubines as he could afford. Adultery by definition was a property right violation of a husband over his wives.

Today we don't own our wives and concubines and women have the same right to sexual freedom as men did in biblical times.

Swingers are a lot more common than people will probably think. We have been “In the lifestyle” for over 7 years and it works well for us. We have met people from all walks of life and have discovered that the best people suited for swinging are middle to upper class people. The very poor simply cant hang in there with swinging because it is an expensive hobby. A typical dance and motel party can cost a couple of hundred bucks.

Below are a few reasons why we feel it works for us and could well work for almost every couple
Reasons Swinging Works
1. Jealousy is gone or at least minimized to a manageable amount. If your wife looks at another man at the mall and you catch her there can be conversation between the man and wife that actually can strengthen the marriage bonds instead of the anger that a lot of men feel
2. After a period of time, some couples will get bored with the sex that they are getting from each other. This can and has led to affairs that can and has led to nasty divorces. Being in the “Lifestyle” will allow the couples to “sow their Oats”
3. It is a pretty good feeling that your spouse is attractive and instead of harboring resentment when someone of the opposite sex “hits” on your wife or husband it should act as a reassurance that you made a good choice by marrying him or her.
4. In a lot of relationships the husband and wife will get themselves into a rut both sexually and emotionally. We have a habit of doing the same things over and over again, Same techniques, same position sexually, after a while the interest in sex with your partner does diminish.
5. There is absolutely a difference between sex and love. Some people have a harder time drawing the line between the two and for those people I strongly suggest you not even entertain the idea of swinging. Swinging is not for everyone . But for the people that it is for , It can be a great asset to a marriage

I watched your Friday episode with great interest, since my husband and I are also active participants in what you term the "new Monogamy" but what participants terms as the "lifestyle" or "swinging".

I felt that Pat and her husband were wonderful examples of the lifestyle. However, choosing people who have been together only 3 months is not indicative of the people we've met.

Most of the people we've met have been married for longer than 5 years and do NOT "play" alone under any circumstances.

You'll find that those who play alone are pushing the envelope in that there is a much greater risk of emotional involvement (with only two people being intimate rather than four), which is something most swinger's run from as soon as it rears its ugly head.

We've met the youngest couple on the panel and were surprised at some of the things they said, since they were untrue.

Overall the show was "ok". Remember that each and every "Swinging" situation is different, and good and honest communication between the members of the couple prevents the problems that you'd mentioned on the show from ever happening - jealousy, forming inappropriate emotional bonds, etc.

"No means NO" is a big rule in the Lifestyle. It is not even questioned. If another couple turns you down or declines something.... you immediately respect their wishes and don't ask why... you just move on.

"Always ask before touching." Another huge rule in the Lifestyle. At parties you must ALWAYS ask someone before touching and you never make assumptions in that regard.

"Soft swap only" a rule for those that only engage in oral sex with others.

"Never Bareback" a rule that means they always use condoms.

"Only play with Unicorns" those couples that only play with single females....3 somes. Unicorns are hard to find...hense the name.