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Hi, I'm 15 years old and my ex-boyfriend is 16. We recently broke up, but we are friends with benefits. He doesn't want to be in a relationship but he still wants to be with me. Another thing is I still love him but he only loves me as a best friend. We also have problems with him and other girls and people telling me that he cheating on me. But every time he said it wasn't true. So he change for me so our realtionship could be better. It was and we still aruged a lot, but we always got over our problems and it seemed like we couldn't be without each other. Our love was very strong, but it has faded, do you think that him getting kind of closer to other girls maybe caused problems with our realtionship even though he said that he would ever hurt me. So I have to make a choice because I'm afraid of him moving on when I'm not ready to so I need some advice to decide what exactly should I do? Should I wait for him to turn around or should I just let him go?

Hi Dr. Keith

Hello My name is Toby and My boyfriend name is Kenny and we are both a gay. WE are together for 4 yrs a long time and I do still love with kenny in my life you know and He always Love me , I want to him to get back together with me again of boyfriend . I want to have sex with him and he not want sex with me and we not have sex for 5 months ago . I want to him try stop to look for a cute boys and My feeling hurt and crying I love him with all my heart and we need to work on it be together our reltionship ... ? You know and Please need your help us make better do it . I not want to lose him and I want to him make me feeling be safely stay together forever.

Thank you , Toby

I feel like I do not love my husband as deeply as I used to, is this normal? He feels similar. I am a Virgo he is a Cancer. Are we not compatible? I thought we were soul mates, boy were we wrong. I feel like we are gettimg more distant but when we argue, we cannot stay away from each other more than a week. He misses me and I miss him. We also have a 2 year old son together. Anyone out there know why we feel like this? We are a lot a like and maybe that is the problem. We are together I feel more for the baby. I am not employed and he is. I have had a rough life so has he only in different ways. Anyone have some advice? We argue about every 2 weeks and can push each others buttons a little too far.

Thank You.

Tina
Oregon

Im not to sure if I believe in love fading?
I've been married 22 yrs.
Got married at 17.
My marrage is very good.I dont think its fading I think people start to get comfortable and settled...
you have to work at a marrage and keep the flame going.our yongest will be 18 and me and my husband are planning trips and all the things we can do now that the children are grown..Now its our turn to have fun. People look outside the marrage because they want that fresh first time exitment of a relationship and after being married for so long they seem to forget that they already have that in their own life..

Hi Dr.Ablow,
The issue in my relationship is a little bit different than most. My love is fading. My fiancee' told me the day before yesterday that he thinks he love me more than I love him. And I actually had no words, because part of me feel that way. We also are young parents, and thats alot to handle. Extra stress in our relationship. I also have trust issues with him because he has cheated on me in the past. Sometimes its unbearable to know that he cheated and for me to know he loves me. Sometimes I feel he doesnt really love me. But, he makes sure I know it every chance he gets. Its like now I see that hes has took a part of my sanity. I always think he cheating on me, then he'll prove me wrong and I feel better, until I get that feeling all over again. Its very stressful.And he always wants to be around me, but I only do to make him happy I really dont feel like being with him 24 hours, a day. I guess were on two different pages right now. It'll come out one day.

Loving which is ongoing never fades. When we are Being Loving, everything blossom/bloom.

When we say we just love those in our immediate family, mates/children/mother/
father,etc, only, we are clueless as to what Love/Loving is.

Loving is to Be in us, then we can be in loving.

In True loving, there is no doubts, ifs, ands, and buts. It just Is.

Be the change the world needs to see, and we will know what Loving Is.

I Am loving.

I am 29 years old and have been married since I was 21... My husband & I were friends since I was 15 & dated for 2 years before we were married... I can not tell you how many times it has felt as if our love was fading... But the truth is that our society has mis-informed us about what love really is: Love is not a color that fades, or a chemical flood of the brain that passes--- Love is a job, it's a series of responsibilities. Love is what we call the things that we must do to keep a relationship alive. Once you connect yourself to another human being--- You both become dependent on the actions of the other person for your health & happiness. Not in a way that suggests you can not be healthy or happy without the other persons consent or permission... But each person must apropriatley respond to the other in order to maintain their own health & happiness. Parent & child relationships require this work. Why is it so un-desirable for us to imagine working for marital relationships? Love does not come natural- attraction does, care & even concern does-- but love is what comes after you decide that you like a person enough to apply for the job. Misunderstanding love is what causes people to allow their attraction, care & concern to fade away. Instead of recognizing sickness in the relationship and taking action to heal the infected areas- people place blame or avoid the uncomfortable areas all together. Until the infection spreads and the relationship dies. I believe that the most wise thing I ever told my husband was that if he cheated on me I would not leave him but that he might wish that I did for a while--- I then explained to him how hurt I would be and how I would instinctually put up emotional defenses that would cause us both all sorts of pain & suffering... I made it clear to him that my feelings for him are not conditional but that my abillity to express them is (somewhat) dependant on how well he does his job of caring for them ( my feelings). As a parent should never give up on a misbehaving toddler a spouse shouldn't quickly give up on a misbehaving spouse. If a child is still acting up as a teenager the parents response may be to send them away to boot camp or boarding school but we put a few good years of compassionate training into our kids before we give up. I think a marriage relationship should be given the same if not more attention and should be veiwed as a new born from the time a couple decides to connect. I am pleased to report that my husband & I have matured a great deal over our 8 year marriage and our daughter can rest assured that we are always going to work hard at our job of keeping our relationship alive.

Dear Dr. Ablow. Why do you make the disclaimer that you are not the perfect husband? Haven,t you felt the pendulum swing way past center point a long time ago, and arent we as men expected to be perfect,while women with their new axe of power,have turned us into snivelling men who are so afraid to speak their minds that its an embarrssment to be one. please do a show on gender inequity soon, men are dying to be the perfect husband and mate, while women weild the ferocious ax of public humility, and never put themselves to the same standard, please help to genuinly bring both sexes to the table of reason, humility, and mutual understanding and forgiveness. thank you!

Lori,
I agree with you!
I've been marrried 15 years and I di think lovefades away after awhile...Although I don't think men see it that way ;/

I think seth needs to tell whats on his mind you could tell he was holding back. To me it look like he was protecting her and taking the blame for every thing. She sat there and look like a little angel. Why didnt someone ask misty why she does not work and what kind of heath problem she has Preventing her from working a full or a Part time jobs. Plus why didnt she get a lie detector when she has cheated also. Put both of them on the spot not just one.

This show was foolish. I can't blame him for wanting to escape from his situation.. and maybe the only escape for him was sex with a co-worker. Someone to listen and sympathize with his rough sitaution. I am not saying what Seth did was right, but giving him the lie detector test made him look like a criminal. As far as I am concerned, the sister of the wife should have kept her mouth shut and never suggested that her sister and the baby move in with her. Who the hell is she to try to break up a couple despite of their lousy troubled relationship. I think it is sad that it took a lie detector for the sister in law to see any good in Seth. This couple will probably divorce in the end because who wants to get emasculated on national television for everyone to see? Some people should just keep their dirty laundry in the house and clean up their own mess.

I also feel that you did not help this couple in anyway, you were more set on the fact that Misti find out how many times Seth cheated on her, why should that even matter, he admitted to cheating that is the main fact. I also feel that Misti was putting on an act in a sense that she was this innocent, young mother, maybe she should have been giving a lie detector test also, for the fact that she didn't seem like she was telling the whole truth.

I found the show very unfair to Seth. The truth is she has no right to be mad when she has cheated on him numerous of times with different men. She failed to mention this when it's a fact. She should have recieved a lie detector test also. Someone should tell him how he has been kept in the dark about her behaviors or maybe he should open his eyes and take a good look at what she does.

I feel very strongly about Love fading. I am 19 and have a 4 month old daughter who is my world. I am still with the father going on 3 years now and I believe our love is fading. I feel it's just this uncontrolable natural thing that men do after a while...(give up) they stop trying to make us feel good, feel like woman so that they can get control thinking that we will never leave them. And it's true if a woman doesn't feel like a woman they just settle instead of taking a chance at getting hurt.