Dear Dr. Ablow,
I recently moved to the States permanently from India and I must share that this is the first show that I started watching when I moved here. I must tell you that this is one of the shows that is so dear to my heart and I never miss watching one. Congratulations to you and your team to keep up this great work.

Dr. Keith: I watched your show for the very first time today. I was impressed with the professionalism present throughout the show. Your guests today were the "Psychic Twins". I was touched by your offer to have your producer help the young lady in the audience find her birth parents. Thank you for doing that. I will say that I will now begin to pay attention to your show, topics and guests that you have in the future. Sincerely, Asuncion S. Cruz

Dear Dr.Keith,
im 19 years old me and my boyfriend have been togeather for about a year now and in the beginning i used to bug him and bug him to tell me the truth on what he thought of me if he thought i was fat and ugly, (i hate the way i look) and he used to tell me that i could stand to lose a couple pounds, and now i ask him and he tells me no and that i am so beautiful to him and that he loves the way i look, i feel like he is lying to me, he is constantly trying to change himself and i feel like that means i have to change myself also for him for him to like the way i look, am i overreacting? how do i know what the real truth is???

I really love your show and i watch it every chance i get in the afternoon. Some of the story your have on i can relat to because i have been there myselfe. I been out of prison for six years and i'm struggling everday to make ends meat but i got the support from my husband and i'm went back to school and got my assoiate in parlegal and now my bachlor in criminal justice. Right now i'm haveing a re time of finding a job in my field because when i have been. I'm not letting that stopping in finding my dream job and i'm not letting prison break me either.

Comment on Kipnapped Bride:

That BRIDE should be GLAD that her parents care enough about her to want to discuss the important step of Marriage with her BEFORE she takes the leap, pregnant or not!

I, myself, was pregnant at 19 & my parents thought only to make it LEGAL, for the child's sake, never considering the background of the man I was about to marry. It took 15 years of physical/mental abuse before I had the courage to leave this nightmare!

My daughter, at 20, left for a COMMUNE (with child) at the convincing of the father - today that boy (30) is a DRUG ADDICT, unable to hold a job or relate to rational life - maybe SHE should have been kidnapped (and SAVED)!!!

Dr. Ablow,
You are one of the truly great tv teachers. Yet, at the end of today's (01/29/07) show, I saw you try to force the kidnapped UT woman make up with her disturbed mother before she is ready to move in that direction--and before the mom has had help--and lots of it! Isn't that too much of a risk to the young woman's unborn child?

Can you help us? My husband and I are desperate to have a child before it’s too late and have run into obstacles at every turn. We’ve had financial, legal, insurance and medical complications. Since we have male factor infertility, if I can’t have my husband’s baby then maybe it doesn’t matter whose I have. It’s getting to the point where I’m considering going out to bars on weekends to pick up men in hopes of achieving a pregnancy.

We had health insurance which covers in-vitro fertilization but it is about to run out. We were hoping to get in one more cycle of IVF before that happened, but earlier this month I developed a pulmonary embolism as a result of the fertility shots I was taking. The hematologist recommended waiting 3 to 6 months before trying again but if we do we’ll have no insurance coverage for it and I have no idea where we’d come up with the money. Even if we did get the money, it’s sounding like our fertility clinic may refuse to treat me as I am now at higher risk of developing life-threatening complications. Do they have a right to refuse me if I promise not to sue them? If I can’t become a mom, I’m not sure I want to live anyway. Nurturing is the only thing I’ve ever been good at. I was a nanny in school and always wanted to have kids of my own.

Shouldn’t it be my decision whether to take my life into my own hands and take the chance on becoming pregnant? Other people don’t need anyone’s permission to have kids, why should we? If terminally ill patients can elect to have do not resuscitate orders, why can’t I decide whether to take the risk of dying in the process of trying to become a parent? No one’s around to stop me from going skydiving or doing anything else that people risk their lives doing every day, like driving too fast or taking drugs or having uprotected sex (none of which I do!). There’s a high-risk pregnancy practice at a hospital in our town, so it’s not like I can’t be properly monitored. I’d like to do this with the cooperation of the medical establishment, as I think that’d be a safer bet, but I will do whatever I have to do to have a baby, one way or another.

Dear dr. Ablow;

War seems to be on many people's minds. Why not look
into WHY war is considered the
way to deal with the world .
You might invite intellectuals
like Noam chomski, Amy Goodman
or even Michael Moore.
Yes, I am a Veteran.
And against illegal wars.
Here is the chance to make the nation safer.
Peace. g.

Dr. Keith,
I am so upset with my life right now. The worse part about this whole situation is that it is not just one part of my life it is EVERY part of my life. My relationship with my father is, most likely, the worse that is has ever been. I am trying so hard to make a relationship with him work but he just continues to push me away. It seems as though if it does not revolve around him, he does not care. I even took my boyfriend of two years, the man that I plan to marry to meet him and all he did 99.5% of the time that we were at his house he was somewhere else or doing something else. He had not seen me in over a year and he chose to be somewhere else then spending time with me. Last month when I called my father to tell him that I had had a stroke (at 21 years old) all he could say to me was, "Call me when you are feeling better." Not having a father in my life has destroyed so many things for me. Everything from choices that I made to relationships with men and other members of my family.
Another part of my life that is upseting is my health. A head injury from my USMC service has caused horrible seizures, headaches and strokes. It seems as though as soon as I take a step forward in and something gets better I get knocked back down by another health problem. It has caused me to now be out of work and damaged my selfesteem so badly I can barely dress in the morning with out crying. I have to keep my medical records on me at all times because something could happen anywhere and it scares me to death.
My relationship with the man of my dreams is going down hill. I hate what is happening and I feel like I am powerless to stop it. We fight too much and love to little. He is the love of my life, he is my whole world and the only support that I have in my life and because of my depresion he feels as though he does not matter. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am at a total loss on how to fix my quickly fraying life.
Scared to death,
Amanda

Hi Dr Keith and staff,
I'm a 52 yr old grandma,I birth one daughter,she's 38,she was in prison for 14+ yrs,leaving me to raise her then1yr old&2yr old,they are 20 &21 now and both in college,my daughter has been home now for about 4 yrs,and has since then been back on drugs and off again,almost 25 yrs ago I myself used drugs and ran the street,since that time I've been in the church ,raised the kids,married a man that was on drugs,and went through all the fringe benefits of that lifestyle,I have now my second home and have finally gotten rid of all the woes from my family drama,and I think my husband too,he's currently in a rehab center for the hundreth time,and I'm alone trying to re-establish my life,its been very hard,but in the goings on of everything I gained a lot of weight and have tried everything to lose weight,I weigh 290,I've never been so big in my life,I've been very depressed for some years through and from the massive amounts of things that have been going on with and because of my family,and maybe thats what you should be asking me about its really deep and I am wtiting a book about some of the bazarr things that have taken place

Dear Dr. Keith,
I am writing in response to your about the lady in Pa. suffering with Agorphobia. I am a 47 yr old woman. I had suffered with this Panic disorder with Complex Agoraphobia, I went to therapists, tried the behavioral things, I did evreything. This began in my life when I was 22. Became housebound and saw a Phil Donohue show on Agoraphobia, decided I had to do something. SO, I got a divorce, got rid of the negative in my life, but I was able to leave the home, but did not drive, never went anywhere alone, married again, conquered my biggest fear of childbirth, but destroyed this marriage also due to not being able to do normal things. Then lived with the fact I would not drive, or ever go out alone. Then one day a friend said I am taking you to the Doctor. I was put on Paxi 10 mg. My friend had to force me daily to take the meds cause I even had a phobia of meds.! I then decided to increase my paxil to 20mg, 5mos later, I moved from Atlanta Ga. to Daytona beach, The biggest step I could have ever made with my condition. I am now on 30mg have been in Fla. now goingon 5yrs, I drive everywhere ALONE, shop and do it all, I want to conquer Flying in a plane, I did do this in 1992-1993, but havent flown since as I kinda am afraid! I still wont travel in a car out of a 30 mile raidus alone, nor will I drive on a freeway! But I do feel free of the disease and have overcome the severe depression of feeling as if I was crazy and feeling of beeing a burden on the ignorance of others that do not understand, well how can they? They do not suffer with it! I wish the lady WELL! I you want to give her my email address I would love to be a penpal of encouragement! I have been ther and am still there and would love to be a friend and an inspiration!
Sincerely, AN AGORAPHOBIC POSTER WOMAN!!!!!!

Dr. Keith:
I was watching the episode on 1-22-07, and I can somewhat relate to the 30 something afraid to commit to anything. My boyfriend,whom I love very much,is this person. We've been together for 4 years,and I'm still waiting for him to get a job.-He's 32. I live with my parents because i cannot do it by myself.I am 24. I have no idea how to help him.No license, no work,lives with his brother and father,and the biggest thing-no ambitions. Whats a girl to do?? I've often thought about marrying this "man" but I feel as if i am the male in this relationship. What should I do?? Any suggestions?

Dear Dr. Ablow:
In regard to show today, 1/22, regarding the 13 year college student. I would like to ask that you research the subject of our society in general about not growing up - particularly men. I am 57 and had problems when I was young and dating -men wanting to be with lots of women - no marriage - constantly criticizing me and other regarding the "perfect looks". Men also keep moving on - marriage is like a long date - not a marriage. I think "not growing up" is huge in America - expecially with men. Would love to see you tackle this subject. Thank you!

Hi Dr. Keith,

I have started to watch your show daily, and I love it. I just started going back to school for my masters in counseling (community counseling specializing in pastoral counseling). It's great to watch someone who is already a professional. I love watching how you interact with your guests and how much you help them. Thanks for being someone I can look up to in the profession. Do you have any advice for someone who is going into the counseling profession but hasn't really started yet?

Dr keith,
Today on your show I seen that you was asking for people with weight issues......I guess I have a weight issue I weigh 240 lbs....and I really want to lose and be a beautiful women again.....When I got married I weighed 120 lbs....I was this weight due to throwing up everyday...everymeal.....I would eat and it would just come up after a while.....but my husband made me stop and I did....but then I started having children and packed on 88lbs...and now I am over weight by 100 pds.....I have a real issue with food because it comforts me....when I don't feel love....I eat......when I am stressed out I eat......when I'm happy ....I eat....it makes me sad.....the issue with my eating goes back to when I was a child....I lived in a very abusive home....then went on to fosterhomes, grouphomes.....and placements.....I guess I have never felt that I was good enough.....or loved.......now I live with a husband that drinks everyday and it makes my self-esteem worse......Dr. Keith I need your help please.....any advice would be helpful.....
I am pretty much a homebody.....I can't work due to my weight because I feel that I am to ugly to get a job, to fat to be anything, I want to be alive again!
Thanks,
Ann

I watched today's show (01/09/07) about the adopted girl who abused her brother. I felt that the discussion did not fully create an impact on the severity of what she did, and that Dr. Ablow did not make the parents fully aware of their indirect participation and condonation to the issue (responsibility). The adoptive parents seemed quite defensive, and that they unfairly condemned their son for the act. I just wonder if they had indeed given their then pubescent son everything he needed to know about sex, what is right and what is wrong? I feel they did not, then they unfairly sided with the adopted daughter. I hope the interaction behind the camera by Dr. Ablow and guests were not as patronizing as it seemed on camera.

Dear Dr.Keith,
I am hoping that I simply misunderstood the first part of the show. If not, why was the fact that Devon on the show Family in Crisis about a young foster child who had been adopted into a family then accused her adopted brother of molesting her, why was it not discussed further that she said she is basically a prisoner herself? I understood her to say that her every move is monitored and alarms go off if she leaves a certain area. Someone knows her every move. It's no surprise that she feels so guilty and blames herself totally for the situation. She is in jail in her own home.
Thank you,

my name is stephanie and im 18 years old when i was younger i got taken away from my mother because she needed help with her drug abuse and yes she did fix it but as a lot of things it came back and when i was 11-12 i came back home and i was not allowed to live with my mother so i had to live with my grandmother i graduated with a 3.6 on my own and im proud of myself i wish i could be proud of my mother before i got out of i school i tried to find places for my mother to get help but all she did was brush me off and now it seems like all she lives for is drugs and sometimes i feel that she pick drugs over her kids i have a older brother who doesnt want anything to do with her because of all the things she has done me being sent away isnt all her fault but its part of it because she wasnt fit to take care of me ive tried so hard to deal with it and talk to her but she doesnt want to hear it and she always says im trying to run her life or her money and im not i wrote her a 2 page letter telling her how i felt and she brushed it off like everything else i just want her to listen to me and know that im not trying to run her just help her my mother has been clean before and it was the greatest thing in the world to have her around and having a mother there for you ive giving up because i dont know what to do anymore...PLEASE HELP ME

I have lost 68 pounds since 07-2005. I started losing weight when I lost my job; I was starving. At first I felt sorry for myself and then decided to take something negative (not enough food) and use it for something positive (losing weight). I now visualize how I feel when I eat food high in sugar and instead buy peas and carrots for my sugar fix. Even my shoe size is smaller. I am 5'2 3/4" and started out weighing 225. I am now 158 and very excited. I also eat because of emotional issues. I work at a very low paying job and use every opportunity to get exercise because I can't afford to go to a gym. I start college next week and am very excited.

Thanks for the show!!!

Pat Ander

I just wanted to say that your show is great and every episode is wonderful.
I am in the US Navy and was at home for Thanksgiving when your show came on. It was the episode about the Carter Family, I can realate to the episode and I just wanted to know how to go about getting a copy of the taping or if there was any possibility of it.
Thanks

On todays show (Mon 1/7/07) I saw the struggles of the girls and saw in them my daughter. Please read and if you can help I'd appreicate it. Thanks
I have adopted 3 children. My son is special needs and has always needed alot of my time (both getting him help and dealing with the day to day behaviors). My daughter is the 1/2 biologial sister to my son. When they came to live with us she was his caretaker/support system. Foster care was awful to both of them. My son is now in a group home and working on getting his own apartment within his agency. My daughter is in a relationship that is abusive (in my opinion) and feels she has no way out. She won't come back home because she states she is not ready to stop parting and living life. I also have a 2nd daughter who is 14 years younger then my biological son and 9 years older then my other daughter. She has been struggling with her weight as a result of so much emotional turmoil in her life. She is 14 and has seen her 2nd brother be abusive, physically try to hurt me and other behavior that is inappropiate. She has seen her sister go from being a good child to being a complete opposite. She ran away from home the 2nd 1/2 of her senior year. She came back. She left again to live with a boy and came back. She would not follow the rules and had to leave on our request again. She went to live with another guy. The guy she is with now my 2nd daughter thinks is all great but he is far from it. My 2nd daughter idealized her. She has been through my illness and hospitalization. She has had to see my 1st son struggle with a wife who cheated on him and wouldn't leave and the affects it has had on his kids. She now moved out and the kids are a handfull to handle with 5 sitters each week. We keep them every Sat. to Sun and my 2nd daughter was great about it but now expresses her dislike of having them. She constantly demands my attention and has moved into our room sleeping on the floor. Her regression and her eating have become very difficult for me. Her Dr. has finally (after me telling him for the last 2/3 years that she was getting too overweight) told her she is obese (in my opinion this is coming too late the behaviors are set). I try to help her lose weight (Dr. told us she is in real danger of health problems and losing weight is not an option but a neccisity). She of course fights me every step of the way and I am at my wits end on how to help her without causing more emotional damage.
What do I do????

Dr. Ablow,

I just want to let you know how much I love your show. On one of your shows you had older women who like young men. I found the show very interesting. It really hit my heart because I am a 22 year old women and my boyfriend is 49. Most people think the young girl is there for the money, and the man is there to fufill a fantisy. That really is not the case with us, We both work, making about the same amount. He fell in love with me the minute we met. We love each more then words can say. Yes we do have our problems that come with the age difference, but we would not trade it for the world. We would give our own lives for each other. I would really like to see a show about the older men and younger women. It is not fair for people to judge with out getting to know the people. The way I look at it is love knows no color, race, religion, or age. Love is love and it is a privilage for every one to have. Not only those of the same age group.

Carol

I am married and extremely lost. I love my husband very much,but he accuses me of cheating all the time here recently. He has cheated several times and I chose to stay in the marriage and try and work things out. I believe that he is trying to change that part of this relationship,but I think he is having a hard time forgiving hisself. I have never cheated on my husband in the 7 years we've been together and married. It hurts alot because this is my second marriage and I don't want it to end like the first one did. I get very angry when he accuses me and I act out in anger by throwing things or physically fighting with him. I feel like there aren't many things I do right, but I'm not a cheater. When he accuses me I feel like he's taking something away from me. On top of that when I say anything about him cheating before, he gets an attitude like he's done nothing wrong. He cheated, not me. Yet I feel like I'm trying to keep us together more than he is and he's the one who has almost destroyed this relationship. I'm not perfect I argue and throw things up alot about him cheating but it's only because he acts as if he has forgotten why I feel the way I feel about certain things or say certain things. Dr. Keith I see us talking to each other but neither one of us can hear the other person. I don't know what to do other than pray,please help.

Dear Dr. Keith,
Could do a show about personality disorders? Of all of the different types of mental illnesses, P.D.s get the least amount of coverage, in the media, on television, and on talk shows like yours.
I've written to other talk shows, in the past, but no one seems to want to take on this topic. Why do you think that is?
Thank you for this opportunity to write to you. Keith Brown

I am addicted self-injury. But self-injury isn't talked about and a lot of people don't know about it so how could they ever guess that their kids or their friends are hurting themselves. And the people who try it dont know that you get addicted and can't stop even if you want to. They dont know that it just gets worse and worse or how hard it is to ask for help or how stuck and hopeless you feel. So, I think you should do a show on self-injury. Because even if it is too late for me I want others to be saved before it is to late for them. So, please do a show on self-injury and save people from getting like me and help parents and teachers to know about self-injury so they can help the kids that need help.

Dr.Keith Ablow, i really feel ihave the anger illness and i know that it has been passed on from my family.The problem is i cant deal with it i have so much stress i lost my mother dec21 four years ago icant let go please help me if at all possible i take it out on my family i have freinds that always call me i avoid any conversation unless im having a good day,what kind of friend am i to be like that, LET ALONE,my husband and children. i really feel i need help and my dr's dont seem to help much.Pleae help,....Stacy,in ohio

My family and I watched your show for the first time this morning. 12/22/06. I was very dissapointed in the response and support you only gave to the daughter. From our perspective, the mother and step-father had tried to help the "woman" not child, several times. We never heard the daughter say thank you for all the times they were there for her. Sometimes the best thing a parent or support system can do, is let the person with the addiction hit rock bottom. This may have been the only way the daughter could have pulled herself up. My husband and 14 yr. old daughter were all very surprised in your response to the parents. The daughter seemed like a spoiled child that wanted to use every excuse in the book to give herself permission for not being thankful. I provide grief counseling and do a lot of work to help people in healing. The first step, is taking responsiblity. She did not offer any responsbility for her actions. She gave an excuse as to why she had the problems. She has a long way to go. This family may not heal for awhile because you look at one side. I would imagine the list of financial support was long. That was a step. We need to be greatful for what we do have, not what we don't have or willing to give ourselves. When does the daughter begin to forgive?

Deb

The show of fri, dec 22, served as apoligist for a junkie. It was not the mother's fault. The girl made her own decision to be a junkie. she should pay for her own mistakes. the mother helped her in a number of areas. it's time to stop making excuses for the junkies.

Dear Dr. Keith, I was wacthing your show this past Thrusday the 14th of December. It was about a lady who was agpohic. I've lived aniexty for a long time I am on meds to control it or I could not leave my house. I can really relate to what this women is going through. I hope she gets well soon. Thanks Julie.

I watched your show on agoraphobia. It certainly hit home for me and I'm glad to finally see someone is talking about it. My situation isn't as bad as the woman on the show but I do live with my own fears and some do indeed affect how I do things.

For example, they could involve driving excessive miles to find the gas station that "feels" right to stop at. The same goes for a grocery store. If I find myself in a crowd the anxiety will start and I feel as if everything is closing in and that everyone is watching me. At that point, I look for the closest door out of there. I will avoid making a phone call for hours just trying to find the courage to do so. I do know that I lack self confidence and this only makes my condition worse. I rarely look people in the face and dating is out of the question. Which is sad, because life can be lonely sometimes. I often shop online and am always looking for a way to work from home so that I would rarely have to go out. I always reside in small towns partially because I can't even seem to drive in city traffic.

I don't think my children realize how much of a problem I have but they are aware of my desire to avoid people. They have always answered the phone and dealt with whomever was at the door. When my oldest child became old enough to drive I rarely had to go to the store. It was always offered and I didn't mind. It was her opportunity to drive and mine to stay hidden away. I am so glad that you did a show on this problem and I'm sure it will make more people aware. Not to mention helping those of us with any kind of social phobia to be understood.

Hi,

Thank you for having a show on agoraphobia. I am 23 and have suffered with it for 5 years now. witch feels like an eternity. It helps to hear of other people with the same problem, and what they do to cope. My boyfriend has been with me this whole time, and believe me it isn't easy. On occasion I am able to go shoppping, but this consists of taking a pill before hand...witch makes me extremly tired...making it impossible to enjoy even the little things, but at least I can get out every once in awhile with out freaking out. It's so hard being 23 and not living the life of your average 23 year old. Because I developed this at an early age I wasn't able to get my licience, so I have to depend on my boyfirend to go places for me. I have lost alot of friends because of withdrawling myself from them...thinking that I was weird and they wouldn't understand. I have kept one friend, and i'll tell you I don't know where I would be with out her, she is always believing in me, telling me that I can get better, and my boyfriend ...God bless him. I don't know how he can take it. Hopefully some day I will overcome this. untill then I want to thank all those people who have helped along the way. you are life savers. I would also like to tell anyone with this problem to stay strong, you are not the only one...even though it may feel like it.
~Arlana~

My father committed suicide in front of me. My step-mother died 6 months later. I am angry a lot. My husband tells me that I take it out on the family. I have a very stressful job and things are really rough. I am not sure if it is the anger illness or maybe just a lot of things that I have to handle. Some times I think it would be so much easier if I were alone. But I have to take care of my family. It is rough because I can't take care of me. I saw the last 10 minutes of the anger illness show and would like to learn more about it since I am told I am always angry.

Hi Dr. Ablow,
I was watching the program today on the women in PA who has panic attacks and is affraid to leave her home. I was very angry while watching the show because I felt that her husband and daughter were completely incensitive and ignorant about her situation. I have a family member who suffers from the same type of disorder that Melissa does and although I may not be able to understand exactly how she feels, I am enough of a human being to understand that she can't help it and she is truly suffering. The things her husband said to her and about her made me sick, it's no wonder she has anxiety! Dr. Ablow, I wish you would do a show on anxiety disorders so that people could try to start understanding that they are real and not made up. I want people to understand that even though someone may look happy on the outside, inside they may be struggling with a debilitating fear. Thank You! I love your show!
Sincerely,
Verity

Dear Dr. Ablow,

Re: Woman Hostage in Her Home

This woman was me. Same mother, same abandonment issues, same type control freak husband. Same daughter, an unwitting ally in her mother's imprisonment. I also had two sons who are acting outthis family play out today as controlling men. It's a heartbreak.
Thank God you spotted and commented on her husband's role in this. Although I do not know this man in particular, I do know the dynamics of a relationship like that.

In my amateur opinion, having lived through this and getting free, this woman might be unconsciously aware of his potential for violence. And that might be a part of why she is in panic and paralysis. She probably wants to leave him but realizes that she has no money, no job, no family, no support system. That was me too. She is really trapped there. He is holding all the cards.
As I took those baby steps you referred to, my ex husband used his usual sabotage button. When that did not work anymore, he got more and more insane and it escalated to physical abuse and police at the house and divorce court. The threats went from "Don't try to leave me, I'll harraass you the rest of your life" to "I will see to it you commit suicide." If you met him, he came off like that man on your show. Mr. Innocent.
I can't see this womans'husband changing but I'm probably prejudiced because of my own experience.

It might just be a matter of degree but I have seen that controlling mentality in action when they get threatened with loss of control. He will never change in my opinion.

God bless you for helping her and hugs to her too.

Patricia M

I just saw your show on the woman with agoraphobia. I have suffered terribly with agoraphobia since about 1972. I did see a psychiatrist some years ago and slowly it improved. I can go places and do things. I am down to one fear. "Being in open places". Ironically, this is where it all started "crossing a street". To this day I have to drive to get my mail at my mailbox approximately 30 steps from my stairwell. While I can shop in a store, I cannot walk in the mall area unless I am walking along the walls or windows of storefronts. As long as I can touch something/someone and I feel grounded and am fine.

Thank you for your amazing show on this topic. I know my friends and family don't understand it but they put up with it and actually they are very kind and I am a fortunate woman to have them in my life.

I feel blessed that I never got married because I pushed myself to get out of bed and take meds to get to work and stay independent. Even though I could not wait to get home and shut the blinds and cry some days. I feel I am a very strong woman and just have this one facit of my life to continue to work on.

Dr. Keith, On your single mom's show and the woman who had twins. When are women going to stop having babies without a commitment from the man that father these children (you know, like marriage). Women control the morality of the world and women's standards are below street level. Women, wake up and smell the coffee. Keep your legs closed and you will not be single mothers. From a woman who is very disappointed in the way women behave and blame the men.

watching today's show on the agoraphobic woman, that was me 12 years ago. I was in my house for 15 years. I finally went on prozac and I cannot tell you how much I wish I had done it far sooner. I ended up getting divorced after 20 years of marriage. But, I am doing well now. If I can do it, she can do it. I honestly thought I was going to die, obviously I didn't. You get so caught up that it takes you over. It can be done!!!! Please do it now before you lose your marriage. Good Luck, Ruth

dear dr. keith,
hi...well i don't live with my dad sort of....really my grandparents but he's got custidy of me...but i hate him...i want to live with my mom but i'm scared to talk to my dad. He just dosen't understand me....i have theise problems you see. i have bad thoughts about THINGS....i need some help....my mom is always in jail though but my dad is never there, and when he is we don't speak.....i dont even know.....i really do need help!!!!!!!!!!
Who should i be with?

Dr Keith
I THINK I SUFFER FROM THIS ANGER ILLNESS I AM SCARED FOR MYSELF I CANT EVEN STAND MYSELF WHEN I ACT LIKE THIS I DONT KNOW Y I AM LIKE THIS I TAKE EFFXOR XR 150MG I GET SO IRRITATED WHEN MY BOYS EVEN ASK ME A QUESTION I JUST SEEM SO HATEFUL AT TIMES I AM NOT LIKE THIS AROUND OTHER PEOPLE LIKE AT WORK, ITS JUST HOME I DONT KNOW HOW TO CONTROL MY ANGER I DONT HIT MY BOYS OR CALL THEM NAMES, I JUST DONT TALK I YELL ALOT AND FEEL FRUSTRATED.. AND NOW I SEE MY BOYS ACTING LIKE ME WITH EACH OTHER. ITS SOMETHING I NEED HELP WITH AND FAST ITS OUT OF CONTROL THE YELLING, SHORT TEMPER, JUST PLANE IRRITATED!! IT REALLY MAKES ME SICK THE WAY I ACT I NEED SOME KIND OF HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP ME I WANT TO BE A BETTER MOM I FEEL LIKE I AM JUST LOOSING IT SOMETIMES I AM JUST PLIAN MEAN AND FOR NO REASON MY BOYS LOVE ME AND I LOVE THEM AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM AND THEY NEED A MOTHER WITH A BETTER ATTITUDE PLEASE HELP GET ME BACK TO BEING A CHILLED OUT MOM, FUN AGAIN I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. I AM SO GLAD I SEEN THE SHOW I DIDNT THINK ANY OTHER MOTHERS ACTED LIKE THIS I AM EMBARRASED FOR MYSELF AND FOR MY BOYS WHEN I ACT LIKE THIS, GOSH I NEED HELP!! THANKS FOR YOUR TIME IN THIS SERIOUS MATTER

A MOM THAT NEEDS TO CHILL
KATE ~~

Dr. Ablow-

I have a comment regarding what you call "Anger Illness". I think it's a load of crap! My father is a VERY angry man and has been all his life. He has all of the signs for this so-called "illness" and all it does is provide him (or anyone) an excuse for this behavior. He continues to behave badly and violently because nobody has made him accountable for his actions! People need to take responsibility for how they conduct themselves! Why would you want to give someone an excuse for their behavior instead of making them accountable for their behavior? As I watch the people on your show, they are nothing more than big bullies! I was raised in a very abusive family and hated it, but I NEVER used that as an excuse for my behavior. When my daughter was 4 years old, (she is now 20) I spanked her and left a bruise on her butt. (that was the 1st and last time I ever left marks) When I seen that, I swore that I would never lay another hand on my children again and I NEVER did again! That was 16 years ago. I took responsibility for my actions, without excuses and made myself aware of my behavior and changed it! I refused to bully my children anymore and I refused to use excuses! The only thing you have provided for people, is to give them a reason to put blame something else for how they act. This is the age of pointing fingers and you are adding to problem! SHAME ON YOU!!!! You should know better!

Recently I've been keeping up on the "Anger Illness" shows and I'm a young mother of a 3 year old with another child an the way! I've always had the "anger Illness" I got it from my dad. It's cost me friendships and respect! Recently, my dad's illness sent him over the edge thretening my mom with a gun and dragging her up the stairs. After coping with this, I realized I needed to change myself, I dont want to be that. My dad drinks and that flairs it. Anyway, I yell at my son and I yell at my husband, I flip out on my family. It stinks! I was on medicine but wasn't myself, so I've chose to try to keep myself calm with support from my family, because my mom understands that it is an illness. I'm still struggling and it breaks my heart to see myself act like a monster to my son. He's only 3! It was shocking to see that there are LOTS of people just like my dad and I!

I think that Dr. Keith is really cute! I would love to meet him!! Please have him e-mail me

Dr. Ablow,
After watching your show about the Bunny Ranch, I have reached my limit of dissapointment.

Your willingness to listen to your guest without judgement is a wonderful asset to your ability to help them and help the world understand how the prehaps came to be who they are today. Unfortunately, your interest in validating your guest' life experiences completely overshadows your ability to shine a bright light on the issues that plague them and many of the rest of us.

Yes, people need a listening ear. In fact, it is extremely important in helping someone to lend them that. But you are not just a friend Dr. Ablow, you are a doctor. If I went to my medical doctor with a pain, and he said to me, "Ah yes, I hear what you are saying" and did nothing more, he is useless to me. If he said, "Ah yes, many people have that pain-here, take this pill so that your brain forgets about it", he has still done very little. A true doctor, commited to really helping would say, "Ah, I hear you have a pain. Many people have that pain. You could take a pill to help your brain forget about it, but it's best that we find out why your brain is sending your body red flag signals in that area of your body. I want to do some research to find out what the true problem is. It could be medical, it could be psychological, but eitherway, pain is your body's way of asking for help, and as a doctor, my job is to provide that help."

Dr. Keith, you seem to be only listening to your guest, but rarely helping them. I applaud you on your "Anger Illness" campaign. This is true help. Although, I think you may be missing the mark as far as helping the public understand where the anger illness comes from. With a culture of throwing kids into daycares at age 2, divorce, single parenting, and all other things that detach human infants from their natural state of dependency-it is no wonder that emotional detachment, anger, and adult dependencies are plaguing our country! In addition, you seem to be anti-spanking, but I have yet seem you describe to the public how angry spanking makes children, and how spanking is typically just a transfer of anger from parent to child.

Dr. Keith, I love your ability to get in touch with your guest. But you have an opportunity to make some real changes in society. The public needs you to get much deeper. Help us understand. Attachment issues plague our society, and yet most people in our country are more than likely unaware of the utter importance of infant attachment! People don't understand the severe detriments of spanking, yelling, screaming, and belittling of our most defenseless citizens. People don't understand that it is these very things, coupled with detachment issues beginning in infancy, that breed angry, emotionally starving adults! When your guest says, "oh my childhood was great-and I'm selling my vagina for thousands to a man that I look to as my daddy" you have an obligation to open their eyes and the rest of us. Being non-judgemental is great, but it is not helpful if that's all you are willing to give.

I would like to comment on the episode about the Bunny Ranch. It was surprising to me to see Dr. Keith ask Dennis, ‘If he were one of his patients’- the idea of children were brought up as a way of ‘changing him for the better’, seeming a positive reinforcement. Well I am a mother of 3 beautiful children and I do believe that they are my biggest accomplishment. Yet however- that is NOT the case for all people. Children are not always the dream or the fix all for all people and for Dr. Keith to make that seem to be the ‘life changing- this is what will make you a more accepted and better person’- well I find that outrageous! Good for Dennis to KNOW that idea is not for him. It’s just too bad many other people don’t think that way and so many children are abused or the proper attention is not give to them. Dr. Keith, as a professional Dr. you should realize this! Dennis’s business is not your typical / conventional 9-5, but at least it is safe, legal and he’s responsible enough to know that children wouldn’t make him happy- one less child to be raised as a burden.

-Melissa ,NY

Dr. Ablow:

On November 29, I watched your segment on the Bunny Ranch. It was entertaining but one comment you said on your show requires me to send you this note.

During your interview of the owner, you made the comment of why doesn't he have any children. Dr. Ablow, not everyone should be a parent. I came from a very happy childhood but I have never had the need to procreate. I love my nieces and nephews as well as the children of my friends but I've never had the desire to be a full time parent. I think it was wrong for you to give us the impression we are less than complete without children. You keep saying you are a non-judgmental individual. Please remain that way.

Sincerely,
Edd Waldo

I am a 41 year old psychotherapist in private practice. I have a 2 1/3 year old beautiful little healthy boy, a 12 year old step daughter, a dying mother and a 35 year old husband just diagnosed with epilepsy 3 weeks ago.
In March 2006 my 79 year old mother had 2 strokes. I packed her up and moved her from Florida to an assisted living facility close to me in Ct. I have been running back and forth to Florida to pack up her house and put it on the market, as well as sell her car and other belongings. Since she moved here she was diagnosed with dementia, heart failure, a blood disorder and now breast cancer with mets to chest, shoulder, spine, ribs and leg bone. I drive her to all medical apt, usual 3 to 8 hours worth per week, stay with her, fill all her meds, call her daily to remind her to take them, pay all her bills, and provide the only social contact she has with the world. In addition my husband had a Grand Mal seizure while sleeping next to me 3 weeks ago and now can not drive for 8 weeks. I have been taking him to all his medical appointments, EEG’s, MRI’s, neurologists, ET...Driving him to and from work, hosting holiday family get together, treating 20 to 25 patients a week, now frequently till 9:00pm at night. I try to play with my son, who does not understand why mommy is gone a lot and has recently become clingy due to the stress and changes in our home. I have patients calling at all hours feeling suicidal or just sad, and truthfully I have not had a second for my self in months. Not a hair cut not a shopping spree, girlfriend time, vacation or any other off time. My husband who is an aerospace engineer took 15 days off of work after the seizure and any free time I had was spent with him. I feel like I can’t breath, and need a vacation or a pick me up for me. My mother is only getting worse, they say she will have about a year to live, my husband has agreed to start anti convulsions meds at end of the week and will be able to resume driving in 4 weeks, but the needs are never ending. I love my family, my son is truly a gift from God, and I am so honored I can give my mother love and acceptance and make her feel happy and safe at this time, and it is my belief my husband will proceed to live a long healthy life, but what about me? When is it my time? All my money is being spent to provide a loving Nanny for my son, to take my husband out to eat, to buy my mother fun things I spend nothing on myself, I do nothing for myself. As a psychotherapist I understand that to not replenish the well will make it run dry, I know I need to be kinder to myself and not keep pushing me to do more for others, but it is true that if I don’t do it NO ONE else will.
So I guess I am asking for help-advice, a pick me up or a suggestion on how to do this better and have something left over for myself. I know people survive worse things, I see it in my practice every day, but I am just too stressed for words and thought well I will send this email out and see what comes back.

RE: EPISODE "BUNNY RANCH"

A great follow-up to that segment would be an interview with wives and children whose lives were destroyed by a husbands "visit" to the den of pleasure. Sadly this is the worlds oldest profession. The biggest victims, I believe, are the families that are torn apart because of prostitution. These woman at the "Bunny Ranch" are beautiful and can afford to be so. The woman at home that have given birth to children, and served their family by giving of herself does not always have the means of looking like a "bunny", and why would they want to? Prostitution is something that will never go away, but please tell the heartbreak of the result of straying husbands....the woman on your show and the owners made it look to glamourous. Interview men who have gone and wished they never had. Back this story up with some hard real results of going to a place like that. You need to tell the reality, which is ruined marriages, disease and death.

Hi Dr. Ablow,
I watch your show almost every morning and I love it! I am a third year doctorate student in psychology and greatly admire your style of engaging guests, offering real advice and having really interesting topics!
Keep up the great work! Thanks.

I haven't even finished watching your show about the Bunny Ranch and I am absolutely disgusted. When Brooke was taking you on the tour and said that the clients could buy sex toys there and use them and maybe even take them home to their wives I was completely appalled. Do these women not understand that their clients are cheating on their significant others when they go to this place? Brooke also said that they get cultures weekly and blood tests monthly. I wonder how many of these girls wind up contracting an STD and perhaps ruin their lives being promiscuous.

YOU HAVE A SMALL GIRL ON YOUR SHOW TODAY THAT LOVES HORSES, (I JUST TURNED ON THE TV) SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE THE ATTITUDES OF ALL OF THESE GUEST. THIS IS A GREAT SHOW.

i want to thank you so much for the topic of your show today on dwarfism.we have a dwarf son he is 14 1/2,freshman in high school.so much of what was said hit home,the public can be a cruel world,but our son is strong indiviual.i loved to hear how the parents cope with their everyday life.please do this again.but there is alot of everyday struggles for the little people,that the average size public would never understand.my husband and myself are of average height.thank you again!

Dear Dr. Ablow, I just finished watching your show today on little people I am a mom of six average size children three girls and three boys.My oldest daughter who is 17 has a best friend who is a little person and who has been a real blessing to her and our whole family. She is very shy and it took awhile for her to be comfortable with us, (a family of eight) can be overwhelming, and to be truthful we sometimes did not know if certain things might offend her. I remember having her over for dinner once and was not sure if I should put a jar of midget pickles on the table.All of that has now past and she knows our hearts and that we love her.It is now normal to joke with her and in turn her feeling comfortable enough to joke with us, whether it be about her size when a challange comes up like her reaching for something,boys,just about anything. We have instilled in our kids the Golden rule to treat everyone in a way that you would have them treat you. With Angela being with us so much they have seen how hurtful people can be when they do not follow that rule.One thing that troubles me is Angela's home life she is being raised by her very over protected Grandmother who does not allow her to go and do the things teenage girls do.Basically she goes to school, then straight home, and is allowed to visit our home and one other friend.I understand the fears the Grandmother is going through and wish I could talk to her about some of the things Ang has expressed to us. At times she seems very down she can't go to the movies football games, dances etc. but I know if I address this it would cut her off from being allowed to visit us,at times I know my daughter is stiffled socially because of there friendship but I applaud her loyalty and Ang seems to be OK when Cait does want to go with other friends. I taped your show for Ang. to see others like herself leading such positive lives. Hopefully her Grandmother was watching or if Ang thinks she would be ok watching the tape.Thank You for blessing me with your uplifting show. God Bless, Mary Jo Fite

I'm nearly 46 & divorced from an abusive man. I had 2 abusive boyfriends since my '93 divorce. I've turned to speed dating & electronic dating to try to find someone who is productive & non abusive. Those families with little people/dwarfism seem much happier & warmer than my not so warm home. I have my home paid for in a progressive suburban area & make a good living, yet my life is alone. I'd bet those dwarf families are probably happier than me. I hope they can see this message for taller people who are healthy bodily, spiritually & business wise may not be as happy as they appear.

Do you have a superiority complex? Why do you need to have a different (and larger) chair than your guests? I feel if you are trying to help them you should make them feel equal to you. I don't see any other talk shows where the host has a different chair than the guests.
Sue

Today was the first time I watched your show. The episode's premise was great and I liked the point you were making about how unreal life is on these shows. Life in a fish bowl is never a fair assessment of reality. One observation I would like to make, and has become a factor in whether I will tune in again, is the segment with Christopher Knight. That was pre-recorded and your editing team still allowed Adrianne Curry to boldly cry out Jesus Christ, very succinctly in a derrogatory manner. The entertainment industry you are trying to call on the carpet is allowed to use that as a form of venting, but poo-poo it as a relevent part of some of a large part of America's population's belief system. Help uphold and protect the religious freedoms of this country's Christian population as much as the muslims, buddhists and wiccans and any other belief structure I am forgetting. The reality show that is the American media against the Christian majoritiy, is fodder for these poor editing judgement calls. The unfair situation for American Christians is that while a choice, high-profile few put their foot in our collective mouths, we all get dragged into a smear campaign which demonizes a legitimate belief system, just because it's been the core structure of our country longer than these others.

My name is LouAnn Summers.I have 4 children,3 wonderfully beautilful girls and awesomelly handsome son.My girls and I are so proud of my son,Jon,that we need your help.At the age of 13 he became the man of the family when my husband, their father, passed away suddenly.Jon homeschooled himself thru high school.After graduating he join the Air Force.He's been serving for about 4 years.He has been deployed 4 times,to Ballad(sp?),UAE,to Louisiana to help the victims of hurricane Katrina,and now is in Kuwait.A few years ago he asked his girlfriend, Jenifer,to moved to Florida where he was stationed.She did and shortly after he was deployed.When he returned to the USA they flew home to visit.While on the plane home Jon asked the Flight Attendent if he could borrow the intercom and explained why.The Flight Attendent then announced that there was an important message and handed the mic to Jon.He announced that his girlfriend Jenifer was seated on the plane and because of his job taking him away from her for several months at a time he wanted her to know he loved her and asked if she would marry him.He got down on his knee in front of her and awaited her reply.She said yes and the plane cheered as he placed the ring on her finger.On their return home to Florida they went to the Justice of the Peace to get married.This they did during Jenifer's lunch break from work and they returned to work after the ceremony.A year later on Aug.2,2006 Jon and Jenifer gave birth to their first baby.Sept9,2006 Jon was deployed to Kuwait leaving behind his wife and new baby.He will be returning back to the USA sometime between Jan. and Feb.Please help me help them have a wonderful honeymoon when he returns. I am so proud that he is my son,my hero.

Hi Dr. Keith. I love your talk show. You seem to be the only one who gives real psychiatric advice. Stay real.

Dear Dr. Keith,
I have a son who desperately needs help from drug abuse. I don't know how to help him, I have exhausted all avenues. He is 32 years with a 5 year old son. Will you help him to turn his life around please?
Thank you

I would enjoy seeing a show on the emotional trauma and social stigmatism of the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

could you do a show on ADHD and romantic relationships? what challenges to people with AD/HD face in marriages? how can the non-AD/HD partner deal with it?

I watches your show today, as i do everyday. I was so happy to see that i am not the only person not wanting to be touched by my partner. and i so look forward to your next show about control. but it would realy be nice to see something more on baby blues, post partum

I am a 25 year old single mother and I was watching your show about anger Illness. I was unaware that anger can be a form of depression. I know that due to recent news I recieved about my back I have an out of place disc. I do not have the strength or will to move sometimes due to my constant pain. What keeps me going is my 6yr old son, I realized while watahcing your show that I had anger Illness. I lash out when it isn't really called for and to those that don't deserve it I immediately called my mom and told her about this show, She felt that I was depressed already. I am unable to work and can barely take care of my son I've worked since I was 13yrs old and at times have had 2 jobs It is hard for me to except help from others because I'm use to doing things for myself and my son, Because of my ever worsening back pain and depression I feel Trapped. I'm having an internal war that I feel I'm loosing. I have 3 siblings that look up to me. The fact that I am not working and can't help them when they need me just kills me inside. I don't know where to turn or who to turn to. I'm wondering how long I can continue to live my life when I'm so angry and unhappy.

Hi,
I want to applaud your effort in trying to help people's sex lives to be better. I agree with everything you said except one part about the pornography. I disagree with the fact that you encourage the spouse to support their spouse to watch pornos. I promise you, through years of research and seeing relationship fall apart, it all starts with pornos. It starts to become an illness and they do not respect their spouse in the long run and leads to adultry. It is a surefire way to break up a marriage and it is degrading to womens. I know because I speak from experiences and had to go to counseling for help in saving my marraige. I understand that your opinion may be different but I would encourage you not to encourage others to believe that it is ok when in fact it isn't ok. Study them if you can or willing.
Thanks for listening and again, you are great in doing this because it sure does help alot of people.

I just finished watching your show "Save Our Sexless Marriage". This is the absolute worst sex advice I have ever heard. "Let him watch other women"? Encourage him to lust after other women? Do you have any understanding of man and woman? Ever heard the fable about the young man who asked his wise father, "Father, there are two wolves fighting with in me and I am afraid of which one will win." The father replied, "The one you feed the most will win." I feel sooooo sorry for the couple you just had on your show. There are on a road even deeper into the hell they are already in. A living hell right in their marriage.

The answer to every question is what is the way of love? You have set before you love and lust, life and death... choose life. The antithesis of love is not hate, it is lust.. to use another person for your own selfish pleasures. True love is absent of lust even married love. It is the peace of the interior gaze. Please I beg the world if you want to know the truth read the Theology of the Body by Christopher West.
Dr. Keith,
I challenge and dare you to read the Theology of the Body Explained by Christopher West all the way through with an open mind and listen for the truth. You would help millions more by understanding the Theology of the Body. Your guest sex-pert said that going outside the marriage in order to spice up a relationship is the easy and lazy way out, well the Theology of the Body is not the easy way but it is the only way; mutual respect for eachothers fertility, mutual sacrifice, mutual self-giving.
You will be in my thoughts as well as the couples you had on your show today. I wish you all true peace and happiness.

agape

I am almost 50 years old and straight I watch your show everyday and today was a great show, I love plus sized Women they seem to be more confidant about themselves however I love Women that are not plus size also but for some reason it seems like they are confidant but not as much as the plus sized Women, I feel that Women should be confidant with their bodies plus size or not.

dear dr. keith,

I am a mother of two wonderful children whom I absolutely adore !! my daughter is 6,along with my step son who lives with us full time who is also 6. I lived solely for my daughter until I met my boyfriend and almost from day one helped him take care of Logan, until it very soon became me trying to get him to help me!! Logan has attention deficite disorder and I started to realize that this whole set up had become an aweful lot for myself and then I realized that he could bring out the worse in me !! i have had anger problems in the past. but Never with a child!! i scream as if another life form has come out of my body I sware I call names I absolutely hate the person this makes me. I've known I had to see some one . Your show came on as if it were a blessing to me.this has gone on for three years and now it is obviously affecting both kids!! logan is more shut down about it !! my daughter yells at me to stop being mean to her brother! the other night I went into check on her and she was silently crying her self to sleep!! I want my home to contain better memories than what I grew up in !! I don't want my children to fear me and the worst part is when I am like that I scare myself!!This anger also targets my mate and I fear if I don't get help although I love my boyfriend and his son I feel for both kids it would be better if we were not together and I do truely love these two boys with all of my heart and do not want them to go anywhere!!please help!!

Im commenting on the show about the "anger" disease. I think that Dr Ablow is being entirely to understanding of alot of these "mothers". He's making them feel like its okay to act like a out of control nut because they have a "anger" disease. The lady who almost hit her daughter in the face with a can of Ravioli should have had charges pressed against her. I believe this was the same woman who was punching her son in the leg uncontrollably she should be locked up or at least have her kids taken away for their protection. I think these so called parents need alot more than to sit on some talkshow and let somebody explain away why their angry. Everybody get in a bad mood but most people dont abuse their kids because of it. I think that one of these women are going to end up seriously hurting one of there kids.

I have had the opportunity to watch your show as I was in a car accident and have been out of work for a couple of months. I really enjoy watching the show and I am very impressed with your take on really helping people. I just watched your show on teens having sex and I am so shocked and disappointed in the state of our youth. I can really relate as I have a 13 and 17 year old daughter. We have a very close relationship and they do talk to me about these issues. My 17 year old has a boyfriend but swears she has not had sex. None of her friends believe her and neither do my sisters. My sisters think that I should take her to an OB/GYN. I am concerned about forcing that issue because I don't want to break the trust we have. I am positive that there has been some sexual contact but I am uncertain if she has had intercourse. I am scared. My 13 year old is very impressionable and that concerns me because I am afraid she will be pressured and it will be hard for her. I divorced 5 years ago and my kids father isn't in thier life. I think it definitely has an effect on the children. I do have a live in boyfriend who is great with the girls and tries to give them affection but it's not the same as their father giving them attention. I was 14 when I had sex and I was sexually molested on three seperate occasions from the time I was 8. I also have two sons who are on their own. I am glad that you brought this to national T.V. I think this is so important. These are our babies. When do they get to be children?? This needs to stop. We are in a sad state.

My second time watching. GREAT SHOW!!! Thank you, Dr. Ablow, for dealing with the number one reason for school violence and gangs, which is anger stemming from children not having their needs met at home or not being affirmed, loved.

I am currently seeking counseling services for domestic abuse that happened 10 years ago. I did not receive counseling then and have always felt that I didn't really need it. However, now I am going to school to be a social worker to help other women in the same situations. After taking my first domestic abuse class, I started feeling like I needed to talk to someone about what happened. I am in a very happy marriage now and could never ask for a more wonderful man. I finally told him everything that happened but I still felt like I needed to get some professional advice. I did not want to get into my career and then find out that I hadn't come to peace with what had happened in my life. Watching you sympathize and help others daily also inspired me to see someone. I'm on my third and last session and I'm still not sure that it has helped. Do you have any advice? Or is this just something that I'm going to have to get over? I know that my experience has made me the woman that I am today and I'm grateful for that, especially if I can help others. However, I do not want to work hard for this career and then 6 months into it realize that I can't face these emotions on an everyday basis. I also wonder if I can be objective when a client wants to stay with her/his abuser and try to work things out.

Dr. Keith

I have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome due to a car accident of 1990. The doctors said I would never walk again, and I have proved them wrong: as I am walking just fine. After my car accident in 1990 I was bed ridden for years, and suffered from panic attacks only when a friend would drive me to my doctors appointments. I did not drive from 1990 until 1993 at all. Now from 1993-until May of 2004 I was panic attack free. One day in May of 2004 I was driving on the freeway and had a full-blown panic attack and they have not gone away since. Yesterday I drove 12 miles and it took me a little over an hour to get to where I was going because I had to stop the car/get out and relax before getting back into the car in fear of having another full-blown attack. What is wrong with me? I am also extremely fearful of flying or being in closed in spaces. I was never like this until after my car accident.

The story is long however as to cut this short I just want to know if you can have a show on Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and maybe have someone on your show with extreme fears of driving or flying.

Thank you
Joanne

I watched the show today about Sara Evans and her nanny and I got so mad I couldnt even watch it anymore! First it makes me mad that Dr Keith was so one sided its ridiculous I wanted to scream! Sara Evans was not there to defend herself and there is ALWAYS two sides to every story so for him to be so agreeable with this woman infuriated me and also for her to say that she believed Sara was making that internet porn up was ridiculous she might have thought she knew him but everyone has secrets and just because he was so nice to her doesnt mean anything and for him to make Sara Evans out to be some crazy jealous person really pisses me off from now on he needs to make sure that people know that the other person is not there to defend thier selves and quit sucking up to the guest!!!! Also that woman played such a pitiful role of her self and I think shes pathetic come on give me a break the way her and her mother were being so dramatic they need to go somewhere else with all that!!! I wont even watch this show again if he continues to suck up and not be fair!

Dear Dr. Keith Ablow,

I saw your show Monday Nov. 6 with Alison Clinton. Before this I enjoyed watching your show and thought it had a good purpose but seeing this type of sensationalism really didn't make your show look good in my eyes.

I don't know if Alison Clinton is guilty of having an affair with Craig Schelske or not and I shouldn't really care. But I believe that people are often able to beat lie detector tests so the one given to Alison on your show doesn't convince me that she is innocent. Her mother and her went on and on about her medical troubles and how she is so fragile etc. but to see her on the show she did not appear fragile at all - if her mother is so worried about her and her anorexia and now heart condition which they are acting like Sara caused then maybe they shouldn't be on national TV airing their lives - that will open them up to way more media and publicity than before. The picture I am seeing is of a Nanny who is guilty of something and now she is going on TV to try and cover for the political minded man whom she is supposedly tangled up with. For someone who says she is innocent she sure appears like she is trying to cover something up.

Airing the dirty laundry of people who make their lives in the public eye and those who work close with them is Enquirer type coverage - it is tacky and unbefitting of your show which I had respected as a legitimate, caring psychology based show before this. I do hope you skip airing slop like this in the future.

Best Regards,
Christen

I was just watching the segment on Sara Evans' former friend and nanny. I had to change it because I was SO disappointed to see her and her mother bring their comments and concerns to public TV. I honestly said to myself, "Give me a break! Stop feeling sorry for yourselves." Sure, Sara's alligations may have been made public but we don't know NOR do we care who this nanny is! Additionally, we don't care that she has an eating disorder. If she was so concerned of a relapse, she wouldn't be adding pressure to herself by going public on TV. Sitting on your show, in front of a national viewing audience has got to be added pressure. Heck, she may go home feeling like "Oh my God, the TV REALLY does add 10 lbs and I better starve myself!!" If that isn't pressure, DING DONG!!

I have a real issue about me and my daughters relationship It is not the way I want it to be It seems that she is always mad at be and has no repect for me I want my daughter to be able to come to me about anything like I am with my mom. I love my daughter very much And I need help to make her see that I do love her Please help.

I just caught the last of your 11/3 show on men shaving their head. I started shaving my head (daily) in 1997, when I was 39 years, well before the current craze. I have not looked back on the decision. It is a much better (and younger) look than "the monk" and certainly the "comb over". Keep up the great work and here is to "no bad hair days". Good luck in your quest to have others join us.

I am not much of a TV person, but your approach to helping people is very refreshing, and with very little personal pronouns "I" in the mix...unlike Dr. Phil, whose entire show is about himself (or a covered-up infomercial.
Nice job!!

Dr. Keith,

I just got done watching the show on "Bald and Sexy with 'Deal or No Deal' Girls" and loved it! We need more shows on TV that show that being bald is sexy so that more men will embrace it and stop doing the dreaded combover. Keep up the good work.

Tyler
Founder of SlyBaldGuys.com

On your show today, there was mention of parents with anger directed toward their children. You mentioned depression, stress, etc. as the cause. I thank you for bringing this topic to light. I have a lot of guilt from rearing my children. I loved them dearly but sometimes, I would become so angry and upset that I would yell at them and discipline them when it could have been handled in a different manner. However, I have a problem with depression and I also worked at a job that was time consuming and stressful. I would be exhausted by the time I arrived home from work and my patience all spent. I hope you can help young mothers and fathers so they will not have regrets and also have well adjusted chilren . I question my self all the time--was I a good mother or not? I have cried many tears.

I am a 40 year old woman with surgery induced menopause. I have lost nearly half of the hair on the top of my head and nothing will grow it back.

What else am I supposed to do but comb it over?

I think most bald men are sexy, especially at my age... around 50 yrs old!!!

Are bald men sexy? What a waste of a show! I felt my IQ dropping. Come on Dr. Keith, you can do better than that. Maybe you should stick to writing if you're going to do shows like that.

Kess

Hello! I've watch your show many time and allot of it is very good information, but here is a question that I have for you how in the world do you ever get over your own family member having oral sex with you? which I have to say that it has been done with me which I have to say it is very hard to get over, and in ways I don't know if I will ever get over what he has done to me. here is a nother question is back in 2004 I got the double pneumonia and in ways I should of died what had happen to me I had MRSA which is a staff infection, four chest tubes, colostomy and illostomy bag, feed tube, and many other thing that I should of died in way, and now from what has happend to me I have headaches all the time, if I am not careful I will trip and it looks like I am about to fall flat on my face, just many other thing that is physically hurting which in ways I just want to be normal as posible, because I feel like I am never going to better I just want to have a normal life and never to be sick again. will I, I don't know. in ways I just want to be well from sick and my emotions

Hi!! I'm becoming a fan of the show -- the more I see, the more I enjoy, specifically how Dr. Keith leads with his heart!

Yesterday (Nov 1) I saw something that I felt was uncharacteristic of Dr. Keith -- at the very end of the show, Dr. Keith asked one of the guests (older woman) in what nursing home she would be residing in 20 years from now so he could come visit her (assuming for romantic reasons?) -- I felt a pang of dismay for Dr. Keith's wife -- does he think she will not be around by then? I wonder how that comment made her feel . . .

Thanks!

Dear Dr. Keith,
On the subject Deal or No Deal: Are Bald Men Sexy? You bet some are! Here is an ego booster for you. If I were not married and you weren't, I would go out with you. You have very pretty eyes and a very pretty smile! My husband has beautiful thick light brown or dirty blonde hair
that I used to love to run my fingers through. However, since we have been married, he takes the clippers and buzzes it off.
And he, like you has very pretty eyes and a pretty smile.

I'm watching your show about younger men and older women, and I thought I would comment a little, but in a way what I have to say will probably open an entirely new can of worms. My mother is a 45 year old women who has spent until recently her entire life with a man, leaving my sister and I out to dry. In the last couple of years though, she has left my step-father, and decided that she is a lesbian. Her girlfriend of almost 9 months is only 2 and 1/2 weeks older than me. This bothers me, I don't think it's so much the age, but I just kind of feel like, "hello!" how can you have such a good relationship with a young women my age, and have virtually nothing at all to do with your daughters. I can already tell you without a doubt that I have a lot of issues with my mother that I am trying to overcome with the help of therapy. But how can you let go of the fact that you never really had your own mother emotionally? This is made much more difficult by the fact that I now have a 15 month old daughter, and I don't feel that she should be subjected to the feeling that grandma isn't really a grandma. She (my mother), apologizes time and time again, and I always hope things will be different, but it never is. I guess deep down I'm jealous of the attention that her girlfriend gets, and maybe in a weird way, I'm jealous of my mother, because she has the great parental contact, but is too selfish to pass it on. Does this make sense?

Hello. I am a (now) single mom of 3 young children, 39 years old, and facing an issue that is very heartbreaking and difficult. I have a 5 year old who was just recently diagnosed with Aspergers Spectrum Autism, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, possible ADHD & possible Bi-Polar disorder...needless to say, my life is chaos. Would you ever consider a show on Autism and the spectrums, and offer advice for parents for helping these children & coping with the stress involved? The public school here constantly sends my son home, even called the juvenile officer on my little 5 year old. Everyone wants to blame the parents for childrens behavior, I want the world to understand that I do the very best for my son, and that it's NOT the parents fault these children have violent and "out of control" behavior...
I know there are many, many parents out there who would be overjoyed at hearing "it's not your fault" by someone like you, Dr. Keith, and would welcome your input! Thanks so much for listening...Shelia

Dr. Keith, I was watching your show on older women and younger men this morning 11/1/06. I have to tell you. Im married to a man 12 years my junior. We meet on line in a local chat room. He said that he saw me in the room and looked at my profile and that I had the nicest eyes. He desided to IM me. I vagely remember him tring to chat with me but there where always so many guys that would try to talk to me that often times the IM boxes would stacked one on top of the other and they would get lost in the crowed. So,it wasn't til he IMed me and said that he has tried several times to talk to me and something always happens that we never get very far. I counldn't remember at that point, ever having spoke to him so I looked up the past conversations in my archives, and sure enough he had IMed me on several occastions. I then responeded and apologized. I told him that I notice that he's only 26(at the time, and that was 4 years ago)and looking for a serious relationship. He said that he was. I told him im 38(at that time)and didn't feel that a serious relationship could come from a age difference that large. I was dating younger men because they chaced me and kept the persute up til I said yes. Younger men view life in a different way than older men. Older men that I dated had one foot in the grave. They are boring,don't want to experiance new things or to have fun ie. go to amusment parks,go to the beach. Just things that younger people like to do. Well, we talked on line for a while and then we exchanged cell numbers and about 2 months later he asked to meet me face to face. I said I would come up there to D.C.. I was always cauious about anyone knowing where I live and my safty. So, Hotel arrangements were made and We meet. He was so handsome and sweet. He was such a gentelman. We hit it off so well that we took turns every weekend going to see one another. As time went on he wanted to get serious. We talked about the cons of a relationship with this kind of age difference. After another 3 months he asked me to move to D.C. with him. Dr. Keith I have to tell you I have a son that at the time was 17 . I reminded my now husband of that. He said that my son was part of the package. I spoke to my son about all of this and my son said it was ok with him. So we moved. The realationship has just been awsome and my husband Jon is just as sweet today as he was the day we meet. He tells me every day that im beautiful and that he thinks im more beautiful today than when we first meet. We got married about 2 years after we meet on Valintines Day 2005. I have never felt like I was babysitting him. Never had to remind him to comb his hair or brush his teeth. In fact he is studing for his masters degree. He is very much my eaquel and my best friend. We have so much fun together. This is truely a macth made in heaven.

Hi, I was just watching your show of older woman dating younger men. I am a 23 year old woman that is engaged to a 45 year old man. Our age difference is not even visable. We both have the same views on life, and live it to the fullest. I would be lost without him. Age is just a number. I wish people could see that. Thank you for playing your show!
-BreAnne

You assured a young boy that he is safe from his father's murderer who is in prison for life. My daughter's murderer was given 2 life sentences in Texas 32 years ago but I am assured that if we do not continue to ask that he not be paroled, he will be so because of lack of space and cost of incarceration.

This keeps the murder fresh in one's memory forever!

Linda, yes indeed. Have had the pleasure of meeting the doctor in person also. He was sweet enough to come on over and sign a book for me. I wish I had the nerve to ask for a hug but I think that would have just about pushed my luck. I think the producers were getting annoyed with me anyway. But yes, he comes across as a wonderful person in many ways. His books are the best....both entertaining, thoughtprovoking, and insightful.

Aside, if the make-up person ever wishes to have a day, week, year, lifetime vacation....just give me a buzz. I could powder his head just as well.

Smiles.

Kess

I would like some help with a friend of my who's with a bad man. At frist he was nice then he did a turn around on her. his beenobsesive in keeping her away from her friends. But she dosen't live with him anymore. and I would like the tape on FatalAttraction:obsesivelove. thank you very much Kim

I watch Dr. Keith regularly and I think its great that he wants to help people. But I recently saw a show on marriages today. It included a couple that had recently gotten married and talked about a husband who looks at online porn. The wife stated that things weren't great before with their sex life but now that he's watching the porn its great. Well have you stopped to think that its because he's imagining that he's having sex with someone else. That can't be a very healthy marriage if your signifigant other is wishing he was with another woman. A real man wouldn't do that to his wife. Take heed, he probably just went on the show to buy himself some time. A healthy marriage doesn't include lying about anything and surely if you love the person then you would be attracted to them and not need porn. Bad habits are hard to break, not impossible... but perhaps he doesn't think of them as a habit and just normal. If so then I feel sorry for you.

I just watched your show on newly married couples. I have been married for going on 4 yrs. The past year my husband and I have been seperated and had filed for divorce. He had been in a 8 month relationship with someone else and was even living with her. They split up and I found myself giddy thinking maybe we could work it out. I called him and asked him to reconcider things. He later called me back and wanted to meet in person. We talked and are working things out taking it slow. He is living with his mom and I am with my parents we also have a 3 yr old daughter that is living with me. I am so worried of losing him again I'm trying really hard to work on the things I need to, to make it work. And I cant tell he is too he is a lot more effectionate with me than he ever was before and I am falling in love all over again! But the fear of failing of going through the pain all over again is killing me driving me crazy. My mom was a big part of our problems I'm at a stand still with this becasue he litterally hates her. She used to call him names and yell at him and tell him to leave me so she could be happy again. It was hard because the entire time we were together we lived with my mom and dad. The tension was hard to handle and I dont blame him for leaving I couldnt take it as long as he did if I were him. I dont know what to do though because I love them both I know how my mom is though and I dont see her ever chaning the way she is. I'm worried she will try to do this again and he wont stand for it. I dont want to lose my faily twice. Do you have any advice for me or us in general? Thank you.

Wow ... your show aired on Oct 31 about wedding disasters??? get a clue people...My Dad DIED 1 1/2 hours before my rehearsal dinner, 18 hours before my wedding. THAT is a disaster. Every time I see this subject on any show, it's always a rediculous reason that they are SO upset. PLEASE!!! Get real.

I have been watching the Dr. Keith show for a month or so now and think he does a great job being sensitive to his guests. He has a very compassionate yet poignant way of getting through to people that holds the guests to a standard of being honest and forthright with their thoughts and feelings that is very refreshing. He has a way of encapsulating feelings and giving a voice to those who feel unable to speak their truth. I look forward to the show every day.

I watched some of your show about husbands killing their wives and themselves. How do you try to deal with all the feelings that contradict each other when this happens and when everyone around you has their own take on what happend, especially when the person who has done such a thing seemed so levelheaded. I would also like to say people dont know what is happening behind closed doors.

Dr. Keith:

I watched your show on Monday October 30 about how people are affected when some one they love dies. My youngest son committed suicide on Sept. 18, 2004 6 months after my mother passed away. He did this in retaliation because his girl friend would not give up the drugs. The last person he talked to was her and told her that he could not go on and was going to kill himself. She did not call the authorties so that they may have intervened. She called and left a message on my phone but failed to let me know where he was. By the time they checked to see if he was there he had already killed himself. This death has left me devasted and not sure what to do with my life since my children have always been my life.

Kess, Dr. Keith is totally as nice as he seems.

I went to the taping on Friday. He is so calm and cool. And he has a great sense of humor. He came over to the audience to chat. He was very sweet.

He tapes 2 shows a day. I was there for the 2nd show. The taping lasted until after 6 pm, he had to redo some segments from earlier in the day, and some promos. He remained calm and quiet the entire time. I'm sure it was a frustrating situation, but never rasied his voice to anyone. He was courteous and polite the entire time.

He does have a make-up person who comes out between each segment, and she pats the top of his head with powder. There is also a wardrobe guy who comes out and brushes the lint off of his jacket. It's kind of funny to see them in action.

It was definitely a great experience to see Dr. Keith in action. He is a genuine and caring person. It's not often that you see that on TV.

Now, if I can just figure out how to get an appointment in his private practice, I'll be all set.

I watch your show daily.One of the things that really gets to me is the addicts that use their addiction on being treated for pain by their doctors.This is such a LIE.I am on pain management and the things that I have to go through to get the medication that I need it is impossible to be addicted.
I only take what I have to have daily to stay out of bed.And I know that I am not going to take all the medication when I first get it and then do without the rest of the month.
My pain dr.does a drug screen every month.And this I completely agree with.Every doctor that has chronic pain patients that use narotics should be drug tested monthly,before given there medications.
When I go in every month my medication is counted to see that I have the correct amount left.And I can be called in at any time of the month and I had better have the correct amount.
I always do and so should every chronic pain patient.
We have a very hard time being in chronic pain,and our doctors are under a microscope.
The people that use chronic pain as an excuse to be a legal addict should have to be under the same rules as the rest of us.
Don't go to a regular doctor for pain management,go to paim management clinics only.
You're great.And GOOD LOOKING 2

On Oct. 27th, your show discussed, "Teen Pregnancy", during the first segment of your show, you made some valid points about the mother's lack of responsiblity with drug and drinking usage. I felt there were two entirely different topics being discussed. One was mother's addiction and the other was teen pregnancy. I completely agreed with the mother which stated her daughter could not stay over her boyfriend's home overnight or past curfew. That is what lead to the pregnacy to begin with.(perhaps to much freedom) However wrong mother was in her past she is still obligated to these minors that is, to put her foot down in her own home. I agree she does need AA and the children would benefit with the Big Sister program. Again, mother can suggest that if her rules can't be met, maybe she should suggest the so called adults to marry the prospective fathers to these children and really know what it's like to be an adult full of responsibilites. This way they can play house, run a household and really see it's not all fun and games. Dr. Ablow, did you see the 14year old's attitude towards her mother because she felt her mother would not take care of her baby. She even made it a point to tell you and your audience how many times her mother had volunteered to take care of the baby? that is not the responsibility of the Grandmother to do. The 14 year old should have thought about that during the time she was having "FUN". If these girls think so badly of their mother, why don't they choose to live with their father? Especially, the 14 year old who showed so much resentment for her mother. I understand these girls had it rough growing up but their mother is there now, where's father? Dr. Ablow, I felt as though you came off on the mother a little bit too harsh, although some of her views were concerning. She did state she would attend AA. If that 14 year old were my daughter, I would have told her if she was that unhappy with the choices I had made in my life, then more than likely she would be better off living with relatives while providing counseling for her and myself. This goes for the 17 year old as well. I did believe the 14 year old was being honest about how the 17 year old treats her mother. They are both minors and both need to respect their mother. Who is providing the basic needs for these girls and their babies? I would be willing to bet the mother of these girls is partly if not entirely providing financial assistance.

Dr. Keith, what! Why aren't you applauding a parent that is trying to do better with her girls? Yes, she made bad decisions, don't we all? My boys better still respect me and follow my guidelines, especially, while living with me. When a girl gets pregnant it doesn't mean that she is all of sudden in charge of her life. Why didn't you say anything to the boy that just sat there with his mouth open? (show aired 10-27) The next couple, race doesn't have anything to do with the fact that their are in school, or working! Please, in future stand back and look at the whole picture.

Dr Keith, just wanted to let you know how much I love the show.... When I watched today about the mom who was using Xanax, it hit a sore spot for me. My 30 yr old son suffers panic disorders and was prescribed Zanax. I am afraid that he will become addicted, he also drinks on occasion, he has three kids and his wife says he can't be without his pills, he gets ill if he is out of them. Please give some advice if you can. He lives on the East Coast and I am on the West Coast, feeling helpless.... Thank You, keep up the good work!

I just wanted to comment on the show that aired on Oct.27. I totally disagree with how this women was treated by not only you but her daughter. I think that if her daughter wants to blame someone then she needs a reality check. The bottom line is if you lay you pay. Yes maybe this women did not explain the birds and the bees well enough but that is no excuse for trying to blame her mother for her teen pregnacy. I have two daughters, one will graduate college with her Bachelors deree in May of next year and the other is now married. If this girl wants to live in her mothers home, baby or not she needs to follow her mothers rules or move out and support herself. Because I did not see any questions as to financial support on your show. I think that this mother and the family aid assistance program support this young girl and her baby not this father or the young girl herself. If she wants to act mature and be responsible then the first place she needs to start is by supporting herself and providing her own home for her baby. Just my thoughts

Dear Dr. Keith
I watched your show on the Father/Daughter, I think these girls need to grow up and get on with thier lives and stop looking for sonmeone to blame for thier lives being crap. I am 44 yrs old, a single Mother and I have custody of 2 of my nephews. My Mother died when I was 12 from breast cancer, my Dad was an alcoholic and I was the oldest one at home. I took care of my younger brother and sisters. I am the middle child of eight. I took care of my oldest brother until he died in 2003 from esophagel cancer. I also took care of my Dad until he died in 2004 from respitoratory failure, and currently I am taking care of my youngest sister who has undergone a radical mastectomy of both breast, for breast cancer. My life growing up sucked, I didn't have a childhood. I was to busy taking care of everyone. I don't blame my Dad for anything. I have forgiven him.These girls need to do the same. Is making him own up to his mistakes going to make there lives any better. No it's not. They are responsible for there own happiness. They need to move on and stop living in the past, they can't change it, they may never understand it, but they need to get over it and move on. He is human after all. Forgivness works wonders.

Dr. Ablow,

I was very disturbed by some of your comments on the teenage pregnancy show dated Oct. 27, 2006. The mother indicated that she has been clean from meth for about 2 years and pills for 1 year. She's presently taking prescribed medication which she is not abusing and has an occassional drink. You charachterised her as still being an active abuser and when you asked the people who would know best to agree with you, her daughter indicated that she was not abusing. This mother admitted to making many mistakes and from what both daughters have indicated, she's taking proper steps to be a good mom. I was very disturbed by the fact that you seem to want to paint a picture that even the daughters on the show didn't fully acknowledge. She set ground rules for her 15 year old daughter that is extremely reasonable and you bash her mother. The mother has been clean and you are pushing AA as if her addiction is the current problem. Did you completely loose focus or what? All the efforts that her mom is making is good, but you act as if you can't get past the fact that she was addicted in THE PAST. I guess you would prefer that her mom simply vacate the situation all together.

You gave the mother no support whatsoever, which only solidified the 15 year olds position.

Honestly I was not impressed by your handling of the situation.

But I applaud the offering of counceling.

On the other hand, perhaps my own issues has clouded some things as far as my percption of the situation.

But,hey I'm still watching your show :)

Thank you for letting me vent my frustration and wish you the best success with your show.

Kenny, I hear you on THAT! He's an awesome writer, and very intelligent, caring and intuitive. And gorgeous to boot!

Hey, this could be a show idea. All those that have Dr. Keith obsessions come forth and profess their undying love for him. Ha!

All the best to the Doc!

Kess

"Dr. Keith" should be ashamed of himself for showing those "fake Pain Patients" as though they were "real addicts" and in need of help! "REAL" Pain Patients who are lucky enough to be ON pain medication don't act like those "lazy mothers" that were on the show, USING PAIN PILLS AS AN EXCUSE FOR NOT WORKING! REAL PAIN PATIENTS aren't "addicted" they are "dependant" on the pain medication and SHOULD BE ON WHATEVER AMOUNT OF PAIN MEDICINE THEY NEED, UNLIKE WHAT THE SHOW DEPICTED!

"When you tell the truth, you get truth back" is what Dr, Keith said on the air, so why not do it and show how bad the "under treated pain situation" is in America, rather than showing those lazy mothers who aren't real Pain Patients, or they would know better than say what they did. "Real" Pain Patients who are ON adequate pain medicine are "productive citizens" and aren't like those "addicts" that were shown on the show.

I have a painful disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis and I have been on pain medication for 26 years, and have lived a good PRODUCTIVE life because of the Pain Medications that I am always on, as a "valid pain patient." Dr. Keith should go to the "Pain Relief Network" and see the great work they are doing to help Pain Patients get ON the pain medication they need.

According to the World Health Organision, UNDER TREATED PAIN has become a crisis in our nation because of the DEA and its power over the media, and shows like Dr Keith had on national TV, just making the situation worse for "True Pain Patients."

"True Pain Patients" already have a heard enough time getting the adequate pain medicine they need because of the over reaction of the DEA and it's "War On Pain Doctors"

Dr Kieth should be showing how our service men and women who were hoffificly wounded in Iraq, are now at home with Painful wounds that cause "life long pain," and now they can't get the pain medicine they need because of "fake alarms" like Dr. Keith's show engaged in!

Yes I know that there are "LAZY WOMEN" out there who use what was once a painful condition, to get out of working for the family, but don't paint all Pain Patients with the same brush!

The crisis of UNDER TREATED PAIN in America that the nation now faces is what Dr. Keith should be showing to the public, not this "fake show of addicts" that he had on. People are dying with cancer and in horrific pain and cannot get the pain medicine they need because of this fake kind of alarm that the show engauged in. That's just "Yellow Journalism" to the hilt!

Skip
Founding President of ASAP
American Society for Action on Pain

The addicted Mom show was very painful to watch. I have been in-patient more than once, in the ER for OD and arrested for rx related offenses. I was a licensed professional but lost that career because of this disease. I am unemployed. My husband and daughter are leaving me. The only consequences left for me are jail or death. I will die from this disease.

Dr. Keith,

This post is going to be very different than the others that I have read on here, but nonetheless I have to get this off my chest...

I watch your show daily and think you are a great professional with good advice and a caring heart. I also have to say that I think you are sexy as hell! Your brown eyes and the way you wear your clothes are beautiful...I also love that little habit you have of nodding, very cute...

I dont mean to freak you out, but a compliment is a compliment ;)

BEST OF LUCK AND KEEP IT UP!

Your show seems to address
Many problems in our lives.
I live in a small Rural western town where a murder was done in 2002.
and The police wont do anything.
Maybe your show could help bring our comminity back.

I am a mom of 2 little boys. I am also addicted to pain killers. Addiction in general has been a huge problem for me. I am also an alcoholic. I think that we resort to drugs and alcohol to deal with inner pain of past memories. It just hit me tho, that my addictions are now childhood memories for MY children. They have seen far too much. They have seen me vomiting, passed out, popping pills..etc.. I am so ashamed and commend the other mothers who had the courage to go on the show and admit it because I know I never could. I have been going to Alcoholics Anonomys for 6 months and have 4 months sobriety. It is hard to see outside when you are so deep in addiction but I PROMISE, the grass is SO much greener on this side of the fence.

dr.keith i have a sister who is addicted to pain killers and we have tried to talk to her as a family and she tells us where to go she is not and she has 3 beautiful children and her husband helped her to get this way they can't pay their bills because they buy pills and it is a very bad situation and we need help we don't know what to do please help us if you can thank you angela a concerned sister

Dr Ablow, how about airing a show of persons who've had TRUE obstacles and hardships (not my mom gave me a mean look or I my parent passed away when I was a kid), and who refused to become victims? I see that too many of your guests are embracing the belief that they are victims of life and circumstances, thus giving them excuses to: indulge in alchohol and substance abuse, physically abusing their children or mate, stealing, overeating, never cleaning their person or their homes, etc.

I'm a 31 year old mother of three. I have had to deal with addiction all of my life, my mother has been addicted to different types of p. drugs off and on through out my life. I raised my younger brother, sent us both to school, got my dad off to work, and ran the house. My mom went to rehab when I was 16 and we thought that was the end of the addiction and that would be the end of it. It was better for a while, util recently. I gave birth to my twins 18 month ago and my mom was so out of it I don't think she even remembers them being born. It came to a boil about a month ago and I went down loaded her up and took her to rehab again. She stayed at the first facilty for the full term, when she went to secondary care she walked out. My mother is back home now, but I can not trust her I just don't now how too. I want people to understand that have a problem with pain killers, or any other scripts that it is not only their addiction it is an addiction that is shared by the whole family. I have so many issues right now it is hard to focus. I have returned to college to get my nursing degree, and find it hard to study, hard to do anything, because I'm so hurt over all of this. I'm so funny I'm scared to even take an asprin. I hope that someone can get something out of my post.

Dear Dr. Keith,
I saw your show a few minutes ago and was compelled to contact you concerning my step mother. She has been my best friend since 1969 when I was 13 years old and she is very much addicted to prescription drugs for at least the past 4 years. I spend time with her and she is but a shell of the person she has been all my life. She lost a grandchild 4 years ago and has turned to pills since that time. Unfortunately she does not admit that she has a problem and every time I try to talk to her about it she gets angry with me, and her family members.

Thank you,
Barbara

I pray that this contact with you may in some way help as she is not long for the world if something isn't done.

Dear Dr. Ablow,
I am a third time divorcee with three little girls. I watched your show for the first time today, on the mother's addicted to pain killers. I was very touched by the show, because it hit close to home. There are many poeple out there whom have found themselves in situations they've thought they can not get through. I was one of those persons for many years. It would take more than just a few words to educate you & others out there on what happens to make a person reach thier breaking point, & turn to eating disorders & drugs of anykind, with or without families. Lord only knows I have had my fair share. What gets me the most, is that from my experience, you have to lose everything important to you before you are willing to fix anything. I have learned that no one can help a person get help without the disaster that comes in the end associated with drugs. Because you are not aware of the damage you are doing to yourself & others, until it is to late. What does need to be said to everyone out there in trouble... "It can be done, you are not alone, & to think of yourself with out the love of your family & friends, a life without your children, losing your home & all the things we take for granted in life that you could never see yourself without. Those are just a few of the things that will happen to you. It may not happenen right now or tomorrow, but in time we all eventually find selfdetermination to get help with our problem (what ever it may be) due to the selfinflicted destruction & devastation brought upon your life. Eventually you wake up one day wondering,"What have I done?" & "How can I fix this?" For those who haven't learned this yet I know that most people must make their own mistakes, but for the few of you out there.. please, think about what matters the most to you, for a moment picture your life WITHOUT IT. Take it from a person having learned a very hard lesson the worst way possible way, don't let that moment ever come.

With love and concern for especially you Moms, Good luck my heart goes out to you.

Child molesters, or percieved ones, that are molested so early in life that they can't recall any contradictory behavior can claim to be born that way.

I know of one victim right now that it started as a baby for her. She will be a predator when she grows up. She already has too much sexual knowledge. her mother loves her for it. It is when these victims get taught is how it gets treated, and if it is too early, again they don't have anything to contradict how they act. Without police help it can only be to a predators advantage. Children aren't considered bread winners and tax payers and don't vote either, so these crimes and all the protection surrounding them will continue if not only get worse with time.

Dr. Keith Show, I tried not to write again but I have to. Your show has been giving us marriage counseling. After only the first session, our marriage has been rekindled and awesome again. Your show also provided us with cleaning once a week for 3 months. I got my first cleaning today. OH MY GOD! I felt like a queen. I really did not know what to do with myself. All I had to do was tidy up my kitchen after we had dinner. Much love to all of you. The Barnes Family

WOW Harvey, I admire you just for asking for help. Raising twins is no joke and one that is ill makes it seem like triplets. I hope that you will be able to get some help soon. Be encouraged and hang in there.

the Oct 24,2006 show!
That poor man apolgized
over 6 times!
I could not believe what I was looking at!

would like to talk,to a person like yourself you could help(I don't understand.

I just finished watching today's episode re: father/daughter relationships. That brought up a question in my mind: what about those of us whose parents have already passed on? Parents who never acknowledged the abuse before they died. Do we have any options to help release the anger and hurt? I have had a lot of therapy through the years, but the emotional scars are still there. I have tried techniques such as writing a letter to each of my parents expressing my feelings and pain. I try to just live in the present, but the scars from that abuse are still there. Am i stuck with those painful emotional scars now since there is noone to confront?

Dr Keith,
I feel you can help a lot of people by advising them to forgive, themselves as well as the person they are holding responsible for thier feelings. I know that forgivness is very powerful and rewarding. Encourage it!!

I'm writing about the show "Last Chance"Repairing the father-daughter relationship,I would like to say that I'm a 34yr old women whose father disciplined us with a belt or a switch.when we where younger,I'm not sure if the father on the show was trying to discipline his daughters or if he was just out right cruel.I heard him tell his daughters "thats how I was treated" I've heard all of that too.My father was brought up in the south where as kids you worked at age 5 outdoors to help out,and you walked for miles to school with no shoes.Growing up my brother and I was disciplined the way my father was disciplined,but I knew my father loved us.We had great respect for him growing up and still do to this day.I will be very crushed the day the lord calls on him to come home.When I was little I thought it was wrong (It was wrong) for him to be doing this to us,but just as much as we hated it I now know he hated it to,But thats all he knew.That how he was disciplined so he took those parenting skills and used them raising us.I now have three children of my own and I do not hit my children I choose not to,maybe because I knew how much it hurts both physically and mentally.I chose to break the cycle.My father was not an abuser in my eyes he was just discipling how he was brought up. People may say well if you broke the cycle why didn't he?I feel theres more education now in parenting skills than when I was growing up.I sometimes feel that some of these kids growing up needs better disciplining maybe they needed my father.I'm not saying hitting is right but whose to say that it is not,I feel I grew into a respected well rounded women and a mother who would do anything for her children.My father did tell me once that those times of disciplining where hard for him,that he would cry after hitting us with the belt,He called it tough love.I feel now that my father did his best I love him for it.I felt he taught me to be a better parent.My father is a wonderful person.I hope those girls on the show can get through this and as far as the father if he was abusing them then its time to say he's sorry and start mending there pain.Life doesn't last for ever and maybe now he has learned how to be a better grandparent.I wish them luck and hope that they can learn to love there father again before its to late.

I was watching the show on the daughters trying to bridge the gap with their father..altho I agree he was abusive,I think alot of us kids the age of his daughters were whipped with a switch.I was spanked with a hand,switch,belt..and I dont regret a bit of it.My father died in 9191 and I would gladly take them "whippings" again to have him back.I think alot of todays problems with kids are because we cant touch our kids and they know it!
thank you
Michael Meyers

I believe the show on your doing on mothers who are addicted to pain medication is long overdue.. but thankfully someone had the nerve to do it. There may be many mothers who feel I canas if they are being picked on but being a mother myself and growing up with a mother who was/is addicted to pain meds, I KNOW first hand the damage an addiction like that can cause the children. I suffer from it on a daily basis. Thanks Dr. Keith for exposing this type of situiation....

Re: Mark Carr interview

Dr. Keith, I'm watching your interview with Carr as I type this. What is prompting me to write is a point of definition. You defined the word "Pedofile" as someone who is "attracted to pre-pubescent children", implying "sexual attraction". I believe if you break the word down to it's Greek origins it comes to be "Child Love" with filios meaning a "Brotherly" love, with NO "Eros" in the definition.

Yes, the modern connotations and misuse of the language HAVE made it so the word "pedofile" automatically translate to "child abuser". I would expect better use of the English language however from a medical professional.

I want to say that I love the show. There was one thing that I think could have been done on the show that aired the John Mark Karr interview. With respect to JonBenet Ramsey I believe that her picture should not have been shown in conjunction with the picture of John Mark Karr. That is exactly what he wants. He has been proven not to be her killer. Therefore, I do not think that we should pair the two of them together ever again. Do not feed his delusions.

I am 51 years old and my fiance just turned 22. I have been married 3 times before (4 if you count that I married one husband twice) and my fiance has, naturally, never been married before. It is important to him that when we get married his mother be there. She is having a problem accepting that I am 29 years older and will make him an instant father and grandfather and am unable to give him children of his own and therefore wants nothing to do with me and does not want to deal with the situation. Joe and I are great together. I feel that he is more mature and offers more than my other husbands put together. (Incidentally, I was married to the first husband a total of 7 years, the second husband 19 1/2 years and the third for 2 years.) I would like to know if you have any ideas on how I can help her accept the fact that we are going to get married and that if she truly loves her son as much as she says she does, she will put her own feelings aside at the very least and make him happy by being at the wedding for him. I am not asking that she accepts me yet, become my best friend. I would just like to see her put her feelings on the back burner and be there to support her son on one of the biggest days of his life. We have been together for 10 months and we are happier than we could have imagined. Neither of us expected things to happen between us, they just did and we are happy and I would like her to try and be happy for her son. As a mother myself, I can understand how it might be hard to accept someone older than myself for a daughter-in-law and the fact that there won't be any blood grandchildren come from that union but I believe that my love for my child would at least give me the incentive to try or to at least put my feelings aside for one day to support his happiness. Can you help?

Your show with Katharine McPhee was absolutely super. This young lady is a role model for all young girls who have or are struggling with there weight in todays life.

John Mark Karr deserves no interviews, like another person said, that is what he wants! I think you as a doctor would realize that you are enabling him!I hope to god he is not getting paid for any of these interviews on TV!! He should be in jail right now or in a psych ward for all of the false statements and crazy things he has stated. He obviously wants the attention and he is unfortunately getting it.

I just finished watching your show on the so called new monagamy. First of all there is no such thing as monagamy that includes infidelity in any form. And that's exactly what these couples practice. Their relationships show a total lack of maturity and self control. The fact that they need to bring other couples into their sex lives also shows a very low level of self esteem and security in their ability to please their partners. As for jealousy, this is a not a sign of insecurity or immaturity, but a very nessary part of any relationship. It warns one partner there is a threat to the security of the relationship.
This whole thing about sex without emoition is very possible, especially in our day and age of rampant promasucity. What they don't realize is that this kind of sex is acutally biologicly and phychologicly disfunctional and damaging to both partners involved as well as their play pals. That's why religions have adopted rules agains such behaviour. In brings chaos into the family which brings it into the community. A community in chaos can not function.
And even though they think they are protecting their relationships from infadelty, it's actually the oposite. They are inviting it and when it happens it will hurt just as much as it does in a truely mongamous couple.
The other thing that I noticed was that these people claimed to be in such close and loving relationships, but that for the most part not only did they not make eye contact with each other, but they did not touch and they all pretty much sat either stock straight or leaning away from their partner. This is not the body language of an emotionally conected couple. The only exception was the couple who had not yet had their intercouple experiance.
In short their relationships are frauds.

I am watching the show today(Oct/20/06) about the new monogamy. I must comment that I feel these couples will not last and are not truly in love. I have had many relationships and was always "looking" while in them (including my first marraige) I can honestly say that since I fell in love with my current husband no one has turned my head. I can't even imagine exchanging bodily fluids with another person. True love naturally fulfills all your needs. I feel for these couples. I think they are misguided and they don't listen to their souls.

I hope that Dr. Keith did his research on the swingers topic...there are 4 million of us in the US. I am happy to say that I am one of them..I am proud of what I do and I am very open to others..I have made terrific friends in and out of the bedroom..I feel that this has brought me and my husband soo close together..we laugh and call it legal cheating...it all started when I said that I would rather him have sex with someone than go out to dinner...the dinner is more emotional..sex is sex..our rule has always been infront of my face. NOT behind my back. We also let single males and females to join us..so if there comes a time that I come across a male that I am sexually attracted to I can bring him home with me and my husband will just sit back and watch (which he really enjoys). You REALLY have to have the RIGHT relationship and this lifestyle is not for everyone..you must have the stongest trust in one another..without that you do not have a real relationship to begin with...

Here I am watching the show on monogamy and I'm so disgusted with these people that think having extra martial flings is expressing themselves freely are sick. I am not overly religious but I do think that our good Lord does not approve of such behaviour. Marriage is a scared institution and I think that is one of the reasons our world is going to the devil. I was married and we did not beleive that we needed to have sex outside of our marriage. It is not an adrenlian rush as the man on your show commented about mounted biking, hiking. they are sports or hobbies or just plain fun. People need to go back to reading the word of God. My husband was my soulmate and yes we were maried for 28 years when he passed away and were happy together. what a bunch crock that they need to ahve sex outsie of marriage and it is ok because it is still a sin as it states in the bible that adultery is a sin. I'm not impressed with their reasons for it as it is an exccuse for having sex outside of the marriage. I have not really put it into what I really feel about these kind of issues as I'm not good with words

Dr. Keith,
Incest, betrayal, shame, not the best beginning for the only girl in the family. Starting when I was 10, my father was rarely around. I looked to my older brother for love, protection and approval - he took it as a chance to "teach" me what men want sexually (I was 10-12 years old). I have 2 boys now and my father feels cheated that he can't be in their lives. I tried until I saw him beginning the same patterns with them - build their trust, then dissappear. My father doesn't understand what's "wrong" with me and thinks I should be on medication. He tries to bring the entire family into it and will not accept any responsibility for anything. He knows my brother molested me and still pouts that we can't all just get over it. He tries to "get us back together"...Thank you for your show today "He can't feel my pain" as can't the mother of the angry son. He "didn't protect me" - your words mean more to me than I can express...you are helping me heal daily and I love you for it!!

Oh my goodness...here we go again...blame the mother for everything. You know, like your show and all, but...felt so sorry for the mother on today's show. Of course we all felt for Michael, the troubled young man. My heart went out to him. His pain was evident. But I felt like I was once again watching a mother being thrown under the bus. As a mother myself I will be the first one to admit that I've made my share of mistakes. What parent hasn't. But I did not see a mother on your stage who made the choices she made because she totally didn't care about her sons' feelings. She seemed in as much pain as anyone on that stage (as well as the pretty much ignored other female on stage, the daughter). Was the only way to reach the son for you, the psychiatrist, to say the choices he is now making as an adult (same as she once did as a young adult) only the fault of his mother's bad parenting? It's so frustrating to me both as a mother and a woman in this country...like most medical people have a less than respectful and caring emotion towards their women "patients". Seems like by indulging this young man's finger-pointing and the reiteration on your part over and over that the member of the family that "loved" him was his brother (what about the mother and sister?) could not possibly do much to rebuild the bridge between son and mother. I think this mother could have used a little support herself. I know I'm not a psychiatrist, but I saw little empathy on your part for all the love she did have for all of her children. Am I missing something? Were key elements of this show edited in some way to leave this out? It appears like all a person has to do these days is say it was my mother's fault I'm the way I am and you psychiatrists jump on the bandwagon. I know I can't quote it correctly, but there is a very old saying that goes something like, "there's no serpeant's tongue as sharp as that of an ungrateful child". Where those young adults over-punished as children. Sounds like they were definitely. Is there something deeper and more troubling and self-indulgent in this young man's motivation to continue down the criminal path than just this. I believe there is. Do we mothers have to carry the guilt of how and why every man in trouble turned out. Seems like your answer is a definite yes. Perhaps a talk show just isn't the way to help this family and certainly not a way to instill long missing respect for a mother who isn't a bad mother, just human like even you. Thanks for listening.

I am currently watching your show "Family Held Hostage by Rage". I disagree so much your Dr. Ablow. As a single mother it is very hard to take care of one child let alone 3 kids. This woman has done all she could for her children. I am not saying that she did not make mistakes everyone makes mistakes but her son has issues of his own. He is very stubborn, mean and cold hearted. In the blackcommunity it is not uncommon for women to raise children on their own. As his mother she brought him into the world and for him to be on national tv disrespect and not honoring his mother that is ridiculous. Both him and his mother has made mistakes but everyone seems to come down hard on her and I feel that is not fair. As a parent you provide for children and when they get older they will part and do what they want. We hope and pray that the valuse and principles you instilled in them will be their guide in living their life. Inner city kids have it really hard because the streets are waiting to raise kids that have broken homes. Once the streets get you it is hard to loosen that hold. They needs to put the past in the past and move on into the future so they he can live a happy and healthy life for himself and his kids and girlfriend. H

The Show October 19th, 2006.
I can identify with Michael.
His mother needs to come clean about things that she's done to him. She blames him for the way he was when he was a child and she can't do that. Michael was just a child. His mother needs to stop putting him down and blaming him for everything.
I don't have a relationship with my mother because she will never admit that she was abusive towards her children and alcohol. She will never admit that she left us home alone with no food and starved us just so she can drink with her friends
Michael's mother is living in denial and she needs to come clean in order to resolve the issue. If she doesn't then it will never happen.

I watched today's show (10/19/06) and became quite upset at Dr. Keith when he openly accused the mother on the show how she was never there for her son, Michael. I would like to know what EXPERIENCE Dr. Keith has in raising young african american males in "the hood" as a single parent? Or let alone raising children as a single parent period. His belief that this mother didn't keep her son "safe" is what makes me believe the book knbowledge of a psyhologist or any other professional is nothing compared to the real life knowledge of someone else. BTW: I have both, a Masters Degree and I grew up in projects of Philadelphia. I realize there is only so much a single mother (because face it most single parents are mothers, in all cultures) can and will do. Dr. Keith should keep this in mind the next time he explores a topic as fragile as this one.

I am watching the show right now. Thurs 10-19-06. I can't stand the constant arguing at the same time. Dr Ablow should put a STOP to that, and make them speak one at a time. Maybe the family could REALLY HEAR each other. All they are doing is trying to be louder than the other. This in itself is selfish. They will never be heard. That is very sad. The family as a whole is to blame.

My story is about identity
fraud/theft. I have a company and a client sent me an email they were making payment for my services and to give them my bank wire information. A few days later an email came thru to check my bank account the deposit was made. I called the toll free number and yes it was confirmed, I called customer service and the lady said yes another confirmation of the deposit was in the account. The next day I went to the bank asked the teller if there were funds available to get cashier checks and the teller said yes, There were over $79,000 in cashier checks written out and two bank employees signed them. Later that afternoon, I went home wrote out checks to pay bills and did that all weekend. Several days later, I'm informed that the cashier checks were dishonored and of course the checks that I wrote.
The Security Officer emailed me to tell me criminal charges were going to be brought against me for this matter. In the meantime the cashier checks written, one was made out to a realty company for 4 months of lease payment and one for the deposit on the same home, since I am buying this home on lease option I want to buy. The situation has now snowballed into a big mess, my vehicle is being taken away, a notice to leave the home has been presented, and much more. I have written to the Federal Reserve Board and the Office of Comptroller of Currency and the OCC has open a case against the bank but that doesn't stop the harrassment I've been going thru. This has been total devastation mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually since the amount I'm talking about is $400,000. I have never been in a situation whereby I do not have one type of control.

I empathize with Karna, who posted 10/12 about many very stressful situations she has dealt with and continues to do so. Karna, if you are reading this, I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother. I hope Dr. Keith's program contacts you, as I'd like to see you get some guidance in how to handle the grief when so many other stressors are demanding your attention. I would also consider it a personal learning experience that hits close to home.

Dr. Keith,
You did an outstanding job interviewing John Karr! He is an intelligent man, lawyer-coached, who believed he could portray a persona of sanity. You saw right through this and your interview tactics followed suit, bringing out the real John Karr, quickly and with ease. I found this look into the mind of John Karr fascinating and enlightening, but at the same time very frightening. It astonishes me that John Karr can actually believe that his pedophilic feelings are normal. I hope that details brought out in this interview might help to spark new investigations that may eventually get this guy off the street, this time with probable cause and no lost evidence! Keep up the great work, Dr. Keith!!!

Dr. Ablow, I watched your show re: John Mark Karr and your subsequent appearances on Larry King and Greta van Sustern with great interest. While I'm a lay person, I do have a degree in psychology and more understanding of personalities disorders and sociopathology than the average person, mainly due to my own personal experiences.

When you finally used the word "narcissistic" and the term "Mask of Sanity" I knew you were on the right path ... and was glad to see you mention Cleckley's work. I'm assuming you focused on the pedophilia mainly because that is what is most apparent, and most alarming to people.

One thing I kept waiting to hear, and it is regarding the sociopathology, is (1) they are quite intelligent and (2) they think they're smarter than anyone else and (3) they'll also inflate their experiences to impress you.

I'm glad you had the hidden cameras, for unless people actually saw that, I'm not sure they'd understand the two faces of these people. But I also think he's somewhat embellishing his experiences. In addition, the weirdness with which he speaks of asking someone not to die ("please don't die, Jon Benet"), etc., that makes everyone wonder? I think you probably don't have to look any further than the incident with his first wife, Quintana. After all, she was apparently knocked out for two days from being drugged ... I suspect he was doing a bit of "praying" hoping he hadn't killed her and he's taken that experience and embellished it -- and now is using it for shock effect in a new incarnation.

They are also pathological lairs -- which is not to say he's not dangerous (and extremely creepy). But, if I had a $1,000, I'd bet you that's where that fantasy comes from.

Thanks!

Clara

Dear Sir,

Why in the name of all that's holy would you give John Karr anymore face time? We all already know he is an extremely ill animal. I understand you may have wanted to educate the public but please don't give these scum anymore media attention. It will only be a matter of time till he hurts another child. These people can NOT be cured it is inevitable that he will molest again. Wait till then to talk to him. Thank You.

Dr. Keith, thanks for exposing the REAL John Karr. I grew up with him in Hamilton,Alabama, and although I saw some of that when we were kids (especially during drum major tryouts), his Jekyll and Hyde personality was really brought out. You really handled him well when he tried to manipulate the interview. I don't care what John says, he was on your show voluntarily on his own free will. Keep up the good work!

Dear Dr.Keith

I think you should do a show on scott peaterson. I was drawn into the whole case from the begining and I am really interested to see if he has changed his mind about what really happend to Laci. I have read almost all the books on this case and I would really like to know if he has admitted anything yet. I personaly think this would be a great idea for a show and im sure alot of people are curious to see what he has to say.
just an idea. thanks

I cannot believe you are giving John Mark Karr airtime. That is what that wacko wants. I will not be watching the show and I hope others won't either. All this interview will do is give him more energy for his deviant behavior!

I am 33 and trying to get my kids back home with me. I had a drug addiction and went through treatment. My kids were taken by IIU and placed in fostercare my father told me he would take care of my son until I could get him back and then he did the worse thing any parent could do. He filed for custody of my son. I was abused by my father as a child and the state gave him custody of my child and now I am afraid for my son. I have always tried to get over issues from my past with my dad and always put trust back into him and everytime he hurts me again. I have asked him to do family counseling but he refuses to do it. I could really use some help with this issue with my father. Is there anything you can do to help me?

I am a single 51 year old female who has been divorced for 17 years and find it difficult to find the right person in this day and age. I would like to see a show on older people trying to find the love of their life who sees the glass half full. I am a Christian women who has character and values and know that I have a healthy mature outlook on the rest of my life...yet where are the men? The dilemma, since I turned 50, men my own age are not interested. Will you ever do a show on older singles looking for love?

The best to your show,
Robbie

A friend of mine watched your show today and saw that you are looking for single mom's that are trying to find balance in their life and to be happy with themselves. I have sent letters to Dr. Phil and Oprah and never heard back from them so I am leary of writing to anyone else but my friend enocouraged me do write to you. I am a single parent whose life may not be flashy but I struggle with trying to find a balance of being a good parent (which I sometmes feel that I am not), going back to school and finding time for me. The past year has been extremely hard for me, last October I became a single parent with no career, I wanted to be a stay at home mom so I worked as a nanny part time and at a local health club in the gym both jobs I was able to take my son. I was barely able to make ends meet, and the only time I had to myself is when my son's dad had him for a few hours, during this time I was trying to catch up on housework or run errands. In May my mother was diganosed with Stage 4 panceratic cancer, in June I flew to Las Vegas to bring my mom home to live with me and be close to her family. My step-father came out a couple of weeks later to live with us. The four of us lived in my little one bedroom apartment. My mom was on Hospice home care. I am greateful for the time we had with her, she lived until August 2. During this time I was still working and picking up my two nephews from school everyday and most nights cooking dinner while my sister worked for the post office. She came and went as she pleased never offering to give me a break. Weekends were busy with family visits. Please understand I would not trade any of this for the world I know that my mom had the chance to be with us and spend her final days being loved by her family, it was just a lot of stress on me. After my mom passed I decided to go back to school something she wanted me to do as well, I started classes August 29. Going back to school meant no money coming in I could not keep working go to school and care for my son. My dad offered to let my son and I come and live with him so after much thought I decided to take him up on his offer. I made the 6 hour move on September 16, only one week after my mom's service. Not only am I dealing with being a parent, going back to school which will include getting my CNA at the end of this month, but trying to figure out how to grieve for my mom, dealing with the fall out of my family (my sister is no longer speaking to me and my step father and I are not on good terms after he told me he had feelings for me and touched me one time in away that I was not comfortable with), keeping the secret from my sister of what my step dad did, trying to adjust to living with my dad and helping him out as much as I can. If you can help please let me know how to find a balance and most important to me be a good parent to my son.

Sincerely

Very overwhelmed

Karna

Hello Dr Keith,
Great forum your show provides.
I just finished watching today's show (10/11) and couldn't believe your advice to separate the very young couple. Wow! "What God has put together let no man put apart."
That's the vow Dr. I was very impressed with the husband's stand. What outstanding sense of responsibility!
Once people get married, the ship has sailed.... What is required is commitment and for them minimize their financial obligations,i.e., avoiding debt and waiting on having kids. Thingslike that are still on the table, not a separation! As you are aware, money problems remain the #1 problem even for adults so what's new? I hope that couple stick together and work things out and not listen to your faux pas advice. She's not been abused, willfully not supported or threatened in any other way.
I hope you don't advice people that way. Marital success rate is already low, let's not make it totally disposable.
All the best!

Dr. keith,
I have to work but my husband and I tape your show and watch it togethr everyday after the children are down for the night. It is refreshing to have a show that deals with the problems we face without getting picked on. I like your approach. You're a wise man and I will pray that the good Lord increase your wisdom as needed. Take cre & God Bless!
Doreen
(Michigan)

I watched the show on anger illness today and wished my daughter and her children would seek help together or separately to help deal with the sudden burst of anger that always seems to be in their life.

My daughter suffers from bi-polar manic depression and ADHD. I had managing converative of the children which are now 18 & 21 y/o. The mother lived with us but was constantly disappointing the children with promises, she did not keep. My daughter constantly hurts the children by wanting them with her and telling them they have to leave and are not welcome in her home. I know she loves these children but it seems the focus is always on her needs, not their's. The boy (21) gets so upset but always thinks things are going to be different the next time. He now has a baby less than 1 month old. He loves this baby and her mother dearly. His baby's mother just lost her brother in an accident (which was also my grandson's best friend).
After my daughters outburst and when she is thinking more clearly, she feels bad but damage is already done and the words of hurt are still in their mind. The girl (18) has decided to not go back home except for short visits. She has never pushed for her mom's attention or her dad's but feels very unloved and not wanted by both parents. I feel so bad for everyone concerned and my stomach stays upset constantly with empathy for everyone concerned.

It just seems that bad luck is constantly plagueing this mother and her children. All I can do is pray for them that they will receive the help they need.

Thanks,
Barbara

Dr. Ablow, I have read your books and you are actually one of my favorite authors. I have used many quotes from your books to describe feels thoughts and cycles of growth and changes.

I hope you still plan on writing.

I wonder about a show topic. There is so much about child abuse, spousal abuse, and good parenting.

What about the children left behind in life, due to extreme abuse and neglect, what about those of us who have chosen not to have kids because we know of the unconscious tranmission of trauma. Even if I would never hit or yell at my child, the unconscious parts or there. I have worked very hard, so have others I know, to break the chain and go with life. To go to college, get decent jobs...eventually, we are dragged down. Because we won't take it out on anyone else, we won't act out. We know, but it is so hard to heal.

Maybe the parents who are hurting their kids, need to see....Maybe others need to see the other side.
The lifelong impact of this horrible, cultural problem.

Parts of my self and life have been stolen from me and others I know, and I have fought hard on my own. To quote one line in your book, "Some people get hurt so much in life, they can't get their needs met, even if someone is willing to meet them..."
I have struggled and continue to... To make something of myself and life.

My parents won't take responsibilty, just like no one in my early life has.

It is so hard to know that my parents are going on with life, consciousless, enjoying their grandchildren from my brother and enjoying his family, when I will never have that.
I think the public needs to see us, the adult children, who try as they might, are still battling the effects of childhood abuse in order to lead a good and decent life.

Thanks,
Danielle

I'm watching your show about out of control moms. Anger Illness?! Give me a break. You've got to be kidding with this one. There are plenty of people who grow up in horribly abusive homes and don't use it as an excuse to torment their own children. I notice most of these women are extremely overweight and maybe they have self control issues and instead of controlling themselves, they try to control those around them. Personally, I don't care what their excuses are- abuse is abuse. They are adults and part of being an adult is controlling your behavior. I just hope for the kids sake, that family members and neighbors of these women are watching and will call Child Protective Services. CPS doesn't really care about 'Anger Illness'.

Oh my, my.... This show today on the anger illness perfectly describes me. From the extreme anger that comes out of no where that I really feel like I am powerless to stop; To the sleeplessness, the sense of depression, to the crying. I thought until today that I was alone with this. I love my husband and my son but it seems like the anger and frustration is always geared towards my son and when my husband stands up for my son then he gets it too. I say them most terrible things to both of them, And I spew these things with the most deliberatly lethal venom that you could possibly imagine because I have such a volcanic rage brewing inside of me, and I don't know where it comes from. I can literally feel heat starting in my stomach and moving through my arms and fingers and then it moves to my head and then I blow. Normally I am the perfect mom and the perfect wife. But behind closed doors the other Jenny comes out and I can't control her; Like a split personality and this person takes over my body and I can't stop her from yelling and swearing (which I would never be caught dead doing any where else) I can't explain it! And I hate this other person. I hate what she does, and how she makes me feel, how she hurts my husband and my son. And the weird thing about it is that my son and my husband are the Sun and the moon to me and ordinarilly I would loose my mind all over anyone who would even dare to insult them, and yet I do it almost every day. Before I can stop myself I am yelling and cursing and ranting and raving over them using the guest towels, or spilled milk. How crazy is that? Yes my mother was very much the same only she had a much more violent temper then me. She was physically abusive and I swore I would never be like her but I ended up being a yeller and a screamer, very much the same as her. I want to stop this craziness. I've tried all the medication in the world for depression and none of them seemed to work so what now?

As many people writing in, I have watched your show on Angry Mothers. This is so me. I am a FURIOUS mother. I was diagnosed as bi-polar many years ago, before I turned 18. I am now 31. No health insurance company will insure me, and I make too much money to qualify for state care, yet I cannot pay for my medicine (Lexapro) or pay for counseling, which I desperately need, out of my own pocket. My anger, when it comes, consumes me, and when I am not mad, I am feeling guilty for being mad. I try hard to calm myself down when I get angry, but I still know I yell way too much. I see my son act the way I do when he plays with his friends and it tears me apart. There doesn't seem to be much hope for me, help wise here, so I will just keep walking away. Thank god I have supportive friends, or I would not be able to handle things. Thanks for listening.

Sarah

Dear Dr Keith,
I can relate to the anger illness Mom's because I was one,it's too late for me to fix it now, they are in their 20's and couldn't wait to get away from me. I can't explain it, I had a rare birth defect that greatly lowered the chances of me being able to bare children and even though I prayed to have my girls and was so excited to be a Mom, I would holler,spank, and blow up over the least little thing. I can remember throwing a cup of milk in my precious 2 yr olds face just because she didn't want to drink it. It was a boomerang effect from the way I had been treated by my Father(he has a ridiculous temper),my sisters, my husbands, I took my frustrations out on my babies. I am not on speaking terms with my youngest,she had a baby, we disagreed on circumcision issues, she told me I was childish and immature and that just did it, I told her I never wanted to see her or her baby again. I regret it. I have never had respect from anyone.My Dad tells people I am mentally retarded. I can't clean my house due to my health restrictions, no one will help me and I have to live in filth. They won't acknowledge my health issues, they just belittle me because of my short comings. I have low self esteem and panic attacks.
My oldest daughter has been on crystal meth, she gets all dramatic about any little thing and I don't want her to be like me, she reacts even worse than me.She has 2 little boys and she is good with them but, since she spent time in jail and hasn't been living with them, I see awful anger in my grandsons, I wish you could help them before this curse ruins another generation.They are only 8 and 6. Thank you Dr Keith.

I just watched your show about out of control Moms. I could relate extremely well to Kim. Being a single mother not by choice I can understand her frustration. Taking care of a family, bills,making sure homework, repairs etc can be overwhelming. I came from a two parent home and I did not want this for myself. ALso, African American women are always given the title of being strong and able to handle everything. This is always not the case. So we show our frustration in anger, obesity and other self destructive ways. I know.

HI I WAS JUST WATCHING YOUR SHOW ON MOTHERS WITH ANGER ISSUES,I WANT TO THANK YOU BECAUSE I HAVE HAD ANGER PROBLEMS ALL MY LIFE, I HAD A HARD CHILHOOD, ITS HARD TO BELIEVE HOW ANGER CAN JUST DESTROY A LIFE I HAVE A LITTLE GIRL WHO IS FIVE AND A SON WHO IS EIGHTEEN, MY SON CAN TELL ALL THE EFFECTS OF HAVING AN ANGRY MOTHER, I STILL HAVE PROBLEMS AND I HURT ALOT BECAUSE OF IT, I LOOK BACK AFTER I CALM DOWN AND I JUST WANNA DIE AT TIMES, I ALSO THINK OF MY CHILDREN BEING BETTER WITHOUT ME WHEN I GO THREW A RAGE, I YELL ALOT I WENT THREW ALL DIFFERENT DOCTORS I WAS ON ALL DIFFERENT MEDS, BUT I STILL HAVEN'T LET THIS ANGER GO IT ISN'T AS BAD AS I ONCE WAS BUT I KNOW THAT MY DAUGHTER IS VERY IMPORTAIN TO ME AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I DON'T WANT TO KEEP REPETING THE SAME MISTAKES, SHE TOO ACTS LIKE ME AT TIMES AND IT SCARES ME, IF YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE I WOULD LOVE IT OR ANY HELP I WOULD LOVE IT OR MAYBE A BOOK I COULD READ, I KNOW THAT I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER TO BE ANYTHING LIKE ME OR I WANNA CHANGE TO BE THE MOTHER I KNOW I COULD BE, THANKS FOR READING MY STORY, LISA, BRUNSWICK OHIO

I am so grateful for your show this morning, October 10, 2006 on the "Anger Illness." The show came at the perfect time to support my own journey. I am 63 years old and only in the past few months have I recognized the violent (as I have been calling it) aspect of myself and begun to deal with it effectively.

Here's an attempt to summarize very briefly: my father was abusive; I became an over-eater (largely in an attempt to narcotize myself); suffered bouts of recurring depression all my adult life; had occasional awful open explosions of rage; tried all sorts of therapy; read many self-help books; developed a spiritual life; and still felt like a total failure. The upshot is over the past several years I have completely withdrawn from all relationships. In the past several months as I continued to "work on myself" (e.g. doing dreamwork) I began to understand my withdrawal was as much to protect others from me, as to retreat from a life that was too painful. I have begun to be able to refuse to allow my explosions (yelling and hitting objects) to happen with massive physical effort, but also with equally great increases in my self esteem. And I was just recently able to "own" that aspect of violence in myself, an aspect I see as "split off" from the good father inside I worked so hard to create in order to survive at all. Having faced and "bearded the lion," so to speak, I am feeling more encouraged than I have in many years. There is a way back into the world for me.

I do want to add just one more thing. In recovery from the Anger Illness I think physical issues need to also be considered and addressed. I would not have come this far had I not identified my tendency to hypoglycemia. It is not the cause of my anger, but when my blood sugar is low I haven't a chance of a snow ball in Hades of making a conscious choice in how to deal with my anger. And choice is such a gift to those who have despaired of ever finding it.

In gratitude,
Patricia

Dr. Ablow,
As I sit here watching your show on Anger Illness, I can not help but feel as if someone has finally found the actual name for what I have been suffering from. More importantly, what my poor family has been suffering through.


I have three children ages 2,5,8. I yell on a constant basis. I go from what one of your guests described as frustration, anger, rage... on a daily basis.


I have often wondered, what was wrong with me. Why I could not control myself, was I that bad of a mother? Now I understand better, that I am not alone. There are other people like myself out there, who also want help.


I want help, I just don't know where to go. What sort of help do I seek, and then, if I can even afford the help.


I can't let my children or my family, or myself suffer any longer.


I have been sitting here crying each time a woman explains her story, because I never thought anyone else felt these exact same things.


If you could possibly put a list of suggested ways for others with anger illness to seek help. I want help, I just don't know how to go about it.


If I start now, maybe not so much damage will be done to my children.
Thank you, for putting this on your show, and for not making other individuals seem like monsters. Monster's don't care, loving mother's- do.

Dr. Keith,

I am sitting here in tears watching your show on angry moms. I am raising my 14 year old son and I am doing exactly the same thing to him. We have been in counseling for about a year now, but nothing has been addressed on how to fix this problem. My son is captain of his football team and a wonderful artist. I know he could be much more if I could fix my problem. How do I do that???
Theresa

I love your show, Dr. Ablow. You seem as if you genuinely care about the well-being of your guests. I see you are having a show about single women in their 30's which I think it great. But what about those of us in our 40's who are still looking for Mr. Right? It seems that we have been forgotten. How about having us on your show?

Dr. Keith,
I am watching your show on moms out of control with anger. I can relate to the so much. I am a single mother of four at the age of 31. I always feel like I am so anger at them. I feel like I am not doing a good job as a mother. Any help you could offer would be great...Thank you for showing me I am not the only one, plus I will try to look into thing in my own town for help.
Thanks again

Dear Dr. Ablow:

Presently I am listening to your Tuesday a.m. show regarding angry mothers. Thank you so much for brining this issue into the open, as well as acknowledging the cyclical effects of abuse. I was diagnosed with major depression at twenty-five. I finally realized something was wrong with me, and sought help from a psychiatrist on my own. My family doctor treated the undiagnosed condition with Zoloft and Wellbutrin, which did not help. Allowing other women and mothers to see some common ground with the women on your show might help them to get help as well. Mental illness is torture to experience without help. It's torture for those around us who don't know what's wrong.

Thanks again, Doctor.

I have just finished watching the wife show re-cap. I watch the wife swap show occassionally and just so happened to catch this one, and i can tell you it hit home on from both sides.

After watching both families on your show the one thing that I still was so sad about was the only child of Andrew & Marilyn. Watching Jason with the other families son, was just like a ray of SUNSHINE of the whole program. As a working mother of 3, and a wife and a owner of my own business i have been on both sides of these two couples issues, but Jason is all alone and he just seemed so happy to be talking to another boy his own age, made me cry. I hope the families do allow these two boys to form a friendship in whatever form it may be and remember parents are parents, they cannot be their childrens friends. We somewhere in our minds try and convince ourselves that our children will love us more, trust us more, if we are their friend. Well they have friends(our should)but they only have one set of parents, so it is our job to be parents and be there to guide them and show them how to live life and not be controlled by our past childhood experiences and give them a chance at a new beginning and break some of these terrible habits which we as parents bring forward from our childhoods that we dispized as a child. Parents are merely children who have larger number of birthday candles on their cake.

Stephanie Brunsick, OH

Dr Keith, I watched your show on the school shootings. The neighbors of the man who killed the young woman in Colorado described him as someone who kept to himself. You said that he kept to himself because he could not relate to other people as the guests on your show could. All children who are abused do not become abusers. All people who keep to themself are not people to be viewed with suspicion. I am very disappointed that you would continue that stereotype. How about some empathy for people who keep to themselves because of post traumatic stress disorder or social anxiety disorder?

Hey Dr. Keith,
I love your show and I think it is awesome. I am 20years old and have a beautiful daughter that will be 2 in March. I am newly engaged to a wonderful man that has a big heart. He always puts his other family first. I live in North Carolina and he lives in Texas and to me it seems like his family is going to him with there problems for him to help them out instead of taking care of his problems and he has a really big problem with saying no to them and not putting himself first.We have been trying to get me there to Texas for almost two months and it has gotton me really torn up inside to know that he is being taken advantage of and hes not standing up for himself and he says things will change when I get there but how so if he doesnt put his foot down now? Am I wrong for telling him to put his foot down and to stand up for himself? I am scared that all this is gonna come between us and I am trying to stay strong but I just dont know what to do anymore. Please I need some advice.Thanks for your time.

Dr. Ablow,
I saw your show for the first time the other day (Cyber Bullies) and it was excellant!! I am also a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and it is refreshing to see a show that really reflects the therapeutic process. Our profession is highly stigmatized and viewed as non sense to many. I sincerely hope that your show changes this and I truely believe it will!! Thank You Dr. Ablow.

Ditto Sharon. I think that you have been sent to help all people that are suffering in life. What you stated on todays show was just brilliance. Who ever wrote that needs a raise. A BIG ONE! Hug your kids and tell your friends that you love them.

Dear Dr. Keith
I am much in hopes that your staff will give you this letter and feedback. I have been a psychotherapist for over 35 years and have been somewhat appalled at the "therapy" talk shows that include the best known judgmental female radio personality and the male advice giving overly directive TV therapist "entertainer."
Finally I see a man who has insight and sensitivity and can help people go to deeper levels of understanding of why they behave as they do. I am most impressed. I especially like how you "listen" to people and never judge or blame and can offer clear direction in the context of such a short encounter. My gentle advice to you is please, please don't yield to pressures to become sensational and up the ratings and forget how you are reaching a more intelligent and higher level of consciousness with your wise, human and insightful approach. Keep up the good work and I am so happy to see a healing presence on TV who models what good therapy looks that.
Sharon

Dr. Keith,

I love your show. I look forward to seeing it each day. You seem to truly care and want to help other people. I would however,like to know a little more about you. You are married with two kids? Boy and girl? Ages? Names? Where you grew up and attended college? Live in New York now or outside of New York? Would even like to see a picture of you and your family.

Debra, in Texas

HELLO.....I MUST SAY YOU R A VERY AMAZING PERSON AND I LOVE YOUR SHOW...JUST FOR THE RECORD.AND NOT TO BE TOO RUDE..I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE WON FIRST PLACE OVER ALL OTHERS. YOU R GENUINE AND I CAN SEE YOU R VERY CARING...GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SHOW AND MAYBE YOU CAN GIVE DR. PHIL.SOME GOOD POINTERS...LOL..GOOD LUCK ALWAYS.....YOUR EXCELLENT.

I am watching the cyberbulling show. You have to understand that jon inability to care about who is hurt is an act. I am sorry but is not handsome. He is trying desperately to cover up his plainness. I am mocking your life after a teenage movie is so unoriginal. Remember "Heathers"? He is too trying to belong and the only thing cool about him is his coldness. Should he show compassion, then he would lose his only edge. The title of the group tells you everything, plastic,hollow, nothing. I wish I was in the audience I would broke that cool demeanor. I am 37 and yes, gorgeous and would not dream of crushing anyone just to make myself feel better about me, but again, I love myself. That poor kid needs a hug.

I've been watching your show everyday and your insight into peoples emotions and the reason why they act the way they do is very interesting.And some of the advice I can use in my life.Watching the show on cyber bullying is making me sick to my stomach.I have 3 girls and they have dealt with bullying and it is very hurtful and it upsets me that there are young people and older people out there that have so little regard for other human beings and what their abuse does to them.I've went to Myspace just to listen to music and the things that people talk about can be very perverse and sometimes mean.I hope that parents who's children have a Myspace page are monitering them with a magnifying glass.Because any time someone post a comment on a friends page it can be read by anyone and they can be contacted by people you would not want your children to be in contact with even on the internet this is dangerous.I always watch my kids when their on the internet while still giving them alittle privacy and my daughters will not be allowed on Myspace because it is to easy for them to see things on there that's not appropriate.I've seen things on there that surprised me even as an adult.I hope that more teenagers who are looking to make friends find a different outlet other then Myspace or other chat sites because their just not safe even with parental supervision.And adults should be careful looking for support or acceptance on the internet on certain sites because you never know who's on the other side and what their mental state is like the guy on there today who doesn't care about anyone.I wish people like him didn't exist in this world.Because you never khow what distructive things their capable of.They hurt many people without even thinking about it.Just for fun.It's so nice to see a show that gets down to the core issues and tries to help people start the healing process.

I enjoy the show, however, I am troubled by the episode I just watched on internet bullies. Why didn't Dr. Ablow or anyone else suggest that these victims simply limit their computer use and get rid of instant messaging?! Cut the problem off at the core. Why not tell these victims that they are allowing themselves and giving the internet bullies permission to repeatedly abuse them by continuing to log-on to the internet? Are we all THAT dependent on technology? I just wish someone would have told the girl who was being severely bullied to turn off her computer for a certain period of time until it all died down and they left her alone.

I am responding to the show that I saw today about internet bullies. I am sitting here listening to John (one of the guest on the show) and I can't help but think that something bad must have really happened to him for him to be as cold, nonemotional, and insensitive as he was on the show. There is a part of me that almost feel sorry for him. He needs help. For him to sit there and say he wants a cigarette while that woman was up there talking about her life story is just mean.

This show is amazing.And Doc you are right on! I cannot believe what I am watching and hearing. Without compassion for one another where would we be.Bullying has been proven over and over again the acts of an individual who is jealous, its an outlet for pain. I wish I understood this when I was a child 48 years ago. But you know what Doc...Adults bullying Adults is also very much alive.
I LOVE YOUR PROGRAM....

Helpful Hint:
Whenever discussing eating disorders, DO NOT under any circumstances divulge tips or secrets for hiding or continuing eating disorders. Having people reveal these "secrets" is not helpful to anyone and can be potentially harmful to anyone watching the show who might be impressionable. The last thing you need to be doing is giving young girls a step by step guide on how to maintain and disguise an eating disorder. As a psychiatrist, you should know better. Try actually getting in touch with NEDA, they'll teach you a few things. Here's to hoping you seriously edit your pro-ana episode.

Hello Dr Keith,

I just watched your show on Polygamist Families. I thought it was positive, respectful, and mostly responsible; however, my concern is that having come into the show halfway through I did not hear any clarification to the religious affiliation of the guests explaining the separation of their religious group from the LDS—or Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint—church. In a segment interviewing teenagers, you asked a boy if he chooses to date only “Mormons” to ensure he’ll be able to live a plural marriage, this terminology is most notably used to refer to the LDS church. My issue is as follows: As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, otherwise and originally referred to as "Mormon", I am disappointed that it wasn't pointed out that though the guest on your show are happy to be called "Mormon," the two religious groups are in no way connected. Our church hasn't practiced polygamy in over 100 years, since the later 1800s. The appearance on your show was otherwise by grouping of my church with that of theirs—there are several little groups throughout Colorado, Utah, Arizona, and growing in other places who refer to themselves as “Mormons” who are not apart to the official Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so called “Mormons” beginning in the early 1800s.

I have no complaints about the family nor other guests on the show for their life style. I desire the accurate clarification be made: "Mormons" DO NOT practice polygamy. In fact, today, if any person is found to be practicing polygamy within our church membership, that person is invited to repent and/or become excommunicated as a course of disciplinary action. We are a church of law abiding citizens. The law clearly states marriage is between ONE woman and ONE man (with exact language in the state of Utah). We are charged to live chaste lives; we only have sexual and intimate relations with a spouse to whom we are recognized by the government to be LEGALLY AND LAWFULLY married to. Polygamy, wonderful as it may be for some, simply does not fall within those perimeters and therefore is immoral and breaking the laws of chastity.

I appreciate your show topics and your comments. I think, in general, your production is very responsible and helpful. It is in this specific point I'd like to see better information given. I AM NOT a polygamist! Not any other member of the LDS church (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), otherwise known as Mormons, practices this form of family life either. I, personally, prefer—morally and legally—not to be represented as though I do.

I watched your show today an polygamist families, and it was interesting, BUT you kept referring to them as Mormons.

They are NOT Mormons! they are a brake away from the true Mormons, The Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints.

We the members of the true Mormons do NOT believe in or practice in polygamy, and haven't since 1890. We believe in keeping the laws of our government.

It would be greatly appreciated if you could, somehow, let your listening audience know this.

Thank You, a new listener

I just wanted to clarify the woman polygamist on your show today. They do not belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or the Mormons. They have been excommunicated from the LDS church because of polygamy. They actually have divided and belong to the reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. They are not recognized as members of the LDS religion. I would ask that you clarify this with your viewers. As it was said on your show that they were Mormons. Thank you

I tuned into your program of sept. 28th ... I am concerned that you referred to those who believe in polygamy as "Mormons" The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is referred to as the "Mormons" this is due to a wonderful book that is called "The Book of Mormon" Mormon was a Prophet of Jesus Christ in the America's and combined records of those who lived in the America's, similar to the Prophets of the Bible. "The book of Mormon" compliments and is a companion to the Bible in the testimony of Jesus Christ. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints does not preach or live or approve of Polygamy. The Book of Mormon does not speak of Polygamy in any way and so to use the name "Mormon" when referring to Polygomy activities is in error! I have no concerns as to those who live Polygamy, however, to refer to those living that life style as "Mormon" is incorrect. One cannot live that life style and be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

When I was twenty I was involve in a motorcycle accident. I was going to work, I had no idea I was thrown 155 feet off my motorcycle. My life as I new it was gone in a split second, as were all my dreams.
I was in a coma for 3 months. I had broken my left and right ankles. When I flew off my motorcycle, my clutch went in my left arm and my brake went in my right arm, braking most of the bones in my arms. When I flew off my motorcycle, I busted my windshield with my right knee and the busted windshield acted like a razor blade and cut off my right kneecap. Sometime during my accident, I busted my hip on the right side and sustained a concussion on the left side of my head.
My parents were told by the Hospital that I would never walk or talk again. The Hospital had given up hope. They felt there was nothing else they could do. My parents transferred me and during the ambulance ride to I came out of my coma.
I was in rehabilitation for 5 months. When I finally went home, I was in a wheel chair for little more than a year. My mother would drive me back and fourth for my speech and physical therapy treatments. Three years after my accident, I could finally get a job and start to feel productive and in control of my life again. I kept that job for 23 years, until an out of state company bought it and then close it down.I have also been living on my own for the past 26 years.
The reason I mentioned work and living Quarters are because when I left the Hospital to come home, my doctor had a meeting with my parents and me. He said he never would expect me to talk or walk good again, live on my own or be able hold full employment in my life.However, my mother who was a nurse's aid, told me that the doctor was telling me all the things that could happen if I didn't try and better myself.I am writing this to try and show people or should I say tell people to "never give up."

Now,I am 49 years old, I have pins in both my ankles, pins in both my arms, a pin in my right knee, a pin in my hip, and a slight speech impediment. I can't walk through an airport without setting off the metal detector.
But what I feel I am try'ing to say is "No matter what hardships you are going through, there is always Hope."

I just saw your show with Sid on discussing her secret of struggling with depression. I want to COMMEND her for coming out and being so BRAVE to admit this struggle on national television. Besides that and more importantly, being a black female - mental illness is very much TABOO in our culture. I think she is going to help countless many other young ladies of either race identify and hopefully seek help for clinical depression. Depression is a very very serious and must be treated and so many of us DO NOT seek help at all. I myself have suffered with severe depression in the past. It's one of the most challenging things I've been though. And this last time was harder because now I have a young child. So, Sid - I THANK YOU FOR SHARING SOMETHING SO PERSONAL. It brought me to tears when your mom was telling you how much she loves and cares for you. THANK YOU and GOD BLESS.

me and my husband have been married for 4 years now have 2 kids together and i have 2 kids from previous marriage. well when me and my husband first got together it was instant chemistry, well i found he was cheating on me with another woman well he lied about it for long time. The other woman called me one day told me she was pregnant , and the same day she told me she was pregnant i found i was also pregnant. I had hard time with this but after a while i decided to move on from this but i laid the law down told me no more going to bars and what not if he wanted to stay with me well he did that for a while and my husband denied hers all the way up to paternity, which he was found to be father. She had a girl and so did I, which they are 2weeks apart and 5 now. Last year he was hanging in bars again flirting and going in pattern he promised he would not he had a fling no sex involved, but kissing and flirtations. i keep coming back to trust issues with him and cannot forget about the past and always wondering and questioning things with him, and he says he understands why i am that way but he acts as if i have no right to be that way. I am just curious -Am i fighting a battle i will not win?

When you talk about relationships, I almost come to tears. I was adopted at the age of 3 from a very abusive home to another abusive home and then married an abusive man. I'm now in a stable and very happy marriage, but all the relationships before him have caused me to be distant, not cold really, but I do keep things inside. Abusive relationships do effect your future and it's very hard to come to terms with. I'm now 53 and have flash backs a lot of all the years previous to my husband. I wish there was a way to make those go away forever and never return. I'm so thankful for my husband, who knows some of the things I went thru before him, but will never know the extreme of them all. It's so hard to get past all the voices you hear in your head telling you the worst things about you all the time, but when I watch your shows about relationships, it does help. Thank you so much and keep up the great work.

I have been watching your show all the week of 9/18, but the show on Friday shook me to the core. I haven't been involved in a relationship to speak of for over eight years (since I was 30) and I essentially gave up even trying about five years ago. A decision I have since come to peace with. Given the last relationship I had ended in depression so severe, I nearly didn't survive, I just didn't feel the risk for me personally was justified, so I abandoned any efforts to, and in fact actively avoid, becoming involved in a relationship.

The very reason for my decision was directly related to the final statements made on the show that the relationship was a journey. I just seemed like everyone I ever met or dated had no concept of this and I was a validation extraordinaire to hear a professional confirm what I have believed all along.

I must say, I stumbled upon the Dr. Kieth show accidentally because I was watching the show that is broadcast before you, but now, I am hooked. Thank you for the wisdom, insight and REAL education about what is needed to maintain and nurture interpersonal relationships.

I enjoyed Thursdays show on infidelity and broken relationships. I am going through something very similar, but the women on your show possess more strength than I do. I have been with my husband since I was 13y.o, he was 19. We've been together for 14yrs, married for 10yrs (As of 12/06). I recently found out that he was having an affair with a woman 14yrs my senior for several months (his co-worker). All the signs were there but I ignored them because I refused to believe that he could hurt me that way. I forgave him the first time, thinking we could repair our relationship. He promised to end it and to work on our relationship, but refused marriage counseling. We live together, but we're not together (still legally married). I had a hard time letting go, because I thought I needed him. (We have a 12y.o and 7 y.o daughters together-my youngest is autistic.) I'm miserable, I cried everyday for six weeks. He mocked me and mimicked playing the violin. We've even gotten into several ugly fights. I feel stronger now, we don't speak. Both of our families know. I've been told to kick him out from both sides. I'm a nurse and have been pretty much providing for my entire family, he works as a material handler. He has told his mistress he loves her and called her 4-6x a day on the cell I gave him for christmas. She's married with kids. I had several confrontations with her and she commented to me that she was in love with him and was like his second wife. I became furious and experienced anger to a degree I've never experienced. I don't think our relationship will ever be repaired. I've been through this with my parents 20 years ago.

I am a Marriage and Family Therapist in Denver and just saw your show. Bravo. Such a better representation of what we do than Dr Phil. Thanks and good luck. Mary C. Collins MSN,LMFT

Wow what a show on Thursday. I think it can help anyone living through a divorce especially after a break up from infidelity.

My life was my husband and family for 24 years. And that was shattered 2 years ago. I am a very strong woman but still struggle with getting over my ex-husband and rebuilding my life. I would love to hear a show about how long it takes to get over a divorce and husband that cheated.

It was truly a pleasure to see Shar Jackson on your show because I have often wondered how she was doing and dealing with the publicity surrounding Britney and Kevin. I may be mistaken but I believe you are one of the only TV personalities who have had her on their show and given her a chance to share her feelings. I have so much admiration for her. Shar positions herself as atrong woman and one who carries herself with dignity and class. I have often wondered how she was feeling and what she was doing with herself surrounding all the publicity of the last two years. She seems to be so wise beyond her years. She is truly blessed to have such strong role models as her mother and grandmother because she shines like a jewel.

Thank you SO much for having Shar Jackson on. It really helped me to understand my situation better. I have a 1 year old son. His father and I broke up when he was 5 months old. Now my ex is getting married, with a baby on the way. It is really hard for me to deal with all the feelings. I don't want anything to do with this woman, or her child to be. But I know I have to be friends with them for my son's sake. Thank you again.

I just watched Shar Jackson share her story. I would like to thank you for having her on. As a 26 year old going through a divorce, I can empathize with Shar and her experience. I was touched by her strength and character. Although I do not wish these experiences on anyone else, it is nice to know that I am not alone.

hello,
My issues/problems, are related to years of built-up guilt, starting back to 15,(I'm now 50). at 15, I accidently sht and killed my friend, at 17 my brother, ayear older died, at 18 another friend of mine was hit and killed by a car in front of me. I was married for 21 years, got a divorce, it was a friendly one, but my ex suffered a fatel heart attack 2 months after the divorce, in front of my oldest son, just 19. I had suffered from years of back problems, starting at age 12, at 42 the doctors took me off work, a job that I loved, went to stay with my mother, we were very close, she developed lukemis, I took care of her until her death. I just cant seem to let go of guilt, which causes depression.

I really enjoyed your show today( featuring shar jackson).As a single women expecting my frist child, I drew alot of strength from the show. THANK YOU

TO K DAVIS (Sept. 9, 2006):

It is wonderful to hear you say that “I would date me.” It tells me that you have the capacity to love yourself, and therefore, the capacity to love someone else. You have much to give someone. However, I believe your focus should be on YOU right now, and a relationship will follow. I recently started looking for people to date online. There are lots of other ways though. To meet more people, you need to put yourself in situations where there are a lot of people. Do you have a passion, or have you ever wanted to try a new hobby? Join an organization in your area that revolves around your interests. Volunteer for a cause that you believe in. Get a new job where you interact with a lot of people. By focusing on developing yourself or giving back to your community, you will not only be meeting lots of people and a potential “special someone,” you will be building your self esteem and making yourself more attractive to someone. You might also meet new, supportive friends. And don’t give up on therapists. (I hope you reported that awful one.) I tried quite a few before I found one that really helped. I asked the local women’s shelter for the name of a therapist who specializes in abuse. You might also ask your doctor’s office for the name of a good therapist. It sounds like you might benefit from joining a support group, and I don’t think they cost any money. I am 50 and have just left a long marriage. It took a lot of self education and finally a good therapist to help me. I have never been happier, so there is hope. You are still young and have much to look forward to. I commend you on the work you have done so far. God bless you for your courage and good luck!

Dr. Keith,
I have watched your show since its' premiere. I am most impressed with your style, your production quality and your topic selection.
Unlike other psychologists on the air, you bring a brilliant, witty, sincere, human approach to getting at the problems of others. You are not into brow-beating.
I enjoyed your show with Charlie Shanian, because it is topical and you also got into the psyche of a man hurting from a relationship, instead of the obvious (womans' point of view).
Dr. Keith, you are part psychologist, part journalist and you went into the deep areas of Charlie Shanian without exploiting him.
I am now a fan. I will be watching and keep focusing on the human condition-relationships are key and men care about them and need them too! Thank you!

As a licensed therapist, I am so glad to watch a show where true therapy is occurring. Dr. Keith is so talented and skilled, and he makes our profession proud in every show! Thank you, thank you, Dr. Keith!!!!

Oh, oh, oh....and did I see a tear escape from Dr. Keith this morning. I think so. Very moving moment for the audience also. These people from all across the country come and open their hearts to Dr. Keith and the world. It's amazing! The sincerity that shines through Dr. Keith just warms the heart of all those that watch. You can't help but love him and the work he does.

Kess

Another powerful show from Dr. Keith regarding the daughters that want their Moms back. Oh baby, Dr. Keith certainly knows how to get the feelings flowing. You are a gift Dr. Keith. Oh, and what I wouldn't do to give you a big hug, and maybe rub your beautiful bald head. I am quite jealous of the make-up lady that gets to powder it. You're a star, Dr. Keith.....because you touch people, and help people, and are amazingly real. We are lucky to have you.

Kess

I have just seen the show with Candice and her blended family and would like to make a comment. First I want to say I had the exact same feeling as the woman Sheree who posted - why Dr. Keith were you supporting the step-mom's use of the word shelfish? I find that to be a counter-productive use of language that that woman should have had the maturity to know was not useful. Candice won't be in a state to negotiate until she gets some basic needs met and that is to get her fears of losing her dad's love to diminish. It is in no one else's place to judge what she is feeling, she has a right to be upset - any child that loses a parent gets a part of their emotioal body frozen in time with that event. The father and daughter need to have time to help her heal her heart and mature her understanding of what she has been through and they should be in counseling together. She is trying to control her environment right now to create safety for herself. The step family is just in the way of that security. The parents are always the leaders in the drama and they need guidance in this situation on how not to be reactionary, but to work hard to establish a unified front to the children. Right now the father is knee-jerking to all the womens' demands and the mother-in-law is fueling the fire. Her older daughter is no gem either. she is protecting herself emotionally now by acting like her crap doesn't stink. Seems as if the whole family needs a lot of love and that seems unfortunately to include the parents. And yet it is the parents that need to lead by example.

I have a comment about the girl who did not like her stepmother or her children.I think that she is a very selfious .My realationship with my dad is not good and my mom and dad are still married.I understand that her mother died but if my realationship with my father was better and my mom died i would want my dad to be happy.You can't always be the only person in your fathers life she is a teenager and needs to learn how to grow up.She needs to start feeling lucky that she still has someone in her life that loves her.

I just finished watching the blended family. How old is Candyce? I think she needs to grow up. My mom died when I was 8 years old and my dad remarried a year and a half later, we had some rough times but everyone needs to learn to give and take. If Candyce was not so self centered she would be happy to see how happy he now is with his new wife and that should make her happy. Why is she even living there? I think she is old enough to move on and out. What would she do if he died? That's what happened to me, my dad died when I was 16 and not even living in this country, I was with my step mom and step brother. As I said before she needs to grow up.
Anita

I have been watching your Tv show since it started and I would like to tell that it is great. A lot of people do not know that some time's when things are not going so well in your life that seeing a therapist is not a bad thing.

We are not all perfect and I feel that there has been some kind of life altering event in everyone one's life.

It is not bad to seek help. People tend to think that seeking help means that people will think of them as being week person and then they hold it inside and swallow it.

I feel you are showing people you can change you life and make it better and give them that light at the end of tunnel and that asking for help is not a bad things.

Some time you need to need some one to talk with because one on one or with family to get over issue's and start enjoying your life and stop playing the blame game and making them aware of their own actions.

Some time's people tend to get caught up in there emotion's and can not separate them or were never thought.

I feel that if more and more people realize that therapist are not out just for money there to help and I feel there should be a lot of people going.

I was once told that all therapists are wack jobs and all they want is money and a waste of time. I feel there not ready to face what is happening or has happened.

There is a solution to most things and only you can change and some thing you have no control over.

I feel that you are showing that everyone is able to make better change's and choice's in there life to make it better even if it means you have to get down to the hurtful part and then learn the coping skills to move on.

As a mother of 4 and I have had my heart ship even and a child and as an adult.

I filled for Divorce and I tried to get my husband to got to therapy with me and he would never go but I would and thing s just out of hand with him and I had to leave and soon as I filled for divorce the next thing I did was take the kids to therapy and I tell you I feel it was the best thing I did. He has help the kids get through this tuff time and even though I told them it was not there fault that me and there dad split up it was better it came from me and a therapist.

My son told me mom I will stop fighting with my sister and be good and my daughter said mommy I will stop being bad and that broke my heart but what I told them was Daddy and I no longer get along and they new that and it was not there fault and there not bad kids you are just being kids and you are not to blame. That both mom and dad still love them.

You are doing such a great job and please keep on doing it. Your talk show is real and not like (you're not the father) or (is he cheating show.) it that would happen I feel you would not make it like a drama show but get to the point.

Dear Dr. Keith,
I was watching your show today on blended families and really conected to Candice.I also have a father who pickes other women over me and has for many years. But the thing I feel was not addressed that
bothered me the most was the way the stepmother kept calling her selfish and saying she didn't want to indulge selfishness. I feel a good start for her trying to get along with her stepdaughter would be to stop telling her and everyone else in the family that she is selfish. This was done to me when I was young and it was very harmful. I was not selfish I actually had no self. I was expected to be there for everyone else including my drug addict brother at
the total voiding of anything me. What happens when people label you that way is that you end up feeling that no one understands you because you don't feel you are that thing that they label you.
I just wanted to bring this to your attention so that maybe it could help someone
else.

I see interviews on TV with celebs/rich folks who have financial resources and can afford to live with disabling depression, but there are many thousands of Americans (me being one of them) out here who have lost jobs due to this horrific mental illness and don't have adequate financial resources to keep going. I was told that it would take approx one year for Social Security Disability (I've worked since age 16 and am now 52) and after 17 months I am still waiting for a hearing after my application for SSA was denied twice. I've had to file bankruptcy and after disability payments from my former employer end in December I will have no resources at all on which to live. Will I be joining the ranks of homeless? Unless an individual is already approved for SSA disability you are not eligible for ANY assistance from ANY public assistance resources. What are people like me supposed to do? Friends and family have helped all they can and all of my assets were wiped out by this illness - I've been on just about every combination of meds available and have had ECT, but my depression is "treatment resistent" and renders me unable to work. It is a travesty that the SSA does not recognize mental illness and disabling. Persons with depression have it bad enough and don't have the energy to "fight thru the system". Two appeals in 17 months and still no hearing date makes every day hell for me because of the uncertainty of what will happen to me when disability from my former employer runs out......think about how that would feel. I believe this issue deserves national attention so that perhaps the help needed might be more forthcoming.

Dear Anonymous! How do you expect anyone to love you, if you don't love yourself? A guy won't fill that emptyness inside, as food doesn't. There are many of us out there walking around with big empty holes inside of us, trying to run from, hide from, or numb ourselves from feeling the truth about that emptyness. We do it with sex, food, drugs, alcohol, gambling, over-shopping.....choose your poison, or distraction as there's many many more. But you have two very important things you need to do right now, and that's to take care of your daughter and yourself. That's it! Stop worrying about a guy. Get your act together. It sounds like you have a great job in October. Get your mind and body healthy for that precious daughter of yours....and then feel the void that the food is trying to fill. I believe things wont get better until you do. Only you can do it dear....and you must, for your daughter. Good luck to you!

I am a single mom of a beautiful 7 year old girl, I got pregnant with her in college;I was 21, the guy was someone who I was just sleeping with (although I had to tell my parents we were boyfriend and girlfriend)-but this has been the case my whole life-I only had one "real" boyfriend who I loved and actually waited to have sex with me. All the other guys were just sex-and that makes me so sad. I am 29 years old now and still do not have a boyfriend; all I really want is to get married and have more children-and just be in love and feel loved. I also have very low self-esteem from not having a boyfriend-my daughter is starting to notice now and I don't want to be a bad influence to her by being sad, depressed & angry. I used to be about 50 lbs lighter than I am now:I am not obese or anything but I feel like a big unhappy slob.And I keep thinking if I just lose this stupid weight maybe somebody will fall in love with me-all my friends and family say oh you are so pretty-well if that is the case why hasn't one guy in 12 years( that's how long it has been since I had my boyfriend) been my boyfriend-Do I just exute "sleep with me-that's all I want" because I don't want only that. Also Because of my insecurity I turned to food- and honestly I think it has become an addiction- I am starting to think what's the point anymore I will just get fat and be alone-but my daughter is seeing this behavior. I can't talk to any of my friends and family about this anymore because I just know they are all sick of hearing it. I should be happy- I have a healthy daughter, I just graduated from college with a A.A.S degree in Veterinary technology & got a full time job in that field starting in October-but I just feel so empty and fake. I have no money because I had to do my internship for school for six weeks unpaid. So I have to keep asking my dad for money until I start my job in October. I get no child support and never have-he owes back pay since she was a baby-but right now he is in prison. I don't know what to do about anything-I feel like a failure as a mom because I am being a poor influence, can't afford to put her in gymnastics or anything-a loser daughter who is 29 and still asking for money-and a pity friend because I have a hard time being happy for my successful married friends, not to mention I don't fit into their "couple" lifestyle.

I want to thank you for having katherine Mcphee on the show and I'd like to thank her for sharing her story. I have struggled with my weight growing up, but never did anything about it till I was 24, 184lbs. I started out on a good diet plan that really worked, got down to 132lbs on herbalife. I exercised, ate right. I did grow up with a bad child hood of abuse and have always suppressed those feelings. I think what put me over the edge was losing my job 3x in a row while building our 1st house and having no $, very stressful. All of a sudden I really felt worless. This was not a new feeling for me, but a resurfaced one that hit me even worse that before. We were also trying to conceive, there were fertility issues. Because of this I turned to bulimia. I was still working on my weight loss and just felt I had to do something right in my life to make me look good,"perfect".
Unfortunately, I did not realize it would be so hard to stop. I am going on 4 years with this disease. I feel horrible because I went through fertility tx with this disease and did not tell the dr for fear of him not helping me get preg, finally after 5 years of really trying, conceived my very beautiful and lucky to be alive dauhter, I had been doing the binge purge during the preg because of fear of gaining too much weight, but I really tried not too. During my preg and currently I am trying very, very hard to beat this habbit on my own. I am too scared that if I sought help I would have to give up my job and life and others would know How unperfect I am. So I continue to struggle on a daily basis and usually have more good days than bad. It makes me hopeful that I can get over my disease like katherine did. The only thing I've got going for me is my strong will and determination to kick this habit. I do want to live, especially now for my dauhter. I don't want her growing up with a mother who has bulimia. Being preg and B/F have actually given me the chance to do the best I can to recover for mysake and my family's Thank you katherine.

I am having anger issues and I don't know how to deal with it and fix it. I fight with my husband over how to raise our children and how we should go about making our family understand our views on how a family should run. I believe that our kids push us to a limit that we cant return from. Our kids range from 4 months to 13 years old and the 13 yr old is a girl and she of course has some attitude issues and I think that she is trying to keep a balance between her real mom and me. I treat her as if she were my own and her mother doesn't do any motherly things with her and I think that bothers her. I dont know how i sshould approach her. Our 9 yr old is a boy who loves Video games more than life itself and I believe that 1 hour on a daily basis is ample time for playing them, of course my husband who has let him play way too much. He feels that if he doesnt then his son will think he doesnt love him, he just recently got him to sleep in his own bed which is another subject that is touchy for me.

I am a single mother of one and trying to keep a happy home. I have had mom in my life until this year she has changed so bad that I really think it's is not going to get better. My mom has quit her job when she was under accused of stealing money at her job. she then stole money from there and that made it really bad for her. she was in jail on Friday Aug 25 2006 my brother and his girlfriend had helpped to get her out of jail some other people helpped out too. we got her out on a sunday the thing that has hurt me more was I didn't get a Thank you at all for any of what I had to do. I them thought everything was fine until I got my money from me and my son's disability check. well I went to bed and thought everything was fine it was on a monday afternoon mom had asked me for money I had told her no. I got up Tuesday morning I couldn't believe what I had saw my dead bolt was unlocked and the bottom lock was locked but I was very not happy what I found out in my van mom had broke into my house and took my purse to my van then dumped it out and made it look like my van had been robbed she also made a fake deposit and signed my name to it not even like I printed it, I know something wasn't right then I found out she had taken money from me 300.00 and that made me so upset I called the police they took a report and I just looked at the vidieo at the bank and planning on letting them do things that the police and the bank need to do what they have to do. I am not letting things go she turned my life upside down. I have alot of family on my side my brother doesn't believe me and he wants me to drop everything no not on home invation that is bad I I don't know what to do I am doing everything I can do to take care of my son and I. Help I can't stand it when things happen to me like this I am doing all I can to do tough love on my mom I can't face her I don't want to even see her she has changed a lot. I don't know what else to do when my own mom steals from her child and grandson I have noticed she has been bugging me for food and I can't let her in my house no way. I have alot to loose if I would lose my son and my house.

just a comment on the friday, sept. 15 show...
The father of those two girls must like what is between Billies legs more than he loves his kids.
you DONT EVER give away your kids rooms.
i'm sorry her life was so hard for her, but you do not, and i repeat, you do not take it out on your new lovers kids.
you would think that the life billie led as a child would make her more sympathetic.
i have three kids and would NEVER make my kids pay rent, not at 16 anyway.
Respect goes both ways, if you want it...you have to give it too.

I am getting ready to turn 34, and I have had a traumatic past. I was raped by a cousin from the age of 10 to 14. I was also gang raped by his friends. On top of that, I have been abused by several other people, which has stuck with me. I have nightmares, panic attacks, and am all around terrified to be around all people. I have 2 kids, and don't want them to suffer because I am not well.

He's 20. We love each other. I am the mother of four- ranging in age from 14-28. I realize that, if this man and I are to have a serious relationship, I need to consider the fact that he wants children and deserves to be a father. But from what I've heard it's nearly IMPOSSIBLE for women my age to get pregnant and/or carry a healthy baby to term.

I also have a problem with alcohol, Rian. I have drank every day for 13 years, except two years when I was pregnant and breast feeding. I cannot tell anyone out of fear. Most days I cope, but I have had too many days where I break down or completely black out. I feel tense and anxious without it though. I feel I cannot be around people without it. I feel that it's just become so much a part of me, even though I know my liver is suffering. I keep telling myself that I will get the courage to stop. I wish that I could tell my family, but I'm just too afraid of abandonment. I feel like I need help, but I also feel I should be helping myself. I feel like I'm taking the easy way out. But the anxiety and tension that comes when I don't drink makes me into a person that no one would want to be around anyway.

I have this severe alcohol addiction.. Its so hard for me to admit that. It is ruining my life, i lie to my best friend to get money for alcohol i cant even have a good relationship with the person i love.. i have tried programs and nothing works and i am scared that i will just drink my life away i dont know what to do...

Dr. Keith Ablow, I watched your show and i was impressed on how good it was. It's not like any other talk show. I really like watching you and i am glad someone in your field of work has created a talk show. The reason i say this is because i a bi-polar and i have to see a shrink (as society calls you people) on a regular basis and i know its whats best for my disease and for me to treat it. However, with society, they instantly think i am crazy because i have to see people like you for my disease and because of society, people instantly think i am this crazy person who can't be around kids or do anything that normal people can. It's all because of those people in society who do crazy things and then blame it on diseases such as bi-polar, it makes it look worse for the rest of us. Maybe having someone like you doing a talk show in the manner you are, will help change some views of the way people think and bring things to light for everyone. Thanks, Mel

Jeanette, I'm crying for you too. Crying for the little girl inside of you that probably needs a hug from her Mom, and for your Mom that probably needed that same hug from her Mom. I cry for the pain passed on unintentionally from generation to generation. I cry for the innocent little children inside each and every one of us.

God Bless!

Kess

I am 19 years old and I am writing to you because i need your help. I am a young mother and wife in a marriage that is already falling apart after one year. I am also having alot of problems trying to figure out how I am going to still achieve the goals that I set out for myself. When I became pregnant and got married at the age of 18, my whole life seemed to be put on hold. I was always a great student and was accepted into my dream college but wasn't able to go. I'm trying to find a way to balance school with work and my family but its so difficult because my husband and I are struggling financially. During my pregnancy I had preeclampsia and gained almost 100 lbs, which was almost double my original weight, and I still haven't been able to lose all of it after my daughter is almost a year old. The problems that I've had with my parents growing up are also coming back to haunt me now that I'm a new mother. The way my parents chose to raise me was very conflicting with my personality and has ultimately scarred my self esteem and self worth. Now that I am raising a daughter, these views about myself are affecting my parenting skills and I want to help myself become the best mother I can for my daughter. Plain and simple, I just don't feel like my old self who was thin, goal-oriented happy and structured. I have gotten to a point where my marriage, my ability to do the things I always wished to do, and my life have all become disoriented. i realize that these problems I'm facing are not going to be fixed with the push of a button. I only want to try to help make my life and my outlook better. I have watched your work on television and read about you and I think your perspective on life is wonderful. I would love if you would have me on your show and talk to me about some ways I could help myself and my situations. Thank you.

Dr. Keith:

I am watching your show about Mark Karr and am wondering why I have not heard the word narcissism.

He rejection early in life, his being a loner and, controlling behavior are classic narcissistic behavior traits.

Earl

hi dr.keith!
my boyfriend and i recently attended your show and i must say we LOVED IT!. I dragged him to the show telling him that dr.keith was really big on forensics and that he was going to figure out some kind of murder mystery. I really wanted him to come with me so thats how i got him to come without thinking he was attending a therapy session on love and relationships. He actually mentioned getting more tickets and attending another show because he was so interested in the topic. WE LOVE YOUR SHOW ALREADY! (and its been on for a whopping 2 days?!) keep up the good work!
regards,
jaime

Dr. Keith, I want to know what is going on in my head. I cry every day. I am 69 years old and childhood memories are filling my mind and keep me crying. Could it be sibling rivalry? As a youngster I wanted to be a veterinarian. I could hardly wait to get into high school where I heard it was fun and you could choose your own classes. But when I started high school, my mother said that I could not be a veterinarian because I was a girl, and girls do not do that, they have to become secretaries. My brother was already in college, yet my mother said I could not go to college because I was a girl; only my brothers would go. Had she said there was no money for college, I could have earned it somehow, but it was my sex that kept me from it.

There were classes I wanted to take in high school like Spanish, Agriculture, Science, Interior Decorating. My mother said I could not take those classes because they would do me no good in later life. She made me take business related courses, bookkeeping, typing, general business. She had my schedule planned to include shorthand etc. Because of this, I never met anyone in class that I could relate to, friends, boyfriends or teachers. My mother said I should work as a bank clerk or other clerical job until I met a man and married, then I was to quit my job and become a housewife. I married the first man that came along and dropped out of school at the age of 15.

All my life my mother said I couldn't do things, or go places I wanted because I was a girl. My two brothers could go or do what they desired. I was asked by my father why I wasn't more like the girls next door? (I was a tomboy.)

My mother became physically abusive to me and to this day I don't know what I did to cause her to flare up. She threw dishes at me, hitting my chin and cutting it. Once she knocked me down, jumped on top of me and pinched me all over my body.

We moved quite frequently and I never made friends that I could keep. I was in the fifth grade before I stayed one year in the same school. Until then I changed schools two and three times a year. I was shy and could not relate to most people.

When shopping, my mother would see someone she knew and say to me, "lets go this way so they don't see us," or "Daddy is talking to someone, lets hope they don't see us". When sales persons came to the door as they did back in the 40s, she would say, "get down on the floor and pretend we aren't here, then they'll go away". I think this is why all my life I have avoided people, can't talk easily to people, and find it hard to make friends.

Well, to make a long story short, I had 8 children and raised them all. Recently my older brother has returned to our home state since his wife died of cancer. He is very rich and educated and I know my lowly home is not good enough. He takes trips to Europe on a whim, but I stay home and cry.

My younger brother is the opposite. I don't know if he was abused by my mother or not, but he did not attend college even though he won a scholorship. He married and had children then divorced. He left the country, returning now and then for a visit. Now he now resides on an island away from all modern civilization. I wish I could do that.

Although I had regrets of not going to college and becoming a veterinarian, I did not start crying about it until my older brother returned to our home state. Now those old memories haunt me daily. Is this sibling rivalry, or it is a passing depression?

I am watching your first show and just saw the young couple. PTSD undiagnosed is awful - I know. My husband was in Viet Nam and went back into the service later on and was in Desert Storm. He was diagnosed with clinical depression, manic depression, depression and finally found the right counselor and our marriage and our lives have been good ever since. It's been about 5 years - he is a changes man. I thought it was me too causing his problems and moods for the longest time.

I hope you follow up with this young man (and woman because I know the effects PTSD can have on the spouse and children).

Thank you,
Gerri

I have been married for 12 years and we have an 11 year old son. My husband and I come from very dysfunctional backgrounds and promised each other we would stop the cycle and provide a better life for our son.
We had a great start for many years, but now find ourselves fighting all the time and I want a divorce. I cannot live with this man anymore.He works hard nad is very kind, but his lack of opening up emotionally coupled with my need to torture every man I ever met is not exactly a winning combination.
I feel as if I am slipping back into the life I had before which was not worth living. Our son is suffering as a result and no matter how hard we try, it fails over and over again. We are in such despair and our son is displaying some of the same signs of lying and stealing at any cost as I did as a child. I cannot face another day of letting him down as my parents did me.

I have never seen a show on getting involved with a Narcissist personality. He was charming and hooked me in. I was 56. Soon after the "I do" his persona completely changed. It was a roller coaster ride of emotional turmoil. I searched the internet for personality disorders, but none seen to fit until I found the Narcissit. Then all the pieces of the puzzle fit. After 7 years I left and we are in divorce.
Why is this disorder never discussed?

Hello! I would like to say thank you to the young couple that was on today's show. He is a BRAVE young man. It is a shame that nobody really understands his feelings and why he feels the way he does. I am in a military family. I understand. To his wife...be strong. Things will get better. I promise. You two have a beautiful little girl who doesn't understand what exactly happened with her daddy. She may never know, but you both need to be strong together. My advice..for what it is worth to you...Don't force the issue when talking about Iraq. My family rarely talks about it. EVEN WITH EACHOTHER. It is not something that soldiers are proud of. However we are proud of ALL of you! God Bless you both and good luck to you and your family! Hannah

I just watched a preview for your show, and am very interested to watch it on a regular basis.
I would never be allowed to travel to face my issues on your show. However if I could, I'd wonder why I remain in my relationship. I care for my boyfriend,(the only man I have been in a relationship for a year, a record.) However, he drives me crazy. There's so much stress to do everything right. He lashes out sometimes, though he's never hit me. There's too much going on to be typing it all out. We are sexual active for 5 min. every 2 months if that. Not what I would call a normal sex life.
In the past I have abused drugs, ever since I was 14, I am now 27. I no longer do drugs because of my Parole, and my two cats that I adore. He thinks it's because of him.

K Davis, hope you find a special guy that treats you with care and love. There are many out there. Keep your heart open, and put out the good vibe....and pray that you attract the goodness back. Continue to love yourself....as that is the first step. There's many of us out there that don't know how to do that, and so find it hard to let anyone else love us. But I wish you luck! You must be excited....like starting a new phase in your life. Enjoy it!

Kess

Dr Ablow All the best for your new show!

Your first show today, Dr. Keith. Good luck to you! I wish you many many more....and all the success and happiness in the world!!!!

Kess

Hi Dr. Keith. Just a comment. I am not too familiar with you but I've seen the commercials on TV for the new show. From some of the comments here already, it seems like you've already got a following. The show should do well, and I hope it does. It would be cool if you could get Tom Cruise to come on your show for a debate. I would love to see someone with your expertise run circles around that brainwashed, dyslexic high-school dropout who thinks he's such a know-it-all. (But of course I don't think that would ever happen, he probably wouldn't have the guts. He should stick to debating the Matt Lauer, "I can see you've done your homework, Mr Cruise"-types.) Anyway, the next best thing would be a show about Scientology with some ex members as guests or possibly just a show about cults in general. My issue: I stated going to CoS "courses" in my early 20's but started to get turned off by the ever increasing amounts of money they wanted for the courses and by the "hard-sell" approach. I stopped going but they kept calling to get me to go back - eventually the calls stopped, but the whole experience just felt creepy. I really feel for the people who get "sucked in" to this racket, called a "ruthless global scam" by journalist Richard Behar in a Time Magazine cover story (May 6, 1991). To have Tom Cruise and his Hollywood/Scientology buddies out there is irresponsible and dangerous as, while there are those who might consider him a wacko, there are still those who might look up to him and buy into what he's selling. We need more people in the media to counter with the truth. Thanks.

I am in a relationship with a wonderful man, but I can't seem to separate him from my past bad relationships. How do I forget about the bad things, and trust that he isn’t going to do the same things?

I am at a crossroads and I need some guidance. I hope Dr. Keith can help. I have tried unsuccessfully with a therapist whom was more messed up than me come to find out, I have lost hope in that profession. So here it is: I’m 46 years old woman plagued by abuse my whole childhood. On my own I have tried to help myself by reading and educating myself to move pass abuse and fine a life I could be comfortable with. I am happy for the most part but I have missed out on a marriage and children. Out of fear, fear of what, MEN
I grew up with an abusive
father who did not molest me or touch me physically
but worst mentally abuse me.
He made me afraid of boys
He always said boys were dirty and bad. I never dated
and never had any boyfriends. When I was 18
I had a relationship with a woman yet again very abusive
and violent...I never thought of myself as gay ever it just happened... then it happened again with
another woman and we had a relationship for five years
until she decided to have an affair with someone else and dump me when I was 26... I have been single
absolute in everyway single
No nothing!!! For twenty years... I have found just recently about four years ago that I want to be in love and I do like men...
They are very interesting creatures and they are good people. I recently have gone online to search for love and companionship, my dilemma is this: what do I do? I know this sounds crazy and you are shaking your head, but I am serious
I have never been with a man
never had a relationship with a man, one on one. To tell you the truth I am scare to death... The movie Forty-year-old virgin comes to mind yikes! Loll! I am looking for words of kindness and compassion that
is why I am writing. I just need some good advice on how to get started. Believe
me the guy who falls for me
will be very happy with me... I would date me.

Dear Dr. Keith: My daughter from my first marriage and I have had a "rocky" relationship since she was a young child, thanks to her mother planting thoughts in her head that were either untrue (I am being polite by not calling her a bold faced liar) or embellished from the truth.
This "saga" starts in October of 2004. We received a frantic call from my daughter (I get one of those every two years similar to locust) and she was arrested for possession of drugs with intent to distribute. I personally wanted to stay out of it as every time dad comes to the rescue, dad usually winds up holding the bag! But my wife now of 25 years insisted I help her. (My wife is really a good, kind and considerate mother who firmly believes you should always be there for your kids). So, she insisted that I call up my NJ attorney friends and bail her out of this situation, which I reluctantly did. And the price tag was 5 grand (normally $7500 but as a favor to me he would do it for $5000. I relayed this to my daughter Elizabeth, at which time she told me she had no money. Now I agreed to help by getting the lawyer, but I never agreed to assist with paying him too. But now I had no choice as the lawyer was a good, long standing friend of mine. So I agreed to pay something towards it, but she had to contribute and so did HER mother. And as you can probably assume, that NEVER happened.
She also stated that she wanted to go into rehab to make it look good to the courts and could we take Cassondra (my granddaughter) while she was in there. That I had absolutely no problem with as she and my wife got along really great(and she got along even greater with my daughter here from my current marriage) and I was trying my best to improve my relationship with her as it was OK over the years, but not really fabulous which is what I wanted for us both. Well, it was only supposed to me for a month or two that Casey was going to be with us. It turned out to be a lot longer than that as it took Beth over a month to finally get into rehab. I heard excuse after excuse as to what the hold up was. But then, alas, she finally got in. We talked to her each and every day from the rehab center. Then all of a sudden, after about two weeks, the calls stopped. I then called the rehab place and inquired about her but they refused to tell me anything because of confidentiality reasons. A week went by and still nothing from Beth. And my gut was telling me that she was no longer even there. (She was supposed to be there for a month or more). So I had asked someone to do me a favor and "stake out" her home and let me know if she is going in or out of it. And "sure enough honey child, she was!" By this point two weeks had elapsed since she left the rehab voluntarily and she hass also had no communications with HER OWN child, who we were caring for (at that point she was 8 years old).
FInally I got ahold of Beth and made her "fess up" as to I knew she was no longer at the rehab. And she stated that she needed to get out to go back to work and earn money. But that she was also TOTALLY cured! In 2 weeks, I think not! Obviously I wasn't at all pleased by this, especially on my granddaughter's behalf.
During this whole time frame my granddaughter and I were becoming increasingly close. A lot closer than ever before. I could not have been more happier if I had won the Irish Sweepstakes! Family means a lot to me. It's the only real true asset on my profit and loss statement of my life.
Following all of this Beth also started treating my wife, Bonnie, like crap. Very rude, curt, obnoxious and just plain horrible. Which was wrong on her part as if it weren't for Bonnie I would NOT have got onto my white horse, put on my black mask, and yelled "HI HO SILVER, AND AWAY!" and come to her rescue. So it was really a wrong move on her part.
I told Beth, that because of her actions, the way she was treating Bonnie and her decitfull way of trying to hide the fact that she was no longer in rehab, I could no longer support her and pay any more funds to the attorney. That she has to pay the rest herself. (That went over like a lead baloon, I'll tell ya!)
Several days later I received a certified letter from her stating that my guardianship has been revoked and she wanted Casey sent back immediately. As my guardianship was turned over to me by her and not the courts, I had no choice. But I did tell her that then she had to pay for the plane ride home and I was under no obligation. So she booked the flight back to NJ and booked it from ORLANDO!! Orlando is a 2 1/2 hour drive from me at least, when Tampa is less than 1 hour and Sarasota/Bradenton was about 10 minutes. I called her up and refused. She stated that I had to or she would have me arrested. I told her that that was fine with me as they couldn 't force me to drive 2 1/2 hours one way, especially with a bad back as I have, when there were closer options of which SHE knew about. As always I have flown either Beth & Casey, or Casey by herself into and out of Tampa..
Also it should be noted that right prior to this Casey's father came out here to visit her and I allowed him to stay here so itr wouldn't cost him anything and as I also had no beef with him either.
So, we were at a stand still at this point. Kinda like a chess match with neither player making a move.
That is until the night of February 27, 2005.
Al (her father) and Casey were alseep in Casey's room. Bonnie and I were watching TV. It was about 11:30, or 11:45. Bonnie was half asleep and I was wide awake. A commercial was on the TV and I thought I heard a door bell ring. I stated that to Bonnie and she said "Your hearing things again, it's only the TV". So I assumed she was right, as she usually is. But then I heard it again, and it was persistent this time. And this time Bonnie agreed with my impression, that it in fact was the doorbell. She looked at her watch and it was 11:45 PM.
I went to the door, with her trailing behind me, and asked who was there. The screaching voice from the other side of the door stated "I WANT MY CHILD AND I WANT HER NOW!!" Well, I wet myself on that one!
I opened the door and she stepped in, I IMMEDIATELY told her to get on the other side of it and out of my home. And she did oblige. And I also told her that I would turn over the child with no problem but she was asleep and had to be woken. And then closed the door.
She then started banging on all my windows, to the point of alomst breaking them, and shouting loudly too boot! I woke up Casey and Al, told them, and escorted Casey to the door with Al. I opened the door and Beth swooped in and grabbed her so hard that she damn near dislocated her shoulder. But alas, she now had her child. In the meantime she also called 911 and reported me for kidnapping!
After about an hours worth or arguing back and forth with the police, who really didn't want to be involved anyways, they left. Al, left the mext afternoon with Casey's belongings in the back of his pick up truck that he drove down here with. And Bonnie and I feel, and always have felt, that he was in on this the whole time given his timing when he wanted to come and visit her. It was too much of a coincidence.
Since that horrible night we have had no contact.
Dr. Keith, it is important to me to have a relationship with ALL my kids. I grew up without any parents at all as they both died when I was very young. So it is meaningful to me to know my kids and have them know me. But on the flip side, I won't take abuse to have that privilige.
BUT more importantly, I want a relationship with my granddaughter very badly. She is a real great and sweet kid. If Beth hates me all these years because of what dumb ideas her mother put into her head, so be it. I can't change that no matter how hard I try. But my granddaughter is another story. There hasn't been a day gone by these past two years when I haven't thought about her.
Beth even went so far as to change both her phone numbers and also tell Casey she is not allowed to call us grandpa or grandma any longer!
Dr. Keith, can you help us out on this nightmare before it's too late, and either my wife or I are no longer around?
Thank you,
Michael

Hi Dr. Ablow,
I recently got married last year to this guy who was controlling. Well after a few months I found that he was too controlling. I tried to end it but it didn't work. Finally he kept blaming me for cheating on him and stuff like that. Finally, I got the nerve to leave him and I stay with a friend for about a week then moved back with my parents. At home I got online and tried to make online friends. Well I made this friend that is so close to me now. In my and this friends relationship, we both are agreeing to meet up sometime we are both are ready to meet up. I don’t know how to tell my parents that I meet this friend online and that we both ready to meet up and to see how it goes from there but one thing this online I have is a guy I know how guys are online but I know that he isn't like that. So how would I tell my parents?

I have been battling TRD for years and have lost everything. I have appealed twice for SSA disability benefits and the process is taking in excess of two years. No human service agency assistance programs are available to individuals who are not currently approved for SSA disability - that makes no sense. There is a new treatment, VNS, for TRD but it is not available to the millions of people who suffer because neither Medicare nor private insurance will pay for it. I have worked steadily since the age of 16 and now at 52 I am completely disabled by depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, and acute anxiety yet there appears to be no assistance available to me. If SSA doesn't hold a hearing soon and approve my application for disability I will have no choice but to join the ranks of homeless individuals. The current disability I am receiving from my former employer expires in January 2007 and I have been waiting for SSA for almost two (yes, 2) years. I find that appalling.

Dear Dr. Ablow, I have BPD Type I. I have been on medications for the past four years and we are still searching for the best one. I have had ECT. I have two young children, boy (6) & girl (5), and a very understanding husband who would love it if you could find our family some help. Thank you in advance! Sincerely, Kim LeBrun

Dear Dr. Ablow,
I'm hoping you can help some friends of mine.
On 2/9/06, my friend, Stephanie, killed herself. She was most likely suffering from Post Partum Depression. At the time, her youngest child was only a couple of months old. She left behind her husband, Rob, and their five children (ages 10, 6, 4, 2, infant).

Since Stephanie's death, the family has been struggling in a million different ways. I'm hoping you can help Rob and his children with counseling. I'm sure they need it now as well as in the future.

Please help this family.
Thank you,
Valerie

Dear Dr. Ablow,

I could have fit into several of your show catagories. However, I believe that I need help with getting a new physical, emotional, mental and spiritual outlook on life.

I am in desperate need of your assistance. I find that I am very depressed all the time. For a variety of reasons.

I'm 26 years old.
I still live at home with my family.
I have never had a boyfriend or even a romantic relationship.
I'm obese.
I have several health issues that are only getting worse as a result of this weight.

I'm tired all the time, prehaps that's the depression. Though, I am the strong, silent one that never shows my upset feelings.

I very seriously need your help.

Maybe you can get me to a place where I can fully love myself again and move on with life in a positive direction.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

hello Dr. keith,
i have too many issues i don't know exactly where to start, my life story has many bumps and detours and right now it's not getting any better.i was sexually abused as a child and somehow faked my way to a high self esteem. people who know me think i have a great self esteem but i know better.as a child my parents were divorced and it makes me believe that love doesn't exist. so i have relationships that aren't healthy.i don't even have good relationship with people i live with including my mother. i need some help and don't know how to get it. help me Dr keith.

Dear dr. ablow, i broke up with my boyfriend about 5 months ago. I still am in love with him so much that it's just rediculous. Whenever i know he has interacted with a girl even by talking to them i get so upset i cry for hours. I know that i have a problem because my mom says that all i do is think about him or cry about him to anyone. I need help to get over him and not be jealous of other girls.

My 40 year old son doesn't seem to be able to take care of himself and I am out of money and at my wits end.

Mary, I felt the same way at first. And like you, I find Dr. Keith's work to be absolutely wonderful.....his characters the best! Don't you just love Clevenger! Yum! But, I wish Keith Ablow the best with his show. I feel that good will come from it, and people will be helped. I feel that even more people will listen to the doc....which is all good.

Kess

Would like to be your family friend and prayer partner.Rev C A and Florence Opurong

Dear Dr. Keith,

How are you? I am 36 and I have two beautiful daughters.
I am writing because I was married at a young age and have had bad relationships since I was 15. I don't like
men and enjoy being single. I
am happier by myself and more creative. When I am in a relationship I feel smothered
and need my space. I want to have male frienships but not be committed to a man because
I feel traumatized by them. I do not understand them or trust them. I am not a man basher but I have a hard time
dealing with them. They annoy me. How can I understand the male species better?

Peace and Blessings, Passion

I just heard on the tv as I was working on my computer that you were going to have a talk show...yet another one!!!!!! Your books have been among my favorites, your characters the most true to life,understandable, wonderfully flawed human beings I feel I have gotten to know. Why, oh why put yourself among all the others????? i'm so disappointed

Dr. Keith,
Why do men always tell me that I'm a beautiful person and that they want to marry me, but when it comes down to it, they never do. It's always one excuse after another, and why do I always stay? What is wrong with me?!! If I'm that beautiful and I'm all that to them why won't someone make a commitment to me? I must be the most naive person in the world... because I'm naturally a very caring, forgiving, and loving person...and I usually fall hard...
What should I start doing differently??

Dr. Ablow or anyone that will listen,

I got into meth when I was 15 and followed with heavy drinking. The last four years of my life have been a series of unrealistic highs and manic depressive lows lasting for what seemed forever.

Everyone I knew did it, cooked it or sold it. I always felt I had no way out I could never escape it for I was really just trying to run from myself. That very first hit I was hooked and only wanting more, wanting to get higher but I never could. The summer when I was 15 was spent in different random hotel rooms, anyone we could find that we were allowed at or they didn't know who we were. I always waited for the cops to come they always found us no mater where we went. They would bust in the door throw us on the floor or against the walls and rip the room apart looking for dope or anything to take us to jail for.

My mom was out of her mind between me and my sister getting her wake up call from police stations at all hours of the night. She always was waiting and fearing for them to tell her they found my body somewhere. My lowest was that summer I was up for about a week without sleep and hardly eating more than a french fry a day if I could force that down. I looked like a zombie, I looked like death and all I wanted to do was get high. I can't imaging the damage I have done to myself. When I was up this long I was seeing things sevierly one night so bad I thought all my friends where trying to kill me, I thought I was gonna die. I feared my life I was so out of my mind no one could talk sense into me. No mater how many times this happened or how sick I would get i never stopped.

I never even really thought about stopping until Brandon another addict I ended up getting into a relationship with when I was 16 and he was 27. One night while high he got upset over nothing and beat me until I could hardly walk my legs were so bruised up. That's just one of the nights I put myself in a situation where I really felt I could die and know one would know. He tried to kill me a few times to the point he said he would kill me and my family if I ever left him. So I stayed for the longest months of my life in fear he would hurt someone. One night in a hotel room we got into a fight that ended in him getting his glass pipe scolding hot with a blow touch and putting it to my face. I remember crying trying to call my mom and hitting me in the head with the phone. I finally got out and got a restraining order that didn't make me feel any safer tho.

After that I was still getting high and had one useless addict boyfriend after another. The last time we got raided was 3 days before my 17th bday and I was the only one that didn't go to jail because I wasn't 17 yet. I would of went for a long time with all the dope we had in that room. I stopped everything after that night I was done I thought I don't want to go to prison and I was clean up until I met Scott a recovering addict who I thought wanted the same things as me boy was i wrong I got myself on another rollercoaster. Someone brought dope over one night and he gave in then begged me till I gave in. Their I was living each day just to get high again, letting it control my life. Are relationship was a mess he would take off and not call for week out getting high and I would sit at home and wait for his brother to call and tell me he was in jail. I did that for a year. We would break up then get back together. One night I was sure he was out cheating on me . So I called up and old friend and went over to get high. I had been clean for about 6 months this time. I really loved him and I was just broken, I didn't care anymore about me or anyone else. I sat their and did more and more I couldn't get high no matter how much I did. I watched all of them get so high from shooting and I said screw it I wanna get high and I shoot up for the first time six times one after another that night and it felt so good to just be numb from emotions to not think at all. I just sat their with that mortality of a 2 year old all night.

The next day I never felt so ashamed of myself so worthless doing something I always thought was so wrong. I finally thought I was an addict, I realized I have a problem and if I don't do something I am gonna die or go to prison. I didn't get help then tho. Scott and me broke up and I spent weeks planing out how I was gonna kill myself. when I went to see my therapist I broke down and told her everything. I was sent to a a crisis ward and was kept for a few days. I found out so much about myself while I was in their emotional along with finding out I have bipolar disorder, OCD, extreme anxiety and a million other things.

I was happy again and i wanted to change my life. As soon as i got out I checked myself into a drug program and went everyday I felt good about myself for going and everything was going great until I talked to Scott one night that somehow I have no ideal got us back together. I dropped out of my classes and got high. I felt like I threw everything away, like I keep working just so I can mess it up again. I would ask my self why I keep doing this but I never had a answer. Scott decided he was gonna take off to california I guess he will never change. It was probably the best thing for me. I never went back to my classes but I have been clean seven months and I am happy. My sister on the other hand is back in prison along with all my friends.

Now that I am clean I want to have a life more than anything. I left school in my 9th grade year due to my extreme anxiety and just never being able to fit in anywhere. I don't have a job , I don't know how to drive and I live with my mother.

Worst of all my therapist is no longer going to see me because she says she can't help me. I cry all the time and I hate who I am. I think about just killing myself all the time. I am on two meds but they don't seem to be helping at all. I have insomnia and if I don't sleep I think people are trying to kill me or the house is on fire. I just don't know what to do and no one can help me. One of these days I think I am just going to kill myself.

Your TV ad came across and said, if the sex is great, thats the person to be with. The person I have the best sex with is someone I broke it off with. Now I'm confused and can't stop thinking about him. Help!

hi.. my name is cortney and i am 15...i have deppression.. i take a pill called efexor..and its very strong..and when i dont take it.. i get kinda physco.. befor i cut myself b/c i beleived i wasnt good enough to be here..and i still have those thoughts.. and i do usally only get these thoughts when i do not take my pill.. but i dont want to take it.. idk..hard to explain..than my dad and mom are devoriced and lets just say my dad is .. not the best dad u could ask for...my mom... she was cool for a while intill she got a new boyfriend and drinks more.. and just the other day she was drinking with him and told me to go live with my dad....?idk... i need someone to talk to

Hi Dr. Keith Ablow,

My name is Sean. I am 17 years old and I am going through some tough times; with family, friends, and myself. I was sitting on the couch watching tv and I saw a preview of your show on Fox 2 and I was just wanting to say thank you for your help with other people. Me watching you help people helped me. Some of the issues you were addressing related to me and help me. Thank you so much. I am now starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Shalom Dr. Ablow. It was interesting to have viewed a preview of your new show today. I read your book, To Wrestle with Demons, shortly after it was published by the APA nearly 15 years ago. In my personal and professional opinions, it is a classic that every psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor, and social worker should read.

Hi Dr. Keith
I just saw the commercial for your upcoming program, I think it will be a wonderful show, finally something worth watching!
I have an issue I can't seem to deal with.
I was in a car accident(Oct. 17,2005). I have been dealing with surgery's ( two so far ). I am unable to lift even a gallon of milk. Have problems walking, turning, bending, lifting, etc. I have to rely on my husband & children to help me with everything. They have been having a hard time adjusting to my disability ( my children ). My husband has been great! I can't stand the fact that I have to rely on them as much as I do. I really feel that I am going crazy! This is just a short version.
I know some of this is normal, but I really am having a hard time with this!
Do you think you can maybe help?

Thanks for listening. Jenny from Michigan.

Dr. Ablow,
I'm living in a sexless marriage which has become a hopless situation for me. Since my wife became pregnant 6.5 years ago and after raising a child, she has had no interest in sex. We have had sex 4 times in the past 6.5 years. She has only initiated two of those times. I have been rejected so many times, I have lost count. Like they say, sex really isn't all that important until you are not getting any. It's not just the sex itself but the bond between my wife and I that's missing. She does not wish to discuss it and as far as she is concerned, it's my problem, not hers. I'm still so in love with my wife but I am at the point where I need to make a decision and I do not know where else to turn.

Please discuss this topic on your show. So many people are going through the same thing as I am. I would love to be on the show to discuss it but I know that my wife would have no part of that. Thank you.

Hello Dr.Keith, I'm a 33y.o. single mother. I had my son at a very young age (15y.o.)My son is now 17y.o. His father & I did not make it. We seaperated before he was born, due to him cheating on me. (And got the other girl pregnant.) When my son was born, we tried to work it out, but failed. I could not live with what he did. As time went on, I tried to move on with my life. I raised my son with the help of my parents. Until, I could do it on my own. I never stopped his father from seeing his son. But he stayed away because I would not marry him, or give my son his last name. As the years went by, I thought that time would heal all wounds. I've had many relationships since then, but all failed one way or another. (They would cheat or use drugs or drink to much.) Why do I keep atracking the wrong guy?These are things I can never live with or allow around me or my son. WE have a very close relationship and we talk about everything. I try to teach my son old family values and how not to treat others. Always be truthful, even if it hurts. I tell him to use life's mistakes as a lesson learned & use it to your advantage. I feel like over the generations people have lost respect for themselves. As time went by I tried to give love another try. My last relationship, lasted around three years. It took a turn for the worst when I injured my knee and could not walk or work. I became really depressed and very emotional. I started to push him away. My boyfriend didn't understand why I changed. He started to spend less time with me & make excuses all the time. It made me even more upset. I confinded in my best friend with what my boyfriend was doing. She said she had something to tell me, but didn't want to upset me even more. Come to find out, he was sleeping with my bestfriends sister. I confronted him and He did not deny it. I told him its over and I never wanted to see him again. All I cound think was not again! Why does this keep happening to me? Once again (I'm single). It took about a month, but I finally had knee surgery & I could walk again. And my life started staighten out again, so I thought. Then I received a phone call from my father. He told me I needed to sit down. He said he never thought he would ever in his life time have to tell me something this bad. My son's father died from a car wreck. Even though I haven't talked to him(son's father) since Christmas. All my past feelings started to rush back again. Oh my god, How am I going to tell my son. I've always tried to protect him from being hurt. But I knew I had to tell him. As soon as I left work, I went straight home to break the news to my son. Out of everything that has happened to me in my life. I think that was the hardest thing I have ever told my son. My heart felt broken.The funeral was set on Thursday,a week before my son's 15th Birthday. At the funeral we cried like a babies. I've been numb ever since. My son And I are trying to deal with it the best we can. But I worry alot. It's been almost two years now. And I've watched my son get angry all the time. Especially around his birthday. I know that it is affecting him so much. It's like he's angry at the world. I'm starting to second guess myself. What should I do? I know we both need to heal. But how? Times have been tough and we don't have the money to get help. Please If You can. Please e-mail me. Sincerly, K.S

dear dr keith
i will start my story from the beging i was brought up in a loving family a good home with all the safty and love a child needs bt that changed wen i was 12 you see my father past away from termianl lung cancer it was hard seeing my father go from the strong brave protecter i new to someone who uld bearly walk wen he past i went on to college there i got caught up in drugs and drinking i got depressed and tied taking my life a number of times my family started falling apart and me and my mumz relationship deterated i had always felt unloved by her and now even more so that my dad wasnt there he was my best friend and we did everything togeather becoz of how i was living and i was only 14 i found myself in realationshp were i was being used for sex my vginty was rob from me it was something i dint want it was forced and even thou i siad no i did want to go through with it he froced it on me so i gave in after that i let guys take advantage of me and was suprised i didnt end up pregant i became more determined i was useless and no one could ever love me i wanted to die so i began cutting i was obssed with the guys i was with bliving i was in love wen i wasnt thankful i found a gud lot of friends who got me out of that life style i began rebuilding my relationshp with my mum and now its a good relationshp i gave up drugs and increased my drinking habit and even stoped cuting however tho my life has been better since i still hate myself i wake up every day not wanting to live im useless and have no motavation i feel unloved and cant even be a goo friend i am a complete bitch and have so much anger in me and the guy who final expected me i pushed him away i treated him badly and now he will bearly even talk to me he has become distant and not himself also recently my 2 childhood friends were in a car crash one of them was killed his twin brother survied which we are trult thankful 4 however since then i lost my best friend becoz she failed to help me through my greif for three weeks she didnt speak to me after it hapened so i told her i didnt want her aaround however she has never been a good riend to me and this just showed me it for sure now i hate who i am and blame myself for everything i cant deal with my grief i still cant come to terms with losing my father and its been 4 years i hate me i hate who i am i dont want to be like this but i dont no how to change this isnt rite for a 16 year old to not want to live i have no motavation at all i just cant bear to be who i am plz help me how could all this happen in 4 years wot happened to the happy lil gurl i just want to be happy and to be able to live my life and no ruin everything like i always do plz help me dr keith i dont no wot else to do yours liana gillingham

Dear, Dr. Phil:

I desperately need your help.
My children are being abused in foster care
the were stole from me in April of this year by the Wright Co CPS.

They have lied and falsified documents refused to put them with capable and willing members of our family and for the first 2 months kept us from having any contact. CPS has discriminated against me because of my disability and labeled my children as orphaned.

Fact I have proof of:
• The judge in this case says that he has no say in it, my public defender is worthless and will not even let me speak in the court room.

• On a 1 hour visit on July 28 my 2 1/2 year old little girl had a black eye and buses all over her body, soars in her mouth and she tells me that the foster father did it child protection was watching this through a double sided mirror. After the visit they tell me that they are going to look in to it . It was the hardest thing I had ever had to do send my baby back after she told me this man hurt her but I was forced! Well looking into it was in no way going to pacify me so when I got home that day I called the police and filed a report a officer went to the foster home and "found nothing wrong" He couldn't of seen my daughters face then.
• On July 31st my lawyer called a emergency hearing and on the 2nd we went to court and I learned that AareOna had sustained another black eye over the weekend and a sprained femur bone in her leg. There was a trip to the er and a doctors mandated report to CP of possible abuse. a 2 page letter from the guardian expressing her concern about the children being abused yet the judge gave CP 2 weeks to find another placement and my home and my caring was much safer for her then sending her back to that place.
• Again we went to court on the 16th which is there 2 week point and CPS is trying to get the judge to give an order for protection to protect my case file from me seeing it I am thinking this is ludicrous my daughter has multiple injuries claiming the foster father did this to her. and they are trying to protect my file? What is really going on here.
• They also asked the judge until Friday the 18th to move them the judge granted the request.
• On the 23 Aaerona and my other child Preston who’s 7 were still there because that is when this same foster mom brought her into the ER and they found a large blood clot in her intestines suggesting that she was hit in the stomach with great force my tears are as water from a facet as I write this on the 25th they performed surgery and it was factual now that it was abuse and they finally move my son and other foster children out of that home. they let my visit her for about an hour and a half after the surgery and bared me from the hospital yet the social worker is calling all the shots and says that it is in her best interest to be alone and scared and hurt in a hospital for the weekend when it is plain to see the love that we share is strong and sacred but he refuses to open his eyes and see that or his ears as my little girl promises to be good if she could just go home with mommy and saying over and over don’t leave mommy I am so scared when you go. How does this happen in America how does this happen to an innocent child she has done nothing to CPS and neither have I why do they hate us so?

Please Dr. Phil if some one does not intervene on our behalf I will be judged to sick to have the right to see them or to love them I am so afraid of not seeing there sweet little faces of not being there for all those things they need me near for. I am 2 years into recovery. I am a addict in recovery not a child abuser or a sexual predator I had a problem I got help I got better and I am still doing it clean and sober and this separation from my children only causes hard ship and threat to my recovery and defiantly every day that passes is a emotional hell on my children! Dimming there light inside I can see it dimming please help us with out these 2 kids in my life it won’t be worth living!

This is all just a small piece of the nightmare, there is so much more!

Please don’t wait until my children are another statistic we desperately need you today now!

Sincerely,

Angeline Ottinger
25420 166th st.
Big Lake, MN
763-856-6180

Dr. Ablow...just wanted to say thank you for writing your books, I really enjoy reading them. Now don't get too wrapped up in the tv show and stop writing. Take Care, j

Dr. Keith, I am a 45 year old woman and I cannot figure out why I cannot keep a man in my life. In all of my life I had one long term relationship. I don't have a problem attracting men, just keeping them beyond 4 months. I find it hard to trust ANYONE, male or female. I have very few friends. I feel there is something wihtin me that impedes my relationship with others. Could it be the childhood molestation. Not of a major kind, but a store clerk for whom I trusted to get my cookies and candies as a kid (age 9), took me to the back of his store and felt on me from breast to privates. I was humiliated and I never told anyone in my family, I just hide outside the store everytime they would go there. Or could it be because of those boys who always found it necessary to grab my breast and behind during my high school years. After that I start to get a hardness about me to make myself less appealing to guys. Now I don't know how to turn that off. I feel that my life is over and I haven't lived yet. Please help.

Miss Kay
Washington, DC

I need help. I fear men and keep myself heavy to avoid them. I was raped 3 times. The first time happened on my very first date ever. I also fear success. I've been putting off writing my novels because of that. Every time I've succeeded, either I or someone else got hurt.

Adding on to what Mrs. Crabtree shared, I think it would also be valuable to address the issues of parental rights/responsibilities as related to adult children with developmental disabilities or mental illness. I am a therapist in an adolescent residential treatment center and parents are constantly asking what they can and cannot do to protect their children from making bad decisions once they reach 18. On the flipside are parents in situations like the one described where they are the ones in need of protection from their children.

And Dr. Ablow, please don't stop writing your fiction novels!! I've introduced your work to some friends and my roommate got a total stranger's attention in a bookstore when we were awaiting the paperback release of The Architecht. Saw the woman later with one of your books in her hands!

i also have low selfe isteam to help me with that

hi i am adam and i am 23years old.i have had cancer in my blader when i was 3 .i want people to like me for me and i cant get a grial friend becouse of it and i look like i am 17 .i just wanted to say that i dont know .not many young people have or had my kind of cancer it is in alot of older people .it is hard to talk to people bout it .just e-mail me back if u have anything to say

Hey Doc,
I'm a musician & Dad and Husband with a blended family. My wife and I are having some real struggles with my Son. (Not her son. My son.)
My son "Dustin" has a Non-Verbal Learning Disorder. And my wife has a lot of difficulties dealing with Dustin. Dustin resents her, and they are always in constant conflict in our home.

I adopted Dustin as my son when I was married to my first bride. (Thought she would be my only bride. But, you know how that goes sometimes.) Well, my adopted son Dustin has always looked at his adopted Mom (Connie, my first wife) as his mother. And Dustin does not get along with my current wife "Bobbi". He (Dustin) has suffered from a lot of abandonment issues in his life. And I don't want him to suffer from this anymore.

I have 3 grown biological sons and my wife has 3 biological daughters who are grown up & on there own. So, Dustin (age 15) is the only child left in our home. But, the battles between Dustin & my wife Bobbi seem to never end. Man, I just want peace in our home. Love & exceptance would be good. But, the battle rages on between these two.
Anything you could offer would really be welcomed.

Andy Harris
1606 E. 5th. St.
Coal Valley, Illinois 61240
309-235-5962

Dear Dr. Keith: I am bipolar and live in Florida. Why is it that so many psychiatrists truly are nothing more than pill pushers? Why are doctors so not interested.? I once questioned the noncare I was getting from a psychiatrist in a hospital and he actually said "I'm not in the caring business, that's for the social workers." (What is being passed off as "treatment" even for the mentally ill in so called "hospitals" is nothing more than medicating and containing. Finger painting, coloring, going on smoke breaks, and then sending you a huge bill will not "stabilize" your "crisis"). I was once at the Menninger Clinic where the doctors did care. I know help is so possible. Why are so few doctors living up to standards that are proven to be effective such as talking? Just zapping your neuotransmitters doesn't cut it. Aren't we more than our brains? I am glad you are a psychiatrist and you see it as your role to help the whole person by adressing their unique issues. Beat of all, you'll be on tv and hopefully people will come to expect more from psychiatry.

Dr. Ablow,

Could you please do a program regarding parental rights regarding adult children who live or are moving out of the parents home? Here's why.

Sept. 19th, 2005 I was held hostage for 2 1/2 hours by 14 police officers within my home. My daughter, who has emotional problems and was in a psychotic episode, had moved out the day before. She'd packed and had given us her keys. She broke into the house letting one of her friends through the garage door. Realizing she was still in a pyschotic frame of mind I phoned 911 as I didn't want to be assaulted again by her. She'd told the police we wouldn't let her have her things which, was a lie.

The officers constantly informed me, "...You're not a parent - You're a landlord....A person does not have to pay rent. They simply have to establish residency of 30 days, and, your daughter has lived here since she was 10 years old..." When I tried telling them over and over again that she'd moved out and didn't live here I was informed, "You're lieing...We're not listening to you...She has rights that you're violating and we can take you to jail right now..." When I requested supervising what was being taiken from the home because my daughter steals from me I was informed, "No. You have to stay in here (living room)....She's only going to take things from her room..." When I inquired about who was supervising my daughter I was informed, "It's none of your business. You've broken the law. You cannot deny her - her personal belongings. She's a tenant and you're her landlord." When I tried to leave the room to get papers proving my daughter was ill every officers stepped forward towards me and put their hands further down on their guns which, by the way, they'd been holding their hands on their guns from the moment they entered my house.

2 1/2 hours later with two officers remaining in my home an ambulance was called as I began having difficulty breathing. The paramedics wanted to know what had happened because, "...She's (meaning me) been highly taumatized."

Within 15 minutes of the ambulances arrival my husband returned home from work. As the two officers remaining asked about our daughter the female officer turned pale stating, "If we had of known she'd given you the keys yesterday we would have handled all this differently." I pointed out that I had tried telling them but they just responded with, "We're not listening to you." She was also embarassed to learn that, as I'd predicted, my daughter had taken things from other rooms of the house.

I spoke to over eight attorneys here in San Francisco. Each one informed me, "You weren't shot. You weren't bruised, and, you're not dead. There's nothing I can do to help you. It's 14 of them against your word and they'll ban together."

Dr. Ablow, I lost four months of my life that I can barely remember. My primary doctor and my therapist have been wonderful about helping me. I'm still recouperating from the emotional rape.

I will NEVER call on the police again. I'd rather die than have them enter into my home and put me through the trauma all over again even if it's a different person breaking into my home.

When did parents stop being parents and become landlords? Why is it that we, as parents, have no rights within our own homes? When do our children, who pay nothing because they're still financially dependent on mom and dad, become tenants?Why is it that the very people who are supposed to protect us don't? Why is it that the police can emotionally rape someone and get away with it? Don't attorney's understand that by telling a victim there is no legal assistance for them to bring charges against police officers that they're only helping to traumatize a victim again?

In closing, as I stated, I would like to see a program that helps to educate parents (especially those in California) about what our rights are regarding adult children who, after graduating from H.S. and are still financially dependent on their parents, are. It would be very helpful to know when we stop becoming parents and turn into landlords.

Respectfully,
Marie Crabtree
San Francisco, CA

Dr Keith, I am asking your opinion on something. Do you feel after a couple has an arguement about something,either one has the right to either not come home over night, or leave the house and stay out over night? I told my new husband I felt neither one of us had the right to stay away over night after an arguement. What do you feel about this?

I am a 20 year old female with a 2 year old son. I am still living at home with my mom, and am having many issues, which seem to prevent me from moving on with my life. I dont have a license, a job, and am not going to school. I dropped out of high school right before I got pregnant, and just recently got my GED. I have depression and anxiety problems that I am being treated for, which my mom does not seem to fully understand. She tends to tell me what I should be doing with my son. I know she is just trying to 'help', but she puts me down terribly when she thinks that I should do things the way she would. I appreciate and could not have made it without her help, but sometimes I just wish she would back off, at least when it comes to the way im raising him. I feel like im stuck in a whole and cannot find the motivation to climb out of it. I have no motivation, but its something that I cant seem to help. I love being at home, but would love even more to have my own place, a job and a car on the road. There is much more, but Im not going to go on right now. Thank you for listening.

Dr. Ablow is exactly what people need right now. Someone finally willing to go deep into the hearts of others rather than give them surface "advice."

I am a 23-year old female with bulimia/ eating disorder for the past seven years. i ca't still find the right help for myself. I really want to end this nightmear, i am a reapiratory therapist, navy reservist, and an aspiring doctor. i am a young female with many apirations, but I know I cannot fullfil them with this condition too long.

I'm 18 years old and my parents are divorced. I live with my dad because my mom is verbally and physically abusive. When I was younger I got raped by my uncle and my mom used to always tell me that I wanted it and that I loved him so much. When I was 15 I got pregnant and my mom told me that she wanted to get a DNA test done to see if it was my uncle's. I knew she wasn't but it still hurt that my mom could say these things to me. My mom is also an alcoholic and she is worse when she's drunk. Because of her abuse I live with my dad and little brother, but for some reason my sister wanted to live with my mom. But now my sister and I desperately want to get our mom help. Can you help us help her?

Im 19 years old and i started seeing my boyfriend who is 26 years old. we were dating for a year and 3 months and he has recently broke up with me. He told me that he needs his own space and he wants to be single. I think he is talking to another girl. He told me that he wanted me to start doing things that he wanted to do and not always doing things that i wanted to do. But he never told me that. he got back together with me and then broke up with me the next day after. he told me he got back with me only to make me happy. I got so attached to him and i never loved anyone like this ever before. He tells me that after his break he will come back to me, but i feel like i cant wait forever. I dont know what has gotten into him, and this is not him at all. My heart feels broken and i dont know what to do. i feel like i cant date anyone ever again. He is someone that i thought i was going to marry. we were so in love and he ended just like that.

Dear Dr Keith
I am so glad that i can finally share this with a professional and expect some help.
I live in Plano, Texas with my husband and our 18 month old daughter. We have come from, New Delhi, India on a H1 visa to work in America.
ISSUE I WANT TO DISCUSS: I have been married for 2 years now, i feel that i m not happy with my marriage, because my husband does not believe in talking out the everyday problems we have in life. Although i would like to mention that financially we have no problems, and the problems are emotional.
He is very controlling and thinks that things can be soughted out by just keepig quiet about it and not discussing, i used to argue in the beginning, but now i have given up, since i know that it makes him mad and he starts to get abusive, or starts making comments on irrelevant issues at that point in time. I have been maintaining a diary about it also.
I also suggested that we go and meet a marriage counsellor, but he does not agree as he does not feel the need of it.
I need help making him realise that communication is very imp to solve issues, coz he does not seem to get bothered by the kind of meaningles relationship we have.But I certainly am.

Hi Dr. Ablow: I met my ex-husband in 1985 and we dated until 1992, when we finally married. We were divorced in 2003. From 1985 to 1996 we dealt with what I thought was binge drinking episodes where he would just disappear after work on a Friday and I wouldn't see him until Sunday nite. It didn't happen every weekend, but at least once every 5 or 6 weeks. I tried everything to get him help. He even went as far as going to a therapist for a few weeks but nothing changed. In 1996 I moved out and told him that he had to choose. He promised it would never happen again and so I returned. The disappearing acts stopped and from 1996 to 1999 I really believed we were finally doing great. At this time I brought up having a baby. I was 35 y.o. at the time and figured we were finally stable enough to extend our family. At first he resisted saying he enjoyed our "single" life that enabled us to come and go on a moment's notice. But then he was okay with it. I found out I was pregnant in Dec. 1999. The changes in his personality came very subtly. He seemed a little detached, indifferent, disinterested in our new life. He travelled more on business and began spending more time away from home (i.e., taking community college classes, scuba diving classes and trips, etc.). Anyways our son was born Aug. 2000. He wasn't with me during labor--he chose to go home and get some rest to prepare for the baby's delivery. I hoped he would change his mind and stay, but he didn't. My labor turned out to be very stressful on the baby who spent most of the night with an erratic heartbeat. My ex-husband walked in one hour before our son was born. After delivery we were taken to our respective rooms and my ex-husband left again. He'd come during visiting hours but never stayed with us at the hospital overnite. We were discharged two days later and we agreed I'd go stay with my mom so she could help me with the baby and at the same time I'd be able to rest and heal. He never spent one nite with us during the time we were at my mom's. He'd come over after work around 5pm and leave by 8 or 9pm. He'd come over on the weekends for a few hours. We had discussed he'd take a short family leave to spend time with the baby and help me make the adjustment. He didn't. He said he couldn't swing it at work. By this time my doctor said it was safe to resume having sex. He said he couldn't have sex because he couldn't get the image of my delivery out of his head. Although his behavior, beginning the nite I was in labor 'til now, was very hurtful to me, I just moved on and didn't deal with anything. He started travelling a lot on business around this time which put a huge strain on our marriage. Despite this, we decided to buy a house. We bought a more expensive house and things seemed to be okay at first. Then a few months later everything just changed. He showed signs of jealousy and resentment towards me and my close relationship with our son. He got to the point where he couldn't even stand one word of instruction from me on how to even bathe our son. At this point, I suggested to him that he and our son go out together on Sat. day trips. I wanted them to bond. They'd come home at dinner time and he'd drop the baby off and leave again. Sometimes I'd get angry and say something to him...but mostly I just didn't say anything. He knew I was angry but he'd walk out anyway. By the end of 2002 things were extremely bad around the house. We got to the point where we were sleeping in separate rooms and our son, who was at the stage of waking up in the middle of the nite and sneaking into bed with us, would stand out in the hallway not knowing where to go. It was heartbreaking. One night he got home after 2am and I was waiting for him. I asked him where he'd been and he said he'd been out with his brother at a basketball game and then went to dinner. The first thought I had was that the drinking was back. He looked and acted unusual, but he didn't smell like alcohol. I guess he must've been considering divorce for a while that he took this opportunity to "out" himself and tell me that what I thought was a drinking problem was really a cocaine problem. He knew that I wasn't going to tolerate an alcohol problem around my son, much less a drug problem. Anyway things pretty much went downhill after that. One Sun. morning in March 2003 our son and I had spent the night at my mom's and he had made plans to take our son to the science museum. The phone rings and it's him on the other end and I could barely understand what he was saying because he was slurring his words so badly. He said he'd been called to work and wouldn't be able to pick him up. That's the day I left him. To this day he has not gotten any help for his problem and my mere mention of it to him incites a long barrage of abusive language towards me. After all the years struggling and sacrificing my sanity for him, I have no feelings left for him. However, I fear what kind of effect this will have on our son. I don't discourage our son from being with his dad or loving his dad, but I just know that his dad is a ticking bomb because he refuses to get help. I need your advice on how to talk to my son when he asks about his dad. My son is 6 y.o. now and I know that day is getting closer. Please help.

Sishir,God Loves U...I too have "issues" that need to be dealt with and I will keep u and your family in prayer.

I just saw a TV add for your show, and your comment about telling your daughter to marry the one who was the best in bed, brought back memories. My Mom told me never to marry anyone I hadn,t slept with. You sounded as if you were kidding. Back in the 60's this was a novel idea. I am now 58. I didn't get married until I was 22. Didn't get pregnant till I was 26. Novel idea but it worked. I brought up both of my sons the same way. Both are remarkable young men. If parents were more realistic and honest with their children, there would be less teenage pregnancies, less abortion, healthier children all around.

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

I'm a 38 year old man with a loving wife and a four year old son.

All my life I've been dealing with an incredibly low self esteem and that made me afraid and guilty and ashamed to face people and everyday chores. The way I dealt with was to either avoid social situations (school, college, friends etc)
or anger and isolation (pushing everyone away even by hurting them)
or lie about my own self worth to anybody I come across.

So many times I tried to pick up all my strength and go out and get about my job and my oter responsibilities but only for a short time.
But inevitably I find myself facing the guilt and shame and then lose control and retreat into my own shell.

I've known all along that I cannot deal with it myself and need professional help but
I am originally from India and my society will stigmatize my wife and son for my fault.

Sometimes it gets so bad that all I can think of is to just die. I have on a few occasions tried to kill myself but failed. After marriage and especially since my son was born, even though the urge to end it all becomes very strong on many occasions, I do everything I can to stop it and it takes all my resolve just to resist.

I do not know how I'm going to free myself of this debilitating condition.
PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Dr. Keith,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months and before we met I had slept with his best friend. Thats just putting it very blunt. But anyways this all happened before we had even exchanged a hi. But now my boyfriend is throwing a fit because me and his best friend had business. My boyufriend knew everything before we got together there were no secrets. What should I do?

Hi Dr. Keith,
I have seen the ads for your new show and am looking forward to viewing it. I hope you can help me with a couple of BIG issues in my life.
Last year from the month of December to February I lost three very important people in my life, my brother, my wife of 21 years and my best friend from childhood. Naturally, I have been both in a state of shock and in grief ever since. I did go to a grief support group for a couple of months and it truly helped. But, I have so much guilt inside, especially where my wife was concerned. Her death was an accident but, at times I feel overwhelmed because I still blame myself for her death and I often wonder if I couldn't have done something to have prevented it. And I also have many, many regrets over the mistakes I made during our 21 years of marriage-and now I cannot make any of that up to her. She was an incredible person and I only wish I had the chance to let her know how much she meant to me and how much I miss her now.I said there were two things-but I think this one is the most important. Please any help or advice you could give me I'd appreciate it. Thank you so much. Good luck with your program.
Kenneth Thies

How is it possible for you to have such empathy for people who wish to harm our innocent children? Or in the case of
Mark Karr; sick twisted fantasy.

I know you have stated before that these people were injured
themselves in childhood; but STILL!!!!

I am (13 as of aug. 9) &I believe that you can love someone at any age because no one meets every one in the world so we just meet who we meet & love who we love.Last year my mom started dating a guy named Brian he has 2 kids Jayma (11) who is now my BEST friend & Keith her brother (15 as of aug 27).I love keith & ifeel so safe with him & me him & Jayma tell eachother everything but me & Kieth have a very special relationship alyhough we are not dating we act like it.Kirths cousin was mad at him for making fun of her so she told me that Keith smokes weed.I wasn't sure if it was true but I was pretty sure it wasn't so I talked to my fried Ceira & asked her what I should do she suggested I talk to Keith about it.Well some how my mom found out but she didn't know the story she just hes=ard Keith smoked so she worried told his dad.Brian talked to Keith but didn't belive him now Keith & I are in the middle of this mess!!!I want to talk to my mom about it scince she told Keith I told her he smokes he is not sure what to believe & he is mad thst they didn't believe him.Now he thinks I told them he smokes!Iwant totalk to my mom but I'm afraid that they will just think I'm covering for him & I'll be in troube to.Me & Keith are like Romeo & Juliet & Iwould do anyting for him!!!What do you think I should do DR.Keith? I'M DESPARATE to get htis straightend out & back to normal.

Wishing you every success in your new program. Please take us into the minds of sociopaths a la Scott Peterson----so illuminating. Thank you.

DEAR DR KEITH
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW SHOW. IF YOU WOULD LIKE NEW MATERIAL OR OLD MATERIAL PLEASE CONTACT ME.
BEST WISHES,
JUDGE BUZZ

Looking forward to your show from the commercials i have seen about it. I'd LOVE it if sometime you could discuss living with an alcoholic (who won't admit it and doesn't seem to want to get help) who is also addicted to sex and the verbal and emotional abuse that they inflict on their partner.

Thanks and all the best

Dear Dr. Ablow,
First I would like to tell you how much you are respected for your compassion and dedication to the community.
I have worked at an addiction treatment program for a number of years. The majority of the clients are young black men coming from prison. A very fragile population to say the least. They face unemployment,drug addictions, fractured families and the stigma that sociaty places on them.It is no wonder to me that they turn to religion that allows them to feel hope, comfort and a sense of belonging. My concern is the increase of men that are turning to Islam. Some men refused to speak w/me becase I am a women, some insisted sleeping on the floor, still others had lists of food they could and couldn't eat. This is not alarming in itself, I respect many relgions and their beleifs, but what is alarming is the increase within such an unstable population that already has so many trials to face. They seem to be overwhelmed and very hard on themselves and this particular religion seems to push them even further into isolation. Claiming that they are misunderstood, and even being disrespected.
Dr. Ablow, I would hope with all your expeirence, knowledge, and wisdom will address these young men eager to belong to us once again. They have a place,let them know that religion is good, spiritualism is very good. Talk to them, talk to their families, talk to us.
Thank you
meg

Dear Dr.Keith: I hope you will do a show on Adult Adoptee's in the furture. Iam the (survivor) Not a victum of a Black Market Adoption. When adoptions go WRONG, How can we bring healing to this ? Not all adoptions are bad, But if one is adopted and then abused this can be sad.Please do a show on how to Heal from Childhood abuse. How Can one RECLAIM one's Life ? Namaste, Hortencia

I just gat through reading one of Dr. Ablow`s books. I would like to write a letter to him to consult something. How do I go by writing to him? Please let me know at your earliest convenience. Thank you very much. Mrs. D. G. Yarbrough

Hi, my name is Cecily Smith a 16 year old daughter I am writing you because I need your help. My mom is a single parent & a wonderful caring person she helps anyone in need any way she can. We live in a ’67 mobile home & her car is an ‘86. She works very hard at her job at a school she is a secretary and she does a lot of stuff. She has worked hard all her life starting on her own at 14 year old. Her dream is to have a new home that is livable. It is my dream to have our dreams come true. Please help make that happen.

My dream:

1.Our Dream House
2.front door that works
3.back door that opens
4.a ceiling without a huge gapping hole in it
5.working electricity in my bedroom
6.carpet and linoleum
7.cabinet doors on all the cabinets
8.wall paneling to cover “ Mr. Fix it” jobs on windows
9.windows that do not leak
10.ceiling that doesn’t leak
11.working facet and toilet in bathroom
12.a washer and dryer that both work at the same time
13.new plumbing
14.a heater and air conditioning
15.a new car

I know that it may be asking a lot but we really need your help. We live everyday for the day we will finally be able to buy a new home. I think one of these days it may come true. Its hard though she tries to get ahead but then the bill keep rolling in and when we might be finally getting somewhere more bills taxes house payments they come and take her money away & we start all over again. We certainly have our down moments but we get though it and move forward. I really hope that you read this and you are able to help us. Anything at all would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!

Dr. Ablow,
Congratulations on the new show.
I hope we'll see a big Blue Dog painting on the set!
I hope all continues to go well.
Let me know if I can be of any assistance in the future.
All the best,
Lawrence

Hey there. I just watched the clip of "Street Therapy" and thought it was interesting. Did they really ever get back to Dr. Keith? I could watch an entire show based on random encounters on the street.

Growing up and still to this day I feel like Lucy/Snoopy with the "Dr is IN" sign. Strangers always seem to approach me and feel the need to tell me their life stories. Some even cry. Although the daughter of a Psychologist, I am no professional.I always try to give honest, objective advice when asked, and often wonder what happened to all of those people who trusted me with their pain. I hope your show is successful and offers follow-ups!

Best of luck-
Laurie

"PS I also got a hug and kiss from the very handsome Dr. Keith. That was worth flying to NY any day. LOL"

Patrice....I am jealous!

Kess

Dear Dr. Keith Ablow show. I am forever grateful to all of you. I asked for help with my marriage and just after one day on your show, my marriage is so much better. There was a strain on our marriage from our own personal issues and our sick twin that no one wanted to listen to and your show did. I hope that when it is aired that it will encourage others. This show will be a great success because it deals with real every day issues, its not just a talk show, its a people show and its out to help others that can relate to daily life issues. PS I also got a hug and kiss from the very handsome Dr. Keith. That was worth flying to NY any day. LOL

Dear Dr. Ablow...
A topic I would like to see on your TV Show would be for advise on older adults (like my age...57) who were abused sexually in childhood. Most of the books I see do not address this issue. Is it to late for us at this age to get help?

I LOVE your books...keep writing Dr. Clevenger stories.

Thanks

I have BPD and I dont know what to do. I'm hanging on by a thread and it doesnt seem as though many therapist know either, besides medication, to which i'd like an alturnative because of the horrible side effects. please help me

Yeah , i have an "issue", each one of those neatly orchestrated and carefully written perspective "examples" where almost aluring. I am curious about why there hasn't been very much television promotion, even House is advertising. i am greatly looking forward to rooting for your sucess and integrity. My you be able to help a few see.

Dr Ablow
Congatulations on your show. I'm not sure if you remember me or not. I was on the Leeza Gibbons show with you back in the mid 90's. I had been a police officer in KY and the show was on a case I had worked. I had actually gone back to school and am now in practice in northeast Louisiana. I have enjoyed your books over the years. Would like to speak with you again when you get the chance.

First comment is....please keep writing Dr. Ablow. Your show will most probably be a success, but your Clevenger books can't be outdone. Please keep writing....you've got a talent that talk show hosts don't possess.

Also, what's up with your signature? I have three of your books signed...and all signatures are different. That's just not right Doc....maybe you need checking out. I'd be happy to oblige.

Best wishes for your show!

Kess

Dear Dr. Keith: Albert Einstein had two sons. The second born son Edward (or Edourd)spent most of his adult life institutionalized for psychological reasons. He blamed his father for abandoning him. Because of Albert's blinding genius nobody wants to look into this person and his relationship with his father. But I think your the person who could.

I have always been a very happy person in spite of life's "ups and downs". I'm a highly intelligent and competent person; and according to women and unavailable men I'm beautiful as well. I haven't been able to be happy in a while now. I'm lost. I feel unappreciated and unloved--worse yet, unloveable.

My life has been filled with emtional trama.I been raped and molested several times when I was little.I went through a physically abusive relationship and survived that.Now I am in a place where I am loved and cared for in everyway.However I am still insecure, and haunted at times by my past. I'd love to let go. Thanks for any time you can give.

I am knocked out that you are doing a show on tv! I really hope it won't keep you from writing your fiction! If I have an addiction I have yet to get help with, it's your books! Please keep writing your fiction! It helps me stay sane!

I've never seen anything like this before. i look forward to the show. Great looking site!

Hi:

Are you Dr.Keith RUSSELL Ablow?
I used to really enjoy the articles you wrote for the Washington Post Health section years ago.

Based upon a wonderful book I read about 10 years ago:Adaptation to Life by George Vaillant, I realized that I was schizoid for a long time based on his definition of the term as behavior characterized by eccentricity and fantasy.
I am aware of this and try to fight these tendencies but the impulses often return like a bad dream. Will I ever be completely
rid of them?

I look forward to watching your program.

Arthur Wilkins

I am Gay and disable and I would like DR.Keith to help me get the men I love back. For the simple fact that he is not speaking to me me for the stupid mistake I did when I did not belive him when he said to me the phrase " I don't have a problem with your disability and I just love you the way you are" I know,he needs space to think and I know he's hurt as well. But, I tried everything to get him back to the point sent him greeting cards to his job explaining my change to him. I don't know what to do so,he could see I love him and that I changed to too. Please help me DR. Keith with my problem

my story being brief is that I have a drug addiction, raising 13 year old twin boys (one is autistic), my marriage is falling apart and I've been umemployed for the past 3months.