Hi I am 22 years old, I have been on and off with this guy that I believe I am in love with for almost 5 years. For the first part of our relastionship everything was good, Then about 7 months into the relationship we started using meth. This went on everyday for about 2 1/2 years, BUT now we are both clean, we now live together again alot has changed, like were buying a house and trying to move forward. This is going on our 2nd year (continuasly) living together and at first my mom just quit talking to me, now she talks/sees me but he (my boyfriend)is not aloud at family functions, or around her (she believes he is the one who made me do meth)so anytime we have get togethers I alwas have to go alone! (she has a domestic violence order on him she thought if she put one on him that it would include me in the order but since I wasnt a minor when she put it on him it does not apply to me) anyway she wont let the past go and its making me crazy! I want to live a normal life with my boyfriend and my mom (rest of the family is ok with him) What should I do?

Dr. Keith,

I have SEVERE social anxiet disorder along with depression, anxiety and panic attacks. I have had this since I was about 22 years old. There are times I CANNOT leave my house for 2 weeks at a time. This disorder is affecting my marriage, and also my children. I have a 10 yr old daughter, Alyssa and a 7 yr old son, Nicholas. They want me to be able to go outside and play with them or go on walks....and MOST of the time...I just cannot bring myself to walk outside, not even to check the mail. I am SO TIRED of living this way!!!!! My husband DOES NOT understand this disorder and sometimes calls me names and belittles me, he'll also say that I'm just a lazy fat *ss and just WON'T do anything!!!! I'm not a fat!!!! I'm a size 6/7 and 5'2 1/2" !!!! I have NO self esteem AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED YOUR HELP, Dr. Keith. PLEASE HELP ME....

hey I am about 2 be 16 years old and I lost my mother at the age of 12 and I have been to concling and it still didn't do me any good and now i am in high school and i lot of people pick on me and say thing bout my mom and i just break down and cry and i don't know how to handle that and i was just wondering could u give some advice plz)

> Dr.Keith Ablow,
>
> As, a almost four year old I witnessed my 2 1/2 year old brother being run over by a truck / I am now 72 years old / I know I could have prevented that terrible day / the older girl I was with held on to my arm and would not let me go back across the road / yeahhhh, I know what people say to me / my memories are from some-one telling me about the accident / not so / I can you exactly what he was wearing and seeing my Mom let him out of the house door. to find me...
>
> Right, back then no-one asked a 3 or 4 year old what happened /no-one ever talked to me about what happened / un-fortunately, all I did was supress the memory until I had children "4 boys" of my own / then suddenly, I could not put it behind me / have been haunted by this terrible thing all my life / he meant every thing to me...
>
> My point being , I know I could have prevented this from happening / I trust if other people happen to experience this loss / I hope, the parents talk to the child about it / yes, I guess, I still feel like I can't forgive myself for not making this girl let go of my arm and let me go / I know I could have prevented this / with out sounding like I am repeating myself..
>
> When, I am alone I always think about this incident...Right, I am alone now / a widow / for many years..
>
> Thanks much for listening.
>
>
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm 21 years old. I saw the show about Debbie who's racist and hate black people. I have the same problem but with arabs... I wrote my name as Anonymous, not because I'm ashamed because I'm SO NOT, but because of people's idiotic reactions. I don't wanna talk about it on here, publicly, because I have so much bad stuff to say about them, people would attack me. But I'd be comfortable talking about it in private.

Hi Dr. Keith. I just need to know how to deal with an angry husband who is 18 years younger than me (which I know is part of the problem!) when he gets p*ssed off and just keeps trying to lure me into an argument. If I leave the house so we can cool off, he won't let me back in. I know we are headed for divorce, I just have to bide my time until I return to work and save some money. Thanks for any help you can give me!

Dr Keith,
i just wanted yo say that i love your show, but i have an issue that i am dealing with. i was a victium of sexual assualt from the age of 7 til the age of 13 i did report the whole thing and everything, but it is still a major part in my life like im not a very sexual person towards the person in my life and i want some advice on how i could let this point in my life go and work on steps into being a better partner.... thanks

I am too thin, I hate it. I hate people telling me I'm too skinny or oh my god look at her she's tiny. iI weigh 85 pounds and absolutly hate it. How can i gain weight can you help me?

I was watching your show today and it stated if a child had been sexually abused you would like people to contact you. Well my daughter 12 now came forth with info and has gone through the forensic investigation and exam and now we are waiting for indictment on my husband (2 b X husband ) but he had been sexually assulting her for over two years. Our lives have changed. I need to know if my daughter will make it through this as normal as one can be. Please respond and we would love to be a part of your show. I believe to make her come out of this she needs to see the future as she may help others come forward and put a stop to this happening to other victims.

It was fustrating to watch and listen to the mother of Garrett and his adopted sisters. I was sexually abuse at a foster home when I was around 6 to 8 years of age. After being adopted I did have one situation where I touch a little boy years younger. I knew it was wrong! The mother of Garrett is defending the girls. If I knew it was wrong, I know the Devon knew it was. I feel badly for Garrett!!! He must feel awfull that his parents pretty much have abandon him. I feel badly for the whole family and the girls too.

Dr. keith, i saw your show today on child hood obesity. I would like to say that i am now an adult but i still struggle with my weight. I am 21yrs old and weight almost 300lbs. After watching your show i know my eating habbits come from problems in my past. My parents divorced when i was 5yrs old and growing up i always wanted love and accepctiance from my father but never got it. now i dont even talk to him and maybe only see him once a year. I realize that my problem started here. I am not sure what to do. i so want to loose weight but i have tried diet after diet and i cant seem to stick with it. i have considered surgery but i am just at a loss. what would you suggest i do. I think its time i get some help.

im having trouble in my relationship! im a 35 yr old women dating a 38 yr old women! she has two kids 11 and 8 both girls! they do not listen at all to me,and sometimes they are very mean to me! what can i do? they dont mind me at all? and i keep this madness inside and i cant getr over how they are! i give them everything and they are still mean? how can i parnet better? i want this to last and im trying everything! how can i get past them bein mean and not listing and back talking?

About that story about Melissa that cant go out. My symptoms are simular to her's but I dont know what I have. I can go out, but I feel like everyone is staring at me. I dont drive so that make's it worse because I have to stand at the bus stop. And I feel everyone is staring at me. So I will wait till it is absolutly necessary for me to buy groceries, This started when I was 16 and I had to take a bus to work. I was so ucomfortable I made a story up to my work why I was late. Then I started panicing at the wheel sometime's.
Then I moved with a roommate and I felt when I went to the door to go out he was staring at me. So I would wait till I was starving to go out and get my food.
I was a meth head for 3 yrs and now sober for 4. And I dont know if that made it worse, But I still have sign's. I will have to talk myself into getting out that door to get groceries, and I like that I work graveyard because I feel when I walk to work noone is looking at me. If I am out then Im ok, But then when I feel like I better hurry because rush hour is coming and there will be more people out on the street staring at me at the bus stop.
Now I am temp. on Workers Comp. I can barely walk outside due to my injury. and I am hunched over with a cane. I stay home alot. And Im afraid I am going to get worse because of this injury. Can you give me some advice. I love your show. Marlene

Saw today's program. Have solved my own problem of fear of leaving house by deliberately going out in the car at least once a day. Go to large stores to walk. May never see anyone I know but see many people. Am 82 years old and had this problem all my life. Been alone 20 years since husband's death.

Dr. Keith
Today you did a show an agrophobia. As odd as that may sound to some people, I have a fear of driving that has prevented me from doing so since drivers' ed. in high school. I'm 27 now, I either ride my bike, take the bus, or walk where ever I need to go. I've never been late to work, I'm usually 15 minutes early, so I can't say it's hurting my life. I panic when riding in vehicles, even when I trust the driver. I've never been in an accident, so I'm not sure where this comes from. While riding in a car down the road, my imagination pictures all of the worst case scenarios. I know that this isn't reasonable, but it hasn't stopped. As a child, I had a similar problem with going anywhere, my imagination would picture the worst case scenario everywhere I went, with or without being in a vehicle. I've always been a nervous person and feel that it may be keeping me from adventures I'd like to try, such as driving, or activities like skiing. What roots should I look for in my past that may have started this, and how can I work through my fears and get out and have some fun, maybe even drive?

I have been with my husband for 8 years and married for 5, he is my second marriage, and I thought my last. I thought we had the best marriage ever, up until about 3 weeks ago. I came home from work on a Monday and he wasn't home, I just thought he was out with one of his buddies. After a few hours I started worrying and calling everyone I (we) knew, noone knew where he was. I went upstairs to get changed and found a letter on my pillow, the first sentence was...I am so sorry , but I can't be here anymore...I was devastated, I started screaming and crying, my son pulled the letter out of my hand and ran to my best friends house to get her for me, I called my mother-in-law and she came over. Anyway to make a long story short, my husband told me a week and a half later after he left, (he did come home the next day and said he had alot of stuff in his head and he was sorry and we would go to counseling and work on our marriage)that the night he left me he got a motel room with a mutual acquaintance of ours and slept with her, she is 18 he is 33 and they are in love. When he came home, I knew nothing about the motel, we had sex(unprotected) he's my husband, then I find out when they slept together they had unprotected sex. Now I am moving out of our home January 1st, he wants a divorce but I WILL NOT give him one, call me stupid, I STILL LOVE HIM!!! I want him back, but I have to move out because I cannot stay here and watch him get ready to go out then leave to be with her and sometimes stay out all night, I can't accept that. He tells me he loves her and cares for me, he's IN LOVE with her but only LOVES me...I want my marriage back, I want my husband back. Can anyone give me any advice, please, I have already suffered health problems because of this and I am now on anti-depressants.

Dear Dr. Keith Ablow,

I am 21 years old and I just got out of an 7 year relationship that was not good he was very abusive and rude. This guy I was dating never wanted anything with me not to get marriade or have kids. On August 7 2005 we got in this huge fight he had hit me and beat me up, Then asked me to marry him i said yes. in October of 05 i called the wedding off. i now am dating a wonderful guy and i couldn't ask for a better guy. He loves me more then anything in this world. And i know 100% that he is the one for me. BUT there is one problem i am very mouthy like i say stupid stuff and it is ponly because i don't know how to act cause he doesn't abuse me but the other guy did and thats how i was with him PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY PROBLEM.

I am 30 years old me and my husbend have been together for 13 1/2 years, we have 3 children, I had my son 6 weeks ago, everything in our marrige was fine, so I thought. When my son was 2 1/2 weeks old I found out my husbend was talking to a 22 year old gas station worker, then he just up and left the day my son turned 3 weeks old. I am not sure what went wrong. He says it is something in his head, some people say this is normal after a man has there 1st son, is this true? Or is he just really messed up for walking out on his family when we just had a baby?
Courtney

To: Marciea I am a Spouse of a soldier. If you think your husband needs counseling and he won't act upon it go to your unit's Chaplain and tell him what is going on. My husband has been to Iraq 2 times. I fully understand about things not being the same as when he left. Your husband went through hell while over there and all you can do is pray for him and support him. Even though he has been home since 2003 doesn't matter. Post-Traumatic Syndrome can affect the soldier for many years to come. He needs help. He needs you!

I am schizoid personality, having no friends or contact with family. I have turned into a hermit, leaving home only once or twice a month to do grocery shopping.

Dear Dr Keith - I have watched your show about pain killer addicts. I am a 34 year old woman and I have Fibromyalgia - this condition causes chronic pain that is sometimes so severe I can't bare to touch the floor to walk. I take Perocet and Oxycontin on a regular basis to control the pain. I have tried water therapy, which did help somewhat but only for a few hours after I did it. There is no cure for this disease - I am a mother of three and it is very difficult to take care of my children and help my husband run our household most days, and even harder to keep working my job. I've seen some comments posted about your seemingly one-sided view about pain killers and the people who take them constantly. It would be nice to have a show with people who have conditions like mine so the audience can see why the pain killers are used so much, when there really is not other alternative to help get through the day. I would not say that I am an addict, I don't take the medication every day, but I am sure there are people who have a lot more pain than me who are addicted and can't find a way to control their pain without the meds. Please let your audience know that there are legitimate reasons why people start taking pain killers and why they continue. If there was another way for me to control my pain on a constant basis, I would do it in a heartbeat. I take Lexapro to help me cope also with the emotional part. Thanks for listening.

Shelley

Good mornin' Doctor, Can a male, 49yrs. old, never married, expect to realistically get married? Even though my mate will maybe have childeren grown and on there on or even she has also gone this long with out marriage? I'd like to settle with one women and along with God in our lives build a giving loving supportive life together. Is this realistic or shall we stay seperate lives only getting together on weekends or when the 'feelings permit'. Is this a relationship destined for failure or is it just a friendship between two people fearing committment? I respect you view in this area and would greatly appreciate your in put.
Thank you,
Seamus

Your show is great. How do you know so much about someone in a half hour?
Do you get more history or background before the show?
How do you get to the bottom of the issue so fast?

I have worked in Corrections and have not seen any therapist work so quickly, accurately, and bring down hostility so fast.

Dr Keith

I really enojy your show but I have a problem my ex broke up with me and I took it very hard I ended up begging her and she just treated me like crap after all I did was showed her that I care and she played with my emotions she would tell me she loves me then two weeks later that she didn't and only as a friend she loved me she would date another guy and end up coming to me for attention that he bf didn't give to her and tell me she still loved me and then she would just again two weeks would tell me to leave her alone and now every time I hear from her I get so angree and just feel like seeing blood I become evil and just want to punch throw kicked things over I just would want some advance in what to do yet I still can't forget about her after I have been with so many other girls sexually and emotionally I can't forget her and my realationship don't work out cuz I can't forget about her what should I do??

My daughter have a problem being sad all the time crying herself to bed at night, and wishing she could die, because life is not wroth living,for the past three years,and i just found out.She been cutting herself, and i'm afried it's going too far i need your help IMMEDIATELY.I watch your show everday and see how you help other people PLASE HELP ME.I know there is a better way THANK YOU.

DR.KEITH MY MOTHER IS 34 OR 35. SHE IS LIVING IN A HOTEL RIGHT NOW. IM 17 YEARS OLD I HAVE 2 SISTERS AND 1 BROTHER. MY SIBLINGS ARE SABRINA 16, JASMINE 14, AND MY BROTHER 13. EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL MY MOM HAD ME RAISE MY SIBLING WHILE SHE WORKED AND PARTYED ALL THE TIME. I WAS BORN IN SAN ANTONIO TX, AND MY PARENTS GOT SEPERATED WHEN I WAS 10. I THEN MOVED WHEN I WAS 10 TO LAKEVILLA IL.WHERE I STAYED WITH MY GRANDPARENTS. MY MOM WOULD WORK AND MY GRANDMA WOULD TAKE CARE OF US. WELL THEN WHEN MY MOM STARTED MEETING OTHER PEOPLE SHE STARED GOIND OUT ALOT NEVER COMING HOME LEAVING US THEIR NOT CALLING TO SEE IF WE ARE OK. MY GRANDPARENTS STARED GETTING VERY UPSET. UNTILL ONE DAY MY MOM MET THIS GUY NAMED JERRY WE MOVED IN WITH HIM AND AGAIN WAS MY ACTING LIKE THAT. SICE THE AGE OF 10 I'VE BEEN MOVING FROM PLACE TO PLACE. RIGHT NOW IM 17, MY MOTHER MOVED BACK TO TEXAS FOR HER OWN REASONS AND TOOK MY SIBLING WITH. I DISCIDED TO STAY HERE IN ILLINOI TO FINISH SCHOOL AND HAVE A BETTER LIFE. MY MOTHER HAS NEVER GROWN UP SHE ACTS IF SHE IS IN HER TEENS AND SHE LIVES WITH PEOPLE. NOT ONCE HAS SHE EVER TRYED TO LIVE ON HER OWN.I LOVE MY MOM TO DEATH BUT THE LADY IS ALMOST 40 AND NOT YET HAS SHE GOT HER LIFE STRAIGHT. AS FOR HER TRYING TO B A MOTHER TO MY SIBLINGS SHE REALLY DOESNT CARE WHAT THEY DO TO HER SHE THINKS THAT "THIER OLD ENOUGH TO NO WHAT THEIR DOING". YEAH RIGHT. MY SISTER SABRINA WAS 15 WHEN SHE LOST HER VIRGINITY.MY SISTER USE TO BE THE NEARDIEST GIRL, I DONT NOW WHAT HAPPEND. MY OTHER SISTER JASMINE IS KINDA ON THE SAME TRACK AS MY SISTER SABRINA. MY SISTER JASMINE SHE LOVES SCHOOL SHE HAD THE BEST OF GRADES AT SCHOOL, SHE VEN GOT EXCEPTED TO A MATH ACADEMY SCHOOL.MY MOTHER OF COURSE DIDNT CARE TO SEND HER . AND AS FOR MY BROTHER WELL HES TRYIN TO LIVE A SIMPLE BOY LIFE.WE ALL DONT HAVE OUE FATHER WITH US. BUT DR.KEITH WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO FOR MY MOTHER? I CARE ABOUT HER N I CARE ABOUT MY SISBLINGS. BUT I DONT THINK MY MOM IS EVER GONNA GROW UP N SEE THAT SHE HAS TO STOP LIVIVNG OFF PEOPLE AND GET HER OWN THINGS TOGETHER.
*THANKS FOR YOUR TIME*

XOXO LOVE
BRITTANY .C.

Dr Keith Love the show..
I Need help with my X wife,thats the Problem i still Love her , and would like to have her back with the kids in my life. She is a good person , just went after cares of this world.. Love never changes and is one constatnt in ths world..She cheated on me i have never done that .. But in my heart I still Love her and the two step childeren..Would you please Help me .. I dont mean to sound Desperate .. I just have close soul tys with them and they mean everything to me.. We have had problems and i addmitt that i had my share.. I am willing to do whatever it takes to put them back in my life..Hope to hear from you soon.. PLEASE HELP ME so i can help them.
Thank you very Much
Richard M

dr.keith
i seen your show on relashionships. i have had two kids and im 23. i was 115lbs and i was a workout freak. now that i have had my kids i just feel no hope to do so. my son was 9lbs and 3 oz.23inches long, after i had him i was 187lbs.
now i cant wear a bathingsuit, a shirt that even shows a little of my tummy. i cant look in tha mirrow at my self naked its nasty in my eyes. i had a dream to be a model and i was starting off and now all it is, is a dream. i really dont know who else to turn to. i have very very low self asteam. can you haelp me?

Dr. Albow,

I have been married for a year and a half. We had a great life and wverything was fine. Six months ago, we had some rocky ground and I thought she would leave. I started hanging out with friends of the opposite sex. We stayed together and worked through that issue. Recently, the mother of my child has come back and has caused a major problem in my marriage. For the past few weeks I have been working hard to repair my marraige. She said its hard for her to trust me. I have assured her that I am fully commited to the marriage and that I will be faithfull and true to her. Is there any advice you can give me to help this proccess? I really love my wife and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want this to work. If you have anything that you think would help me in my battle please let me know. Thanks Doctor.

this is a question...........i was married to a wonderful man from the time i was almost 17, we were married 27 yrs..........but, he abused me physically and mentally, when i divorced him he stalked me for 2 yrs.and i hid and maneuvered my life well. i raised our daughters to love him and they do, of course. he refuses to admit he ever abused me.......last christmas at our daughters he asked we start dating again, we did til' july 4th, i left his home one evening and never went back(due to hearing he doesn't need anyone in a nice conversation.... i said nothing, left and never dated him again, he hasn't a clue what happened.)this time he was good to me but on occasion he'd mention how friends had told him i said he abused me,i said nothing. he still doesn't get it and i don't see the point in rehashing, perhaps i'm afraid, he's very strong for a little guy. (i don't know.) i still love the boy i married and respect him terribly, hes a remarkable person. i have so much respect for him and didn't believe in divorce. there were many fights and beatings, but i watched my mother stay in that kind of relationship, and fought my dad to keep her from getting hurt.my ex caused me to have back surgery, but i ride horses and told the dr. i was thrown from a horse. to this day he says my back is due to a horse throwing me. now to my question? understanding me? why did i give him another chance and why do i fall back in, whats wrong with me? i just can't heal, i forgave him the day i left him yrs. ago, but he just won't own it. why do i need him to admit it , and why do i respect a man who beat and hurt me so much? thank you so much for your time.....kathi

Dear Dr. Kieth, I really would like to see a show on how families can pull themselves back together after a deployment overseas. My husband left for Afghanistan a year after we married. Before he left we had a beautiful marriage, of course we argued but we were able to forgive, we HAD a lot of sex and making love was beautifully in sinc. He has been home since 2003 but absolutely nothing has been the same since. When he came home we felt like strangers, the love making died, we fight all the time, we dont laugh or enjoy eachother the way we use to; he even thought about cheating on me but was caught before anything happened (so he says). We've contemplated divorce several times but we do still love eachother very much and don't want to give up. Please tell me what we can do. I've tried to get him to go to counseling at the VA and he agreed but it was never acted upon. What do we do?

I just saw your show and i have been having some sexual issues with my boyfriend. I love him but i just wish i could feel chemistry when we kiss or have sex. sometimes i just dont feel what i believe i should feel. I try to tell him what to do but i just dont tell him everything cause i dont want to hurt his feelings. But then again maybe it could be that we hardly every chill together cause we are always at school or at work or studying. especialy my boyfriend he does not have enough time for me. i wish he would so I could feel special. I think all i want is attention and i dont get much of it cause he is always busy. I think its just that i want to feel special and i dont feel special any more. but then why is it that i dont feel that great. sometimes i just cant have a orgasam i think its him he is not giving me much not makeing enough effort. Am i falling out of love? I just wish to feel very sexual towards when we are being intimit. I just want it to be better. but i think our kiss is even worst but we are working on it sometimes i feel something but not always. I just wish it would arouse me more cause i realy do love him and care for him so much.

Hi Dr. Ablow,
I am a stay at home mommy to one little boy. I get up every morning just to watch your show. Last night my husband and I started to go to bed and I was ready to be intimate with him. He could clearly read the signs that I was throwing at him. To me it seemed like he was being very receptive to me. Then suddenly he asked "what are you doing" I told him that I was wanting to have sex. He said "Not tonight baby I am tired..." "Plus I am really anxious about the job interview I have next week." This is not the first time this has happened in fact this has been going on since before we were married. We have been married for almost two years. I am very concerned. It is making me feel like I am ugly and that he has completely lost his sexual apitite for me. Around four months ago I found him talking to a number of girls on many different sites. He signed on and wrote about himself saying that he was a married man looking for a relationship on the side. I a was devistated, and was on the verge of leaving him. I am so afraid that he is doing it again. He broke our laptop into pieces to prove that he would never do it again and said that he wasnt going to see the women that he just wanted them to send pictures. I still do consider it cheating no matter how innocent he made it sound. Dr. Ablow I am wondering if this is one of the major signs of a cheating man? He loves me so much and maybe I shouldnt base this whole relationship on sex. He takes care of me and I break his heart when I tell him I will leave him if he cheats again. He works all day long and I know that he is there because his brother works with him. Could he be talking to other girls and that is why he has lost intrest in sex with me? Is there something wrong with me? AM I A NEMPHO? I enjoy sex because I feel so much closer to my husband. HELP I dont know what I should do to change our relationship! It is falling quickly. We need a lift up! He wants another baby and I dont think he understands that you have to have sex more than twice a month in order to have a baby? Should we even have a baby? I am just so concerned and confused! Thank you for you time!! See you tommorrow morning when I tune into your amazing uplifting show!
Lauren

HI DR. KEITH....
I HAVE AN ISSUE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND I DIDNT MADE IT AT COLLEGE AND I DONT KNOW WANT TO DO? MY MOM SHE SAID LOOK 4 A WORK OR SOMETHING BUT I KINDA MOMAS GIRL AND I REALLY REAALY DONT KNOW WUT TO DO CAN U GIVE ME SOME ADVICE?
SINCERELY ADRYANA

I have an issue with my Whole life. It all started when I decided to become a dancer. I thought having a new baby at home I could spend more time with the baby if I only worked 2 nights a week and brought home 2 weeks worth of pay. eVER Since I did that 2 years ago they blmame him for letting me go there. It is not his fault nome of their business and that is no reason for them to not except my life. I just want them to call me and invite my family over especially during the holidays. I feel like I am so angry that they will not forgive me that I take it out on my husband and kids. If I just walk out on my husband and kids will my Family except me back in their life or is it not worth it?

Dr keith
Im very glad that your show is a hit. I've been watching your show since it started. My problem is with my girlfriend. we've been together for over a year now, and she is still married to her ex, Im on there computer as we speek. I have a problem with trust because she has cheated with me and a few other men while married. I know she craves attention from men, and she tells me that im the only one she wants to be with, but she still see's one of her male friends witch is a police officer that she had an affair with, that is married with three kids. He has bought her gifts she wears she had pictures of him on her desk at work and at home. she even has articles of him saved. she has lied to me about him at the beginning and i found out them later after she finally broke down and told me. Now she thinks its ok to still see him and i dont want her to. she thinks im controling her and keeping her from seeing her friends but im not i just dont want her seeing this cop. She doesn't care about how i feel, I try to help her with the house I do all the cleaning, take care of her cats and she doesn't show me the attention i need. I do most of the cooking' do the the laundry. I got her a mambership for the gym she wont go she eats nothing but fatty foods, she expects me to have a nice body but she wont for me. Im a very effectionate person, but the only effection i get is in the bedroom. and thats not what i want. If she showed me the attention i need, i wouldn't feel like this. Please help me, we dont even have anything in common. Should i try to make this relationship work or give up. Thanks Dan.

dr keith
my problem is this recently i broke up withmy boyfriend and ended up kissing his best friend. i still love him so much and so does he the problem is , is that he now says he hates me. i have begged and pleded him to take me back. i know that we can sort it outand resolve it. only his mother is involved 24/7 and she irritates me. i did not mean to hurt him, it was never intentionally done. but he thinks so . please could you give me advice on how to fix it! i so want him back. thanks luzaan south africa

Dear Dr. Keith,

I really enjoy your show, I don't miss if I can help it. I have a chronic illness that is starting to destroy my life or maybe I'm allowing it to happen. I have Crohn's disease, Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, ammonia level issues, migraines and some Brain Stem damage. The Crohn's is the worst though. I've had a couple of surgeries to remove part of my small intestines and to repair my colon. In 2004 I weighed about 147 then in February 2005 I started losing and by August 2005 I was down to 70 pounds. No I didn't go on any kind of diet, the Crohn's caused me to throw up and live in the bathroom. Nothing I ate or drank would stay in me, I even threw up water. With Crohn's my list of "Can't Eats" is as long as my arm since those foods cause so much pain, our sex life is in the trash because I can't stay out of the bathroom long enough and there is pain involved with sex. My health dictates what I can do and when and how much I can do before sitting and laying down. I've always been extremely active and this is just killing my spirit and drive. My husband tells me I just won't accept the fact that I have Crohn's and pace myself. I'm going through depression right now something terribly. I feel guilty because I can't do everything I did 20 years ago. I'm only 53 and I should be as active as I've always been. The pain from Crohn's is the worst pain I've ever felt, even more so than child birth. I'm not taking anything for the depression because my doctor doesn't want to mask anything, he wants me to talk to whomever instead. Which is fine, I take enough meds for Chrohn's and pain and I really don't want anymore pills in my system. I'm so angry over this disease. I almost died twice in 2005, in fact I came within 2 hours of leaving this world. I've been in comas and induced into comas for the ammonia level problem. I now fight for every single ounce I gain. I had surgery in Jan 2006 and the drs really didn't want to do it, because the weight was only 70 but they had to risk it. They just knew I wouldn't pull through it, but here I am. I told everyone God just wasn't ready for me yet and my smart mouth ways. I'm at the point that I want to throw up my hands and just give up, then I turn around and fight for everything to just stay alive. My husband and daughters try to understand, but until you've lived with this you can't. I've very independent and head strong and very stubborn and I don't like being taken care of. Between the pain of Crohn's, throwing up, diarreha, and not being able to really gain weight and do exactly what I want to do and when and how is just killing me inside. There are days when I beg God to just take me and get this over with. Some prayers he doesn't answer, thank goodness. But still, at times it's just so overwhelming and I hate the feeling of being helpless and not being able to do for my family. We have 12 grandkids and I want to be around to see the youngest married and with her own family, but at the same time living with this disease is just too much at times for me. Crohn's like other diseases has levels and I'm at the highest level of this disease. I couldn't just have a minor form of it, oh no, not me I have to have it in the worst form. I'm up to 104 now, and people laugh at that, but they don't realize how hard it's been to get that far and the fact within a week I'll be back to 90-95 and have to start over. I would love to see a program of yours do something on Crohn's Disese. There are about 2 million people in America with this disease and I would love to see how they cope with it. I have written an article "Living With Crohn's" but no one wants to publish it. It's very informative and people could learn so much from me and I know I could learn from others. I would appreciate your help with this so much. I have the anger illness but it's directed at myself not at anyone else. Crohn's is an inherited disease and I can't even get mad at the generations before me who were nice enough to pass this on. I turn my anger on myself, no I don't hurt myself, I just stomp my foot, scream, yell and get depressed over it all. Could you please do a program on Crohn's so that others can learn from them how to live with it better than what we're doing?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Susie Wilson Joplin, MO

Hi..i have a problem with my self-esteem...it is getting to a point where it is hurting my relationship with the father of my child. When i was carring my child...my boyfriend had this game he play alittle too much on the net and it got to the point where it was driving me insane...because i needed him and he wasn't there for me...(i moved here for him so i have no family here or no friends)..I then told him how i felt about porn online and looking at pics online...and if he was that type of guy i didn't want to be with him..well he promise that he wasn't like that and he was happy with me...well i have found i don't know how many pics of girls and different sites...i have asked him about how they got there...and as soon as i ask it we start fighting...he tells me he don't know how they got there and it must be cookies from his games and ect. He also says that i need to trust him on the net.. But what i need your advice for...IS How do i go about getting more self-esteem? Why do men do this? and Should i be okay we it? By the way i'm 21 and he is 26...PLEASE HELP

That's pretty messed up, you click on the link to dicuss an issue in your life with Dr. Keith and then you're told you can only post a commonet about a specific show or topic. If you can no longer dicuss issues you really shouldn't lead people to belive you will by having the link, some of us really need an ear and sometimes even good advice.

Dr. Keith,
I sure hope you can help us before it is to late. My wife and I have this friend that over the last 3 yrs. has stopped eating and became anerexic. She now weighs in around 88lbs and she still thinks she is fat. She will not go to a doctor and the last time she did, she was told that her body was shutting down. My wife tries and tries to talk to her with no avail. Now my wife is thinking she is going to lose this very close friend within a year if we cannot find a way to intervein. I cannot stand by idoly and watch my wife cry about not being able to help her friend. The problem is so bad that I just found out that her friends bowls only have a movement once a month. I cannot let this go on without trying. PLEASE HELP!.

Hi Keith,
Yes,I was initially a fan of your writing and when I watched your first show I was very happy to see you were FINALLY getting out there and also a larger audience! Anyhow, I must admit, you were at a good start around your third(?) air, and then lost it again with a "Springer" sort of audience. However, I kept the faith and 'tv-od' your shows. The result? I am very, very pleased with your new material and found that I am learning so much from the insights of your cast as well as yourself.
About me? I fought with the idea of writing to you, but I think I have a great idea for a subject. Based on my own personal situation, of course! Let's do an episode of newly married "30-somethings" where both individuals have wonderful careers. The spin is that both come from "old world" upbringings(who hasn't)... Anyhow, the factors that play are competition, marriage, kids(when, how), career, and also the "old world" expectations versus the reality. Of course, throw into the mix that the generation was raised by either "former hippies" or immigrants, or a combination of both. Meaning, it results in alot of issues, so it could get interesting! ;-) In all honesty, I know that "we" are not alone and I think alot of the new 30-somethings will gain alot. However, unless you air your how at 9 pm, I am going to need to post alot of blogs to get you 'tv-od' for the first time!!!! Lastly, I try my best at communicating my full vision, but I am much better explaining the idea verbally. So, please do not hesitate to call me so we can collaborate.
Br,
Danielle

dr.keith

I'm a 30 year old convict felon. I start in to the gang life early .I thought I was a god . I sold drugs ,even to my father, and other family member. I have 8 children all by different women.I been trying to change for about 4 years but something in the past always come back to haunt me.

Dr. Keith!~* I just love your show and I want you to know it. So what if people think its like Dr. Phil or if they dont like its like that. It kicks butt and its still good to watch.

Dr. Keith,
There has been an issue that I've tried to deal with for years.My biological father and I do not have anything to with each other, and it hurts so much. We both live in the same small town, yet he denies it to this day. I am a bi-racial lady, but I don't think there is anything wrong with me. I do have someone that has been my father and provided me with a wonderful life, yet I cannot understand what I did to deserve this. Please help me understand this.
---Extremely hurt

male menopause
Dear Dr. Ablow,
I am a male 55 yrs. old with 3 children age,15,17, 19.
Late last year a good friend was diagnosed with cancer.
I am now going through a deep depression. I feel that it is being driven by my age primarily. I do not take any medication for it. I think everyone gets depressed at times , but this feeling this time seems un shakeable. my question is : will this pass?

Speaking of pain medication "addicts" why dont you please look into and do a show on Fibromyalgia. It is a chronic condition causes extreme pain that comes and goes, no way to "measure" it and few people know they have it worse yet there are even fewer Doctors qulified to treat it. Thank you

Dr. Keith, I watched your show this morning on marriage disaster 10/31/06 and i can say that my husband and i don't have sex because of the prostate cancer he had 2 years ago he dosen't have it anymore, but our sex life is no life what can i do.

DR KEITH!!!

My daughter and I became a fan of yours after reading your books!!!When I saw your show I was thrilled, you are so caring and insightful. I work shift work so I tape your show everyday and watch it. My daughter and I are worried now that you wont have time to write! Keep up the good work you are helping so many people.

Hello Dr. Keith.
I have watched your show here and there. It is quite good.

Anyways, my problem is that i'm never myself around people. At school, I am more quiet and well, BORING. I don't know why I do it. Now I have low self-esteem and I don't like to meet new people.

PLEASE HELP?

I missed most of today's show on teen mothers, frankly I figured the show was a Dr. Phil knock off and I don't like Dr. Phil.
Anyway, I have a 14 year old daughter (15 in 4 days) who is expecting in March. I wish she wasn't pregnant so young but she is, and so she has TOTAL support from both parents and her maternal grandparents. Before getting pregnant she was a hellion, constantly in trouble, sneaking out, etc. She has grown up immensly over the past 3 months because she has had to. I just WISH the 18 year old father (who also has a 1 month old with a 15 year old) would grow up as well.
Anyway, I'm just glad there is a show out there that is helping with these issues rather than just making the girl and her family look like skanks.

Thanks Dr. Keith!

I just watched your show on Teen Pregnancy, and I have to say I'm most shocked of the youngest daughter, 15, and her attitude towards her position as a new mother. I myself am 15 years old, and I gave birth to my son in August. At first it was a shock to my parents to discover that I was expecting, but now they are very happy grandparents. I am also a single teen mom, the father of my son has disappeared.

Because her mother was a drug addict doesn't mean thats why she became pregnant, she knows like everyone else where babies come from and that even on birth control accidents happen. Both of my parents are recovered addicts and I forgive them for it, all parents will make mistakes. When my son is older I know I will make mistakes, but family is forgiving and I hope he will be.

I'm surprised that the youngest daughter still wants to go out to parties on weekends, when her baby is at home. I wouldn't trade my son for the world, I know being a mother is the most important job I could ever have, and I'm not going to leave my child at home with my parents just so I can party with friends, It's not worth it.

Also, I can understand how the mother parents differantly to the older daughter, 17, and to the youngest. Each child is differant and requires differant parenting, I know that because my sister is 18 and we are both unique, and our parents have to give us seperate approaches to differant issues. Maybe the mother gives the older daughter more priveledges because the oldest might have a differant view on her position as a mom, and may be educated as a parent and a woman. The youngest daughter should understand that things are differant now, and sibling rivalry is a thing of the past. All she needs to worry about is taking care of her son and giving that child all the love in the world, and fighting over childish things arent worth it.

Thank you for your time, I enjoy your show.

Dear Dr Keith,
I enjoy watching your show, as a social worker student I find the topics and discussion very interesting. I am also a recovering addict and very involved in the fellowship of N.A./A.A.. On today's show you had a mother of teens who stated she was an addict. You suggested A.A. meetings and told her you would find her a sponser. That is not how the fellowship works. You can help her get to meetings but this is a self-help program,she has to find her own Sponser and work the steps. I would be happy to discuss with you how the program works. It is an awsome program!!! It saved my life!!!!

I just wanted to say that I really like your show. At first i didn't know if this would be a "copycat" show of Dr. Phil, or a informative, motivating show. As proven it is a show worth watching. Today's show really made me realize this, because a speaker from the audience came forward saying something, and Dr. Keith offered to pay for help for her if she was having a struggle. I am not sure if this was scripted, but it seemed like a very generous, caring response, from someone who was on a show, dedicated I would say to helping people.

Sincerely,
Meaghan

Dr. Keith,
I just watched your show on prescription drug addiction. Over the years, I've seen several shows on this topic. You stated that this illness affects hundreds of thousands of women in our country. My heart goes out to them and their families.

The problem I have is, there is never a show about how pain is often undertreated and misunderstood in this country, partly due to shows like yours.

Why don't you ever do a show about chronic pain patients who have been suffering for years and have been treated like drug addicts while seeking legitimate treatment? (It is an epidemic, not a once in awhile event).

Please, consider the hundreds of thousands of chronic pain sufferers in this country who suffer further due to the one-sidedness of stories like yours aired today (Oct. 25, 2006).

We who suffer chronic pain deserve some sort of quality of life, as well as respect and dignity.
Sincerely,
Bobbie

Dr. keith,
My family is in desperate need for your help!! My parents have been battling the disease of drug addiction for as long as i can remember. Life has been a roller coaster.We've been close but my family has been seperated for Four years.We moved a few times and then we moved out of the Bay Area and to this little town so my parents could get clean. That didn't happen. I don't really talk to my mother and neather does my older brother.My dad is still stuggliong to stay clean. I have so much resentment towards them both.Can I ever forgive them??Will I ever understand?? It's putting my confidence and life on hold! Amber

I am asking for HELP!! I am in a marriage that is emotionally abusive and we have 4 wonderfull kids but for me im looking at only one way out.Please can you help us.

hey dr.keith.my name is deema and i am writing to you about a issue with a friend.My friend and i used to be so close no one could tare us apart but death.That was until March,2006 she became a very wild teen and i completely stopped talking to her.She gets drunk at parties has sex with strangers and doesn't remember.My biggest fear is that she will become pregnant and not know who fathered her baby.I am writing you because she also tries drugs and again has sex with strangers and it breaks my heart because i love her to death and now she talks to me like i am her enemy.On my birthday she did not bother to call me and i enjoyed myself but kept thinking how could she not call.How can i give her a reality check because i do not want anything to harm her.

I was raised in an emotionally abusive household.My mother is working on getting better but still is very judgemental. My father is still very emotionally abusive. Now I am afraid that my husband is showing signs of emotional abuse, what do I do? And how do I keep from passing this "disease" on to my two kids?

I just seen your show about open relationships and i'm thinking of exploring the concept of one in my next relationship but i have a few concerns.I have always had trust issues in my relationships and i'm just wondering if this might worsen or alleviate the problem.I think if i give my partner this space then there won't be a need for me to think about him cheating because he's fulfilling this "fantasy" already but then i'm worried it may backfire. What if it makes my insecurities deeper...i'm really confused and would like help on getting over these issues which always seem to destroy my relationships. But where do i begin??

I just got thru watching the family controlled by the son's rage and that Michael made me sick to my stomach. I have a brother just like him; he's 4 years younger than me and has been hateful to my mother for years, blaming her for everything wrong in his life. True, she wasn't always the best mother, but in truth, she spoiled him and let him get away with things I never even dreamed of doing. My father wasn't perfect either---and guess who he idolizes??? He was always criticizing how they raised us, but this joker is 30 yrs old and after breaking up w/ his babymomma, abandoned his job and is LIVING AT THEIR HOUSE, NOT PAYING RENT AND IS JUST NOW PAYING BACK A LOAN OF 1K SHE MADE TO HIM FROM HER 401K PLAN 3 YEARS AGO---AT $24 A WEEK!!! It's sickening how these 'men' act like they hate the sight of their mothers, but are quick to take $$$ and lean on them. I hope that one day, when Michael's daughter, and my own brother's children grow up and realize their dads aren't perfect and turn on them like rabid dogs, they'll finally figure out how self-destructive and hypocritical they are and GROW THE #@!* UP!!! All of us, in order to call ourselves adults, need to realize that no one is perfect and usually do the best they can w/ the resources they have, and that once you're grown, how you live is a reflection of YOU, not THEM. My prayers are with this family, but as far as sympathy for Michael, he gets NONE.

Dear Dr.Keith

My name is Kathy Jeanine Edwards. I am 39 years old and at age 34 I was at a weight of 378 lbs and at time I was unable to walk due to a drunk driving accident in 1989 when a drunk hit my son and I, which left me disabled. So on 9-11-01 when everyone was finding out about the World Trade Center, I was fighting for my own life having a gastric-bypass surgery, after which the doctors didn't think I would make it. I was rushed back into surgery because of complications, a pulferated ulcer, and I almost didn't make it. Infact I died twice, but by the grace of God I lived coming out of that was a long and slow recovery.
There has also been a down side to the weight loss which is all the extra skin that was left behind when the fat went away. I have to take 2-3 showers daily just to keep the odor down, and skin care has taken over my life. Dating is fine until it comes to the part where we become sexual and I take off my clothes because then they take off running because they're unable to handle what they see but I cannot blame them it does look sickening. But with only $699 a month I'm unable to do anything about it. I have overcome so much in my life with being molested by my father to the car crash to being disabled and then the surgery. The weight loss was great it really helped my back out but if i could get this extra skin taken off I could fulfill my dreams of becoming a model and find someone to love and touch me again. I thank you so much for taking your time to read my letter and may God bless you.

Sincerely,
Kathy Jeanine Edwards

PS. the down side of gastric-bypass surgery they don't tell you at the time.My depression is so bad now because of this i dont know what to do . It's making my life a living hell now my health is going down because of this. I need help and don't know where to go if you could help i would be so thankfull .

hey rd. kieth iam 18 and i wathch ur show every chance that i get , my problem is i have a disfunctional family , and i truly believe that we need counseling or therapy , mu dad refuses 2go , he says that its a bunch of crap and that he doesnt need a doctor 2 tell him that he is crazy . the problem in our famikly is because of HIM and i feel bad saying that because he is my dad.i really feel like i really need 2 go 2 a psychologist !! i need help, my family is destroying me!!!!!, my dad is , well disturbed because his mom never liked him and she was a whore 2 put it bluntly , all of my dad brothers are from different dads, and that messes him up , my grandmah was atotal bitch and she abused him , and now he takes that out on us plz plz help me we truly have a problem!!!!!!!!!
thank u nayeli

Hi, my name is patty, i am a 34 year old mother of three. in recent years i have lost three important men in my life and now i can stop think of death. Not killing my self just the fact of death. I love life , my husband is 40 year old man hard working and loveing but i get mad at him for the smallest stuff, same with my kidds my son is 15 and has adhd, then there is my little girl is 5 and may have atizem ,( sorry mt spelling is not the best)I just watch your show about the anger sickness, i think the depresstion i am thought to have i ithnk i am have that anger sickness not sure it just seems like i can't have more than one day in a row with out stress taking over my life, at work its the same i think i am the target of all the stressin the place.I am crazy of just crazy? Am i the only one like this.

Dr. Keith,

I am single again. My daughter just went to collage. I have been divorce for 17 years. I raise my daughter by myself with help from my parents. I have Multiple Sclersis for now 25 of my 45 years. I want to get back into the work force. It is a tight work force and even toughter for me, or others disable. I do not drive (except for my power chair) I use the bus system. I have had many interviews but no call backs. I am trying to live on just SSDI and food stamps. I may have $40 left over for taxables and fun? time. How can I do it?
Thanks,
Cathy

Dr. Ablow, I found the way you described Mr. Karr as becoming the way he is very interesting. You were able to have empathy and still see the sickness, very objective. I have family members something like this and it is sometimes difficult to see both sides and not feel like a monster yourself. You were very enlightening and I was made to feel that I am not alone, Thanks so much, Christie

Hi, I am 41 yrs. old and married to a man that I am no longer in love with.We have been married for 3 yrs. but together for 5.I was married before for 16 yrs. and have 3 children,22,21,and 16.I no longer want to be with my husband because he has been mentally abusive in the past and I can't and won't forget it.I have written him a letter and told him that I am no longer in love with him because that is the only way I can tell him.If I try to talk to him about anything it always ends up in an arguement.I just want out of this relationship but he just doesn't get it. Thank you,Alone & Lonely, Linda

I wrote a kind of rambling note to you a few days ago. I am bi-polar and have never been able to figure this out....I did the other day watching your show. The phrase that Dr.Ablow uses "you're going to be ok." Nobody has ever said this to me before. Thanks for using it for others. Maybe some day someone use say it to me.

I am a 56 year old currently suffering with extreme chronic pain brought on at age 54 from fibromyalgia and chronic myofascial pain. Before this time, I was always active, athletic, never overweight, always on the go. I was a downhill skier, mountain biker, cross country skier, and was always full of hope and energy. At 52 I could still spend all day in the mountains, mountain biking 20 plus miles with hubby.

Now I am on disability. I had to throw in the towel on my 17 years as an elementary school teacher (in Aug, 2006). It was just too much for me to deal with the job and the pain.

I've always worked, and I've always admired working women. I've done everything from being a flight attendant for 8 years, to knitting ski hats in a factory, to cooking for ranch hands on a ranch in the Sawtooth Mountains. I have a Master's Degree in Elementary Ed.

The problem I'm having is, trying to make peace with who I have become so late in my life. I'm still skinny, and look fit, but no longer able to get out and enjoy myself. I've become a hermit. My hubby and I spent 30 of our 32 years together doing all of these activities together, in fact we met on a ski slope in 1974. The core of our relationship has always been to be outdoors being active!

He's been very understanding and supportive through all of this and is as frightened as I am. I've been to tons of docs and am under the care of a psyc., but still I find myself feeling like I've failed my husband as well as myself and have very little to look forward to. Some days I just sit and cry due to this unrelenting pain and the fact that I'll be facing this kind of torture for the rest of my life.
Bobbie

I have cared for my mother since her stroke in 99, this year she has become an alzheimer pt, tons of family anger, no help with moms care plus a lot of other issues. just recently my 38 yr old sister-in-law died of a heart attack unexpectedly. family members thought mom should be there for my brother and children they are angry because I said I would not put here through the trauma and now well lets just say I'm not a very liked person, visiting nurses and moms doctor said not to put her through the sadness. dr keith if you only knew the half of the ugliness, most mornings I hate waking up, what next

Dr.Keith:

I am currently watching your show on anger illness. I am not a mother, I am a father. I too can relate to what I am hearing from these people on your show. I feel like I get outside of myself and once the anger subsides, I feel terrible and wonder how I could do some of the things I do. I can not control it when it comes over me. I feel my blood pressure rise, and then it just explodes and comes out. I am always tired, I don't have the energy to get out of bed some days, I have thought that sometimes if I was only dead, then my children at least would not have to put up with such an angry person (and they would not have this type of role model affecting their lives). This is the first time I have had the courage to talk about this to anyone, but your show REALLY struck home with me. I am divorced, with 3 young children (ages 11,8, and 7) the middle one, a boy, is also autistic. All 3 of them are the picture of perfect kids. Well behaved, adored in school, and love life (even my autistic son is described as well adjusted and highly functioning). I could write a book, but I better sign off. Thanks for "listening".

Doug Perlinger Burnsville MN

I was watching your show today on the anger illness and it hit so close to home. I have been working on it for a while, and with some help from my husband I have calmed down quite a bit. I still get the feeling of irratiation, frustration, boiling blood then my top blows. I do this mainly to my daughter, somewhat to my son but not as much. I now understand that my past is still with me and I haven't let it go. I try really hard not to get mad, but I can't controll it. I get mad at the smallest thing from trash on the floor to a dirty bed room. I have noticed since I moved back to my home town that I am even venturing my anger out on people outside my house. I feel like if it is not my way then it should be no way. I can't controll how I feel, it's just there and I don't completely understand it. I don't eat, sleep or function. I am always tired, if and when I do sleep it is usually during the day and it's not because I am tired it feels as though I am depressed about what I don't know. I have everything that I want, home, my kids, my husband. Is there any excerises that I can do to correct this problem with out going to see a shrink. I do not have insurance but desperatly need to correct this issue, I am in fear that my kids will live the depressed, unorganized life that I live with the feelings that are not worth anything, but yet need to controll everything. My 12 year old is starting to show signs of following in my foot steps. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

Dr. Keith,
I just watched your show on anger illness, and related to the mothers. I have two sons and sometimes they send me over the edge. I have little control over my anger when I reach that point and although I do not physically hurt them, I can see the hurt in their eyes when I rant and rave incessantly. I do not know how to make myself shut up. And like you said on your show, my childhood was not easy. My mom raised 4 kids herself and screamed at us every day. I have low self esteem, and have tried all my life to please people so I would be liked and accepted. I don't want my kids to be like me, I want to be a better parent to them.

Dr Keith, I just watched your show on anger illness. You would not believe what I've been going thru with this problem lately and just this morning my boss had to have sit down with me because now it is affecting my job. I just turned on the tv, and there you were. Like a Godsend, literally. I feel all the same symptoms of these other women. I am a single mom of 9 yr. old twin boys. I yell and scream all the time and then wonder what was so bad that I had to get so out of control. But the one thing I will not do when I am that angry is put my hands on my children. Thanks to your show I realized I do still have "some" control over this situation and if I had insurance or anything I owuld get help. Problem is in this area, I know the people who work at these so called free clinics, and to be honest they are no better off than I am. Since nobody can help me, I'm gonna have to trust God that I can get a handle on this and break this cycle for my children's sake. They are my life and I would do anything for them. Thaks for letting me know that I'm not crazy and it's not "me".
Gina, North Carolina

Hello Dr.Keith I was watching your show about the Anger Illness and I think I might suffer from that, and as I was watching these mothers explain their symptoms I realized even more of what I'm doing to my own children. I've got 3 children and they range from 6, 5, and 2.What can I do about this and how do I make it up to them and show them I'm so sorry for being angry with them all the time? I do tell them I'm sorry afterwords, but I don't think that they believe me, and I truly don't blame them for that. I love my children, and I would give them the world and more if I could.

I met my g/f about 3 years ago. Seemed to hit it off right away. We were okay for a long while, even had alot of life struggles along the way. But in the last few months I found my heart was elsewhere. Even developed feelings I PROMISED I'd never feel again, feelings similar from the past. I've known this friend as long as if not longer than the g/f. The point of this comment is that I have invested alot of feelings into something that I want to happen, but cannot see happen. Yes, everyone knows about the other. But I don't know how to let go. Not sure if I really want to let go. I wish I could explain more, but I don't have the words. I need to find some answers. This is tearing me apart. I have become severely depressed over this. This is a plea for help!!!

Dear Dr Keith,
I watched your show today on anger illness and felt as if I was up there on that stage. I have a small child and haven't really had any problems with her but I get like that with my husband and did growing up with my brother. I can get so upset that I feel like I am going to explode. I scream and yell and know that I shouldn't do it in front of our baby. I am scared that one day I will do that to her and don't know how to prevent that from happening. I hate when I get like that but it's like I have no control, I just get so upset that I don't know who I am. I just wanted you to know that I can relate to these ladies and it's very scary because I don't want to have that relationship with my daughter. Any comments are welcome.
Thank you

Dear Dr. Keith,
I just watched your show today on anger illness. I wasn't really watching untill I heard the lady describe her symptoms and it just hit me so close to home. For years I have yelled at my children and always just thought I was a bad impatient mother. I have constantly told myself I need to stop. After I yell I feel so terriable and I sit down and try to figure out why I lost control. But after it is over I usually can't even remember why I was yelling. Like on your show, when I am yelling it is not me, it is almost like I am trapped inside while this out of control person is taking over. I would do anything for my kids and it kills me to know that my yelling is hurting them, not only mentally but it in turn effects them physically. Thank you for your show today, it gave me hope that I can still be a good mother if I see somebody to help me with this anger illness. Untill your show today I thought I was just a terriable person hiding behind a loving and caring mask (kidna like jekyll and hide). Thank you again for addressing this issue and making it known to me. If you know anybody in my area that specializes in this it would help out alot.
Sincerely,
Chelsea from Farmington, NM

I am having huge problems with my 5 yr old son. He cannot seem to keep himself out of trouble at school. He has recieved more referals and detentions than my 15 and 12 yr olds, put together, have their entire lives. He gets into fights, is defiant, lies, and at times refuses to do work. He is a very smart child acedimically and is on or above all requirements for a first grader. However, I believe his behavior problems at school are out of control. His father and I do not live together and disagree on disipline. I feel spanking my son to teach him to control his anger is contradicting, his father has no problem taking his hand (or belt) to our sons bottom. To make things worse, today our son got in another fight and the school called his father who went to talk to our son, while dad was threatening a spanking when our son got home the school counselor proceeds to tell him (the father) that its ok to take our son into the bathroom and spank him right then. I need help!! My disipline of my son is not working well, obviously, but I feel it was wrong of the counselor to offer this suggestion. Not sure what to do to help my son!!

Dear Dr keith,Can you please help to reconcile my relationship with my son and Daughter we met in 2004 and i have not seen them sence! I'm not sure what my dauters intensions were when she and my son came to meet me!?
Thank you for your time keith,Im looking forward to hearing from you

I love my b/f a lot and i daon't know if he loves me. I don't know if it is what i did in the passed, or what.
What should i do???

sincerly,

michaella

I was diagnosed and hospitalized after I attempted suicide last October. I went to counseling and was put on an antidepressant. I quit taking the medicine because it was making me sick and I wanted to "feel better" on my own. Boy was i wrong. I then went to another doctor and she diagnosed me with Bi Polar II disorder. I feel restless and irritable most of the time, or overwhelmingly sad and hopeless. When i don't feel that way, I feel like I don't have a care in the world. My roller-coaster emotions have interfered and ruined my relationships with family, friends and my boyfriend, who i love dearly. Sometimes i don't even have the energy to get out of bed, or to do normal everyday things like take a shower or make myself look presentable. I haven't been able to hold a job for more than 2 months without my emotions taking control. Is there anyone who can relate?

Hi Dr. Keith. My problem started when I was 17(?). I am now 42. I suffered from panic attacks and agoraphobia and now depression. I have been hospitalized once (3 months at the Institute of PA) and now am to the point where I am housebound and on SSD. Uhm, how do I get to a doctor? This is a horrible way to live. I need help ...

Thanks,
Lisa

Dr. Keith,
Please excuse my references to Dr. Phil, but he seems to be part of the problem. Since he came on the TV there has been a decline in the quality of the relationships between mothers and married sons. This is just my opinion. His belief that the two married people should be all inclusive, about everything in their married lives, including the children, is creating or enabling bitches for daughter-in-laws and sons who believe they need to follow his advice, since both the daughter in law and the Dr. are professing the same thoughts. I think you would do this country a great justice if you would have a show on the etiquette of daughter in law vs mother in law. If not a show, please consider a book. I have been considering writing this book myself and calling it "It's My Wedding Too." From the very beginning, my son's wife peed out her territory and has gotten even more active throughout the last 13 years. I am a trained Social Worker and she is a fifth grade teacher. If I
had to give you a quick personality picture, socialpath comes to mind. I don't dare say anything, if I am alone with her, because my son does ont hear my words, only her interpretation. I am not able to see my two grandchildren. It has been a year. Then I have another son that's even worse. Neither will go to counseling with me. Please advise. I keep telling myself I don't need to be a mother or a grandmother. I was only seeing everyone twice a year, if I was lucky anyway. We live 9 hours from one another. My heart is breaking, if I am to be truthful.

This is to megan. Theres not much to my story other than what I said. The only other facts that I failed to claim is that I was diagnosed with Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder.I wish I did not have to take medication to be 'normal'. I went off my Bipolar medication and cut back on my mood stabilizer, which I will not tell my therapist yet. I do not know if this was a good idea to do. I still have so much hate towards myself and feel 'stuck' in my life. I feel like a complete loser because I cannot drive like I said and I have no job. My therapist wants me to go to DBT (a group) and because of my social phobia I lied and told her I felt fine. Everything is just falling apart.

This is for 'S' who posted her comment on the 30th. i just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. i didn't know it had a name, but i feel like you do all the time. i posted something on the 18th. there still is no change, but i was hoping you could write back to me and let me know the rest of your story. I'm 21 so we are close to the same age. i thought you weren't suppost to feel this way until you were in you 40's or something.

dear dr keith, I am 19 and have an intense fear of driving. I don't know how how to move on and I have no job because I am in therapy right now. I know there is more to that excuse. Actually I have a social phobia and feel I will fail in everything I try to do. I cry every night wishing I could be somebody else. I hate who I am as a person. When I resolve one issue another one comes around the corner. I feel so much anger towards myself and will not blame anybody else. The pain deep inside me haunts me every day. I cannot get over the fact of who I am and where I am in my life right now. I wish I could be like all the other 19 year olds out in the society. Also I am constantly tired and go to bed around 5:30 every night. I need a serious change in my life.

I have been married for a little over a year, this should be the happiest time of my life but its not. Scine i got married i've been suffering from depression. I've gained weight, lost a lot of hair and even started to have anxciety attacks (i even scratched my stomach till i started bleeding). All this i beleive is because i am not happy in my marriage; My husband goes to bed at 4:00am watching adult films and then i feel scince we got married he shows little to no affection.. to be honest the only time he does is when he wants to be intamate.

When I first met my husband he asked me to have sex with one of his friends while he watched. I did it. A few months later we got married. Then the physical abuse started, then I was being constantly accused of cheating on him. He did not establish strong bounderies in the beginning and he always referred to infidelity as "just sex". A few years later I did have an affair. I did it so that my husband would leave me and move out. He wouldnt. He convinced me that the past was the past and that he wanted to start over. I decided to give it another try. I have put %100 into my marriage. That was a mistake. 10 months later he is still verbally abusing me, occassionaly physically, over my affair. Now that I am unemployed he is using that to make me fearfull of being put out on to the streets. I do not know what to do. I cant leave, he will not work on our marriage.

I have been together with my boyfriend for 3years. I have two kids 4 years-old and 3 years-old. Since we got together everything was perfect at the beginning but now everything has changed and I don't know what to do. I don't have a life any more I can't have any friends he has restricted me from talking from almost anybody except my family. I have let this go on for this long but I don't if I can take this anymore. If any guy talks to me that he does not know he will call me so many name its not funny. I don't want my two boys to be raised up this way but I love him or some times i think I am keeping around for the kids. The kids are biologicaly his and he knows that its thats the father they have only known and he practically raised them. I am not saying every thing is falt because in relationships it takes two. I am just saying i need help to keep us together or is it even worth it.

I just watched your show on September 28 about the wives who are (or have participated) in a polygamist marriage with several other wives. Would you be willing to air a show on husbands who are participating in a polygamist marriage with several other husbands (with only one wife)? If you want to legitimize this type of life-style, then this arrangement should go both ways. It would be interesting to interview men (if there are any) whose self-esteem would not be destroyed in that type of arrangement.

I have had alot in my life going on and I have no one that I feel that I can discuss it with without feeling ashamed and having them judge me.

I was molested by my step brothers when I was 9 years old until I was 14. I thought that it was normal and I didn't want to tell anyone in fear that the blame would be put on me.

Since then I have had horrible relationships with men, I pregnant when I was 18 and had my son when I was just 19. I feel that he is the best thing that happened to me, however, his real father wanted me to abort and I wouldn't do it, so when I was 5 months pregnant he ended the relationship and I haven't spoken with him since.

Then when my son was about 6 months old I got involved with an alcoholic and substance abuser and then married him. There was physical and emotional violence in the home. I ended up having to get a protective order and get out of that relationship.

I am now married to a good man although we have had our ups and downs he has had a horrible childhood that he has had to get over as well, it hasn't been peachy.

When I go to a doctor they put me on anti depressants that don't seem to work and I have also tried to chemically deal with my issues and that is just covering them up. I feel myself becoming an addict to alcohol or anything that will numb the pain.

I recently lost my awesome job to it going over seas and I feel lost and I watched the show today and saw a woman that explained that she doesn't even feel like getting up in the morning and I feel the same way. But I know that isn't fair to my family, they just don't understand and I think that my husband is really getting upset with me.

i have a little girl and she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. her father and i were together for a little over a year when i got preg.
since then hes been pretty non- existant. she's only one and he has already missed her first everything so far. he was kind of around for a little bit right after she was born and then when we broke up in may he didnt see her again til the middle of september.

he has come from a home with no male role model and i know its hard for him but it disgusts me that he tells everyone that i dont allow him to his his daughter that has never been the case. i want my little princess to have a daddy and have and do all i did when i was young with my dad. i want him to accept her for who she is, a part of him and i want me and him to have a healthy relationship, not romantic but i think that us being able to communicate is always been an issue with him. i have tried everything and i dont know what else to do.

My fiance and I recently had a baby, he is 3 months old now and our relationship has gone down the hill. Beginning with the birthing i had a rough time having to have a c-section and in the hospital constantly for chronic headaches. My fiance and I fight and argue at least twice a day. I am a stay at home mom and my fiance thinks that it is so easy on me that i dont do anything except lay around and watch movies. He is still in college right now and is in ROTC and one weekend a moth does National Guard. His schedule on MWF he has only one class, then comes home to do some homework and then spends the rest of the day up until 2 in the morning playing video games. When i ask for help with the baby or to do something around the apartment his response is "its not my job, thats your job". He says he pays the bills so I am responsible for everything else. I am breaking down each and everyday, i do not want another child because i am doing it all by myself. The staying up late at night i want to stop because he sleeps in until 12 or later and i dont get any help because of it. I moved here to be with him about a year ago and when i first got there it was all about us two. Now i cry every night, i felt like going back home to Florida and just being a single mom because thats what i feel like im doing now. He says he never gets a break, but is always playing a game or on the weekends has his friends over till late at night to where i cant get any sleep and waking the baby up at night. I want him to start helping not help more because he doesnt do anything except pay the bills. I need help and i dont know what to do I've never been so unhappy. He has time to some things but he doesnt want to change his way since we have a baby now. i dont go outside of the apartment i dont have any friends since ive moved here. the only people i have to talk to each day is my fiance and my son. i feel so alone. Please help me in some way.

I have been married for three years now. Soon after my husband and I were married I found out that he had a two year old son that he knew about but did not tell me about. I love his son like my own. I now have a 9month old boy myself and now I do not have the same connection with his son and it seems that every little thing he does annoys me. I want to have a bond with him but now that I have a mother and child bond with my son, it seems like I can't have a bond with him. It almost feels like i resent him because my husband lied to me about it. How do i divide the time between the two?

3 yrs. together..little did I know he was cheating! I got pregnant and he abandoned me. My son is already 13 months old and he showed no interest in seeing his 1st son! He's married now. I guess most men are capable of cheating.

I recently thought that my husband was cheating on me, I asked and he denied it. I still did not believe him so I went through his work bag his clothes and his wallet. I also called this person and never talked to her. I really wanto believe him, but I don't think that the trust is in our relationship anymore. What can I do to try to get my relationship back. We also have discussed seperation.

i been married for 4 yrs now but during this marriage my husband was never home, wouldnt go places with me or take me anywhere when i found out that he was cheating on me with more than one woman. being that he broke that trust i did go in the computer and look for friends i been off those sites for 2 yrs now trying to work on my marriage but my thing is i cant be sexual aroused my him anymore, its not because i been with other men i dont think. i recently found sexual stimulation pills in his pants ,and female phone numbers, when he came home what makes matters worse he works over seas doing security work, when he comes to sex i wont let him kiss me in the mouth i barely get arouse with him. i have thoughts of finding someone to spend time with not just sexually but emotionally because my husband isnt providing those things ,well emotionally no sexually sometimes, the last time we were together he couldnt get aroused it was like forcing a wet noodle in a small hole in a wall. we dont do anything together dinner, movies ect when he talks to me on the phone its like sex this and that but when he comes home its nothing but exciting. am i wrong to think about or yern for other men i have met men but they are all younger than me im 41 yrs i doing my best to walk away from those situations but if my husband would of took time to get to know me and not going to other women much older than both of us i wouldnt be this way .im confused

As of saturday sept 23 i would have been happily married 17 years. Almost two years ago out of the blue my husband called me one night stating he wasnt coming home anymore. The marriage that i held dear was over, for him. These past two almost years it has been a living hell for me and my four daughters. And i must admit it has been hell for my husband as well. It's amazing to see what a mid life crisis can do to so many people. The picture perfect marriage and family turned out to be something that cant even compare to the Jerry Springer Show. What is needed is major help from different sources but ironicaly it's not available to people who live in a county and town of money. If these resorces were available to us on the basis that we are a family in crisis, i have to believe things would be much better then they are right now. The longer these issues go untreated, the more me and my loved ones crumble. Within these almost two years there has been girlfriends, a baby born from his affair, a drug addiction, finicial rouins, a business lost and each and everyday wondering what we are to lose next. At what point do i throw in the towel and submit to defeat or do i keep screaming for help that isnt available to me?

im 13 and its very hard for me to cope with losing my grandmother....she was my best friend. i cant balance my dads problem with losing my grandmother. i loved my grandmother very much. and i find it weird that you never realize how much someone means to you until you lose them. i cant stand my dads problem any longer. i dont have the gut to tell him he has a problem and needs help. i love him and he is a great man. my mom knows he doesnt abuse me....but she tells me that he verbally abuses me when hes drunk. i dont want to lose him. i cant lose two people i love in one year. i dont know how to cope with everything. its getting too much for me to handle. i need professional help. im scared and dont know what to do. i have nobody to talk to and no-one that im comfortable talking to.

I have a 13 month daughter and I've been married for a year 1/2. For the past week its been very hard. My wife and I have been arguing for months and months.We both were attending a college and woking pt jobs. My wife and I got into a bad argument,and right now I can't see my daughter or wife. Its very hard. I still love my wife and hope we can work our problems out and not seperate. I want my life to be the way it used to be.

dr.keith, i am recently divorced and i find myself still in love with my ex-husband. we were married for a little over 2 years. the marriage was troubled from the start, he cheated on me many times,a child was born out of one of his affairs. he said all the things i needed to hear, and i wanted so bad to believe in him, he was very jealous and toward the end of the marriage he became physically abusive. the day he moved me out , he moved his new married girlfriend into our home. i know i am better off out of this marriage, but i really wanted to save it at the same time. am i losing my mind ?

I have s boyfriend i have been with going on three years and he is doing all he can for me and the kids, but there is always a side of me telling me to all of a sudden get mad at him and accuse him of out doing things,because of the t.v shows I watch. What should I do?

My parents are going through a divorce, but it's a majorly rough ride. They have argued and fought my entire life, but this time it was more serious. My mom and I were forced out of our house this summer because my dad threatened her with a knife. He put us out with no money, and my mom doesn't have a stable enough job to be able to even pay bills. They are going through court in November, but right now everything is making my mom a complete wreck, causing her not to eat or want to be active. I am also so stressed out because I have so much other things on and I can't get a job to help out. I just don't know what to do anymore, everything I try just isn't good enough.

I married my high school sweetheart and after 36 years, he left. That was hard enough, but he left me for our daughter-in-law. I really need help learning to cope with this and to gain back myself. I was surprised by what this