Recently my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years told me that we were on a break...he told me that " he wasn't any good for me because he didn't know what kind of job that he wanted or what he wanted out of his life." he also didn't know if he wanted to graduate or continue to work on his masters ( I myself just started Medical school.) He called this a break, but he tells his friends that I think that it's a break. Meanwhile, he tells me that he'll always love me and that he misses me and wishes that I would attend his races...He is also currently staying at a friends house. He has bought me flowers and has done things around the house,we even had lunch the other day and when asked why he did them he replied that he wanted to do something to make me happy. We live together and seeing how he hasn't been staying here I asked him if I needed to move out and find somewhere else for me and our large dog to live because I cannot afford to live in my house by myself and he told me no that he would just have to move back in then, I told him that he either needs to move totally back in or nothing at all. He absolutely hates confrontation and runs away from it anytime he is faced with something that he doesn't know how to deal with, and because of that we haven't really spoken about what is going on and I've written letters to him asking for answers but still nothing. We're both pretty young still (we're both 23) and have never lived with someone that we were dating. We had a wonderful relationship with the usual ups and downs that everyone has and then this came out of nowhere. I feel like a hollow shell of my former self, and I'm tried of coming home to and dark and cruel house that used to be filled with love and happiness, and I fill my pillow with tears and pain until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. I really want this to work, and I know that he's scared to talk about things, I'm just at my whit's end and have no clue what to do... He was the first one to really love me for me and not what I could go for them...and I love him for him and not just because he was there. I know that I'm still young and I have a lot of life left to live, but the things in my life that I have had to deal with have made me wiser then my years. He mom also calls me telling me that she thinks what he is doing is wrong but doesn't want to tell him that because that is her son.I just don't know what to do, I really want to be with him and despite all of the recent events he is a great person. I really need some help with this so any advice that anyone could give, would really help...

After a year, my ex-boyfriend has come back into my life to beg forgiveness. We had a good relationship that gradually devolved since I gave too much of myself and he began becoming verablly abusive in small, subtle ways. He had bought an engagement ring, and based on several comments, I knew about it. Then he didn't show up for dinner at a restaurant with my family, didn't talk to me for a week, then he broke up with me over the phone. I was devastated, since I was not even open to the potential of breaking up due to the engagement ring. It took me almost a year to recover and lo and behold, here he is. He has just broken up with a woman who cheated on him repeatedly and was messed up in so many ways. He is not yet in therapy, but just made an appointment with a therapist. I am worried about my strong feelings towards him still, and even more so about him hurting me again. We are starting as friends, since towards the end I loved him but didn't like him as a person at all. He was horrid to me and I felt miniscule. So we will see how the friends thing goes and maybe, after 3-6 months of therapy give it a try. My friends and family are understandably wary, as am I. Advice?

I am 19 yrs old. When i was 17 i got pregnant. I told my stepmother when i was three months along. She in return told my father. I called him up a couple of days later and he said i wasnt his daughter anymore. since then i have not talked to him. I have sent him pictures of my daughter who is now a year old. He told me he was going to put a p.p.o on me if i didnt stop contacting him and if it was anything important i needed to contact his lawyer. He has never met his granddaughter. But he is still my father and i will always love and miss him.

I had gotten into a pretty heated argument with my fiance, and ultimatly ended up in a Mental facility for Bi-Polar disorder. The whole time I was in there my mother and older sister put it in my fiances head that I wouldn't get better unless he left me,even offering him money for a plane ticket to move. This upset me beyond words. I was there to get better and work on myself yet everyone was making it that much harder. Well as a result my fiance and I broke up for three weeks. We had been together for over 7 yrs. My older sister and my mother I felt betrayed me, and caused him to run out the door. We just started working on things, but I'm not too sure that what he did can be repaired,let alone what my own family did to me.

Wow-been abandoned by a loved one? Yeah sure have. I voluntarily went into the hospital for very severe depression with suicidal thoughts and was released due to insurance. After coming home, I followed through and attempted suicide. My sister decided that she wanted nothing more to do with me. I have tried to apologize to her but it has done no good. My 19 year old daughter stays in contact with her and came home one day and told me that my sister had told her that I wasn't a good mother and that my daughter had basically raised herself. I was so hurt but I still would like to have my sister back in my life. I have had to let go for my own emotional stability though and don't know what else to do. I'm still hoping that some day she will decide that I am worth having in her life again. Anyway, thanks so much for giving me a place to let this out. It's still very hurtful to me. I enjoy watching you and hope that your show continues for a long time.

I think you both are strong people and i think no matter what you will fight to the end. u are amazing to survive such a hard time and come through it the way you have. you yourself sir are an insperation to many who deal with sickness. im honored to have read your story and know u will do well in the coming future. good luck.

In the past three years, I have faced two recurrences of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and been through two bouts of chemotherapy. This came during a particularly stressful time in my marriage, and when the second recurrence appeared, in May, 2004, my wife withdrew physically and emotionally (moved to another room in the house). My regimen of chemo and radiation was recommended, as the preferred course of a stem-cell transplant would be a tremendous challenge without the family support.

After my third treatment, and on our 16th anniversary, she moved out to an apartment with her daughter. I had three more treatments to go, and the radiation treatments at the end, but, as a CAT/PET scan had been clear a month earlier, she and her family felt I was better, so she could leave. Fortunately, I had been approved for disability and was waiting for my benefits to begin, so I would have an income to survive on my own. My only insistence was to be covered by her health insurance for two years, until my Medicare eligibility began, and we arranged for legal separation. I was fighting the cancer, and could not fight her at the same time. Our finances were a travesty, and bankruptcy was inevitable, and I filed and declared bankruptcy for the marital unsecured debts.

During this period, my hemoglobin and white counts reached dangerously low levels, and I went through one stretch of 5 straight weeks of blood and platelet transfusions. I was still living in the house, as I was waiting for an affordable apartment to become available in town. I was blessed to have a loving circle of church family and friends, and they supported me with transportation to the Medical Center each week for my checkups and hospital stays. I completed all treatment in December, 2004, and moved to my apartment just before Christmas.

When I first went to the hospital, I had an echocardiogram to establish a baseline for my heart function, as I had been experiencing some congestive heart failure symptoms earlier, between treatments. My oncologist detected a “murmur”, and recommended follow-up, but did not make it appear critical.

At the end of the first treatment, my wife’s question to my oncologist was, “When will he be useful again?” His response was that I was useful then, but should be back to full strength soon. She wanted me to work and earn a paycheck, and I had worked part time as a cook through most of the treatment cycle. When I made inquiries to see a cardiologist, she discouraged me, as she didn’t want to “start something else.” Her mother echoed these sentiments, and they passed off my “murmur” as being a benign concern. The cardiologist was cautious, and treated me with medication, feeling that may take care of the problem.

The murmur was mitral valve regurgitation, and Duke cardiologists believed a repair procedure was likely necessary. My first treatment for Hodgkin’s, in 1991, was two full cycles of radiation treatment, upper mantle, stomach, and extra treatments to get lymphadenopathy under my left arm. At the time, this was the gold standard for treatment. They were now realizing that the radiation to the chest and heart was resulting in scarring, valve problems and congestive heart failure. The full extent was not known then, as I did not have a catheterization and cardiac MRI until May, 2005. My ejection fraction had maintained, and my cardiologist wanted me to wait, as I had been through enough crises already, in his opinion!

· 1st recurrence, and chemo, summer, 2003
· 2nd recurrence, and chemo and radiation, in lieu of stem-cell, summer-winter, 2004
· Separation, summer-fall, 2004
· Bankruptcy, fall, 2004
· Disability determination, summer, 2004
· Moving into apartment, December, 2004

The catheterization revealed not only the mitral valve problem, but also aortic valve problems, three blockages and evidence of a heart attack at some time in the past. Surgery was in June, and what should have taken 5 hours took 10 hours, due to the radiation fibrosis and scarring. The mitral valve was repaired, the aortic valve replaced, and triple by-pass was completed. I responded slowly after surgery, and, three days later, went into arrest with ventricular fibrillation and coded, requiring a second surgery to remove a clot and put a balloon pump in place, and I was put in a medically-induced coma for 4 days, and my prognosis was cautiously optimistic, with rest home options explored.

When I awoke, I remembered my name and my PIN at the ATM, and slowly fought back. After 2 ½ weeks, my daughter brought me home and stayed with me during the week, and my son came and stayed the weekends. After 3 weeks, I was on my own, with friends checking in, and I began learning how to survive after such a trauma. After 6 weeks at home, I was able to get out and drive, and I began cardiac rehab, but also realized that the post-procedure depression had begun. I started on Zoloft, and contacted a social worker/counselor to schedule counseling treatment.

My main concern? Getting over my marriage.

I realized that in the midst of all the craziness, I was suffering from a broken heart, and it was the first time that had happened. Despite the abandonment, when I should obviously hate her, I still loved her, and had to come to terms with it.

Our marriage was a “Brady Bunch” attempt, and was fraught with jealousy and resentment throughout, as we had 5 children from first marriages, and they were 7 years apart from oldest to youngest. My children visited every other weekend, and her children had little contact with their father at that time. I was the step-father, with no preparation, and spotty success. We tried, but we failed, and the “crash and burn” affected all of us. But, my wife was the love of my life, and I could only remember the good times.

I knew all the pieces, and the reality of my life and my marriage and its end, and I just needed help in putting them together. I’ve slogged through it, and, with a strong sense of faith, I get up each morning and put one foot in front of the other and know I am blessed. My heart is mending, both physically and emotionally.

Why am I sharing this? Because I can. Because I am here and can remember, and laugh, and cry, and bitch, and smile. Because I know someone out there feels lower than I did, and I want him or her to know that it gets better. And I want to thank Dr. Keith for helping people understand their lives. His approach is real, and refreshing.

Keep helping people find their faith and how to live with it and celebrate it and share it.

My wife emotionally abondon me after our first child and had 2 more children since. Now she wants a divorce. I want my family intact. She cheated on me two years ago, I just found out, but I still want this to work. I don't want to be seperated from my children or my wife.